83 Months

Wyatt,

Ahhhh, Christmas.  Where do I even begin?!  Since it was our first real Christmas, as a family, living in the same house, John and I got a little bit excited.  Definitely more then you kids.  You are always excited about Christmas, John and I were down right giddy.  We wanted it to be special.  We wanted to respect the traditions that had already been set in motion with a 5, 6, 6, and 8 year old.  We wanted to spoil the shit out of you.  We wanted to shock and awe.  And we wanted to do all of this in two hours.  Because that is all we had.  John was picking up his kids at 8am and they had to leave for the airport around 10 to go to Texas.  You and I were meeting them in TX a few days later.

John and I were meticulous on making sure you all had the same amount; of gifts to open as well as money spent.  It was hard.  There was always one of you coming up short and then we would buy more and the process would continue.  I had a stash of gifts in my office that I would wrap in brown paper when I was on lunch. Gwynnie was very curious about the three present tradition.  She questioned you several times and of course you had the response that I have engrained in you readily prepared.  "Jesus gets three, and so do we.  Its his birthday."  I eventually had to intervene because she didn't understand that she once got a million presents from Santa and now only three. I told her on the first child's first Christmas, the parents write a letter to Santa explaining the rules of the house.  Because every home is different and every family celebrates in different ways.  So, Santa brought 3 presents in our house, but they would also get things from John and I.  (Hey.  I still think that's pretty good.)  She hesitated, but then ran with it.  At least for this first year, I think we got away with it.

Santa Pa paid us a visit!

You tore through your presents Christmas morning, as per usual really.  I felt bad that John missed so much of it because he was busy packing the kids up.  You all were thrilled.  I think favorites were Dylan's skateboard, Byron's vintage GI Joe Guys, Gwyn's tickets to see Taylor Swift and your new Skylanders video game. Mine was my tickets to see Book of Mormon and John's was the Walking Dead set (against my better judgement) but he would say it was his new work pants (boring).  However, I thought the pickle present was by far the best.  I wrapped up all these tiny boxes with clues in them, that sent you all on a scavenger hunt around the house and outside.  You were all running around in your pj's and having Gwyn read the clues along the way.  You were so freaking adorable. I had a TV in the basement for our famiy pickle present.  There was lots of screaming all around.  Actually, even though John was in on it, I think he was the most excited.  Since Dylan found the actual ornament, he claimed that it was his only and it would go in the boy's room.  Yeah, that idea got squashed pretty hard. 

I guess, traditionally, John's kids stockings were less the full.  Santa only brought some candy.  John failed to mention this.  So I packed the crap out of all the stockings.  With candy, sea monkeys, light saber lipgloss, jellybean pooping grumpy lambs, socks, pencils, camo bandaids, hair clips, toothbrushes, etc, etc, etc.  For you this was normal.  For the kids, this was extraordinary.  I got to sit and watch as Byron carefully unwrapped each item with awe and surprise, putting mostly all of them in his backpack for the trip.  It was a great Christmas.  One that I hope you will remember.

And then John and the kids left for the airport.  And you went with your Dad for a little.  And I was left, in my Christmas PJ's, in an empty house, surrounded by wrapping paper.  It was ..... weird but not entirely unpleasant.  Dadda and I decided to switch things up a little this year.  We both wanted you to be able to do everything with all the families.  So you did some bouncing around.  As part of this, you came to my church on Christmas Eve and got to participate in the Christingle Pagaent.  You have been coming to Sunday School fairly regular with me and quite simply the Pagaent is just a rite of passage.  You happily played a very adorable shephard.  And Lizzy and I quite made you laugh with our ridiculous faces and miming playing "Trumpets" by Jason Deruo from the choir loft balacony. I look am looking forward to making you laugh from afar for years to come.

I have always wanted you to have a sibling.  At least one.  I always felt that more keenly around Christmas time.  Some of my best memories are from Christmas with my sisters.  They were always my partners in crime and witnessing their joy was contagious happiness and excitement. You went from none to three in less then a year.  I loved watching you this Christmas, opening your presents and excitedly sharing them with each other.  And you helping Dlyan open his. And Gwyn reading all of you the clues.  And your hands a mile a minute watching Byron open the GI Joes. And Gwyn screaming at her Taylor Swift tickets and you all screaming with her without understanding why.  And watching you all seamlessly, overnight it seems, becoming siblings.  I know from the outside looking in, it must be choas.  But being on the inside, it is watching love take root in our living room.

I love you everyday,
Momma

82 Months

Bud,

Despite both of us being sick for most of the month, we really jam packed it with fun!  I have had a sinus infection for about two weeks now and you got a bad cold and pink eye.  So exciting!  You couldn't go to school so you had to come into work with me.  You helped me unpack boxes from Staples and played Legos in my office while I worked.  For not feeling well you were the best working buddy.  It kind of made me miss those days I brought you for a hour everyday.

A few days before Thanksgiving, John and I decided that none of you had ever been to the parade before and it was about time.  Both of us have such fond memories from when we were younger.  So, I called up Auntie B and begged her to let us borrow her apartment.  We thought it would be easier to sleep in there and then take the subway the next morning from Astoria.  You all were so THRILLED to sleep over somewhere new.  As soon as we got into her apartment you, Byron and Dylan ran through every room and then started playing some hide-and-seek crawling game.  It took us forever to get you all to bed you were so excited.

We bundled you all up the next morning and set off.  We stopped to get some coffees and you guys were so patient that they gave you all cookies for the subway ride.  And us free coffees, probably because it looked like we needed them.  Then there was the SUBWAY!!  You have been on it many, many times.  But because it was Gwyn, Bryon and Dylan's first subway ride I think you got in the spirit.  Honestly, you were all asking a million questions to a very tired 7:30am subway car.  I think you would have been content riding the subway all day.  We got off at 5th Ave to another round of questioning and found a great spot on 56th.


The police had barricades up a little into the streets off of 6th Avenue.  So we weren't on the direct parade route but you could see the whole street clearly with no one in front of you.  Once the parade started, the police let just the kids go into the blocked off area.  At one point, you were having a kids dance party with rollerblading clowns dumping confetti on your heads.  The looks on your faces when the first balloon rounded the corner was priceless.  Byron is still talking about the Kiss float.  Mamie swears that she saw us all on TV all the way from Texas but we couldn't find it on the DVR later.  There was mild "I'm cold" complaining from you and Gwyn but other then that it was seamless.  We were home by 1 to start the festivities at Aunt Candy's and down the Club.  It is definitely something that John and I plan on doing again.

Then on Friday, we took you to the light show at Jones Beach.  It had been shut down for a few years.  I'll admit that the light show was a little underwhelming.  You guys liked it but I think you were expecting something more.  Maybe we talked it up too much.  I don't know.  What I know for sure is that my most favorite part was having all six of us laughing in the car.  Between John's running commentary, stirring rendition of "The 12 Days of Christmas", and you getting a little rowdy after seeing a reindeer in a bikini, it was hilarity and chaos. I think those are the times that I love the most.  Just us and our laughter.

On Sunday was the Annual Tree Cutting, which deserves a post unto itself.  The whole month has been so fun but especially this last week.  All four of you have been meshing so well with each other lately.  We have been officially living together for a few months now and I guess I thought there would be a little more transition time.  More boundary testing.  More arguments.  More whining.  But there really hasn't been.  Of course there are times when you get possessive of me. And times when you argue over toys.  But on the whole, I am just so proud of all of you, especially you, Bud.  Simply because you have to share your everything.  Your toys, your mom, your room, your Gammy and Pa and you have done it with such grace and understanding.  You amaze me, my little one.

I love you everyday,
Your momma.

Kindergarten!!!

To say that the summer came to an abrupt end would be an understatement.  With vacations and laying around playing Legos for DAYS, school kind of crept up on us.  He was ready.  He had been ready.  But I also felt like it was this great thought that was never going to materialize.  Like it wasn't actually possible that he could be old enough to go to Kindergarten.  There was definitely that day before panic when I had forgotten to buy him a lunch box.  A quick, we have one night get into a routine mentality.  And am I actually going to be able to get him up and at the bus stop in time?!

The Bus Stop Crew

Wyatt has one of the earliest bus pick ups, 8:20.  Totally not good for us non-morning people.  I assume that I am going to be dropping him off fairly often but figured we should give it our fighting chance for the first week or so.  As predicted, we were running a little late and Wyatt has always traveled with an entourage.  Gammy and Pa were, respectfully, going to not be there for the first bus trip reserving that for Terry and I, but Wyatt INSISTED that they come.  More like demanded their presence.  So fine, the more the merrier.  Because of the lateness, I have almost no pictures of the first day.  Kid was a champ.  Waved goodbye to all of us and sat next to his friend Gwen on the bus.  Gammy thought there was a moment of hesitation but I didn't see it.  I thought he was mad at me for asking for that extra hug while his bus was waiting for him.  He gave me the "Mom, I've got things to do" attitude.  He couldn't be bothered with hugs.


Lunch box love notes begin!

Of course, I was the creeper that needed to drive past the school to see if I could see him get off the bus.  I know, I know, slight parenting fail. I ran the idea past Gammy and Auntie B.  They both seemed to be on board especially since I was driving to work anyway. There were some parents loitering around but I didn't want to intrude on his big day.  Kindergarten is a huge independent step that I have been preparing him for the entire summer, the entire year really.  We had talked about it endlessly.  Towards the end of the summer, we had "learning time" every day going over the basics and counting down on the calendar.  I wanted him to be able to take that step by himself and allow him to get the self satisfaction that he could, will, and did do it by himself.  So, I was the creep in the car.  I was late to work and I didn't see him.


Day Two

Then the waiting.  Ohhhh the waiting.  The longest 6 hours of my life.

We congregated at the bus stop extra early, all of us anxious to see how the first day went for our tribe. The first bus comes and one out of the five get off.  One of the mothers jumps on the bus to check the seats but they're not on that one.  Rumors abound.  About 10 minutes later the next bus comes, three more come off.  Great.  Of course the last kid missing is my kid.  I waited for another 3 minutes and decided to call the school.  I was still pretty calm at this point.  Maybe another bus was coming.  First day mess ups and all.  No big deal.  So when I finally get in touch with the school and their response was "OK, He's on a bus we are just not sure which one.  We're going to find him and call you right back."  FIND HIM.  As in they LOST HIM.  On his first day of Kindergarten. Total insanity.   After some bus radio contact and a few phone calls from his teacher, Wyatt was found on a bus going in the complete opposite direction.  Turns out they had our address as Court instead of Lane.  Simple computer error that cost Wyatt an extra hour on the bus and me a whole lot of vaguely veiled panic.

Wyatt was definitely miffed when he got home.  He stared me down "Mom! They put me on the wrong bus!! I had to ride it all by myself."  Thankfully our neighbor Chris with his daughter Gwen (they sit everyday together now, so cute) waited with me for Wyatt on their awesome quad.  Just as expected, as soon as Wyatt saw the quad, he quickly forgot about his solo bus ride.  After several calls to the school, I got the bus situation sorted.  Wyatt asked about twelve times if they were going to loose him again.  After much assurance, he agreed to have another try the next day.  I was and still am so proud of him for marching on the bus without hesitation the next morning.  That could have been pretty traumatizing for any kid.  Especially after finding out that they tried to make him get OFF the WRONG bus on the other side of town.  I was told that he, very politely, informed the bus driver that was not where he lived.  He is such a smart, self- reliant little man.


Next Day Smiles

The first few days were a little rough.  He went.  He was happy.  But he didn't have much good to say about it.  He said that the bus ride is his favorite, which is a slight miracle.  He said there is a lot of paperwork and focusing.  He said that his teacher is a little loud (understandably plus she does have a big personality).  He said he couldn't remember anyone else's names.  Or who he sat next to at lunch.  Or if he even ate lunch or just threw it out.  Very tight lipped my little one is.  Funny part is when we went to a Welcome to School Picnic a week later, he was like the mayor.  Rolled down our car windows and was shouting names and hellos as we drove past.  Its just an adjustment period.  Everyday is getting easier for him and I couldn't be prouder of the little academic he is becoming.

65 Months

My Love,

I think it is finally safe to say that we are officially moved in to our new home.  Yes, I know that we have been here for a few months now (we still don't have curtains and I can't find anything in the kitchen) but it takes time to adjust things to the way we like them.  You are pretty particular about how your toys are organized.  I tend to KEEP everything in its place but you definitely WANT everything in its place.  If there is one toy where its not usually I am sure to hear about it.  But overall, its home.  I love hearing you say 'Let's go home.'  I love when you want to invite the family over our house for dinner.  And definitely when you want to help me get the house 'ship shape and nice' and follow me around dusting.  Yup, that is definitely my favorite.


To celebrate we had a big housewarming party.  We invited some of the new neighbors, friends, family, and of course waited until Nana and Grandpa were home to really take it full circle.  We set up tables in the front yard so people could come and go as they pleased.  You ran around with the kids from the block and gave tours of the house when asked.  Basically, your favorite spots including your room and the den.  I am guessing that most everyone wanted to see the house not just all your toys but it was cute how proud you were.  By the end of the night, there were a few select people getting drunk in our den, eating left overs, and gossiping.  It felt like the beginning of something wonderful.  Like us moving in to this home, that I already loved, has begun to open doors for us.  That we are going to have more room to let love in.  Maybe it was just a good party, who knows.

You also graduated from pre-school!!!  And it was adorable!!!  Of course. You were all dressed like little chefs that had 'cooked up' your ABC's all year long.  You enthusiastically sang songs and walked across the church to get your diploma. They passed out a book with a picture of what each kid wanted to be when they grew up.  You decided you wanted to be a mailman because you liked getting packages.  That was definitely surprising.  I wanted your day to be extra special so after the ceremony you, me and Dad hopped on a train to the city. I promised you a trip to FAO Schwartz.  For some reason, despite all our trips we had never made it there.  It really is a magical place and seems a little more organized then the Toys R Us in Times Square.  I let you pick out a Lego set which took about an hour.  No joke.  You must have looked at every set 4 times each before making a decision.  Then we met Hayley and Pawel for dinner, maybe a little selfishly.  It is really a rare occurrence that the 3 of us are ever in the same city so I had to take advantage.  And pretty much the trick is, whenever there is a lego involved, you are bound to have a good time.

I am not sure if it is because we have been together more then normal or if there is any reason at all but you seem to be a little more loving then normal.  I wanted to say attached to me but that is not the case.  It is just that you are showing your affection towards me in a whole new way that is entirely too endearing.  Maybe it is because you once had several people that fawned on you all the time (who still do but see you less often) and now you just have me fawning on you everyday.  The other night you called me into your room, "Momma, I'm feeling a little snugglish.  Can you lay with me?"  Yes, of course.  How can I say no to that?  Once we were all settled, I started feeling these tiny kisses on my hand that was draped around you.  I kissed you back and in your sleepiness you said "Momma, when I kiss your it goes through your blood to your heart that's like a love meter.  So you can feel me loving you."  My sweetheart, my love meter is off the charts for you.  You make everyday better.  And I will always be there when you feel snugglish.

I love you everyday,
Momma

64 Months

Goose,

So, you got the chickenpox this month.  How the hell you did is absolutely beyond me.  You got the vaccine a good year and a half ago.  No one gets the chickenpox anymore.  Hell, I didn't even notice at first.  Gammy noticed in the morning when she stopped by on her way to work.  "Hey Kate, have you seen these red spots?"  There were about 3 on your back.  Nope.  Bug bites?  And off to school you went!  Then you had a play date with Patrick and you had so much fun you both were wrestling on the floor when you hugged goodbye.  When I got you in the bath, your spots had multiplied and I got concerned enough to bring you to Dr Greg.  We had been working in the garden the day before.  Maybe you got something there?  After a longish visit with a magnifying glass, we got the oatmeal bath diagnosis.  It was a very mild case because of the vaccine.  But, who knew?  All the mothers at your school wanted to examine you in case their kids got it.  And yes, you loved the oatmeal and all the Wii playing.

You also had your kindergarten orientation.  You were pretty appalled that you had to go back to pre-school after your big trip to your new school.  You were acting all tough and grown up.  It was kind of hysterical.  You held my hand for about five minutes until you got your name tag and noticed our neighbor Gwen and your friend Gregor. There are 2 kids you will ride the bus with on our block, Gwen and Ryan.  You were a little concerned that on your test bus ride that you didn't get to ride with your neighbor friends. But I assured you that it wouldn't be the case for the rest of the year.  During your teacher conference, they told me how independent and well adjusted you are.  I believed them whole heartedly but this was extremely evident on orientation day.  It amazes me all the time how much you still need me and at how much you don't.  You can walk into any situation and feel comfortable in 5 minutes. But you still get "wonwely" at night and want to snuggle.  You stand on chairs and help yourself to things in our cabinets.  But you still want to kiss and hug me before we leave each other.  Its comforting that you still look to me for reassurance before you leap but it is also a little worrying and thrilling to know that one day soon, you're not going to look anymore.

You got to march in the Memorial Day parade with your baseball team.  Evidently, the rest of your team thought this was pretty lame because it was only you and William that showed up.  There were plenty of other kids but you were the only Diamondbacks.  We all got there early to make sure we had a good spot and screamed our heads off when you walked past.  It was adorable how the four of you were holding hands; Chris, William, you and Pa.  As soon as you saw us, you decided that you were done marching and wanted to watch the rest.  It was your big debut!  After years of begging to get out of the parade when marching with the band, it was refreshing seeing how exciting it can be for the first time.  Most of all seeing Pa's face.  He was so proud being the one marching next to you.

Dad finally made it home from his year long tour in Afghanistan.  You really didn't have much contact so I was curious to see how the whole thing was going to pan out.  When I first told you that Dad was in Texas you insisted he wasn't because you thought I was talking about Pa.  It took you a while to make the connection but once you did you got pretty excited.  You wanted to show Dad our new house and what you have been doing.  I think this whole coming and going has become a normalcy to you.  You enjoy spending time with Dad when he's here and don't ask for his when he's gone.  I sincerely hope that you have some great times together while he is home.

This might be something for an entire other blog post.  A dear friend of mine from college suddenly past away at the end of April.  You were with me the night I found out, and I think, saw me completely break down for the first rememberable moment in your life.  I broke down in hysterics and left the room.  You were so concerned and asked me several times that week if everything was ok.  I tried to explain the loss I was feeling without freaking you out.  It was hard.  Made harder that you were so concerned for me.  You couldn't understand why I was unmotivated and listless peppered with bouts of violently ripping out weeds from the garden.  "You know when you feel not so good and lazy sometimes?  I'm giving you a hug for that." I still am sad, sometimes, when I least expect it.  I'll catch myself just drifting off, lost in memories.  I know that loss is a part of life.  I just hope that I can be as comforting to you as you were to me.

I love you always and everyday my sweet boy.
Momma

Sandy, That Bitch.

Here are some pictures during and after Hurricane Sandy.  This is part of our local playground.  This was before the hurricane even hit.  High tide around noon when she was making landfall later in the evening.

At around 11pm, Dad and I walked down the end of our block.  It was supposed to be the worst part of the storm.  The sound the trees made were unreal.  You expect for trees to come uprooted by storms.  But there were huge trees that just snapped. Our flashlights caught a glare where the road should have been and I couldn't understand what I was seeing. "Dad, I think thats a boat?" It took him a while to believe me because we couldn't get very close.  The next morning we walked down. Yes, it was a boat.  A boat appropriately called Tip-Sea.

I can't complain about our lack of power.  We had a lot of candles.  We made due with Candyland, lanterns and candles.  I drank lots of wine and cooked all the food in the freezer on our gas stove that was remarkably still working.  It was actually kind of nice.

This is one of the main road into our town that got partially washed away. They are trying to open it back up in July.  Until then its the long way out of town.

One of the most shocking pictures I've seen.  (Taken by a friend).  This is Long Beach.  Wyatt and I have walked down this street hundreds of times.  It is going to take a while but it will be back and stronger then ever.

mtn jam

I dropped Wyatt off at school at 9am on Friday.  He seemed barely phased that I was leaving.  Even told his teachers "Momma's going camping.  But its not for kids camping."  They both looked at me with raised eyebrows.  One of them told me to "Be good!  Have fun!" on my way out, like I was an 18 year old.  Wyatt gave me a hug and turned away.  I think I expected it to be more ceremonious. I wanted to linger. Give him another extra long hug but I forced myself to turn and walk away.  The bigger my fuss, the bigger his fuss.  I kept on thinking of going back but thought better of it.  My therapist was convinced I was going to cry but I didn't.  Go me.  As I pulled away, I took a deep breath and put him in the back of my mind.  He was in excellent hands.  They would call me if there was a problem.  "Just relax" I told myself.  "Have fun. You deserve a good break every 5 years."

By 3pm, we were unpacking our tent and gear with a cold beer in our hands.  By 6pm, we were listening to Gary Clark Jr, then the Roots and Gov't Mule.  It rained a lot but that's what rain gear is for.  What's the point of being a dirty hippie all weekend if there's no mud!?  And there definitely were some hippies.  Where do they live all the time?  Or are they bankers and lawyers that break out their mexican poncho's, Birkenstocks, joints and dreads on the weekends?  I can't remember the last time I saw that many dreads.  There were these bunch of (gorgeous) girls who were quite proficient in the hulu-hoop.  Where does one go to learn that?  Are there classes?  Do-it-yourself DVD's you can watch at home?  Seriously, they were REALLY good.

On Saturday, we woke up early and then I took a nap before we went down to the concerts.  Like a legit nap, people.  We were drinking with lunch and I decided to lay down for a while.  Because I could.  Because I didn't have to worry about anyone but myself.  I can't even describe how cool that feeling was. Poop when I want to.  Sleep when I want to.  Eat when I feel hungry.  It has been 5 years which I think why it was such a novel experience.  Don't get me wrong, I love Wyatt.  I love my life.  I wouldn't change anything but having this little respite, a little chance just to be myself for a while was liberating, enlightening, refreshing.

First up was Zach Deputy, then my lovely nap, then The Word, Givers, and Ben Folds Five.  I love Ben Folds Five. For years. I would have gone just to see them.  They were amazing.  Literally, I almost peed in my pants (like only a true mother can) when they started playing "Kate".  Best moment ever.  Jen said that normally I am 95% happy but when I was there I was 167% happy.  If I was like that all the time she wouldn't be my friend.  I told her I probably wouldn't be my friend either.  We drank a lot.  We danced a lot.  We ate a lot. My phone ran out of battery on Saturday night and I left it until Sunday afternoon. It might not seem like a big deal but for me its huge.  I am not attached to my phone but when I am away from Wyatt, I am.

We packed up Sunday morning, planning on cleaning up camp then catching some more concerts and heading home around 7ish.  We caught Trombone Shorty (hello first seat trombone in HS), the Carolina Chocolate Drops (who played cow bones and washboards), Tedeshi Trucks Band, Dawes and some of Michael Franti. I loved Dawes but I kept finding myself looking at my watch.  Was their set going to be over soon?  When are we starting our ride home?  It had nothing to do with the rain and everything to do with getting to see Wyatt before he went to sleep.

Wyatt was asleep when I got home.  But he was just the same as I had left him; safe, happy and loved. Mom said he had one brief moment where he was upset during a thunderstorm and was concerned that momma was camping but smooth sailing otherwise.  He smiled and hugged me in the morning.  I am so grateful and happy that I got that time but I was just as happy to come home.

Off We Go

I am leaving tomorrow for a weekend camping/music adventure in upstate NY.  Without Wyatt.  I will be gone from Friday morning until Sunday night.  It is the longest time I will have ever left Wyatt, to date.  Ever.  60 potential hours of freedom.  I am feeling apprehensive about it but also wildly excited.  Its a weird land to be in.  Total opposites.  I'll be excitedly hopping around packing, looking forward to being a dirty hippie one minute to squeezing Wyatt so hard he can barely breathe and wondering what cute things I am going to miss the next.

He'll be fine.  In the loving care of 4 grown adults with "no rules cause Momma's away."  With all the attention my family will throw at him, I doubt he will even know I am away.

Then again, he tried to convince me to bring him with me today.  We were shopping for supplies:
"Momma, where are you going camping?"
"Hunter, NY.  Its on a mountain."
"I love camping!"
"Yeah I know you do, bud.  But this time its not really for kids."
"Most kids can't go because they can't climb the mountain but I can!  I climb mountains when we go cut christmas trees."
"I know you do. But our tent is too little."
"We have another tent. We can bring 2 tents!"
"Maybe bud. Maybe"

When we got home he wanted ice cream for dinner because there are no rules.  "Not yet bud. Not yet."

More to come.  Hopefully, much, much more.

Conferencing

Terry and I had Wyatt's first parent teacher conference the other day.  I wasn't nervous.  Just apprehensive, I guess.  I know Wyatt is very smart.  His vocabulary is amazing and he makes quick connections.  I know he is a good kid.  They have told me about one incident when he got angry and pushed a little girl on the playground.  They said he admitted to it immediately and then was crying and so upset about it that they felt bad punishing him.  He was punishing himself far worse then their time out would.  I know he flaps his arms, jumps and rubs his hands when he gets excited but only when he gets excited.  It is like his excitement cannot be contained and spills out through his entire body. I know he can't pronounce certain words.  But others like carburetor, amphibious, frustrated or sea anemone, he can say perfectly and in context.  I know he sometimes has trouble concentrating on things he doesn't want to do.  He can sit for hours, explicitly following Lego directions, but has trouble sitting still while eating dinner for 5 minutes.

I know all of these things about my son but my worst fear was they were going to tell me something I didn't know.  Something that I wasn't aware of.  Something that I didn't know to look for or be concerned about.  His inability to pronounce L's is endearing, not concerning.  His attention span is classic 4 year old boy, nothing to worry about.  His flapping makes me want to hug the child till he pukes, not an early sign of something bigger.  His excitement around other kids is because he is an only child, not because he is anti-social.

I love Wyatt's teachers.  I respect them.  They are with Wyatt 9 hours a week.  I value their opinion.  I appreciate that they have more experience with younger kids then I do.  But it is also hard to hear someone else talk about your kid.

Most of what they said was positive.  No surprises.  They did mention a few things that I was concerned about myself.  They think his L's will mature with time.  And his stammer, when he is trying to find the right word, is from excitement and nothing more.  He could use with some more interaction with other kids, but I know that.  Hence the two story-times, soccer, YMCA class, and of course the East Ave summer camp that will be starting shortly. We will keep working on his letters and numbers, his penmanship, his concentration.  But they were quick to remind me that even as adults things that interest us hold our attention for longer.  Basically, they confirmed what I already knew; that Wyatt is a pretty amazing kid and I couldn't be prouder.

This Has to be Good Luck, right?

Slip Slidin'

Wyatt hates the slide.  Its just a thing.  He will go down little ones but runs to the top of large slides and then goes back down the way he came.  There is no cajoling, no bribing, no riding down together.  Kid just won't do it.  So, I stopped trying.  Figured it was a phase and he'll slide when he's ready.  Then we were at the park (we go almost every other day), he went down on his belly.  No Big Deal.  Just did it.  He still will only go on his belly.  But its a start, right?

Side note: I was so excited I almost peed myself. Literally, I was running, jumping around taking pictures, cheering.  I don't think I could have been happier if he solved world hunger.  That's my boy.  On the big slide.

Big Boy Bed

Drum roll please..... Wyatt has been officially moved into his big boy bed in his big boy room for a solid two weeks already!!  Most of you know that I have been trying to make this transition for a while but honestly didn't really know how to do it.  My room (our room until recently) is on the first floor.  Wyatt's new room (formerly Rebecca's room) is on the second floor.  It is kind of weird having him on a different floor.  He's so far away.  What if I don't hear him and he sleep stumbles down the stairs?  What if he keeps Mom and Dad up all night?  What if the entire thing is a nightmare and just delays the process even further?

So, I didn't push it.  We talked about him moving to the room upstairs.  We picked out a comforter together and I got it for him for Christmas.  We talked about painting the room.  We bought curtains.  I am painting these cute canvases for him that he picks out the colors for.  I bought these adorable truck wall stickers that we decorated his room with.  Then one night he grabbed his blanket and binky and headed upstairs to sleep in his "big boy room".  I rolled with it, even though the room wasn't entirely ready.  I wasn't entirely ready.  He has been up there ever since.  And has even had several nights, from 9pm to 8am completely by himself.  No calling for me.  No leaving his bed.  Only the rustling of sheets as he rolls over.

There have been minor setbacks.  Very, very minor.  First, he does call for me.  Usually around 3am.  At which point, I am exhausted and usually end up falling back asleep in his bed.  I don't really think this is a big deal because at least he is STAYING in his room.  He does not wander around in the middle of the night.  And when I don't fall asleep and go back downstairs, he's fine.  Just needs to get tucked back in, a few kisses, and he's back sleeping.  Second, he doesn't really nap anymore except if he's not feeling well or if he is really wiped out.  On the few occasions that he does nap, he's asked to sleep in my bed.  Again, not really a huge problem because I don't foresee him napping for much longer.  Third, there has been lots of bed hopping.  Sometimes I sleep in the third bedroom upstairs to be closer to Wy, most of the time I'm downstairs.  When Rebecca comes home there are less beds.  I am thinking about getting a futon in Wyatt's room just for some added bed space and maybe some added cool couch factor for his friends.  God knows he loves showing off his new room.

It has been amazing.  He has been amazing.  I am shocked.  I expected it to be so hard.  After reading all these child sleep books, I expected to be sleeping on the floor for months while he got adjusted. I guess he was just ready.  He loves it up there.  He has so easily made the switch.  I, however, am not doing as well.  I wake up a lot wondering where I am or where Wyatt is.  I have had a really hard time adjusting to sleeping by myself.  I can't seem to get comfortable.  And I definitely cannot sleep through the night.  In fact, a lot of times, it takes all my will power not to run up the stairs and go cuddle with the boy.  Ah, how the tables have turned!

A Place Between Sheer Glee and Sheer Panic

One of my best friends from 3.

The Playgroup at St. John's is a weird enigma of a place for me.  Wyatt LOVES it there but sometimes I think that he would love school anywhere.  He is a very social person.  A kid that wants to play all the time and has an elaborate imagination that only other kids can follow.  But for me, I can't really shake the assumption that I am the hired help.  I work there.  So, while the other parents are caught up talking and making connections with each other, I am talking to the teachers about whichever new problem has arose.  It has made it hard for me to make connections and establish some kind of social circle for Wyatt.  I know he's only 3 (!!) but some of my best friends were made at 3.  After making my bold New Years resolution, I decided to just go for it.

Wyatt has several boys that he speaks of fairly often from school (and one girl, Davis.  It might be love.  Or it might be because she has got that devilish twinkle in her eye and gets scolded a lot).  So, I sought out Chases' mom and asked to get the boys together.  When she said yes and to come over to their house after class, I had two distinct reactions.  Sheer glee and sheer panic.  I was so excited for Wyatt and just mildly terrified that I was going to muck up some play-date protocol that I am utterly unfamiliar with.  Do I just drop him off?  Do I stay?  Do I pack snacks?  Of course, Wyatt has had friends over but these are friends that I am also friends with, no panic involved.  Actually, it is a lot of fun because I get girl catch-up time while Wy plays.  But I don't know Chases' mom.

Wyatt's other friend William

So, we go over to Chases' house and I am asked to take off our shoes.  So I decided we were staying.  Within 3 minutes Wyatt and Chase are upstairs playing and Valerie, her 8 month old daughter, and I are chatting happily in the kitchen.  At one point Chase ran downstairs without pants on and she explained that they were potty training.  Nothing breaks the ice more then a naked 3 year old. I think I might have had just as much fun as Wyatt.  The boys got along great and after 3 hours Wyatt still didn't want to leave.  And dare I say, that I got a new friend as well?!  Wyatt loved the play-date so much that he asks to go over Chases' house and eat french fries for lunch all the time.  Whenever he doesn't want to do something, he says he is going over Chases' house.  Unfortunately, the next time we planned on getting together (with Peter and Peters' mom at the library... a triple date!!) Wyatt got sick and we couldn't go.  I have to admit, I am looking forward to our next play-date.  I think Wyatt is too!

Wy's First School Photo

The Greatest Adventure

Wyatt's first day of school went brilliantly!  Once he woke up (which only took one TV show, 30 cuddle minutes, and 2 pop tarts.  He is a very slow riser.  A new record!) he was so excited.  He spoke about the toys he wanted to play with and the friends he was going to make.  Surprisingly we made in out of the house early which gave me time to document the moment on our front porch.  Can't you just feel his happiness?!?  On the ride, I couldn't stop from smiling.  I was just so excited for him.  I battered him with questions and fun things he was going to do at school.  

"Do you remember your teacher's names? Your teachers are going to be so excited to see you again."

"They're sad."

"They're sad?! Why are they sad?"

"Because there is no Wyatt yet."

When we got to the church, I told him it was going to be a few more minutes and we should go into the office first.  He grabbed my hand and tried to drag me down the path going to his school.  I couldn't even get him to use the bathroom because he wanted to use the potty in his "new school."  He ran right in the room and went directly to the toys.  I reminded him that he needed to ask his teachers if he needed to go to potty.  I swear if he had learned to roll his eyes at me, he would have.  He sounded almost exasperated when he replied "Yes, Mom."  I asked him to give me a hug and kiss (which is standard leaving protocol).

"Where are you going?"
"Mom's going to work.  But I'm going to come and get you in a little while.  You get to stay and play with your friends."
"OK"
And that was about it.  He turned away from me to go play.  I had my camera to document his first day but since he seemed so ready I felt like I should just get out of there.  I didn't want to linger.  So, I walked out and he didn't even notice.  For the next hour, I vacuumed.  Convinced it was probably the only way I would survive.  I needed something mindless, repetitive, so I didn't run over and spy in the windows.

When I walked in to get him, his back was to me and he was doing a puzzle with another little boy.  Mrs. Marino came over to me and said that he got a little upset when other mom's started to show up and I didn't.  She also said he was very smart and went to the potty.  She said when they asked him to do a project he said "No thanks" at first.  Yes, that is my son.  I called to him and he ran over to give me a hug.

"I was sad.  I didn't know where you were"

"Oh sweetie.  I was at work. I will always come back and get you.  How was your first day?  What did you do?"

And he turned to show me the apple he made and hung on the wall.  The toys he played with.   The playdoh shape he made.  On our way out, I asked him to say thank you to his teachers.  He ran straight for Mrs. Schwab and gave her a hug.

On our way to the car, I told Wyatt "Sweetie, I am just so proud of you!" He reached out and grabbed my hand saying "I'm so pround of you too."  I didn't cry.  I am pretty pround of myself too.

On day two, I tried to get him to pose for a picture outside his classroom.  He wanted no part of it.  He just wanted me to open the door.  He ran in.  On Thursday (a no school day), Gammy asked if he wanted to say home with her for the day.  He said he wanted to go to school.  My little boy is all grown up.  I am so happy he loves it.  Its so exciting.  I am so proud of my Wyatt.

It all Comes Rushing Back

I have been having a challenging time with Wyatt lately.  He seems to be exercising his right to say No more or he's testing his limits.  Something.  But it doesn't make me happy.  Its harder to get out of the door. Its harder to get him in the bath. Its harder in general.  I have to play my A-game all the time or else he out smarts me.  And the whining, my God, the whining.  I can handle crying but the whining for HOURS.  It drives me nuts.  He's just so cute about it too.  I'll ask him to put his shoes on and he'll go "Just one more minute.  One minute," holding up his little index finger.  But after 10 more minutes, he still won't budge and I have run out of creative excuses.  What do I do?  I was under the impression that the hardest part was over.  Not so.

Anyway, I was cleaning out my night stand bookcase.  Removing my belongings from the ONE area left in my room that hasn't been invading to make space for Wyatt's books.  It was a border-line bad day.  It seemed that everything we did there was a fight.  It was hot.  Both of us were crabby and so I cleaned while Wyatt played on the train table in the AC.  A cool down moment in many ways.  I stumbled upon a journal entry that I wrote before I started the blog.  It made me smile. It made me remember why, even on hard days, I need to reach down deep and pull out all my patience.  Remember that I need to give Wyatt the very best of me, everyday, no matter how cranky we are, or how hot it is, or how tired and worn out I am.  Its dated June 10th 2007.

I took my first pregnancy test last night.  Positive.  I'm 24 years old, not married, currently not employed, and with no health insurance.  Clearly not the most perfect circumstances.  But I don't ever plan anything.  It's the Kate way.  I have always wanted to be a mother.  I never imagined that I would be the first in the family, the first of my friends.  I guess sometimes you can't plan and can't question.  I was meant to have a child now.  It was definately a surprise but a blessing. 


I took the test at Rebecca's appartment and had plans to go out with some friends.  Rebecca and I were getting ready, the pregancy test burning a hole into my bag, and I just had to know.   Right then.  Rebecca was stressing about her roomates, her social life, her career, her love life. I casually mentioned I was freaking out about something too.  She looked straight in my eyes and said, "You're pregnant, right?"  She was very surprised and tried to play it off like no big deal but her excitement shone though her every word.  It was always a joke in the family that I would have children and Rebecca would raise them.  Despite our rough relationship during childhood she has become my best friend.  I couldn't imagine my life without her in it.


I took my teacher certification exams and was planning on going out to celebrate with Rebecca and then RJ and some Fordham friends at the Barrow St Pub.  I stopped drinking on the spot.  I still went out and quietly drank sprite, thinking I was fooling peolple with my lime garnish, while everyone else was doing shots.  Rebecca was proud of me that I was already caring for you, changing my life to make the best one for you.  You became my number one priority from the minute that test turned positive.


I don't know what I am going to do or how everything is going to work out.  But I know that you will always be loved.  You are going to be the first of a new generation.  I know you'll be spoiled and will never have to go without.  I am not going to let anyone know until I'm 3 months.  I want to make sure you're all right.  My tasks are cut out before me.  Job hunt starts now.  Health insurance is a huge priority.  That was the very beginning of you.

Where Dreams Come True

So, we are taking a small hiatus...

Two things about this video: One, Wyatt refuses to let me pack. I put things in and he takes them out and then puts himself in the suitcase. Cute, but counter productive. Two, he perfectly demonstrated a new catch phase that Auntie B taught him. "Na-na a Foo-foo." Again, Rebecca, why oh why would you teach this to a two year old?

I am so excited for our vacation I can barely sleep. Wyatt has no idea what is waiting for him. At the moment he doesn't quite get the Disney part of it but is absolutely THRILLED to be going on a plane. He thinks we are going to Mickey Mouse's house and Mickey is going to tell us to come in a play. I can't wait to see his face light up as we walk into the Magic Kingdom. So please excuse our absence for a week. I promise that when we get back we will have a ton of stories and even more pictures!!

The 80's are Out!

I have been hesitant to cut Wyatt's hair for a long, long time. It took him so long to grow any hair at all that it felt like a shame to cut off all his hard work. However, it was becoming more and more apparent that it had to be done. Over the summer, he has these tight curls at the base of his neck. So cute. More recently his curls have become heavy, matted down, and frizz. Even in his "all boy" clothing he has been mistaken for a girl far too often. I have allowed him to grow a mullet. A full fledged mullet. There is really no excuse for that.

So, I motivated on a spontaneous whim. That often happens to me. Its ok until suddenly its not and I have to fix it immediately. I found this little place called Little Stars. They had airplanes and jeeps that he could sit in and could play video's at each station. They were also smart enough to have a ton of toys.

He sat still in an airplane for maybe 2 minutes. The woman tried to put a robot smock on him. I thought the robots would trick him but he wasn't fooled. He wanted out and fast. Gammy came to the rescue, sitting with Wyatt on her lap, getting hair covered, so I could take pictures and fetch toys. She didn't cut the front at all. Just shaped up the back some and trimmed around his ears. No buzzers involved.

Overall, I think he did great. I guarantee the stylist would say otherwise. He was a moving target a lot of the time, staying still in short spurts. But honestly what would you expect from a toddler.

It is my personal opinion that his cuteness stock has tripled since his haircut. His hair is wavy and thick. Still unruly but shaped, defined. I can't stop looking at him. Ok, so I have always stared at him but he's just so cute! The video below is just us playing around outside. You can see his haircut in action. And I think its hysterical that every time he sees the camera he says "cheese". God, I just can't get enough! He's all grown up.

The Genius in Action

All of a sudden, Wyatt has begun communicating.   It is pretty amazing watching his mind work as he grasps concepts and tries to pronounce everything we say.  This is a montage of some of the newest words he has been testing out.  My favorite is "Tac-ta" which translates to tractor.  He thinks everything that is slightly truckish is a tractor.  That works fine with me because I can't tell the difference between a forklift, a crane, and a dump truck.  It is easier for me to point and say tractor.  Some of his other words are "Hap" which means what happened, complete with hand gesture. Usually this gesture comes right on the heels of Wyatt spilling something.  He'll dump apple juice all over the place then ask "hap, hap".  I'll tell you what happened, you made a mess.  He can get away with it though because he's so damn cute.  Lizzy swore he said spaceship the other day.   Yeah, right.

Peanuts and Crackerjacks

Mom, Dad, Terry, Wyatt, and I went to our first game at Citi field to see the Mets.  The age difference between Wyatt and my Dad considerable shrunk the closer we got to the baseball diamond.  It was like Dad regressed to an 8 year old receiving his first bike on Christmas morning.  I haven't seen him that happy and giddy since he shaved off his mustache.  I don't care much about baseball or keep up with anything.  I still say my favorite Met is Daryl Strawberry who hasn't played for them in about 20 years.  Its the only last name as a 5 year old that I could pronounce. And I still found myself caught in the hysteria of Citi Field, smiling myself stupid as we reached the pristine entrance.

Wyatt, of course, was amazing.  He freaked out a little when Terry and I were elbowing our way though the crowd to get in and security made Terry put Wyatt down so they could baton him.   This look of panic crossed Wyatt's face and was on the brink of tears thinking we might loose him.  As soon as he was safe back in Terry's arms, he was fine.  He was overall amazed by the lights, the grandeur, the french fries, and my Dad's Mets hat.  Wyatt refused to take the hat off the entire car ride in.  Every time I tried to take it off he would wake up from his car induced slumber and start crying.  A true fan at a year old.

After he got bored watching the game, Terry and I took turns running him around the grandstand.  Literally going from one side of the stadium to another.  I got the layout down, located every concession stand and bathroom, and probably saw more of Citi Field then Dad did.   When the fans started doing the wave around the stadium, of course we joined in.   It went completely around about 6 times before being stopped by a good play on the field.  Wyatt was thrilled and cracked up every time we jumped up in our seats.  God knows what he thought we were doing.  We stayed until the top of the 9th before deciding Wyatt was going to fall asleep standing up.  Once at the car, I got him into his pajamas guaranteeing he would be out in 2 seconds.  We reached our exit of the LIE, edging 11:45 pm, and he was still awake.  Ah, the excitement of your first ball game.