Run Away, Run Away and Say Goodbye

I decided after almost 9 months of thrilling captivity it was time to venture out into the real world.  My brain has been feeling rather mushy lately motivating me to do something or risk letting my social skills atrophy from lack of adult contact.  The last few times I have gone out I noticed that I was experiencing slight social anxiety, something that has never happened to me before.  I took this as a red flag that I need to make an effort to get out more often.  I know I am a good mom but I probably could be an even better mom if I took some more time to myself every now and again.

It has taken me this long to spend a night away for several reasons.  First, while I was breast feeding it was pointless because I would have to get up to pump anyway.  Second, while I was working I would feel guilty leaving him for more than I had to since I was working 30 hours a week already.  Third, my babysitters are mainly my mom and sister.  They work all day and my mom on Saturdays.  They deserve to have their weekends free to do what they please.  Why should they give up their free time so I can have some?  I am so grateful for the help that they provide during the week that I am very hesitant to exploit their kindness over the weekend.

I synced schedules with all of my babysitters and was off around 9:30 Saturday morning trekking to CT meeting up with Kelly then to MA to Mia and returning at 10:30 Sunday night.  We carved pumpkins, drank a ton, caught up, laughed our heads off, and played drinking games that I forgot existed.  I adore these girls and was so excited to get to spend quality time with them.  It was liberating to stay up late and not worrying about waking up to fetch binkies all night.  I actually felt like I was 24 again for a few hours.  Good for the sanity and the soul.

Once I made my way to bed, highly anticipating an uninterrupted night of sleep, I found myself  staring at the ceiling.  I could not sleep at all.  On Sunday, I was surprisingly antsy to get back to him.  I know that missing him after spending 12 hours away is silly but it happens.  I'd envision his chubby cheeks and want to kiss them immediately.  Proof that I can cease worrying about him for a few hours but he is never fully removed from my conscience.  

Wyatt spent the weekend with all of his grandparents and his Auntie B.  Mom and Rebecca took Wy to the aquarium which he loved and was fascinated by.  When I got home Wyatt grew about an inch and seemed to gain about 5 lbs.  More accurately he now has two top teeth but instead of his front teeth he has gotten the two eye teeth.  Perfect in time for Halloween.  Our little vampire.  I was absolutely rejuvenated on Monday and had an amazing stay at home day playing, dancing, and laughing.  It was really lovely getting a night out but it was also really nice coming home.