Bump Watch

I haven't posted pictures in a while so I figured it was about time. There is a lot of changing going on and I am literally getting bigger by the second. Beware of the bare belly picture, it is not for the faint of heart. My mom says I look like Olive Oil from Popeye more than ever now. I am just starting my 35 week, that means 5 weeks to go!!! Holy shit!!!

Its officially gone people!!! My belly button has popped inside out. Now, I finally understand how it feels to have an outie. I read in a book the other day that you can use a bandaid or a piece of tape to cover your belly button being seen through your clothes. How weird is that? Yes, it sticks out but I always assumed that it would happen eventually.

Top 2007 Baby Names

The most common baby names of 2007 are in and three of my top names are on that list. I don't quite know how I feel about it. I want my child to have a name that no one else in his class has or at least a name that there are only 2 or 3 of. I have always loved my name but hated that I had to be classified by my last name because there were so many Kates. So, it is a little unnerving that 3 of my top choices are on the 10 top baby names. Maybe I have to do some rethinking. Unfortunately, I have been looking at other names but none have struck me. Well, I still have some time. Any new thoughts out there?

Boy Names....................................................Girl Names

1. Aiden.......................................................... Sophia

2. Ethan........................................................... Isabella

3. Jacob..............................................................Emma

4. Jayden...........................................................Madison

5. Caleb...............................................................Ava

6. Noah.............................................................Addison

7. Jackson............................................................Hailey

8. Jack.............................................................Emily

9. Logan...........................................................Kaitlyn

10. Matthew..........................................................Olivia

Past Tense

I started writing a lot when I was in South Carolina, trying to document my time and experiences down there. Anyway, I recently found something that I wrote on October 19, 2006. I always had in my mind that I have traveled so far. But maybe I haven't traveled as far as I think I have...

I have been thinking a lot about babies. I would never be thinking about babies if I was in NYC, NEVER!!! Life in New York is to exciting for kids. There is too much to do in NY to even consider kids. And the subway with strollers, forget it. However, down here it would be possible. The cost of living is lower, people are happier, you have neighbors that care about you, there are cars and kids are accepted in fancy restaurants. Everyone has kids here and now I have babies on the brain. Stupid, I know, but I can't seem to shake it.

Everyday I meet people with babies. A girl that just applied, she is 24, my age, and her birthday is in March. She has 5 kids. Yes that is right, her kids are 7, 5, 4, 2, and 8 ½ months. Half of me wants to dive into a descriptive lecture about birth control and the other half wants to pat her on the back. At least they are all from the same father. The kicker is that she only makes about $19,000 a year. That is insanity and yet she is well adjusted, loves her kids, feeds them, clothes them, and takes them to the movies. I have met them all and they are good kids, well adjusted, respectful. They say ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’. They call me ‘ma’am’ although I don’t think I am old enough to qualify. Maybe 5 is a little excessive but if she can deal with 5, I can certainly handle one. I am a responsible person. I would always put my child first and me second. With my family to baby-sit when needed, I could be a parent. My list goes on and on…

My girl Bridget has a 14 and 16 year old. The 16 year old just had a baby about a year ago. She is off in New York living with the daddy and Bridget is a grandma at 35. Another homeowner that is making record progress through the program moved to SC from New York with her 2 year old, a suitcase, and a welfare check. She didn’t know how to drive, had no car, no family, nothing but the clothes on her back and her baby. She rented a car and learned to drive from a crippled man. She has been in SC since 1999 and now at 31 she has a job, a family, a life, and is getting a house. I hear some pretty messed up stories. I could write a book about the courageous and malicious people that I encounter everyday. Their stories are heartbreaking and incredible. It makes me think what is really important to me, in my life. What do I want during my life?

Homeowners ask me all the time if I have children. When I tell them no they ask me why not and scrunch up their faces in disbelief. Why not? Because I was raised to value education and children would come later and preferable with a husband. I don’t want to be a parent later on in life like I once thought. I don’t want to be tired. I don’t want to miss out on the good parts of my child’s life because I was 40 and tired. Maybe our parents and grandparents got it right. Maybe we should have kids younger so we can enjoy them. I want to remember every part and I want to be young enough to still remember being a teenager. I want my parents to be able to enjoy grandchildren. My grandparents are still young, they could be grandparents again. I want my family to be young enough to enjoy having children around again. Maybe I am being selfish, I don’t know.

I know that most of my friends from New York probably think I am going crazy and you might be right. When I was in NY I didn’t even know if I wanted children. Maybe I thought I might have one at 35-40 but now my thinking has gone all wacky. It is funny what latitude can do to you. I am not going to start pin holing condoms or stop my birth control. I am not that crazy. But think about it, if you were to die tomorrow what would be your biggest regret be? Mine, that I never had a child. It wouldn’t be about money, success, or fame, not for me. It’s all about the babies.

Caution - Men at Work

I have talked of the affectionately coined "baby suite" that is getting added to our house but I haven't really gone into much detail. When this whole pregnancy thing happened, one of the big questions was "Where were we going to live?" Luckily, my parents (among other very generous offers) came to my rescue and decided to add on a room off the back of our house. I secretly think that they have been wanting to do this for a while but lacked motivation. Well, a pregnant daughter sure can motivate!!!

So far everything has been progressing great, cross your fingers. Adding anything on to an already old house can be challenging and we did not come out unscathed. One major issue that arose was the roof line. To correct it and make it as ascetically pleasing as possible, they had to add on to Rebecca's room on the second floor as well. Believe me, Rebecca is not complaining. It looks amazing, now that it is done, but was traumatizing especially for my father. But all in all, the addition is progressing amazingly thanks to a very task orientated contractor. I would recommend this contractor to anyone. He has been brilliant. When do you ever hear that?! The Bean and I are getting a rather large room with cathedral ceilings and a beautifully renovated bathroom, Rebecca is getting an extra 5 feet in her room and a water view, and my parents are getting the new deck of their dreams. We are all quite happy!

All this construction means that we now have three open door ways that lead into the new portion of the house. I would like to remind you all of how cold it has been lately. Yes, our house is a tundra. Forget putting on your coat to go outside, put it on to come in. They insulated and started the siding this week so it might get a little warmer for the holidays. Forget decorating for Christmas because all of the furniture is moved around and everything gets dusty in about 10 seconds. Suddenly, I am reminded why no body in their right minds do major construction in the middle of winter. But we are on a dead line and February 10th is fast approaching. I am hoping it will be finished by mid-January to give me enough time to move all of our furniture in and decorate. Cross your fingers and send your prayers!!!

Push Harder!!!!

We finished childbirth classes...already. We had to go three Wednesday nights in December. We didn't practice Lamaze or anything. It was more like giving you a lay of the land. Letting us understand what to expect, a tour of the hospital, pain options, a few breathing techniques, breastfeeding, the first few days of life, and that kind of thing. Lizzy and my Mom are my birth coaches since Terry might not make it here in time.

On the tour of the hospital, we were asked to wait outside the labor and delivery rooms while gazing at the sweet newborns. Almost every time the doors opened there were screams of "Push harder!!! 1, 2, 3...". I had no idea that this was an interactive tour. They didn't let us go in and watch the birth but talk about in your face experiences. The best part was the father, waiting on our side of the delivery rooms, white as a sheet. He explained that he was "taking turns" with his mother-in-law coaching his wife through labor. The rooms were pretty small so I can understand where his claustrophobia came from. (They told us at the next class that the baby was born before we left the hospital.) There was another woman in labor, in her hospital gown, pacing the hallway. She looked more annoyed that we were there than in any pain. We decided that she was in the very early stages.

I am not going to lie, it was kinda of terrifying. I know that understanding the labor process will make going through it easier because I will know what to expect. But sometimes I think that maybe not knowing anything would be better. Ignorance is bliss, right?! Lizzy seemed absolutely fine with all of this. She was calm, attentive, and taking everything very seriously. It made me feel like a big wuss that I wasn't handling it well. I am surprised I didn't puke on the floor. Having Lizzy there made me feel like I was being silly worrying about it because she wasn't worried about it. She will be a great coach because regardless of what is going on in her mind, she's got a great poker face.

My Anxiety Runneth Over

I know it is normal to have anxiety but lately there has been a lot of it. I chalk most of it up to first time parent jitters but I distinctly feel that I am over thinking. Honestly, I don't even know if its anxiety or a nervous anticipation. Wait, is that the same thing?

Recently, most of my anxiety lies with the first few days at home. Will I know how to soothe, comfort, and calm a crying baby? Or will I panic, throw my hands up, run out of the room, and hand him to my mom. I'd like to think that I wouldn't do that but I don't know. Will I know how to hold him? Will I understand why he is crying? How to change a diaper? Will I know when he is sick or cold or uncomfortable? How do I place him in his crib to avoid all those weird crib phobias? Will I know how to feed him or how much I am feeding him? I could hyperventilate every day if I thought about it too much. I try not to let myself think about it but usually, in the middle of the night when I'm alone, I can't help it.

I wonder if after 9 months of waiting, preparing, visualizing, and loving this unborn child that I will feel relief to have him in this world. Relief to have my body back or will I panic that he is no longer a part of me? That he is susceptible to the outside world and its occasional ugliness. Or will I get that "What comes next?" attitude. The "OK, now what" syndrome. Or will I be so totally engrossed that my absent mindedness will continue and my only thoughts still focused on him.

Most of all, I want to see him. I want to see who he looks like and takes after. If he does indeed have my nose and Terry's mouth. I want to cradle him in my arms. I want to smell that baby goodness of powder and innocence. To touch his soft delicate skin. Feel his warmth on my chest and a sweaty cheek on my neck. I want to rub the top of his head and play with peach fuzz. I want to see Terry hold him and watch his anxiety melt at the recognition of his son. I want to count his fingers and kiss the bottom of his feet. I am so anxious to see him I could burst.

I think nervous anticipation is the right term. I am nervous about all the things that I don't have experience with. Nervous about the details. But the anticipation of seeing our little man far out weighs my nervousness. I can't believe I have 54 more days of waiting, not that I am counting or anything....

The Wintry Mix

I moved into my cousin Michael's house. With our house under construction, only two livable bedrooms, a plethora of baby supplies, and a thick layer of dust we decided that it was for the best if I slept elsewhere for a while. Michael has an extra bedroom and I was more than willing to allow myself some privacy for a short time.

It snowed, rained, froze, and hailed last night. I was glad that I didn't have to drive far. Pregnant ladies and ice don't really mix. I stopped at the store on my way to Mikes and got brownies and dinner. If I had it my way they would have been eaten in that order. He has this great cottage that overlooks the church. It reminds me of the English countryside that I loved to watch roll by on the bus when I lived there. His cottage even reminds me of my house in Leeds, except cleaner, warmer, and much more inviting. There are little nooks and crannies, closets misshapen in any spare space, hardwood floors, and deep recessed windows to accommodate the think stone walls.

I made our brownies (caramel, walnut brownies) while Michael cooked our dinner of ravioli and garlic bread. I swear I wanted to shove my entire face in that bowl of brownie mix and lap it up. The urge was so strong to lick the bowl, to use my finger as a spatula and get every last inch of batter. Forget baking, lets just eat it raw. I held back because of the raw egg, salmonella, and Mr. Bean. Another thing that will get me though labor. I started making a mental list of things I am unable to eat or drink so that I can binge when he's finally here. There will be feta cheese, wine, caffeinated mocha lattes, brownie batter, and a baby boy in my future. That's motivation for me.

Using all my will power, I waited until the brownies were cooked and had about 5, with a glass of milk to make them nutritious. We sat by the crackling fire and watched a movie while the ice and snow accumulated outside. It was picture perfect. I never thought that I would ever be so happy. Right now, in this moment, despite all the anxiety and upheaval, I am content in my life and the direction it is taking. I find myself smiling at nothing while driving down the road. I am just so happy. Its a good feeling.

Sounds of Your Groove

At lunch I go lay down in my car and listen to music (not so much since its freezing). My Ipod blaring away with one earpiece in my ear and the other on my belly. Sometimes he doesn't react at all and other times he starts freaking out, bouncing from one side of my belly to another, kicking out, dancing. I rub my belly, gently pushing in where he is kicking out and sing. I love having that time to ourselves, my hour of quiet, feeling my son move. My mom laughs that it is prenatal torture but I'd like to think that he likes it.

All the books say that his ears are now fully developed and he can hear what I do only slightly muffled. Some even say that music I play for him in-utero will soothe him in the outside world. I find that fascinating!! Anything that might soothe a crying babe, I will try. So, I made a playlist of songs that I listen to pretty frequently hoping that I might try this theory out. I think I am in need of a few more good songs. I am looking for stuff that is soothing for him but interesting, good music, for me. Any ideas?

This is what I came up with already:

Your Smiling Face - James Taylor
Morning Lullabies - Ingrid Michaelson
This is Heaven to Me - Madeleine Peyroux
You Must have been a Beautiful Baby - Bobby Darin
Today - Joshua Radin
I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
April Showers - Math and Physics Club
From Where I'm Standing - Schuyler Fisk
Lullaby - Dixie Chicks
Dance Tonight - Paul McCartney
Give your Mama One Smile - Madeleine Peyroux
Everything will Be Alright - Joshua Radin
Beautiful Boy - John Lennon
More Love - Dixie Chicks
1234 - Feist
Daydream - John Sebastian

Awe Inspiring

I recently wrote Terry about a sermon I heard but I wanted to share it with all of you as well. The message spoke of God inspiring awe in our lives. That God has created this perfect world for us to take care of and enjoy. We should search out something or someone everyday that makes us step back, take a deep breath, and say 'Wow!' in order to appreciate what God has given our lives. Even if it is a beautiful sunset or a snowfall. The preacher was much more eloquent but that is my three sentence summary.

Most of you know that I am not very religious in the traditional sense of church attendance. But I do try to find time during my day at least to say thanks and acknowledge a greater presence in my life. So, I started thinking about a time pre-pregnancy that I was awe struck. I was thinking and thinking and thinking. I came up with working with Habitat, the people I met, the enthusiasm, the feeling of doing something for the greater good. But for some reason, I thought there should be something more.

My 'something more' came with pregnancy. Everyday I find myself in awe of what is happening to me, my body, and my family. Every time I feel him move inside me, I lose my breath. To become so attached, so quickly, and utterly in awe of a person that I have never met. It is an amazing feeling to know that my body is incubating another. I never had so much respect for my body before. I am awed when I see that tell tale look of pride on my parents face. I am awed that so many people have offered their help, love and support. I am so grateful that I have had the unexpected opportunity to be awed by pregnancy and new life.

This weekend was particularly awesome for me. Rebecca (with the help of some others) planned a spectacular baby shower for Bean on Saturday. It was truly amazing, the details, the effort, the time. I have had my head in this cloud of euphoria every since. I am completely overwhelmed by the entire experience. I have never felt so loved and cared for in my entire life. To know and experience first hand that my support system lies far beyond my family makes me heart-wrenchingly joyous. Being in a room filled with faces that have touched Terry and my lives in miraculous ways and knowing that our child will have all those people as well - I truly don't have the words. (For those that were there, yes, I know I have said that before).

I am awe struck, thunder struck, and all kinds of amazed. You can't even imagine how touched I am by every single one of you and all of your generosity. Seeing our families and friends come together to support and nurture Terry and my decision to have this child was overwhelming for me. I feel so blessed that our child is coming into a world so filled with love and support. My Christmas miracle was all of you. Again, to everyone, thank you, thank you, thank you, you can't even imagine how much this means to me, to Terry, and to Bean.

Bearsy

Our family dog, Bear, passed away on August 15th. She had been with us for almost 16 years. She was a great dog, the best dog really. I get choked up just thinking about her. She was loyal, friendly, reliable, and fit our family to a tee. I have tons of memories of her, as do most of the people that remember her. She was a staple at our house and was always symbolic of coming home to me. She was always so excited when we all were home.

The way we got Bear is a great story. Becca and I really wanted a dog, Lizzy was a newborn at the time. My parents, thinking they were very clever and that we would never pull it off, told us we could get a dog as long as we raised enough money. Once we raised $500, we could get a puppy on one condition, that the dog didn't shed. After receiving our ultimatum, Rebecca and I set to work. We had lemonade stands, rolled coins, collected all of our broken, unused toys, and sold them. We made signs that screamed adorable saying "Saving for a Puppy Sale". Neighbors would actually pull up and hand us $20's. Needless to say, we had the money in about a month. The rents were shocked but couldn't go back on their word. I think it was around October when we came home with Bear, a cockapoo. I was 10, Becca 8, and Lizzy a tender 5 months. Bear was a constant source of joy since the day we brought her home.

I have been dreaming of her a lot lately, quite vividly. Because I see her so often at night I have started looking for her during the day. I will open the back door as to let her in. Or cut up left over meat to feed to her. Or expect her to run around the corner when I come home. It still really hurts when she is not there like an open wound. Its not just me either. My whole family misses her. Our house is just not the same. It always feels like there is someone missing and after having her for 16 years, there is. Mom found Bear's baby (this toy she loved that looked like her) when she was cleaning out the back hall. She wouldn't have done well with all of this construction, all these people mulling about. She would have been very stressed and confused. So, maybe it is for the best that she passed when she did. The same day that I told Terry I was pregnant. Its weird how things work that way.

I was thinking that maybe when Bean gets older, around 2 or 3, we could go to the shelter and get him a dog. A young boy needs a big dog. I loved watching Lizzy grow up with Bear and I think that Bear's friendly temperament had a lot to do with having young children around. It makes me happy thinking about Bean running around the backyard with a puppy. I know it is years away but I don't know if I will be ready to bring another dog into our house. Right now, I am definitely not ready. I don't want another dog. I just want Bear. Maybe when I stop looking for Bear I will know that I am ready for a new dog and not a replacement. For now, its only Bear.

The Mechanics of Flight

Terry tries to call home pretty frequently. But sometimes in lieu of phone calls he sends mass emails to keep us all updated on what he is doing. He sent this one the other day. Its kind of rambling (sorry Ter) but I think gives a somewhat more accurate description of what he is doing over there. This is more for my family and friends that are not on Terry's mass email lists then anything else.

I was on nights the last couple of weeks, so I would fly at night, get home around 5am and sleep all day. It was a wonderful work day however getting back on the day shift is killing me. I have been sick, tired and cold, and add sleep deprivation on top of that I have just been exhausted. A few days ago I was asleep and in a split second I went from a deep sleep to my heart pounding out of my chest when I was awakened by an explosion that sent this huge shock wave through my hut. I swear you could feel the earth cry it was so loud and violent. Immediately after I calmed down I was going to walk outside and check it out, but I was so dam tired I just went back to sleep. Later I learned that the explosion was just our troops setting of a land mine, but at first I didn’t know. I feel a lot better this morning.

Flying nights was a blast. I felt a little safer because we fly completely blacked out (meaning no lights on the aircraft) and we can’t be seen in the sky. But let me tell you it is insanely dark at night. What I discovered while flying at night is that for the most part the basic flying is pretty easy, but what we really get paid to do is land. I can’t describe it, its like hours of boring activity with brief moments of the most intense, adrenaline pumping, horrifying fear. Every muscle in your body just tenses up and its in those moments the way you react is the difference between a good day and disaster. I was doing a sling load (carrying a large 8,000 pound freight container strapped underneath the aircraft) on the side of a mountain, and I browned out (that’s when the helicopter blows all the sand into the air and you just completely loose site of the ground). The best way to describe this is imagine driving down the highway with two toilet roll strapped on your eyes (night vision goggles for me), which gives you no peripheral vision and its like watching a green television screen, when all the sudden someone just completely covers your eyes and you still have to continue to drive. So in a split second you have to react because of all the obstacles around you but you keep your calm so you don’t cause the situation to become tragic. With that large of load strapped to my aircraft we are limited on power, which means if I pull up to hard and fast on the thrust (the thing that makes the helicopter go up and down) I can cause the blades to cone upward because they can not handle the weight, which will then drop the rotors speed and cause my generators to kick offline losing power to the flight control systems and my hydraulic system that is helping me fly. While this is happening I will do something called settling with power, which means you enter a descent that regardless of anything you do you will fall out of the sky and crash. Long story short, is you can’t overreact. And after a few nights, I was like holy sh@t that was nuts. I know I just gave you all a pretty long description, but like I said its hours of boredom followed by the wildest few moments pure insanity. But of course I’m just loving it, I’m learning a lot and getting better every flight. The whole browning out thing is pretty frequent, you never get use to them, but you just try your best and if its outside your comfort level you simply react slowly and get out of there. I have to send some pictures, you can see us kicking up dust upwards of 500 feet.

Winter fell upon us overnight. About a week ago I was having difficulty sleeping when I heard drops hitting my hut. It was 3am and I went outside to see rain for the fist time in 4 months. I just stood there getting wet, it was great, I missed it, the smell, everything about it. But of course later it was just cold and wet. Two days ago when I started flying during the day, I saw for the first time the snow covered mountains. It is unlike anything I have ever seen in my life, it is what I would imagine heaven to be, it is that beautiful. You would never believe there was a war in this country by just looking around at how beautiful this country is. The Afghans believe that when Allah was finished creating the world he gathered what was left threw it down, and that was Afghanistan. It is a rugged terrain, but just breathtaking.

I have really settled down. I received a nice complement from one of my senior soldiers noticing that I seem relaxed lately. I feel like I’m interacting with soldiers much better lately. It’s nice because that means a lot to me, of course I’m always a little bit of an outsider amongst the other officers, I tend to keep to myself, but we all get along really well. So that’s good. My mother sent me some Christmas decorations. I have my little Charlie brown tree in my room and some lights. She even sent me some gifts. Remember when you were younger and you were so excited to get gifts on Christmas morning, and every once in a while you got like socks or underwear and you had to pretend you were happy even though you were just ready to rip into the next real gift? Well let me tell you people, me Madre got me some socks and underwear and I swear it was like I just struck oil or something, I was so excited. I think I’ll be able to use this story with my son when he complains about getting socks, I can say we’ll when I was in Afghanistan I would have killed for some nice socks, and of course I walked to school in the snow uphill both ways. But honestly my life has been reduced to the excitement of putting new socks on my feet which just felt sooooo good. So ya, I got that going for me.

Kate is doing well. The baby is doing well. She sent some pics, but I have no idea what the hell I'm looking at, so I just assume all the parts and pieces are in the right places. She’s really been amazing, always positive, just an extremely impressive person. I still have my occasional anxiety attacks, and I hyperventilate now and again, but I think I’m coming to realize that there are just moments in life, good and bad, that you can’t really plan for, they happen and how you deal with them is what really defines you. So of course I’m still nervous, but I’m trying really hard to follow in my friends footsteps and keep things positive. To be honest, lately I simply try to focus on the most important lesson I’m learning over here, that there will be hard times ahead, I stress out about having a son, getting the right job, paying the rent or mortgage, but you know what, I’ll be alive. No son of bitch trying to knock you out of the sky. If I can just remember that lesson, everything else just seems I don’t know, not as hard. I think of the soldiers I have watched travel down the street in caskets and just think that these hero’s never got to know life again without war, never will see there wife’s, children, and families again, they gave their lives for their country, but lost whatever their lives may have become. If I have that chance, to come home, to see all of you, to have a son in my life, I will not dishonor those who died here by stressing out, when it comes down to it the things that are not all that important. I feel like I owe it to them to make the best out of my life, I can’t explain it, it’s like whether the rest of my life is a success or a failure it will still be gravy. Probably doesn’t make sense does it?

Ignore the Man Behind the Curtian

I am getting to the point where you can actually see my belly moving when the baby is moving. It gets pretty freaky, especially when Bean is in a really rambunctious mood. Kinda reminds me of jello. Watching my stomach has become a favorite thing for my family to do. Well, besides Lizzy, who finds my exposed belly horrifying. The other night Emily, Rebecca, Mom and I decided to see if we could get it on film. It took us a long time. The many videos that came before this one are hysterical. Be patient. You will see him move (right above my belly button), then Rebecca exclaims 'Holy shit' and then I start laughing like crazy. Ignore that part. Also ignore that my belly looks obscenely large. Pretend its not part of my body, that makes it a little better.

To Snip the Tip

I have been thinking a lot about circumcision. This is the first boy in our immediate family and my expertise in baby penis is quite limited. The whole thing has got me concerned. I think for the most part boys are circumcised in the US. Going with that logic, I would hate to see our little man look any different or cause any unnecessary anxiety in the locker room. However, putting my child, before he has the will to say otherwise, through a unnecessary surgery has got me all bothered.

So, I have been reading up on it and ashamed to admit googling it with Becca and Em. To my surprise, circumcision has been dwindling in the US. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, 65% of all newborn boys are circumcised in the US. Some parents are opting to leave their baby boys Au Nauturale because there are no medical benefits for the child. Some argue that it is socially or culturally necessary but there is no proven medical necessity.

I am going to rest this decision on Terry's very capable sholders. He is the one with the penis and has a much stronger opinion on this than I do. No ifs, ands, or buts, he thinks circumcise. Ultimately, Bean is a boy and will love his penis no matter what we decide to do with it. But I am definitely going to leave this for Daddy.