Growing Older but Not Up

I am turning 26 on Saturday. I don't bring this up so everyone can wish me a happy birthday and send me gifts. This birthday seems to be creeping up on me rather more offensively then I anticipated. I don't feel that old. I have always had this great fear of 28. It's my scary age. I thought I would have had it all figured out by then. I would have a fabulous career in an office with an amazing view and a husband that cooks for me. I would live in a house with a white picked fence and gardeners to keep it pruned. Our house would have water views and look like something out of a Pottery Barn magazine with deep pocket couches, throw pillows, and hard wood floors. I would have a rich mahogany party planning desk with lots of cubbies for organizing. And no one in the world would starve, gas would be 50 cents per gallon, ATM's would disperse free money, and Lima beans would taste like rainbow sprinkles. Yes, I know, unrealistic. But fantasies are, by definition, unrealistic.

Instead of my suburban nirvana, I have a career that is going no where fast, living in my parents house, single, with a gorgeous baby. Not exactly what I expected but life rarely goes the way you expect it. I have been good about throwing expectations out the window but for some reason 28 is bashing red flags on my head making turning 26 one year closer to the dreaded number. I am especially upset about the career portion. I graduated from a great private university. I am educated, competent, and motivated. I should have a better job; one with potential, responsibility, one that is engaging. Honestly, is that too much to ask?!

I am not complaining. I love my life. I am just having a hard time combining reality with my fantasy in the time span that I allotted for myself. So, in my most recent effort I applied to Grad school. I am thinking that I should become a teacher; a career that would challenge me on a daily basis, feed my addiction for office supplies, and allow for summers off to play with Wyatt. I have always been very proud of my mother for owning her business. To me, she epitomized that modern woman who has a family and is successful. She is business savvy, intelligent, and has the common sense to be competitive in a mans world. Owning the florist is a big undertaking and she does it with grace. I would like Wyatt to be proud of me and my career. If I have to be away from him, I want my absence to be meaningful and respected. I might not have everything figured out by 28 or ever for that matter but I need to start heading in the right direction.