You have become more independent dramatically. I love that you want to run around a hotel by yourself. You ask to stay home if I have to run a quick errand. "Penny is here. It's fine." You want your own cell phone to FaceTime with your friends. You pack your book bag and ask for more responsibility. I rearranged your room with a couch so you can "hang out". You flat out cursed the other day when you hurt yourself - I had to check myself before I almost cursed back at you. You are 100% better at math than me (not an amazing feat but you love being smarter than me). We have conversations, that turn into arguments, that turn into solutions and compromises. It is not just "how was your day at school?" Its situational questions that need adult answers. I can see your thought process that then informs your actions. You are growing right before me. And yet...you will still hold my hand. You still ask for snuggle time on the couch. If you do get in trouble, which is rare, you repent. You have been know to punish yourself so I don't actually know what to do. We are on a precipice of teenagerdom.
When I asked you what you wanted to do for your 10th birthday, you didn't hesitate when you said you wanted to go to the Hampton's house. "Mom, its my happy place." I completely agree. There is something so peaceful about it; the water, the quiet house, the lack of responsibility, the ability to just breathe and be. However, that wasn't your only demand. You wanted to bring your friends. And friends for me ... to keep me occupied and out of your way, of course. I asked to borrow the house and lucky for us it was free. You and I went out on Friday after a family celebration at Friendly's. The neighbors came out the night after, for a 5 adults and 7 kid extravaganza, plus John and his kids met us on Sunday. We are so blessed to have all of these amazing friends in our lives. It has been hard for me to find like-minded parents and the fact that we have 2 sets on our block is incredible. We all had such a great time; doing nothing really, walks on the beach, movie marathons and a few hilarious games of "Left, Right, Center".
We had a little bit of a road trip the other day. I have graduated you to sit in the front seat - every once in a while. You have become more of an equal and less of a passenger. With you in the front, you can't space out on your electronics or books. You have to be present; join in the conversation. We rolled down all the windows, the sun warming the car, singing along (loudly) to the Spotify playlist you made, cracking jokes and laughing together. I told you it is one of my favorite things to do and you got right into it. I want to live in that moment. There are not many days anymore where it is just the two of us. You bait me sometimes; telling me you need a mom day and I cancel our plans. Then your friends knock on the door and I don't see you for the rest of the day. I'm not jealous. It is the natural progression of life. I am happy that you are independent, self aware, and well adjusted. I trust you. To behave respectfully and graciously. To be mindful. To stay within the guidelines that I have drawn for you. To trust yourself if a situation doesn't seem right and to call for adult intervention. To make me proud. I am grateful that I can sit back and watch you grow independently from me. Maybe Nana was right.
Calling you my pride and joy is an understatement. I am in awe of you. Of the way your mind works. Of your innate talent to read situations. Of your ability to stay true to yourself and make friends effortlessly. I don't know what I did in my life to deserve a kid like you. I don't know how I got so lucky. You are the best part of me. I can't wait to see where this next year will bring you.
I love you everyday,
Momma
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