mtn jam

I dropped Wyatt off at school at 9am on Friday.  He seemed barely phased that I was leaving.  Even told his teachers "Momma's going camping.  But its not for kids camping."  They both looked at me with raised eyebrows.  One of them told me to "Be good!  Have fun!" on my way out, like I was an 18 year old.  Wyatt gave me a hug and turned away.  I think I expected it to be more ceremonious. I wanted to linger. Give him another extra long hug but I forced myself to turn and walk away.  The bigger my fuss, the bigger his fuss.  I kept on thinking of going back but thought better of it.  My therapist was convinced I was going to cry but I didn't.  Go me.  As I pulled away, I took a deep breath and put him in the back of my mind.  He was in excellent hands.  They would call me if there was a problem.  "Just relax" I told myself.  "Have fun. You deserve a good break every 5 years."

By 3pm, we were unpacking our tent and gear with a cold beer in our hands.  By 6pm, we were listening to Gary Clark Jr, then the Roots and Gov't Mule.  It rained a lot but that's what rain gear is for.  What's the point of being a dirty hippie all weekend if there's no mud!?  And there definitely were some hippies.  Where do they live all the time?  Or are they bankers and lawyers that break out their mexican poncho's, Birkenstocks, joints and dreads on the weekends?  I can't remember the last time I saw that many dreads.  There were these bunch of (gorgeous) girls who were quite proficient in the hulu-hoop.  Where does one go to learn that?  Are there classes?  Do-it-yourself DVD's you can watch at home?  Seriously, they were REALLY good.

On Saturday, we woke up early and then I took a nap before we went down to the concerts.  Like a legit nap, people.  We were drinking with lunch and I decided to lay down for a while.  Because I could.  Because I didn't have to worry about anyone but myself.  I can't even describe how cool that feeling was. Poop when I want to.  Sleep when I want to.  Eat when I feel hungry.  It has been 5 years which I think why it was such a novel experience.  Don't get me wrong, I love Wyatt.  I love my life.  I wouldn't change anything but having this little respite, a little chance just to be myself for a while was liberating, enlightening, refreshing.

First up was Zach Deputy, then my lovely nap, then The Word, Givers, and Ben Folds Five.  I love Ben Folds Five. For years. I would have gone just to see them.  They were amazing.  Literally, I almost peed in my pants (like only a true mother can) when they started playing "Kate".  Best moment ever.  Jen said that normally I am 95% happy but when I was there I was 167% happy.  If I was like that all the time she wouldn't be my friend.  I told her I probably wouldn't be my friend either.  We drank a lot.  We danced a lot.  We ate a lot. My phone ran out of battery on Saturday night and I left it until Sunday afternoon. It might not seem like a big deal but for me its huge.  I am not attached to my phone but when I am away from Wyatt, I am.

We packed up Sunday morning, planning on cleaning up camp then catching some more concerts and heading home around 7ish.  We caught Trombone Shorty (hello first seat trombone in HS), the Carolina Chocolate Drops (who played cow bones and washboards), Tedeshi Trucks Band, Dawes and some of Michael Franti. I loved Dawes but I kept finding myself looking at my watch.  Was their set going to be over soon?  When are we starting our ride home?  It had nothing to do with the rain and everything to do with getting to see Wyatt before he went to sleep.

Wyatt was asleep when I got home.  But he was just the same as I had left him; safe, happy and loved. Mom said he had one brief moment where he was upset during a thunderstorm and was concerned that momma was camping but smooth sailing otherwise.  He smiled and hugged me in the morning.  I am so grateful and happy that I got that time but I was just as happy to come home.