Christmas in Pictures

The tree after Santa came.  Quite impressive if I do say so myself.  On the chair are the milk and cookies that Wyatt left out for Santa.  He also left carrots for the reindeer.  With hummus on the carrots because "the reindeer love hummus too!"

The six stockings on the banister our stockings.  The stockings lining the stairs are for my mom's extended family that come over on Christmas Day.  The family is growing so fast we are running out of stairs! 

We always get Christmas Eve pajamas in our house.  Since Wyatt was born, I have been buying them for my parents too.  This year when we went shopping, Wyatt picked out these lovely Grinch pajamas for Pa and then insisted that Gammy have them as well.

Getting his first look at the tree.  I woke him up (a little) asking "Let's go see if Santa came" because I was so congested Wyatt responded with "Cave?!  Why would he bring a cave?"  He walked right over to the tree, picked up the first gift and asked if he could open it.  I told him we had to wake up Aunt Lizzy and Auntie B.  He threw the present back under the tree and ran upstairs to wake up the girls.

The first present Wyatt opened.  He got  a ton of Lego's which he hasn't stopped playing with.  I think the Lego's are his favorite toy.  However, when we were opening stockings, the absolute last of the gifts, Wyatt opened a tiny matchbox car and exclaimed "this is just what I always wanted!"

The running joke is Lizzy, at 19, gets a Nancy Drew computer game every year.  And she always plays it on winter break usually cheating, might I add.  This year I got her an accompanying WWNDD (What Would Nancy Drew Do!) shirt.  Hysterical.

Wyatt had to play with each toy he opened before moving on the the next toy.  I don't think he understood the extent of the presents because when we were onto the second party of the day he looked at me and asked "Are we going to get more presents?!?" Like he couldn't understand that there could be more to open.

Lizzy being her ridiculous self.  Wyatt picked out those socks especially for Aunt Lizzy.  It was very important to him that she got them.  He thought she would "Love these beautiful dogs!"

Just a typical cousin pile up at my Aunt Carolyn's Christmas brunch.  

The morning after customary Clue game.  I got Rebecca (although she picked it out herself) The Office Clue.  Naturally, I won.

The next morning Wyatt touched my nose with his index finger saying "Hey you.  Hey you.  Look at the windows!  Its morning.  Its Christmas!"  I had to explain that I thought Christmas was over and Wy was adamant that it wasn't. Yes, I love Christmas too.  But I also love the following days of laying around and playing with toys.  Of course the snow totally helped us being land locked, playing with Legos and trains, in our pajamas all day. 

Lizzy got Dad Decision Points.  He began to read it and then fell right asleep.  Wyatt and Auntie B thought a silent Silly String attack was in order.  Dad never woke up.  He stayed like that for a good 2 hours.  Thats what shoveling 2 feet of snow and GWB will do to you.

Merry Christmas

The Grinch

I first have to preface this post by saying: I love Christmas.  It is, by far, my favorite holiday.  I love going to church on Christmas Eve, opening Christmas pajamas, the family camaraderie, the sibling rivalry, the eggnog, sending Christmas cards, and most of all giving gifts to others.  I even really enjoy Christmas shopping.  It gives me a good reason to spend money, something I normally do very seldom.  However, this Christmas has been something of a Grinch trifecta that has left me entirely unprepared, totally behind the 8 ball, and a little on the Grinchy side.

My first issue has been work.  This is the busiest time of year for the church. Michael's last day at St. Johns was on the first Sunday of Advent.  Normally, I am doing my Sexton things and more recently my Clergy PA things which keeps me busy full time.  With Michael gone, I am now picking up some Sunday School stuff which was NEVER in my job description.  Now, I don't blame Michael for this at all.  In fact, I am very happy for him.  It was only a matter of time before he found an amazing church of his own in Brooklyn but just because Michael is gone doesn't mean the work has stopped.  So, on top of it being Christmas, I am also adding a good 10 hours of extra work into my normal work week.  The thing that kills me is the extra work is stuff I can really sink my teeth into, like planning a youth Habitat retreat.  I would LOVE to do that!!  It is just a matter of trying to fit it in with everything else.  Its been a little crazy and a great stressor.  I have had several evenings this month lying awake wondering if I could complete all the things that I have to finish the next day.

Then of course on Monday before Christmas Wyatt started getting sick.  Runny nose, coughing, generally ickiness.  On Tuesday night, he coughed so much he puked, only once and I think it was because I had just given him a glass of water.  Today, I brought him to the doctor to find out he has his first ear infection.  Of course, the doctor was impressed that it was his first one and he is almost 3 but I am just panicked.  It is going to be Christmas!!  My baby can't be sick!!  I want him to enjoy every second instead of feeling gross and wishy-washy.  And on top of all that, when Wyatt is sick all he wants is me to sit on the couch and snuggle.  Which is not so bad normally but during the holidays its hard.  I HAVE to go to work.  I end up bringing him with me.  And he has been good but he's not 100% good.  Now that Wyatt is on antibiotics I am guaranteed to be sick for Christmas.  He will be feeling better and I will be getting worse.  It always happens like that. 

You know that post I wrote about my dog being out of control.  Well, since its the holidays, he has gone into overdrive.  For the most part he has been pretty good and I haven't had to crate him when we leave the house.  Then all of a sudden on December 1st, he Freaked the F out.  Literally, I am not making up these numbers: he ate 5 plastic cans of cat food one day.  Then it was 6 packages of dog food.  The next day it was a package of Chips a Ahoy, some Saltines, and a failed attempt at Wyatt's juice boxes.  He figured out how to open our pantry, even through my various blockades.  Then he ate all our Christmas stocking chocolate.  And then puked all night.  5 pairs of my underwear.  These chocolate liquor bottles, he was particular to the Grand Marnier and Jack Daniels.  Then he was really puking.  Finally I dragged the crate back up.  This was all in a week.  It was Pup's 6 days of Christmas gorging.  Its always a nice feeling when you are already stressed and then have to come home to a house that is trashed.  Out. Of. Control.

My Christmas shopping started off really well.  Before Thanksgiving, I had already bought a bunch of stuff, mostly online.  Then Terry had Wyatt on Black Friday and I got a lot more done and then I stalled. Like didn't think about it at all.  I had piles of gifts in the basement and had totally forgot what they were.    I get to go shopping tomorrow.  Then Terry is taking Wy on Christmas Eve and I have 3 hours to wrap before I have to go to work from 1pm-8pm then 12-1:30am.  I am stressing out already.  I am pretty sure I am going to have to enlist my sisters to help me wrap, which I am sure they are going to be thrilled about.  It just makes me kind of sad because that is one of my favorite parts.  I LOVE listening to Christmas music, drinking eggnog, decorate presents to the 9's, and being a bonafied elf.  I guess theres always next year.

And I know that all of this craziness is going to be totally worth it.  I got some damn good gifts this year.  I love giving gifts that I know my friends and family are going to enjoy.  Wyatt is going to LOVE this Christmas.  I cannot wait to see his reaction to everything.  I just have to get there.

Christmas in Brooklyn

For all you readers in Brooklyn:

My cousin Michael (and Wyatt's Godfather) had moved churches and is now the Priest-in-Charge at The Church of St. Luke and St. Matthew in Brooklyn.  He is doing a kids Christmas service and asked me to post about it.

If interested, its on Christmas Eve at 5pm.  More details here.

Christmas Elf

34 Months

Goose,

After the abysmal attempt at making a Gingerbread house last year, I decided that we were going to give it our all.  (If you don't remember, you were impatient to decorate and we ended up rushing the process a bit.  The whole house collapsed about 5 minutes after we were finished.)  This year we waited for it to dry before decorating.  We made a trip to the store and bought all kinds of fabulous candy.  Gummy worms, jelly beans, Reeses Pieces (which I ate), Peanut Butter Cups, Peppermints.  The works.  I have to admit, you are very talented and very creative.  And this year our house sits proudly on your dresser.  You ask, almost, every morning when will it be time to eat it.  I don't think you can quite fathom that we wasted all that fabulous candy on a house that you don't eat.

When I found out I was pregnant, Gammy made a blanket statement that she didn't want any stuffed animals in the house.  This was due to years and years of trauma having 3 stuffed animal loving hoarders.  Then once we got Pup, all the lone stuffed animals became chew toys and eventually disappeared.   On your last day of school, your teachers gave you a lovely stuffed penguin as a gift.  You unwrapped it with such glee.  But once you got it out of the package you burst into tears.  "Its a Pup toy!!!  Where's MY toy??"  I finally got you to calm down after I explained that your teachers didn't know we have a stuffed toy destroyer and I am sure you will get a ton of more presents for Christmas.  And maybe some cars.  Or legos.  Or trucks.  Or puzzles.  I have left it in the car because I am sure it will start another round of hysterics when Pup starts ripping out the stuffing.

I have been pretty busy lately organizing this advent series at church based on Harry Potter.  Its called Wizards and Wonders and the kids have really been getting a kick out of it.  St. John's is so like Hogwarts already, we didn't have to do much.  I have been bringing you with me while I set up, then Gammy picks you up on her way home.  I was getting you ready to leave on Wednesday while explaining the game plan (you like to be informed).
"No thanks. I want to come with you."
"But sweetie, I think it might be a little boring for you.  You will have more fun staying home with Gammy."
"No thanks.  I want to be your big helper."
This went on for 5 minutes until I caved.  I wasn't too sure about your sparkling behavior.  Earlier in the day, I brought you with me to our staff lunch.  You did really great, falling asleep on my lap after finishing your mac and cheese, and I was positive my luck was going to run out.  But I figured that it was a children's program and that maybe the other kids would distract you enough to give me some room to work.  I am so glad I brought you.  Yes, you had a mild meltdown around 8:30 but that is to be expected so late.  You loved running around with the kids.  You even told me that I needed to sit at another table because, obviously, I was cramping your style during dinner when you were sitting next to this beautiful 6 year old girl, Leigh.  You were the youngest kid but kept pace with all the others.  Even holding hands around the tree, trying to sing Christmas carols.  When talking about our fears, you said you didn't have any because you were brave and that when we hold hands, you make me brave too.  (Tear....)  The next day when I was giving you a snack you said "God is great, God is good.  I-am."  I asked you to repeat that, which you did.  I tried to correct you on the "I-am" is Amen part but you are quite convinced its "I-am".  You said you learned it at the church.  Thats really "cool dude".  (As you would say.)

I love you everyday,
Mom

PS.....Its almost Christmas.  I CANNOT WAIT to see your face on Christmas morning.  I am so excited, I can hardly stand it.  All this crazy running around is so worth it.

O Christmas Tree

The Accident Incident

Wyatt has been trained since April.  Over the summer I tossed his overnight pull-ups.  He rarely has accidents.  I can probably count the times on one hand and usually they happen at night.  He'll wake up saying "Momma, I have to go potty" and he'll have already gone.  You really can't blame him for trying.  Sometimes there will be a small wet spot in his underwear because he waits till the very last second before rushing to the bathroom.  He holds it forever.  Kid's a camel.  But even that won't happen if you prompt him when he starts doing "the dance".

During the first month in school, on a Wednesday when I went to pick him up, he was soaked.  Drenched in pee down to his socks.  You could smell him 5 feet away.  I didn't think it was Wyatt at first, maybe some kid with a dirty diaper.  Most of the kids in his class aren't potty trained.   I told his teachers he is really good about telling you but sometimes you have to prompt him.  I wondered if it just happen.  That he got too busy and couldn't be bothered to stop playing.  I gathered him up in my arms and rushed him out.  I didn't say anything to his teachers.  I didn't want to embarrass Wyatt.  I didn't want him to think he did anything wrong.  I took him to my office to get him cleaned up.  (I still keep an extra set of clothes in his backpack.  If its not pee, its chocolate or dirt or water.  Better to be prepared.)  It wasn't until I got him undressed that I realized he was freezing.  He had peed a long time ago.

I was livid.  He had been sitting in his own pee for God knows how long.  Why didn't they change him?  If they didn't want to change him, why didn't they call me?  I am in the building, working, while Wyatt is at school.  Literally, 30 seconds away.  Hell, if they let him out of the classroom he would know where to find me unassisted.  The only answer I could give myself is there are too many kids in his class; 17 kids to 3 teachers.  They missed him.  He's not a crier so he doesn't get noticed.  I was so upset.  I called Terry, Mom, Jen, Becca to find out if I was over reacting or the conclusion I had draw seemed accurate.  They all agreed I would have to talk with his teachers.

I went early on Friday; to catch them before all the other kids and parents arrived.  I explained that I was unhappy with something that happened.  I told them that I wasn't upset that Wyatt had an accident.  I almost expected a few with the transition but that he sat wet for some time.  They said I shouldn't be upset, that accidents happen.  No matter how hard I tried to explain myself, they just didn't seem to understand.  I left the room bewildered.  I didn't know how to explain it any clearer.  I went to work.  I thought all day about making a second attempt on how to spell it out.  Its hard to tell someone you don't think they are doing their job.  I ran into the director of the program in the basement.  I wasn't going to mention anything to her.  She said she had heard I was unhappy.  I explained again.  She confirmed that was a valid concern and didn't think his teachers understood.

When I went to pick him up, all of his teachers came over to apologized.  They said that he is such a great kid and always asks for anything he needs and that they were sorry they didn't notice.  I asked that they remind him to go once a day until we're confident that he'll remember on his own.  In the following days, they said they asked but he never needed to go.  They thought maybe he had some kind of fear of the potty at school.  Which I thought was weird.  I had taken him there before and he pretty much goes anywhere, no problem.  I talked to Wyatt about it and he responded with "I'll remember.  Don't worry Momma."  No joke.

He hasn't had another accident since.  And I think they have stopped prompting him.  One of his teachers ran over to me on pick up a few weeks later, so excited that he came and asked to go potty.  I told Wyatt I was proud of him for remembering.  When I asked him for his daily highlights, he didn't mention it.  Colored play-doh and cherry pickers were much more interesting.  It was a non-issue for him.  He forgot that one time. The whole incident taught me that it was clearly something that bothered me much more then it bothered Wyatt.

On the Road Less Traveled

Wy's First School Photo

The Great Destructor

I haven't mentioned our four legged family member in a while and I am sure you are dying for an update.  He is settling in quite nicely although we are noticing a lot of neurotic tendencies.  This dog is OUT OF HIS MIND.  I have my theories about why he is such a neurotic dog.  Maybe he was separated too early from his mother.  Maybe the puppy place didn't treat him so well.  Maybe he ate some poisoned dog food. Maybe he just lost too many brain cells.  I'm not sure but whatever the reason, something is not all there. Here's the proof:

1. He will eat anything.  I when I say anything, I mean everything.  Steak, mac and cheese, lasagna, and then not so normal stuff like carrots, cardboard, stale bread thrown in the backyard for the birds, blankets, underwear, sticks and Wyatt's toys.  I actually took a video of Pup jumping on the arm of a chair to take a carrot out of a bowl.  I got a box of chocolates for Dad's birthday and left them on the kitchen table.  We passed each other on the road, less then 1 minute way from the house.  Pup ate the entire box then puked for the rest of the night.

2. Along with the eating comes the begging.  He is  CONSTANTLY begging.  Inching closer and closer to the food source until he is literally on top of you watching you eat like a tennis match.  He chases Wyatt around the house jumping after whatever Wyatt is holding in his hand.  He attacks Wyatt when he gets down from the table, licking his pants, hands, shirt, and wherever else food has landed.  Mom decided that he just needed to be fed more and he is not only still begging but now he's fat.

3. Thats all fairly normal I guess but in addition to his food fetishes, he needs to be very close to you all the time.  Like living on Mom's lap and when sleeping on the bed he inches closer and closer until he is on a pillow breathing into your face.  When I am playing on the floor with Wyatt, he has to sit on the legos or puzzle pieces.  When he's sleeping on the couch while I am watching TV and he will get up to come to the bathroom with me.  He waits outside the bathroom door while mom or I are showering.  I can't quite do this justice because it is really something you have to see to believe.

4.  He is abysmal at walking on his leash.  Just the sight of Wyatt putting on his shoes or jacket sends the dog into hysterics.  He runs and barks and barks and barks.  Oh God the barking.  And after the barking its the running around everything he can find; tangling his leash and himself around trees, lamp posts, or parking signs.  Its a nightmare.  You would think he would get better the more walks he went on (we tried this theory; a walk everyday and running around with the neighborhood kids in the afternoon) but no, he got worse.  And he pulls, like ripping your arm out of its socket pulls.  The worst is when he runs around Wyatt and tangles his legs.  They don't make a leash short enough for this dog.  If they did, I would buy it.

Wy and Pup in my laundry.

5. He has an insatiable need to lay in the clean, hot laundry.  Need I say more.

6. He has a sick fascination with our cat, Delilah.  He chases the poor thing all over the house.  But she has learned, the coy little cat.  She taunts him.  She will sit perfectly still as he charges for her.  Then he chickens out and stops, as he is usually met with her sharp claws, absolutely dumbfounded on why she isn't moving.  Then she usually starts rubbing all over him while purring.  It drives him crazy and sets him barking and running in circles sliding on the kitchen floor.  Their love/hate relationship is hysterical to watch.  Delilah likes to hang out on the porch roof.  One early morning, while Delilah was casually sunning herself, Pup caught a glimpse and decided to jump through the slightly open window.  6 in the morning Pup and Delilah running circles on our roof, Mom yelling for Pup to come inside, for all the casual dog walkers to see. I would have paid good money to see that.

Pup Garbage Destruction

7. I bought this dress for my 10 year reunion.  I LOVE this dress.  I gingerly took it out of the box and spread it out on the floor to admire it.  Pup ran over, sat on it, then started to drag his butt on it.  Really!?! Do I have to say more?

Most of the time its endearing.  I guess you could say he fits right in with the family.  Bear was a neurotic dog as well but she was also a REALLY good dog.  Pup (I am praying) is still in his mischievous puppy years and will eventually grow into a really good neurotic dog.  When I was in college I bought a fighting fish that looked like he was the loser in about 1400 fights.  No one could understand why I would buy a fighting fish that had all its fins bitten off.  But I did.  Just because I didn't think anyone else would.  Maybe I saw some of that in Pup too.  That we needed to save him.  And besides aren't we all just a little neurotic.  When he's not eating the garbage or my underwear he really is very sweet.

The Sheriff

33 Months

My Love,

You are the big man at pre-school and it is the cutest thing on the planet.  Your teachers call you and three other boys "The Inseparables."  Hugh, Charlie, Chase, and Wyatt.  You play together on the playground boat everyday.  When we walked in the other day Charlie was sitting on Mrs. Schwalb's lap, when he saw you he called "There's Wyatt!" Then jumped down and ran over to you.  Mrs. Schwalb said that Charlie was upset when he walked in and you weren't there yet.  It is so comforting to know that you have surrounded yourself with friends and love going to school so much.  I am 100% positive that you have fun every time you go.  I know that not everyone sticks with their pre-school friends but I have and I hope the same for you.

We received this lovely Target toy catalog which has become your new favorite book.  You love reading it on the toilet for hours.  No, thats an exaggeration.  More like 30-45 minutes.  You sit there on your throne (after usually going in the first 5 minutes), going over each page.  You want Santa to bring you EVERY SINGLE toy in that catalog.  And for some reason you actually think thats going to happen.  I told you that Santa only brings a few toys if you are really good then Gammy, Auntie B, Dada, and the rest of the family will get you something.  But you are adamant that he will bring you everything.  We chatted for a while about how Christmas is not about getting gifts, it is about giving gifts and showing people you love them.  You said you would buy me a beautiful shirt, just what I always wanted.

I was putting you to bed the other night (you were in a million question mood which happens quite often and is absolutely my most favorite time of day) and asked me "Gammy is going to sleep with Pa?" A pretty intuitive question for a 2 year old and one that I was mildly stumped by.  I went with the first answer I could think of which I knew was going to lead to more questions.
"Well, Gammy and Pa are married."
"What is married?"
"When two people love each other sometimes they get married.  They live together and make a home.  Sometimes they have children and they have dinner together and care for each other.  They're a family."
"Are we married?"
"No Bud.  We're not married.  But we are a family and I do love you very very much."
OK, so you have to agree that you are the sweetest little boy on the planet.  And I am sure you can see how it would be confusing.

You are started showing interest in having your own bed.  You picked out a quilt set that is actually really cute and that you will be getting for Christmas.  I think I am going to re-do the whole bedroom upstairs for you.  I am not sure it is going to work but if you are interested I feel like I have to give it a try.  It is bittersweet for me.  When you first joined my bed, I knew it was going to be hard to get you out but I also knew it was a temporary situation.  A 7 year old is not going to want to sleep in his mothers bed.  Selfishly, I enjoy having you with me at night.  I still wake up and listen to you breathe and talk in your sleep. Last night you woke up from a bad dream and yelled for me that there were snakes in the bed.  And I was right there so you just snuggled back into me and were back asleep in a heartbeat.  It is nice to be able to provide that kind of comfort for you.  Its something that I will not always be able to do.  I know it is not right for all families but having you in my bed was wonderful.  I wouldn't have given it up for the world and I will be sad to see you go.  But you must know you will always have a warm spot right next to me no matter where you go or when you get there.

I love you everyday,
Momma

The Winter White is Coming!

Wyatt had to try on every hat to make sure it fit for the winter.  We got this electric fire place thing at the St. John's fair.  It looks comically fake but some how makes the living room feel warmer.  It was an excellent find.

The Dump Truck

In September, I bought this incredibly well made, hand crafted, cowboy costume from the St. John's Fair.  It had real suede chaps and a little vest.  I had planned for Wyatt to go as Woody and I would be Jessie (probably trying to get Pup to be Bullseye) from Toy Story.  I showed Wyatt the costume and he seemed OK with the whole idea.  I patted myself on the back and crossed Halloween costume off my list.  Then about 3 weeks ago, while explaining the logistics of Halloween, I asked him if he was excited to be cowboy Woody.  He looked at me kind of puzzled then responded with "I want to be a dump truck."  "A dump tuck?!?"  "A dump truck."  And it was settled.  He wanted to be a dump truck and I could throw the Woody costume out the window.

Looking at pumpkin guts.

I tried not the think about it, hoping he would change his mind.  But he didn't.  Everytime someone asked him, he was being a dump truck, which got rather funny looks from other parents.  Then I asked him what color dump truck he want to be.  "Pink."  A Pink Dump Truck.  OK, I though, this is going to be interesting.  Honestly, he could be a tye-dyed dump truck for all I cared.  I guess I was just waiting for him to change his mind on the costume.  Toddlers change their minds so often I didn't want to dive into making it just for him to change his mind 10 seconds later.  So, I waited some more.  It was a pink dump truck for about a week.  Then it was a purple one for a few days.  Then he settled on yellow and I was running out of time.  But he was unwaivering.  He wanted to be a dump truck.  I brainstormed with Gammy for a bit, established a game plan, and decided to give it a go.

We thought a box with suspenders would be the easiest.   Then he could be a construction worker driving a dump truck.  Once the box and lots of yellow poster board was purchased, Gammy and I got to work.  Of course, once our creative juices started flowing we had to out-do each other.  Gammy found this aluminum roasting pan to create a bumper.  I decided I needed to photoshop a NY license plate that Gammy brilliantly thought should read DUMP4U.   Then Gammy took a pink (!!) toy sand sifter to bolt to the box as a working steering wheel.  Then I picked up some tap lights for some working headlights.  It really took on a life of its own.  Lizzy thought we were a little obsessed with it.  Wyatt was extremely excited once it was finished enough for him to run around the house in.

Wyatt winning his trophy!

On Friday, there was a costume contest at a local church.  Wyatt was so excited to show off his costume.  And honestly, I was going to be pretty disappointed if he didn't win something.  But the thing was, Wyatt was SELLING this costume.  He thought it was awesome, driving this truck around, turning the headlights on and off.  There was another little boy as a matchbox car, whose costume was much better constructed, and while up on the judging stage they were driving around together.  When he didn't want to wear it anymore he parked it in the corner.  All the other kids quietly whispered what they were into the microphone and Wyatt proclaimed his dump truck costume loud and proud.  He won first place amongst the preschool kids.  Both of us were thrilled.  Wyatt proudly displayed his trophy on the coffee table and is still talked about it.  I have no idea how we are going to outdo ourselves next year or what Wyatt will dream up next.

Dump4U - Details to follow...

Halloween Prep

The Happy Couple

Michael and Joanna got married last week.  It was a small ceremony, and by small I mean parents and witnesses.  After dinner they invited some family and a few friends to celebrate at a bar in NYC.  Since Michael is a Priest they plan to doing a blessing ceremony with the Bishop sometime in the spring.  I was really proud of them for making their wedding about them.  I feel like weddings and sweet 16's and parties in general are becoming more about the pressure to have a big party rather then the gut feeling of who is throwing it.  It was really nice to see Michael and Jo do exact what they wanted without making excuses or apologies.

Of course, at the bar, I was watching them.  They were so happy, like radiating happy, (and forsaking all things sappy) radiating love.  Joanna wore this black strapless dress with trophies and blue ribbons all over it because she was a "Trophy Wife".  I have no idea where she got it but it was quite hysterical.  And Michael had a pocket square to match his suit and her shoes.  It was like they were magnetically attached.   Even if they were back to back, Jo's hand would reach out to find Michael's.  Michael was staring at her all night.  When they weren't attached Michael would sit and watch Jo move.  It is rare to see Michael so engrossed in thought, so contemplative, and so utterly at peace.  It made the gesture all the more astounding.  It makes me well up thinking of someone loving you so much they just want to watch the way you move.

I hate to make this all egotistical.  I am so happy for them but I am just a little sad and mopey for me.  Not that their married, no.  It was seeing a couple so happy just made this hollow pit in my stomach ache as I realized I might never have that.  (It is so obnoxious that I am making this about me.  I have never mentioned these feeling to anyone and now I am touting them on my blog.  Eh) I can feel myself becoming that bitter, lonely, desperate, love-less person and I hate it.  It is getting harder and harder for me to believe in a happy ending.  Maybe I will never find a person that I want to marry.  Sometimes I am ok with that and other times it just makes me sad and lonely thinking I might never find someone to share my life with.  I told someone the other day that I was saving up for a down payment on a house because I can't wait for a mythical fairy prince to sweep me off my feet and make a home with me.  How hopelessly realistic and bitter is that?  It makes me cringe but that is the honest to God place I am at right now.

I am not fishing for compliments or searching for a date.  I just needed to vent a little.  My situation seems a little bleak at the moment.  I don't really have time or motivation to invest in dating.  And it is super unrealistic to think that the man of my dreams is going to knock on my door or drive by on a tractor.  And it would take a pretty selfless man to willingly accept position number 2 on my priority list when Wyatt is so clearly NUMBER ONE (in caps because this is where he will remain and reign).  I keep on reminding myself to be patient and positive but it is just so damn hard sometimes.  Someone recommended that I read Meeting Your Half-Orange.  But the thought of reading a dating/self-help book is making me more depressed instead of optimistic.  Maybe I will give it a try.  If anything it might help to learn how to keep the jaded bitterness out of voice.

The Colors of the Wind

I was in the kitchen making lunch.  Then I realized I was talking to myself and the entire house was quiet.  I found Wyatt sitting on the stairs experimenting with my eyeshadow.  The pictures don't really do it justice.  He was COVED.  Then we laughed and laughed and laughed.

Summer Re-cap

 Just one of the guys.

Trying to stay cool.  I love Pup's strategic pose.

Playing pretend doggies with our Aussie cousin Isabel.

Running through the fields of Calicoon. 

Summer....we'll miss you.  Come back soon.