Wyatt One Liners - the Miraculous Body

I walk in the den to find Wyatt watching YouTube on the computer.  When I look again I can see one hand on his hand and the other down his pants.  "Wyatt, what are you doing?"
"Mom, look!  I can pat my head, touch my penis and watch YouTube at the same time."
"Congratulations, kiddo."

Wyatt and I are laying in my bed watching TV with my arm around his little body.  He comes to snuggle closer and starts staring at my armpit.  "What's up bud?"
"What's that brown stuff?'
"Hair.  When you grow up, you grow hair in weird places.  Like your armpits and legs."
"Oh, cool." And goes back to his tv show.

Sometimes we play a game where I pretend he is not my Wyatt because my Wyatt is a baby.  We go over all the reasons why he can't possibly be my baby because he can walk or run or use the potty.  So the other night he is standing in front of me, naked, rattling off the entire families full names and then our address and phone number.  Finally he gets so frustrated he starts yelling "You know me!  This is my face.  These are my hands.  And my feet.  And my belly.  And this is my penis!"  Now that all the basic body parts are covered.  Yes, you're my Wyatt.

Wyatt is in the bath being very interested in his penis and I am trying not to notice.  I'm ok if he needs to explore a little.  "Mom, what are these hard, round things by my penis?"
"Well, they give your body what it needs to make you a boy."  (Am I just suppose to say, hey kid their your balls?!?)
"What does it need?"
"There is a thing called hormones.  Everyone has them and they live in their body.  Yours get made down there."
"Where do yours get made?"
"Ahh, in my neck."
"How do the hormones get in there?  (Maybe if I ignore him he will stop asking questions.) Can I get the hormones out?  Do the come out when I pee?  Why goes it get so veiny when I squeeze them?"
"Uhhh, I'll be right back."  He is just too smart.  So, I fled.  Sometimes there is just no end to his questions and I definitely was stumped on how to answer them.  I went and got a glass of water and when I came back he was onto something else. THANK GOD.

We are watching America's Funniest Home Videos (or Riduculiousness or Winter Wipeout or something in that vein.  I am a little bit obsessed with shows like that.  Embarrassingly.)  I am laughing so hard I am crying.  (Also totally normal.)  Wyatt is looking at me a little concerned.  Finally he asks "Mom, are you going to pee or throw up?"  Of course, this gets me laughing more.