The Great Destructor

I haven't mentioned our four legged family member in a while and I am sure you are dying for an update.  He is settling in quite nicely although we are noticing a lot of neurotic tendencies.  This dog is OUT OF HIS MIND.  I have my theories about why he is such a neurotic dog.  Maybe he was separated too early from his mother.  Maybe the puppy place didn't treat him so well.  Maybe he ate some poisoned dog food. Maybe he just lost too many brain cells.  I'm not sure but whatever the reason, something is not all there. Here's the proof:

1. He will eat anything.  I when I say anything, I mean everything.  Steak, mac and cheese, lasagna, and then not so normal stuff like carrots, cardboard, stale bread thrown in the backyard for the birds, blankets, underwear, sticks and Wyatt's toys.  I actually took a video of Pup jumping on the arm of a chair to take a carrot out of a bowl.  I got a box of chocolates for Dad's birthday and left them on the kitchen table.  We passed each other on the road, less then 1 minute way from the house.  Pup ate the entire box then puked for the rest of the night.

2. Along with the eating comes the begging.  He is  CONSTANTLY begging.  Inching closer and closer to the food source until he is literally on top of you watching you eat like a tennis match.  He chases Wyatt around the house jumping after whatever Wyatt is holding in his hand.  He attacks Wyatt when he gets down from the table, licking his pants, hands, shirt, and wherever else food has landed.  Mom decided that he just needed to be fed more and he is not only still begging but now he's fat.

3. Thats all fairly normal I guess but in addition to his food fetishes, he needs to be very close to you all the time.  Like living on Mom's lap and when sleeping on the bed he inches closer and closer until he is on a pillow breathing into your face.  When I am playing on the floor with Wyatt, he has to sit on the legos or puzzle pieces.  When he's sleeping on the couch while I am watching TV and he will get up to come to the bathroom with me.  He waits outside the bathroom door while mom or I are showering.  I can't quite do this justice because it is really something you have to see to believe.

4.  He is abysmal at walking on his leash.  Just the sight of Wyatt putting on his shoes or jacket sends the dog into hysterics.  He runs and barks and barks and barks.  Oh God the barking.  And after the barking its the running around everything he can find; tangling his leash and himself around trees, lamp posts, or parking signs.  Its a nightmare.  You would think he would get better the more walks he went on (we tried this theory; a walk everyday and running around with the neighborhood kids in the afternoon) but no, he got worse.  And he pulls, like ripping your arm out of its socket pulls.  The worst is when he runs around Wyatt and tangles his legs.  They don't make a leash short enough for this dog.  If they did, I would buy it.

Wy and Pup in my laundry.

5. He has an insatiable need to lay in the clean, hot laundry.  Need I say more.

6. He has a sick fascination with our cat, Delilah.  He chases the poor thing all over the house.  But she has learned, the coy little cat.  She taunts him.  She will sit perfectly still as he charges for her.  Then he chickens out and stops, as he is usually met with her sharp claws, absolutely dumbfounded on why she isn't moving.  Then she usually starts rubbing all over him while purring.  It drives him crazy and sets him barking and running in circles sliding on the kitchen floor.  Their love/hate relationship is hysterical to watch.  Delilah likes to hang out on the porch roof.  One early morning, while Delilah was casually sunning herself, Pup caught a glimpse and decided to jump through the slightly open window.  6 in the morning Pup and Delilah running circles on our roof, Mom yelling for Pup to come inside, for all the casual dog walkers to see. I would have paid good money to see that.

Pup Garbage Destruction

7. I bought this dress for my 10 year reunion.  I LOVE this dress.  I gingerly took it out of the box and spread it out on the floor to admire it.  Pup ran over, sat on it, then started to drag his butt on it.  Really!?! Do I have to say more?

Most of the time its endearing.  I guess you could say he fits right in with the family.  Bear was a neurotic dog as well but she was also a REALLY good dog.  Pup (I am praying) is still in his mischievous puppy years and will eventually grow into a really good neurotic dog.  When I was in college I bought a fighting fish that looked like he was the loser in about 1400 fights.  No one could understand why I would buy a fighting fish that had all its fins bitten off.  But I did.  Just because I didn't think anyone else would.  Maybe I saw some of that in Pup too.  That we needed to save him.  And besides aren't we all just a little neurotic.  When he's not eating the garbage or my underwear he really is very sweet.