66 Months

Exhibit A

Wyatt,

This summer has been so brutally hot.  We moved into this fabulous home with all of these lovely cross breeze wide open windows.  So lovely but only really effective if there is a breeze.  Which, of course, there hasn't been.  I had made a big statement at the beginning of the summer, "No AC for us!!  Its easier just to not be in it at all."  I totally believe that.  However, when you get no relief for days and then decide to do cardio Pilates.  It's like inhaling sweaty hotness.  We really did put in a good effort though.  I finally had to cave when we woke up sweating, found you naked on the couch one too many times, and realized that surprise guests don't really like us playing Legos in our underwear.  I found a AC unit in the basement for your bedroom and one of your friends' mother took pity on us and gave us one for the den.  Even with both of them running it didn't make much of a dent.  I guess now I have time to prepare for next summer.

You took swim lessons at the beach again.  I was definitely being more diligent about it this year, simply because you are doing better with it.  You CAN swim.  You are just not a very confident swimmer.  Which I'm still not a confident swimmer, so I can relate, but I would like you to do better and the only way that is going to happen is if you spend more time in the water.  I've made a habit of having everything in the back of my car so we can just show up.  Then we would go to Gammy and Pa's after and shower there while Gammy cooked dinner.  They have better AC too.  Win and Win.  Total winning all around.

So, Pa decided one afternoon that he was going to come down and watch you at swim lessons.  You have been spending lots of time together having light saber battles, as if your bond wasn't strong enough already.  I think you just got excited and wanted to show off a little.  After lesson, you were paddling around with one of the kick-boards while Pa and I stood on the shore.  You got out a little farther then I would have liked and when I called you back in you lost your balance a little. You started struggling, bobbing up and down a little. I yelled at Pa.  I thought you were going down.  I guess I rattled Pa a little and he froze.  I jumped in.  Clothes and all.  You would have been fine.  I know that.  But in that split second decision, I wasn't really prepared to just sit around and watch what happened.  We all laughed about it afterwards.  Even you.  Who almost drowns AT swimming lessons?!?!  With like 12 lifeguards standing around!

We spent a considerable amount of time this month car shopping.  Both of us were surprisingly nostalgic to see Geraldine Ford Escape go.  I am not sure I was really ready actually but her mileage was getting up there and I wanted to trade her while I could still get a good price.  We had some great times with her and she had been a REALLY great car for us.  A far cry from the buyers remorse I had when I first bought her.  It took us both a long time to decide on what we wanted to trade her in for.  Believe me, you had QUITE an opinion.  And when we finally did decide, it was quite a surprise on all of us.  We ended up taking home an Audi Q5. (Which I named Heidi Das Audi and you call Hans) The Extravagance!!  The Luxury!! The heated leather seats!! The panoramic sunroof!!  The little light above your seat that you can turn on to read!! Honestly, I never ever would have imagined myself in a car this nice.  But she drives like a dream and after the test drive I was hooked.  Then after much haggling, we took her home. (You know I have to get a good deal).  The really pathetic part is, I almost started crying when I turned over the keys of Geraldine.  And you kept asking when could we go back and get her.  "Can't we just have both" you whined.

I have a point to telling all this, I promise.  I know that buying a car, is, well, just buying any other material possession.  But I learned quite a deal in this whole experience.  Ever since I had you, most of my energies have been focused on you.  Your needs, your wants, saving money for what you will eventually need, college funds, etc.  Of course, that is extremely important and I am grateful I have been able to provide all that you have needed.  However, I think I forgot that it was OK for me to want something.  I am a good mom, and I could afford to treat myself to something I wanted.  So, instead of taking a possibly more frugal, more conservative option, I decided that I was worth it.  That we were worth wanting something better.  Even if it was material.  Wyatt, I want you to remember, that YOU are worth it.  After you are done saving, and providing, and meeting your responsibilities; my darling Wyatt, treat yourself but only when all those other things are done first.  Thats a life lesson right there.  Write it down.

I love you every single day,
Momma

63 Months

Goose,

With Charlie

This month has been a flurry of activity.  I swear, all of a sudden, you have become way more popular then me.  Seriously.  My phone is filled with play dates and birthday parties.  You inform me when you get home from school who you are having play dates with.  You arrange them yourself!  I have become reliant on my phone in the morning to remind me of what is going on during the day.  I think you are averaging 3 play dates a week.  I also have taught you to dial my phone for "emergencies".  But you know, I was in the bathroom and you really needed some ice tea, so you just called Gammy.  Totally an emergency.  We probably need to go over what constitutes an emergency.  You ask how many nighttimes before your next play date and if there isn't one soon you demand me to call for someone to come over.  Plus baseball.  Ohhh, baseball.

And don't forget cousin William

I've never played baseball with you before.  I've never thrown a ball around in the backyard.  There are a lot of things I attempt to teach you on a daily basis but these things are not in my skill set.  So I recruited Pa to be your baseball coach.  (Recruited might be soft.  I think demanded is more like it.  Actually signed him up a little against his will knowing that he would come around.)  Pa came home with a mitt and helmet.  You actually have some skill, the only thing that limits you is your attention span.  You would much rather be playing on the playground or fooling around with the kid next to you or taking a water break.  But Pa.  Pa is an amazing coach.  He always has been.  Finally after teaching 3 girls teams for countless years, he gets his chance at baseball.  You got jealous during the first practice.  He is YOUR Pa.  YOUR Pa was not allowed to fool around with other kids.  YOUR Pa was not allowed to give encouragement to anyone else.  Pa didn't really understand why you were acting up until I explained it to him when we got home.  But you've been much better since I explained to you that you need to share Pa at practice but get him all to yourself when we get home.  It has been good with the move for you to know that you have two definite days that you get to play with Pa.

You throw fairly well.  Not much aim yet.  When you concentrate you can hit the baseball off the tee very well.  The key being if you concentrate.  If not you are spinning around like a ballerina.  Pa told you that he put a little man on top of the baseball and you had to knock him off.  You hit it to the outfield.  Pa was so proud.  I don't think I have ever seen you catch anything.  During the first game you hit the ball and ran all the bases.  Like right past the runner on second and third.  Ran through home and then went back to first with all the coaches yelling and all of us laugh/crying on the sidelines.  

We finally made it into our new house!  (After lots of stress on my part and mild complaining on your part.)  I wanted to make our first night extra special.  So I told you that we could sleep where ever you wanted.  You decided that you wanted to have a slumber party; watch movies (you don't like movies this actually meant that we watched DVR'd episodes of the Octonauts and Jake and the Neverland Pirates), eat popcorn, and sleep on the couch.  You insisted that I bring the "pouf" (aka ottoman) from the other room so we would both have one on the den couch together.  You called it "our pouf party".  Just when you were about to fall asleep on the couch you asked to go cuddle upstairs in my bed.  We played hookie that next day.  Which you have now asked several times to do again.  I made "scratch" pancakes shaped as a "W" which you think are the best breakfast ever.  I made so many that you asked me to call Gammy to eat with us.  Gammy was so shaken up by the 12 hours we spent without her (we had dinner with everyone the night before) that she was over in two seconds.

Sleeping angel on our first night

It was a good night.  We have had good nights.  You proclaimed the other day that "hey mom, I think I like this house."  Which I think is the most validation from you I will get.  I am so grateful for all of this.  This house.  This support.  This family.  But Wyatt, especially you.  At the end of the day, us being together makes this house a home.  It makes all of the hard work so worth it.  You make everything worth it.  I don't think I will ever get tired of watching you get the mail after school.  Or holding your hand as we walk up the stairs to bed.  Or watching you run in the street with the neighborhood kids.  Or seeing your face light up when you bring someone in your room.  Or eating together, just the two of us and listening about your day.  I am so thrilled to be making this move, in this home, with you.

I love you infinity.
Momma

May The Birthday Be With You

Let's Go Mets

Happy Dadda and Pa Day

Car Washing

My Buddy, My Pa

One of My Many Thanks

My parents have always been firm believers in assisting us realize our dreams. They are our permenant cheerleaders and can always be counted on to lend a helping hand. When I learned of my pregnancy, they dove in with me, understanding the diffult road ahead, and doing anything in their power to assist. My mom would listen to me for hours talking about the type of mom I thought I would be without once mentioning the reality of how having children changes your perceptions.  She never lectured or criticized me for being naive.  She was there as a support while still allowing me to have self discoveries.  My dad could have kicked me out of the house, disowned me, but instead he offered me a place to stay.  But I think they also maintain a balance to allow us to cultivate our own independence.

I have to admit I was very nervous moving back home.  I came home after South Carolina to gather my thoughts but never intended on staying.  Before I found out I was pregnant, I was offered a position at the Habitat in New Orleans that I was very exciting about accepting.  Then plans shifted.  I have always gotten along great with my parents but once I tasted independence and self reliance it was hard for me to come home, even for holidays.  My apartment was exactly how I liked it. If I put a glass down it would stay there until I picked it up again.  It doesn't happen like that at home, for good or bad.  I am still independent in a lot of ways but at home I get lazy knowing that someone else will take care of the cleaning, cooking, or even picking up.  I help out as much as I can but sometimes it just doesn't feel like I am pulling my weight.

However, I never quite fully understood how much help my parents would be.  I can't imagine moving out.  I would be lonely.  Wyatt adores his Gammy and Grandpa, lighting up when they walk through the door.  I think he would be bored with just me all the time.  When mom gets home at 5 she takes him for a while to allow me to breathe for a minute or if she can't dad will.  That breathe allows me to refuel, to tune out for a second, and gain perspective.  I don't know what I would do if I didn't get that opportunity every day. Don't get me wrong, Wyatt is an amazing baby and very easy to entertain but he's time consuming.

Wyatt was doing very well with sleeping through the night.  Finally!!  I got a little more me time at the end of the day.  He would go to sleep at 8 and me at 10 knowing that I would be sleeping till at least 7am.  Lately, he has reverted back to his poor sleep habits.  Waking for an hour then sleeping for an hour almost all night.  He already has 4 top teeth and 2 bottom teeth but maybe he is getting more.  I'm not sure the cause but it is driving me up the wall.  Last night I phoned a friend, aka mom, with one word "Help!"  She sat, rocking him, for almost an hour because my patience meter was at a negative 87.  Their help is completely vital to my survival as a single mom.  Without them I think I would be a stressed, testy, and agitated mom.  They allow me to be a better mom. Seriously, I am never moving out.

Pappy

Imagine you have three daughters. During your 50's, two of them move out seemingly never to return both eager to start their own lives. The third is soon moving out going to college herself. You are looking forward to spending retirement years sipping margaritas, watching the Mets win every series, playing numerous rounds of golf, and relaxing in the quiet comfort of the home you have dutifully paid off most of your adult life. Now, imagine your eldest daughter gets pregnant while not married and moves home, then the other moves home to help, then the third expresses interest in Med school not so far because she wants to be home on the weekends. Your quiet retirement bubble quickly bursts as additions are put on, more money goes out, and you accept more hours at your second job. Your home becomes over run with baby paraphernalia and there are more women in the house then ever before making you frightened to step in the door and face to-do-lists longer then humanly possible. Your only solace is your grandson who hopefully will grow up to mow the lawn although unlikely because the women spoil him rotten and don't want him to get his popped collar dirty.

I am sure you can only guess who I am referring to. These past few months have been hard on my Dad. If I got pregnant under the best circumstances I am sure it would have been hard. He sticks his head in the sand when hearing daughter and sex in the same sentence. I believe he had himself convinced that we all were waiting for marriage. I blew that one up real quick. I owe him some extra debt of gratitude this fathers day, specially for not throwing me out on my ass and also for refraining from hitting Terry. Three Cheers!

Reflecting back on the years, my Dad can always be counted on for a laugh. Tickle torture is elevated to an art form with him. When I was 13 years old, he tickled me so furiously I lost my breath and actually wet my pants in Toys R Us. 13 years old. I kid you not. He took us to Bonanza's in Oyster Bay almost every Saturday to get Italian ices. He would take us to return bottles and then spend the money we got on YoHoos. Spent countless hours at Teddy Roosevelt Park running behind bicycles and then behind gangly girls on roller blades. He coached each of our softball little leagues, that itself should win him a medal. We were all terrible, except a brief stint with Rebecca as catcher. I was far more interested in gossiping with my friends on the team then catching pop-flys. Yet, he would cheer us on every game and get riled up at even the slightest improvement. When mom was away once, my stomach was hurting and I went downstairs to tell dad. Just as the words were coming out of my mouth so was about 3 gallons of projectile vomit, all over Dad and the chair he was sitting in. Honestly, I think he cursed a little but then lovingly escorted me to the bathroom covered in 8 year old vomit.

As weird as it may sound, I can't wait for Terry to come home and get covered in vomit. I am positive that Wyatt will have just as many memories made with Terry in the drivers seat. Terry has the potential to be an amazing father. I have seen it in him, his love for his family, dedication, and devotion. Wyatt is lucky to have such a strong role model to adore. Terry is blessed to have an amazing side kick that will surely become his proudest achievement. Terry's potential will be realize and for the next few months we are praying for September to come quickly. Happy Father's Day to all you Daddies out there.