My Saving Grace

Rebecca and I haven't always been friends. We had a rocky childhood. We were very competitive with one another, escalating in high school, reaching a point where we only spoke to one another in jabs or insults. She would ignore me when I walked down the hallways. I always felt as though I was embarrassing her. And I am sure that she always felt as though I was putting her down. We argued constantly in that shrill, glass breaking, girl volume that drove my parents crazy. Besides being blood related, I never thought we had anything in common. (In hindsight, our bickering probably had something to do with me dating her high school crush in which I was totally in the wrong and if I could undo all those years of torment between us, I would. I would much rather have the love of my sister over a guy any day.)

During our college years, we called a truce. We slowly began to embrace our relationship and steadily found ourselves relying on each other more and more. She would call me at the first sign of catastrophe. She became my rock, someone who I could always count on. More importantly someone who could point out my flaws with a matter-of-fact bluntness that you have to take seriously but not offensively. She knows exactly what to say to get me to crack up and can be my reality check when I am living in my head too much. She is the perfect definition of a sister.

Rebecca has been elevated to hero status since I broke the news of my pregnancy. She has been my cohort from day one, jumping right on board my crazy train without a moments hesitation. Not only has she given me the support I desperately needed, she adores and cherishes Wyatt as her own. The love she bestows on Wyatt is palpable, uncompromised, and unparalleled. I truly believe that he will share a pedestal with her own children. The genuine affection that she pours on my child is heartbreakingly gorgeous and brings me to tears of happiness.

There is no way I can repay her. Period. I could smother her with gifts and admiration every day for the rest of her life and it would not be enough. I hope someday that I can show her a fraction of the warmth that she has shown me. I am so blessed to have a sister so fiercely devoted to Wyatt and myself. She has been my saving grace through all this. She has provided the emotional and practical foundation that makes it possible for me to be a good mom.