I know it may sound weird but other peoples kids scare the shit out of me. Sometimes I will be out and see a toddler having a screaming fit. Or an 5 year old throwing a temper tantrum and being bribed with ice cream. Or a parent running around chasing their kid taking dirt out of their hands. This is my living hell. My throat closes up, break out in hives, start getting cold sweats. My worse nightmare comes to life in technicolor. Honestly, I have to hold on to something to prevent from throwing myself on the floor, writhing around, and having a tantrum of my own. Kids under 6 scare the shit out of me.
Pre-Wyatt I would sit in restaurants watching kids scream, spill soda, feed populations of ants under their high chairs and think "oh no, my kids would never be like that." I was going to have children that sit respectfully, like adults, saying things like "please pass the pepper" or "excuse me sir" or "thank you Mommy for taking me out to dinner. I will love you eternally." Then, I had Wyatt and came to realize that I have NO CONTROL over anything that he does. He has an agenda all his own that pays little respect to my needs, wants, or thoughts. He will inevitably scream his throat sore in the grocery store. I will be powerless to stop him and every other non-parent will stare at me thinking what a horrible mother I am. Because until you have kids, you never fully realize how little control you have over your children.One of my first summer jobs was as a camp counselor to little camp 3-4 year olds. The only thing I learned was how truly terrifying other peoples kids are. I was hoping that my fear of toddlers would change once I had Wyatt. It has not. I have no idea how to interact with children under 6 years old. I am sure that I will know how to talk to Wyatt because we are growing together. He is not going to be 3 over night. Then maybe once he gets to be 6 my phobia will vanish because I will have experience dealing with that age bracket. Until then I will continue to be terrified, continue to speak to them like adults, and pray that one day I will understand.
2 comments:
how can you be afraid of that face? Of course you will have challenges raising a child will all did and do! You just have to trust your instincts,you'll fall short of perfect and so will he and thats the most normal thing. No matter how much you love each other, it is human nature that you'll lock horns at times. Don't worry about any of that cause you'll both be older. enjoy the here and now! Each stage has it's amazing moments and not so amazing moments but all in all it's still a miracle and never ceases to be lifes greatest blessing! Enjoy every day! love, auntie de
By the way love the picture with the sideways hat..... is that one on snapfish??????? have to get it before he's famous!!!!!! love, great auntie de
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