The Homecoming

Terry made his way back home on the 6th. We didn't know for sure when he was coming home and were on standby. I spoke with him on Saturday and he was still in Afghanistan then on Thursday received an email that he was in Chicago. I think that is pretty quick for flying out of a war torn country. Terry's family had a big welcome home celebration for him. When he walked through the door the first thing I thought was "Oh right. That is what that voice looks like." It is weird after talking on the phone for so long how the voice and the image can become detached.

In the last month of Terry's tour, we began fighting a lot. I think that most of this was due to the distance. Even the most stable of relationships will begin to falter when communication is limited to phone calls twice a month. We would fight and then I would have ample time either let the argument fester or forget about it. I would always try to forget about it and start fresh each conversation but sometimes that just wasn't realistic. Obviously, all of this put a strain on our relationship.

Saying that I was nervous about his homecoming is an understatement. Our relationship has morphed so much that it is barely recognizable to me. Sometimes Terry is barely recognizable to me. We used to have a friendship that I could tell him anything but now I second guess myself. Am I being to whiny? Will he take that the wrong way? How much information does he need to know? How involved do I want him in my personal life? Does that sound like I am lecturing? Every sentence seems analyzed and I find myself over thinking every little nuance.

For the most part, it seems to be going well. I am trying to hold no expectations for Terry while he is home. Obviously, I would like him to get to know Wyatt but I also understand that this time needs to be a stress free detox for him. I have to admit it is weird having him home. I have been self sufficient for the last seven months and trying to incorporate Terry into my routine is difficult. The hardest part for me is learning to trust Terry like I trust myself. We have until mid-October to figure things about before Terry leaves again (this time to Alabama) and then we will have to start adjusting all over again.