Merry Christmas

Christmas was everything I expected it to be and more.  My family was definitely more excited about the holiday then Wyatt but our excitement was contagious.  By Christmas morning Wyatt was all riled up and ready to roll in wrapping paper.  He did very well opening presents, playing with the paper more then any of his toys but totally grasping the concept of there is something fun in the paper.  He still has about 4 presents left under the tree.  Why overwhelm him, right?  We can have Christmas all week long.  I definitely went overboard and bought way too much but that is what first Christmas's are all about.

I had to work all day Christmas Eve.  Seeing that I now work for a church its kind of a busy holiday.  The family met me at 6 for the service.  Wyatt was very well behaved and most of the people around us complimented him on his cuteness and loved that he clapped when the choir sang.  I had a mandatory stash of cherrios and he would take one for himself then give one to Auntie B, then me, then would reach into the pew behind us.  He is a good sharer for an only child.  It was really very cute.  I took him up to Communion (he doesn't receive just gets blessed) which always gets me a bit teary eyed.  Father Michael and Father Simon, aka my new bosses, gave him the nicest Christmas blessing.  Then I proceeded to choke back tears for the next 10 minutes. 

My favorite Christmas present did not come in the traditional wrapping paper and bow.  My little munchkin started saying "Mama".  If I leave the room he runs after me shouting "Mum Mum".  When I walk to his crib after his nap that is the first thing he says when he sees me.  It is the most amazing thing, melting my heart every time.  He also has been saying it to Gammy which is not surprising because I call her Mom.  His vocabulary has really started to develop and all of a sudden.  I can't wait to see what word he come up with next.

Our Red Head

The Next Chapter

In a strange turn of events, I got a job.  Yes, you read that right.  It really seems to be the perfect opportunity for me in many ways and I am super excited about this next step in my life. I wasn't looking for a job but I said if I found something part-time, flexible, and local it might work for me.  This is all three and only 19 hours a week plus there is enough room for a playpen in my office.  I started work as the new Sexton at St. John's Church on Thursday and so far it is going very well. 

I don't know which is more surprising, the fact that I am working for a church or that my title has the word sex in it.  On Sunday, the Priest in Charge announced me to the congregation.  As I stood up on the alter, Father Simon's arm around me praying, all I kept on thinking was how did I get this job being the heathen that I am.  I guess I didn't put that on my resume.  From what I understand from my two days of work so far, I am responsible for organizing contractors for the buildings and grounds and on Sundays working as a kind of stage manager for the services.  So I guess its pretty fitting.  

I have brought Wyatt with me twice already and his charm makes him a mascot with the congregation.  There is a nursery off the offices downstairs and also a nursery school (with a two year room, YEAH!) on the premise.   I had him strapped to me for a while this morning while I finished up some things.  Then I let him run free for a bit and we played hide and seek in between pews and kneelers.  I wish I had my camera.  At one point he crawled up to the alter and was staring at the stain glass above his head.  The light was a perfect.  I have to remember to carry my camera always from now on.  I am just so thrilled with everything that I have been to the church everyday since being hired.  This really could be the beginning of something great.

Fresh Air!!!

O Christmas Tree

The night before Christmas Tree cutting it was snowing when I went to bed.  It took me a while to fall asleep with the anticipation swirling in my head.  Funny thing is most the time the day is uneventful.  We drive, we search, we cut, we eat, and drive home.  But for some reason it is one of my favorite adventures.  I have come to believe that tree cutting symbolizes the beginning of the Christmas season.  It is when Christmas music becomes acceptable, shopping begins, and the smell of balsam fills our home.  Its like the prologue to all the anticipation, love, and warmth of the season.

We decided, after much debate, that the easiest way to get Wyatt up the mountain with the snow was by a little sled that I bought at the Fair at St. John's.  Considering that the stroller would not fit in the car and the backpack carrier did not fit my torso it was about the only option we had.  It was a sad realization that we might not all fit in the same car.  Dare we regress to a minivan?!  Oh, the horror!  Mom's Toyota has a third row of seats that only a chipmunk could fit in comfortably.  So, naturally the honor went to Lizzy.  Rebecca and I made a Wyatt sandwich and we were off.

The sled worked like a charm with Wy bundled in his snowsuit and perfect boots. He was fascinated with the snow and barely moved the entire sleigh ride.  Although that might have been because he couldn't move he was so bundled reminiscent of the boy in "The Christmas Story".  It was quite frigid so we were up, cut and down very quickly.  3 trees in all this year.  It was hard work pulling him up but even trickery work pulling him down.  I was afraid that I was going to loose control at any minute which resulted in me pretty much on my hands and knees guiding the sled down.  I swear he was the cutest bundle on the mountain.

Another nice surprise was my friend Kelly met us for the festivities. She lives about 20 minutes from where we cut trees so it was a no brainer.  I ruminated about how all our families will carry on the tradition in later years.  Of course during lunch Wyatt decided to take the funkiest poo imaginable.  I couldn't change him in the car because there was no room and the restaurants bathroom was out of order.  I carried him and supplies to Dunkin' Donuts praying for a changing table.  But, alas, none to be found.  So, true McGiver style I laid down a blanket and changed him on the floor then promptly Purell'd both of us.  A first for everything.  And of course the Winery ran out of my favorite wine, Raspberry Rhapsody.  Last year I bought a bottle specifically for after I gave birth coined "My Birthing Wine" I love it so much.  I had to settle for the strawberry this year.  So, I guess it was mildly eventful and another success.

Baby, It's Cold Outside

10 Months

Bugs,

The holiday season has got you all wrapped up in lights.  You are fascinated with our icicle lights on the front porch.  Gammy takes you out to see them every day and seeing you gasp with delight will never get old.  During the first snowfall she ran out and got you some in a cup.  You looked from the cup then to Gammy several times before promptly grabbing a handful and putting it to your mouth.  Everything holiday related we call "ho ho ho" to see if you will catch on and say it for Christmas.  Even our tree, still bailed, propped against our window is of great curiosity.  Wait until we put it up!  Last year I spent many hours dreaming about this Christmas and it is so much more then I ever anticipated already.

Your vocabulary has expanded slightly.  You have "hi" down and now you have added "hot".  When I stand next to the tea kettle waiting for your bottle to heat you repeat "hot, hot, hot" is this small breathy way.  Then look up at me pride glowing on your face.  Every morning we wave bye bye to Grandpa at the front door and no matter where you are in the house when he comes home at night you run to him.  You both have a love affair going on.  You are happy when I get home from work but you are ecstatic when Grandpa comes home.  You barely leave his arms until I put you to bed.

I am starting to think that you are left handed.  Dad and Grandpa are lefties so it is a possibility.  You are being much more confidant walking on your own but when you need to get somewhere fast it is easier for you to hold my hand.  You hold on with your right and explore the world with your left.  Your seem to find the heaviest toy you own and try to carry it around the house.  When Gammy took you for a walk you threw a ball at a dog you stopped to explore.  I took you to the puppy place we got Bear as your reward for being an angel while I was Christmas shopping.  I found this tiny, fluffy, white maltipoo and brought him to your chest.  You squealed with delight has he licked your fingers and wagged his tiny tail.  We are definitely getting you a pound dog for the summer.  Grandpa said he would kick us out if I brought home a dog but I think he's bluffing.  He loves you too much.

You are so curious and adventurous right now.  It is entirely fascinating to watch.  Plastic cups, the net laundry hamper, a box of tissues, my laptop charger (as pictured) or your breath fogging the front door will occupy you for at least 10 minutes.  I am looking at our house with revisionist eyes.  Watching out for ordinary objects that you may find fascinating.  Auntie B is great at this.  When we were at her apartment last week she pulled out tupperware and checkers that were quickly scattered all over.  My favorite thing ever is when you start laughing in anticipation of someone playing with you.  You will start crawling out of the room we are in and I will let you get a little ways before starting to yell "Hey, get back here".  Then as I thump the floor to begin the chase you try to crawl faster but your arms and legs can never move as fast as you want them to.  You get all tangled up, then give up and bury your head in the floor, laughing and waiting until I get to you.  Once I get there you start laughing so hard I have to wait so you can catch your breath.  My face actually hurts from writing this I am smiling so much.

I love you everyday.

Mama  

Does this Mean He's a Toddler?!?

I have gotten Wyatt to walk several times since his initial first steps but have yet to capture it on video.  We got it tonight by taunting him with my laptop.  So exciting!!

Bed Hopping

I am in trouble.  I am, for sure, starting very bad habits that I seem to be unable to stop.  Wyatt always starts the night off in his crib.  Usually, around 3 or 4am he wakes up having peed through everything.  There is no diaper that could possibly contain all of his night time peeing.  I have tried different brands, different absorbencies, everything and I have given up.  I get him changed and sit to rock him back to sleep.  Sometimes this works and he will be back to sleep in a half hour.  Most of the time it doesn't and that is when my weakness prevails.

After rocking for a good half hour, I start getting very tired.  My eyelid start to droop and I slide lower and lower in the rocking chair.  I try to stay focus frightened that I will fall asleep with Wy in my arms and drop him.  I watch the clock and give myself time lines.  When the clock hits 3:30 or in another 10 minutes.  Then I move him to his crib.  I will just get back in bed, cozy and comfortable, to hear him rustling then grabbing the bars to struggle to stand.  Sometimes I try to rock him some more if I am wide wake and have nothing to do the next day.  But most often I carry him to Mommy's Big Bed and tuck him close next to me where he sleeps like a baby, which we all know doesn't happen often.

I try.  I really really do. I sleep better with him in his crib.  When he is next to me I worry constantly about rolling over on him so I rarely get to a deep sleep.  He is a huge bed hog for a little boy.  He kicks me continuously.  I will rock him for hours then give him 5 minutes next to me in bed and he's out.  I know it is a very bad habit but sometimes I am just so very tired that I can't help it.  In the middle of the night all I can think about is the multitude of things I have the accomplish the next day and how 4 hours of sleep will not allow me to function.  I honestly do not know how to break this vicious cycle.

I have been reading a Dr. Ferber book for about two months.  I have thought about letting him cry it out but I don't think I have it in me.  Even if I did, I am sure that he would wake the house up and someone else would come running to his rescue.  I have thought about moving to the couch when he gets loud so I can ignore him through the monitor but then I remember how cold the couch is.  Yes, I admit, I do enjoy waking up next to him.  I leisurely get us out of bed after telling him a story or playing a game of high five.  But that is never the reason why I put him in my bed in the first place.  I am having a lot of trouble with this.  I am afraid that I am creating a lasting habit and it will be even harder to get him out of my bed later.  But seriously what am I suppose to do?  I just can't rock him for 2 hours every night.   

From the Mac

My thoughts...

Drum roll please...Wyatt took his first unaided steps today!  He has been walking holding onto my fingers for about a month but recently he has been letting go.  He will drop my hands to bend down and grab a toy.  He will stand holding onto the couch then turn and sit on the floor. So, we decided to try to get him to walk.  Mom sat on one side of the room and me on the other with Dad sitting ready with the video camera.  Lo and behold, he took about 5 steps on his own then sat down.  I got him up again and he took about another 7 steps to get at the video camera.  We were all screaming and hollering.  I swear I have never seen something so exciting.  Literally, Brad Pitt could have walked through my front door and exclaim he's leaving Angie and wants to be with me forever and my reaction would have been the same.

I am listening to Christmas music on repeat and have been for about three weeks now.  I know, I know jumping the season a little bit but I am totally obsessed with Christmas music.  Something about Bing Crosby's creamy velvet baritone makes me all warm inside and giddy to wrap presents.  And Mariah Carey's vibrato makes me hopeful for a season filled with love.  It's an addiction really.  I have sang "O Holy Night" to Wyatt so many times now that I think even he is getting bored.  I admit I listen to Christmas music all year round but nows the time I can do it unashamed.  There are even radio stations dedicated to holiday music.  Oh, the Joy of the Season!!

At Wyatt's last doctors appointment, Dr. Greg asked me if Wyatt was saying "Bye Bye" or "DaDa" in context.  Well, he's not really and now I am panicked that is he behind the curve although I know he's not because Dr. Greg said it was fine.  He is very vocal but sometimes he gets things and sometimes he doesn't.  I cannot make him say "Hi" on command but introduce a nice old lady in the supermarket and he will say "Hi" to everyone he passes.  But he doesn't say any of the normal baby words.  He waves but refuses to say "bye bye".  If you ask him where the light is he looks up and I swear he said "ite" the other day.  He also says something that sounds like "taht" and "dit" which means something to him because he says it all the time but not in the rambling way.  I am pretty sure he has got "cat" down too.  I know I need to stop worrying about it because he does speak but until I get him to say "bye bye" it is going to weigh on me.  Arg...

We are going Christmas tree cutting on Sunday.  Honestly, this is perhaps my favorite day of the holiday season.  We go to Jones Tree Farm and climb the "mountain" (its really a big hill) to find our perfect tree.  I have many memories tree cutting with friends and family and I am eager to pass that tradition to Wyatt.  I purchased a snowsuit and boots and upgraded ourselves to a back pack carrier to get him ready for the trip .  The front loading carrier I have goes up to 22lbs but it's kind of a stretch for Wyatt to get into and for me to carry.  It took me a long time to find a back pack that wasn't industrial capacity for hiking.  Honestly, most of them turned into a highchair or a tent and were much too extravagant for my needs.  I really hope the weather is nice so we can have our mega adventure.  Post and pictures to come for sure.

Alfalfa Sprout

One of My Many Thanks

My parents have always been firm believers in assisting us realize our dreams. They are our permenant cheerleaders and can always be counted on to lend a helping hand. When I learned of my pregnancy, they dove in with me, understanding the diffult road ahead, and doing anything in their power to assist. My mom would listen to me for hours talking about the type of mom I thought I would be without once mentioning the reality of how having children changes your perceptions.  She never lectured or criticized me for being naive.  She was there as a support while still allowing me to have self discoveries.  My dad could have kicked me out of the house, disowned me, but instead he offered me a place to stay.  But I think they also maintain a balance to allow us to cultivate our own independence.

I have to admit I was very nervous moving back home.  I came home after South Carolina to gather my thoughts but never intended on staying.  Before I found out I was pregnant, I was offered a position at the Habitat in New Orleans that I was very exciting about accepting.  Then plans shifted.  I have always gotten along great with my parents but once I tasted independence and self reliance it was hard for me to come home, even for holidays.  My apartment was exactly how I liked it. If I put a glass down it would stay there until I picked it up again.  It doesn't happen like that at home, for good or bad.  I am still independent in a lot of ways but at home I get lazy knowing that someone else will take care of the cleaning, cooking, or even picking up.  I help out as much as I can but sometimes it just doesn't feel like I am pulling my weight.

However, I never quite fully understood how much help my parents would be.  I can't imagine moving out.  I would be lonely.  Wyatt adores his Gammy and Grandpa, lighting up when they walk through the door.  I think he would be bored with just me all the time.  When mom gets home at 5 she takes him for a while to allow me to breathe for a minute or if she can't dad will.  That breathe allows me to refuel, to tune out for a second, and gain perspective.  I don't know what I would do if I didn't get that opportunity every day. Don't get me wrong, Wyatt is an amazing baby and very easy to entertain but he's time consuming.

Wyatt was doing very well with sleeping through the night.  Finally!!  I got a little more me time at the end of the day.  He would go to sleep at 8 and me at 10 knowing that I would be sleeping till at least 7am.  Lately, he has reverted back to his poor sleep habits.  Waking for an hour then sleeping for an hour almost all night.  He already has 4 top teeth and 2 bottom teeth but maybe he is getting more.  I'm not sure the cause but it is driving me up the wall.  Last night I phoned a friend, aka mom, with one word "Help!"  She sat, rocking him, for almost an hour because my patience meter was at a negative 87.  Their help is completely vital to my survival as a single mom.  Without them I think I would be a stressed, testy, and agitated mom.  They allow me to be a better mom. Seriously, I am never moving out.

Yes We Did

I am still on a cloud of euphoria about Obama's election.  Every time I see him I get this unbelievable urge to do cartwheels.  I have watched his acceptance speech about 3 times, each and every time getting moved to tears and all choked up.  When he speaks, there is always this underlying current of motivation, inspiration, and call to action.  I truly hope that is one of the things he carries with him to the Presidency; his power to motivate. Because he is just the beginning of the long road to change.  

I have to admit I have become slightly obsessed.  Everyday I check to see if he has announced another cabinet member.  I don't know most of Bush's cabinet.  Every headline containing his name draws my undivided attention.  I hope that I can maintain this passion rather then let it fizzle with passing years as I have done with past elections.  I want to be more involved but don't really know how so I figure the more informed I am the better.  But I want to do more than just be informed.  I want to make a concrete attempt to remain passionate and invested in my country.  I am thinking of looking into some volunteer experiences for Wyatt and I to do together.  He is too young for Habitat but maybe dog walking at a shelter.

I feel that the present administration has been one of fear.  Fear that we will be attacked by an unknown terrorist.  Fear that foreign countries are hiding weapons.  Fear that our government will take away our civil liberties.  Fear that we will lose our homes.  Fear that seeps into our daily lives, breeding paranoia, and paralyzing any desire to speak out.  Obama's campaign shined a beacon of hope; a ray of light that things will get better.  I would like to believe that there is truth in the passion he has inspired rather then some genus marketing ploy that played on the publics optimism.  I want to do better, be better.  That is what I believe makes America so great.  It is the possibility, the optimism, and the generous, loving, giving nature of our people.  (Before anyone gets uproarious about that picture, let me explain: on Nov. 4th someone stole our Obama sign and this was our feeble attempt to maintain our Obama Pride.)

Wyatt, my love, this election year was an eye opening, monumental experience for me in many ways most of which stemmed from having you. But what I would like you to learn from this election, in particular, is the notion Obama expressed in his victory speech.  "That the true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals - democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope."  I want to teach you about love and compassion.  I want to teach you that there are always several sides to every story.  I want to teach you about all religions and then let you choose for yourself what you want to believe.  I want to teach you that there is power in knowledge, but even more power in reaching out and loving other people, people who might be very different than you.  I want to teach you that you can make a difference and that your voice does matter.  I want to teach you that life is about relationships and friends and giving everything you've got.  "The fundamental truth that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope; and where we are met with cynicism and doubt and those who tell us we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can."

Bruiser on the Move

Adventures of an Explorer

Ralph, Ice Pops, and "That Smells GOD Awful"

First, I have to apologize on the lame posting lately.  The reason is on the eve of Wyatt's big debut I ended up coming down with some kind of stomach bug.  I seem to get these once a year around the holidays.  Last year, I was hugely pregnant and it was Christmas Eve so this time around didn't seem nearly as bad.  In hindsight it was pretty amusing.  My mattress at Michaels was on the floor so it was difficult getting up and down as is.  Then add vomiting in the mix it became quite hilarious.   This time I was much more concerned about Wyatt.  

On Saturday, I was fortunate enough to have Rebecca watch him.  I spent most of the day in bed as far away as possible to try to prevent breathing on him.  However, by the end of the day I felt guilty for not helping and then I missed him so much I just wanted to be around him.  And in all actuality there is only so long I try to stay away from him before we needed to have some interaction.  On Sunday, Wyatt and I took a nap for about 4 hours.  That was my first indication that he was going to be sick.

Sure enough by Sunday night he was in the same shape I was.  Let me tell you, he is a much better patient then I was.  Kid is amazing.  He would be puking one second and smiling the next.  This first time it happened (exorcist style all over my bed) he just looked up at me saying "What the F*** just happened?!"  And then didn't cry at all.  We cuddled all day on the couch, lazing around.  Only taking breaks to check out the fat squirrels or to drift off to snooze-land.  On Wednesday, he seemed to be doing better but started on a bottle hunger strike.  He was eating solids but refused to drink bottles and will only take an ounce or two of water or juice in a sippy cup.  As of today, he is still on this bottle strike but seems to be happy despite a slight fever.

I guess we are surviving his first sickness.  He is 9 months.  It is amazing this is his first sickness but I am still very nervous.  I don't know if I should feed him and then I'm paranoid about dehydration.  I have called Dr. Greg almost every day.  He has been really patient with me and only freaked me out once when he said we might have to hospitalize Wy if he gets worse.  I have been doing everything to keep him hydrated without bottles including mixing formula in his food, trying to trick him, and today 2 Pedialyte ice pops (which he LOVED).  It has me all on edge.  He is all clingy and needy but I have no idea what hurts him or how to help.  Dr. Greg says I just have to wait it out.  I am I feel like I am living in a Dr. Seuss book.  He does not want balls, blocks, or books.  He does not want to sit, stand, or stride.  He does not like milk, food, or juice.  Maybe I should try green eggs and ham. 

Wyatt's Debut!

It's the Day of the Show, Y'all

Sorry for the short notice but I just got the phone call a little while ago.  Wyatt will be making his debut on Late Night with Conan O'Brien tonight!!!  It will be on at 12:30am on NBC.  They said that Conan will come on and do his monologue.  Then they will cut to commercial and when they get back Wy should be on.  I was so excited when I got the phone call I almost wet my pants.  If you happen to miss it, I think we have about 12 people that are going to tape it.  I will try to get it posted on here if I am tech savvy enough.

As per usual, he has been in a fabulous mood all day even while cutting his front tooth.  Then during bath time I believe he said his first word in context.  Rebecca was playing peek-a-boo behind the shower curtain.  Every time Rebecca would re-appear he would say "Hi".  He did it about 7 times in a row then Gammy walked in and he greeted her with a "Hi".  Pretty cool.  Oh my, I am so excited about Conan!  Yeah, for Wyatt's TV debut!

9 Months

Bug-a-Lug, 

I can't believe that you have been outside in this world for as long as you had been inside my body.  It is weird to think about.  I can vividly remember last year around this time.  I was getting bigger by the second, living in the church's gatehouse, feeling like the not so virgin Mary without the donkey.  And now, you're here and more amazing then I ever dreamed of!  You loved listening to Christmas music while inside me.  You would jump around and kick like crazy.  I can only imagine how mesmerized you will be with the Christmas lights!  Oh, the joy of the season.

You are crawling.  You are walking with assistance.  You are mobile!  You know you can't quite walk on your own yet so you reach for my hand before you move.  As soon as we are holding hands, you are off at rocket speed.  I give you to Thanksgiving.  Today, you very hesitantly let go of the couch and stood by yourself making noises that resembled Flipper.  You are very proud of yourself.  I am very proud of you.

I still, everyday, enjoy spending my time with you.  Lizzy was home the other day from school,  growing roots on the couch.  You and I were in the kitchen eating lunch.  I was so engrossed in you that I forgot she was in the other room.  I was singing, dancing, making up crazy words like scrum-diddly-umtious simply for the pleasure of hearing you laugh.  At night, I have to look at you about four times before crawling in bed.  Then I wait to hear your sleepy little sighs before giving myself over to sleep.  Being in your orbit makes me a happier, carefree, more hopeful person.  I will never be bored while you are around.  

In your 9 months, you have already experienced so much.  You were there when Michael was ordained, when Rebecca got into Grad school, when Lizzy started her medication, and when your dad made his safe return from Afghanistan.  You have petted horses, have been on three film sets and on two hayrides.  You have braved Times Square, are a stock holder, and have seen puppies being born.  You have brought so much joy and enthusiasm into my life that sometimes I feel as though my heart could explode.  You witnessed the first African American get elected to the Presidency.  You have already experienced more than most people do in a lifetime.  I think it is safe to say that we can expect many more great things to come.

I love you everyday,

Your Mama

Swinging on a Star

The Audition Chronicles

If you haven't seen it our WalMart commercial is up and running since September 9th.  The 30 seconds of fame has been seen on the Food Network, Comedy Central, and Fox. Unfortunately, little man got cut from it.  He is not in it at all.  I was so upset about that.  I am in it for about 2 seconds.  Seriously, if you blink you will miss me.  It is a funny turn of events since I was there only because of Wyatt's audition.

Anyway, his commercial career trudges on.  I was really excited about a Tiffany's print ad he had an audition for about a month ago.  I really thought he was going to get it.  The Tiffany's 

people loved him and took about a million pictures but unfortunately we received no phone call.  I guess what they say is true about going to 10 auditions and only booking one.  After the Tiffany's audition we went for American Baby magazine, Bright Starts toys and cribs, Crayola, and a pharmaceutical company.

On Wednesday, we had a big adventure.  It was the first time that I ventured into the city for an audition without help.  The plan was to go to an audition on Wednesday afternoon, stay overnight, then have another audition in the morning.  A good friend of Rebecca's let us stay at her apartment in Times Square.  It was pretty amazing being that close to all the lights and it really was like a mini-vacation for Wy and I.  He adored the city lights, was astonished by Toys R Us in Times Square, and loved touching everything in Kristal's apartment.  I literally was following him around with Windex.

Then on Thursday, we received a phone call from Wy's agent with a booking for Late Night with Conan O'Brien.  I was so excited I almost wet my pants.  We went down to NBC Studios and filmed this little sketch about a baby workout routine.  This poor guy had to do crunches while holding Wyatt.  I am sure his abs were killing him the next day.  Wyatt was hysterical.  He charmed everyone that walked by the green room and attracted a lot of attention.  When they didn't need him for a scene he would try to crawl back over to the camera.  Everyone on set complimented him on being so well behaved and one of the writers promised to write more skits with babies so that they could have him back.

We were sitting in the green room. I was packing up our stuff to leave after the shoot and there were people everywhere getting ready to rehearse for that night's show.  Wyatt was crawling around checking everything out, I looked over and in walks Sarah Silverman.  She plops herself down on the floor and starts playing with Wy.  He starts smiling and doing his flirty thing.  She told him he was very handsome and made her day.  I was taking it all in thinking how incredibly amazing this week has been.  He has such a natural magnetism that attracts everyone in his path.

I talked to the Conan people yesterday and they said that the skit should air sometime next week.  I will post something as soon as I know.  They filmed a lot of footage of close ups of his face so he should be pretty easy to spot.  I can't wait for his big TV Late Night debut!! 

An Election Prayer

Direct the minds and the wills, O God, of the people of this country at the present time; 

that men and women of integrity and ability, strong, upright and compassionate, may be chosen to represent us;

and give to us, now and always, the blessing of a wise and just government, to lead our nation in the ways of freedom and peace;

through Jesus our Lord.

Amen.

A Refresher Course

In case you were wondering or were unable to do the research yourself or just need a little bit of a refresher before election day here is a synopsis on where the candidates stand on some of the issues.  This is not an inclusive list and I tried to be as brief and through as possible so forgive me if I made some generalizations.  I got most of this information from the New York Times. 

Abortion: Obama is pro-choice and supports Roe v. Wade.  McCain is pro-life and wants to overturn Roe v. Wade but has supported it in the past.

Afghanistan: Obama has promised to ramp up the American military effort, particularly on the Pakistani border.   McCain said that he would increase the number of troops in Afghanistan.

Climate Change: Obama believes that the US must lead global efforts to reduce emissions.  He wants to reduce carbon emissions by 80 percent by 2050.  Wants to double fuel economy standanrds.  McCain says the US should work toward a global effort. He wants to reduce carbon emissions by 60 percent by 2050.  Has voiced support for an increase in fuel economy but has not specified a standard.

Costs: Obama stimulus plan would cost $175 billion.  McCain's plan would cost $353 billion mostly due to the mortgage purchases.

Early Education: Obama wants to create challenge grants to help states move toward voluntary, universal preschol.  Wants to provide affordable child care and increase Head Start funding and quality.  McCain wants to provide $200,000 per year to each existing Head Start program with a proven record of success.  He is against nationally imposed standards or federal funding strings.

Financial Aid: Obama wants to streamline the application process and increase the maximum Pell grant award to $5,000.  McCain wants to consolidate aid programs to improve their administration and lessen deterrents to eligible families.

Health Care: Obama would require employers to provide insurance or contribute to the cost.  Provide subsidies for low-income people.  Would make plans portable from job to job and prohibit insurance companies from denying coverage to people with health problems.  McCain seeks to provide $2,500 tax credit for individuals and $5,000 for families to buy their own insurance.  Wants to bring greater competition to drug markets by safe reimportation of drugs and streamlining the process for introducing generic drugs.  Offer federal assistance for states to create high risk pools that would contract with insurers to cover consumers who have been rejected on the open market.  Moves to compensate medical providers based on the quality of their work.

Iran: Obama said he would do anything in his power to keep Iran from acquiring a nuclear weapon and would be willing to meet with the Iranian president with no preconditions during the first year of his administration.  McCain has called for strong sanctions on Iran and would be willing to act militarily.  He would not negotiate with Iranians without preconditions.

Iraq: Obama says he will remove one or two brigades a month and get all the combat troops out within 16 months. McCain says we must pursue victory in Iraq first, and worry about bringing troops home after but projects that most American forces would be home by 2013.

Job Creation:  Obama would invest $25 billion to repair roads, bridges, and to make schools more energy efficient.  Would also double loan guarantees for automakers to $50 billion.  McCain supported the legislation to grant $25 billion in loan guarantees to automakers.  He proposes building 45 nuclear power plants by 2030 to create 700,000 jobs.

Mortgage Crisis: Obama would enact a 90-day moratorium on most home foreclosures, requiring financial institutions that take government help to agree not to act against homeowners who are trying to make payments.  McCain would like to purchase troubled mortgages directly from financial institutions and replace them with fixed-rate, government guaranteed mortgages at the home's reduced value.

Oil: Obama supports taxing oil company windfall profits and use the money to support is middle class tax cut.  McCain opposes taxing oil company's saying it would increase our dependence on foreign oil.

Taxes: Obama wants to repeal the Bush tax cuts for households earning more than $250,000.  Extend middle class cuts and eliminate income taxes for senior citizens with up to $50,000 in income.  Increase capital gains tax from 15 percent to 20 percent.  McCain wants to make permanent nearly all of the Bush tax cuts.  Propose cutting capital gains tax to 7.5 percent from 15 percent.  

Teachers: Obama would offer federal financing to districts that negotiated performance pay programs with teachers' unions and allow bonus for veteran teachers who teach in hard to staff schools or demonstrated high levels of performance.  He proposes to create 200 teacher residency programs and wants to create new teacher scholarships.  McCain would reallocate 60 percent of the $3 billion in current federal spending on teacher quality programs to finance direct payments to high performing teachers.  He would devote 5 percent of the spending to recruitment of top new teachers and 35 percent to the discretion of the schools.

All Hallows Eve - A Photo Journal

Kari, Wyatt and I traveled door to door using the cutest blue monster to get candy.  Yes, that's right.  I'm not ashamed.  It was great fun and Wyatt enjoyed it too.

You're not really famous until people start carving your face in a pumpkin.   I would love to take all of the creative credit for this masterpiece but the truth is Lizzy found a template on the internet and I carved it.  Still I think it came out pretty awesome.

Wyatt's Halloween fangs.

Lizzy stayed home from school and I put her to work.  I got all our decorations down from the attic and decided that the front tree needed to be covered in spiders.  I elected Lizzy to do the climbing.  Once she was up there I abandoned her to get the camera because I had to document.  Literally, she was laying across the dead branch and all I could do was laugh.

Happy First Halloween!!!

Run Away, Run Away and Say Goodbye

I decided after almost 9 months of thrilling captivity it was time to venture out into the real world.  My brain has been feeling rather mushy lately motivating me to do something or risk letting my social skills atrophy from lack of adult contact.  The last few times I have gone out I noticed that I was experiencing slight social anxiety, something that has never happened to me before.  I took this as a red flag that I need to make an effort to get out more often.  I know I am a good mom but I probably could be an even better mom if I took some more time to myself every now and again.

It has taken me this long to spend a night away for several reasons.  First, while I was breast feeding it was pointless because I would have to get up to pump anyway.  Second, while I was working I would feel guilty leaving him for more than I had to since I was working 30 hours a week already.  Third, my babysitters are mainly my mom and sister.  They work all day and my mom on Saturdays.  They deserve to have their weekends free to do what they please.  Why should they give up their free time so I can have some?  I am so grateful for the help that they provide during the week that I am very hesitant to exploit their kindness over the weekend.

I synced schedules with all of my babysitters and was off around 9:30 Saturday morning trekking to CT meeting up with Kelly then to MA to Mia and returning at 10:30 Sunday night.  We carved pumpkins, drank a ton, caught up, laughed our heads off, and played drinking games that I forgot existed.  I adore these girls and was so excited to get to spend quality time with them.  It was liberating to stay up late and not worrying about waking up to fetch binkies all night.  I actually felt like I was 24 again for a few hours.  Good for the sanity and the soul.

Once I made my way to bed, highly anticipating an uninterrupted night of sleep, I found myself  staring at the ceiling.  I could not sleep at all.  On Sunday, I was surprisingly antsy to get back to him.  I know that missing him after spending 12 hours away is silly but it happens.  I'd envision his chubby cheeks and want to kiss them immediately.  Proof that I can cease worrying about him for a few hours but he is never fully removed from my conscience.  

Wyatt spent the weekend with all of his grandparents and his Auntie B.  Mom and Rebecca took Wy to the aquarium which he loved and was fascinated by.  When I got home Wyatt grew about an inch and seemed to gain about 5 lbs.  More accurately he now has two top teeth but instead of his front teeth he has gotten the two eye teeth.  Perfect in time for Halloween.  Our little vampire.  I was absolutely rejuvenated on Monday and had an amazing stay at home day playing, dancing, and laughing.  It was really lovely getting a night out but it was also really nice coming home.

Eyelashes Begging for Mascara

Whiney Ranting - Be Warned

I was once again under the misinterpertation that I would be able to get things done while I was at home. Wyatt was on a fairly decent schedule of 2 naps a day while I was working. I foolishly assumed that when I was home the 3 napping hours would equal lots of productivity. Some days it works out but most of the time I still feel tasks piled upon me. Or worse yet I feel like I got a lot accomplished then take a step back and realize I have done only a fraction of what could have been.  I guess, on a good day, I feel like I can get all my chores accomplished but I never seem to have enough time to focus on personal things. Things like getting freelance articles together to see if I can sell them to magazines; or looking for jobs in case I stumble upon my dream job; or collecting pictures to start Wyatt's scrapbook; or calling to catch up with friends; or reading my Ferber book to try to get Wyatt to sleep through the night.

Recently he seems to be consolidating his sleep. He will be out for 45 minutes in the morning which is about the time it takes me to eat breakfast, shower, and get ready. Then in the afternoon he might sleep for 2-3 hours but I never really know how long so it is hard to plan anything. There is nothing that I hate worse then starting something that I cannot finish. It kills me, like when you are trying to remember an actors name in a movie. Its hangs over my head until it is completed. In the afternoon I try to get laundry done, clean a bit, make baby food, eat lunch, and pack the car if we are going out.  Yes, I do have night time. Wyatt goes to sleep around 8:30 but he is still waking 1-2 times a night. I try to get to bed early and before my bedtime I write this blog, check email, maybe catch a TV show that I have DVRed and doesn't contain Mickey Mouse, the Backyardigans, or Johnny and the Sprites.

I guess what this long winded whine of a post is trying to say is that I feel pressed for time, all the time.  Which I guess is a truth to all life regardless of how many dependents you have.   I guess when I was single I at least had the time to procrastinate.  Now, I feel that every second of my life needs to be used in a productive way.  I have always been a good multi-tasker but this juggling has been elevated to an art form.  I truly love staying home with Wyatt but every once and a while (a rare while) I get overwhelmed with how structured my life has become.  Overwhelmed with how many daily tasks are on my to-do-list and with how my own needs have been thrown by the wayside. 

I thought that maybe I should cash in on some of the numerous and generous sitter offers so I could spend some time getting things accomplished.  But then I first remember how anal I am regarding Wyatt and secondly I remember how distressed, bored, and antisy I get when he sleeps past 2 hours.  I remember how I pace around the house looking for small tasks to occupy myself until he wakes up.  I never expected that I would be this kind of protective parent.  One of the many things I learned about myself this year.  As a makeshift solution, I have started utilizing the playpen.  Wyatt is perfectly content in there surrounded by toys playing happily so I have been allowing myself guiltless chore checking.  I really don't mind that much but need to vent every now and then.  I like to feel accomplished at the end of the day and I seem to been running on a deficit lately.  I'll get there eventually.  

Growl if Your Happy

I got this MacBook for my birthday but being a new Mac user I have no idea how to work anything.  Well, I found this PhotoBooth application that can do videos.  Wyatt is fascinated with it.  He loves watching the handsome baby on the screen and frequently tries to eat, drool on, or hug the screen.  I especially like this video because it captures him growling.  He growls all the time.  Dad thinks he growls when he is proud of himself.  I just think he is a growler. Enjoy!

Peek A Boo!

Barack the Vote

This election is terrifying to me for a number of reasons.  First off having Wyatt has forced me to look beyond my own lifespan and generation.  I often think about what his future will hold with all the mess that we are making now.  I don't want his life to be harder because of something I did.  I want him to be able to swim in oceans not polluted, eat foods free of pesticides and hormones, and have his world rescued from dependancy on oil.  I want him to live the American Dream, buy a house, be able to afford an ivy league education, and have the option of universal healthcare.  I want him to grow to be proud of his country for its beauty, the intelligence of its population, and our ability to achieve world peace with conversation not guns.  Yes, it might be a utopian wish but when you become a parent you will always want the absolute best for your child.  

I have looked at each candidate for the policies they are presenting.   I like to elavuate each ticket regardless of the party they belong to.  I have read Obama's Blueprint for Change and glanced at McCain's Country First: On the Issues.  I have been taught to evaluate, educate, and make informed decisions.  The past 8 years have brought us to war, led our economy to shambles, and have made us laughable to the world.  We need a change.  We need our country back.  I want a competent leader that will renew the American spirit, make lasting reform, and reinstate our position as a world leader.  We do not need a continuation of the last 8 years.  Clearly, Barack Obama is my President.  

I am registered independent so I can vote for the candidate that I agree with rather then voting along party lines.  I don't know when people started associating with political parties like they do religion.  I believe that there is a fundamental problem with our two party system.  We need more choices. Ralph Nader is running again but why hasn't he been asked to participate in the debates?  Due to this lack of qualified, equal choices our country is highly divided and I am worried that it is not going to get much better in my lifetime or in Wyatt's. We need more than just black and white.  I don't agree with all of Obama's views but I do feel that he is the right choice for our country.

We have so much riding on this election.  I have tried to make whatever difference that I can because I feel that I cannot sit idly by and watch my beloved county fall again into the hands of good ole' boy leadership.  I volunteered to run the polls on election day.  I signed up for Obama's Neighbor to Neighbor program that calls constituents in battleground states.  We took Wyatt to his first political rally and he was the cutest Obama supporter there.  We all need to be more active in our country's future.  We all need to stand up for what we believe in and not grow complacent in these last few weeks.  It is not too late, there is still hope.

8 months

Buster Brown, 

Another miraculous month.  You have begun to see and interact with your world in the most astounding ways.  It is hard to get you to sleep at night because you are always so curious about everything.  The shadows on the wall, my unused alarm clock, the glass of water, and the sound of the heat turning on are all very intriguing at 3am.  I have begun talking to you at night so you turn your focus to me and I can bore you back to sleep.  Usually, I am proclaiming the benefits of sleeping through the night or how cuddly and warm your bed would be if you were in it but sometimes I resort to stories about chipmunks or badgers.     

You are a second away from crawling.  You get on your hands and knees and go backward usually cornering yourself between furniture.  Sometimes you rock back and forth, then inch forward and then fall on your tummy.  I don't know if I am excited about this monumental development or terrified.  Right now, I can sit you on the floor surrounded by toys, run to get a glass of water, and be confident that you will be right where I left you on my return.  Once you get independently mobile its a whole new ball game.  You will be everywhere and into everything.   

Basically, I am terrified about baby-proofing.  Sometimes, I crawl around on the floor to look at things from your angle.  All I see are wires that can wrap around you, electrical sockets, books that you will slobber on, cat food to eat, ceramic things that could fall on your head, and lots and lots of choking hazards.  So, please for my sanity, hold off on crawling and walking.  It can wait.  You are doing just fine in your walker zipping around the house and terrorizing the cats.  You get into lots of trouble in that thing.  I can't image what you will do without the bumper barrier on the walker.

Now that the weather is beautiful we spend most of our time outside on the lawn.  I set up camp out front so you can watch the cars go by.  I grab a blanket, some toys, and we sit for hours taking in each blade of grass.  We have also been taking a lot of outings.  This weekend we went to the Apple Festival and last weekend to Harvest Day and to see Otto the Ghost.  You have taken 2 hay rides and became quite enamored with the big horse.  Daddy and I took you to the Central Park Zoo.  You liked the animals but you LOVED the carpeting on the walls in the penguin exhibit, the little British girl at the Polar Bears, and the pigeons all over the park.  I think the Aquarium is next.  I love taking you out and watching strangers bend to look at you and ask questions.  You attract all sorts of people.  The other day this elderly gentlemen actually did a jig in the grocery store to get you to smile.  You didn't but I sure did.   

I love you everyday.

Mommmmmmm (thats how you say it)

Our Pumpkin Head