The 4th of July has always been one of my favorite holidays, definitely up there with Christmas. During my younger years, the 4th was spent down at the club with sparklers, bathing suits, and tons of other kids watching fireworks. Then it was spent on the beach with no shoes, beers, and tons of teenagers trying to cop a feel in the lite of the bon-fires. The 4th seemed to combine three of my favorite things: cold brews, old friends, and salty beaches. It was a night packed with excitement and I have many fond memories down on the beach.I asked Mom a week in advance if she could babysit. I can count on one hand how many times I have gone out since Wyatt was born. I don't like leaving him although I know it is good for my sanity to venture out. Its not about guilt. I really love spending my free time with him. Most of the time I end up dragging myself away only to think and talk about him the entire time. (I admit I'm obsessed but he deserves it). Mom got all concerned, asking if I was handling every OK. She is very sweet but seriously Wyatt is 5 months. It is about time I got out!
I spent the first half of the night at the club with Wyatt and the family around the BBQ. Then I handed off the babe and went to Uncle Jackie's for some more adult fun. I had three beers over five hours. I am surprised I wasn't falling down drunk. It was a pump and dump night (ie. pump breast milk when you get home and dump it down the drain). No contaminated breast milk for my bundle of joy. I swear I was smiling the entire time. I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of my freedom and was pleasantly surprised to find myself happily cuddled with Wyatt around midnight.I have always been a partier. I love being out at bars, or around pool tables, or dancing like a chicken with its head cut off. I miss parting every once and a while. I miss feeling that buzz, the loss of inhibitions, the giddiness that alcohol provides. I'm human and am innately social so I those feelings don't entirely fade away. But I don't want to be the mom too drunk to hear the baby cry. I want to be sober for him. I would rather spend my time with him. I want to be there for his every move. There is someone in my life now that is so much more interesting than the drink in my hand and he is the only one I want to be coming home to. I guess I am still working on the balance of motherhood.
1 comment:
Hi Kate I love the picture on the blog of Wy-bean with the hat on with the bay in the background. Is that one on snapfish yet? On the topic of balancing motherhood, my only recommendation is that I believe it's great to give 90% attention to being a mom, but just as important is the 10% for life outside of momdom. Many of us failed to make that time and in hindsite it's a biggie. Although it's hard it makes you a more rounded, grounded and in touch with life mother. Take it from me I only gave it 1.5% and it takes just a tiny bit more...... just a loving suggestion! Hugs to both, Auntie DE
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