Radiator Springs

Mater's junkyard jamboree.  These things looked innocent but they kinda packed a punch.  Wyatt was sliding around in that bench like crazy.  Almost gave him whiplash.  But he wanted to ride it again after.  He is so going on roller coasters with me when he gets older.

Waiting for the Car ride.  Those are suppose to be thumbs up.  We're working on it.  He was mildly concerned because he wanted to ride in a Lightening car and a blue car pulled up then (thankfully) drove away.  We got a red one!

 Mid-day the kid passed out.  We were on line for Its a Small World and he just fell asleep in Becca's arms.  Then slept through the entire loud and raucous parade.  Exactly like he did when he was 2 in Disney World.  Maybe he just doesn't like parades.

Luigi's flying tire ride was not what I expected at all.  I thought it was going to be all Alices Tea Cups.  The best way to describe it is like a air hockey table.  You sit in these huge tires that get air pumped beneath them, then you use your body weight to make it move.  They go terribly slow.  But its a ride I have never seen before so it was still fun. 

Red photo op!  They had all the major characters around and all of their eyes moved which was neat. This was Wyatt's standard pose for everything.  I asked his about it eventually and he said its his "Clutch Powers" pose.  Clutch Powers is this cocky Lego animated guys that always has his hands on his hips.  Armpits, hips, eh, close enough.

Let's Go Lego

On our way to LegoLand.  Seriously, could this kid be any cuter or any more excited?  I think not.

Some of the brilliance that was Lego mini-land.  A life-sized Lego R2D2.  How do they do that?  And I wonder if it is just the facade or if its sold Legos.

More mini-land.  Yes, that is the NY skyline.

Wyatt had a heart attack when this guy walked out.  These Hero Factory things are his favorite right now.  He could not believe that this guy was standing next to him. "Mom!  I know his name!  I really know his name!"

La La La Jipsac

I don't really know where to start.  Our trip was amazing.  From start to finish.  Wyatt was so enchantingly well-behaved with the plane rides, the over stimulation that was numerous theme parks, time changes, and his mothers secret agenda of relaxing.  Hayley was so kind to let us occupy her bedroom, fill her home with lucky charms and bacon (for a vegetarian that's pretty drastic), spent hours building elaborate sand castles, and was so game to be dragged to numerous theme parks.  Rebecca was, as always, my support system, patiently waiting with Wyatt while I sorted out rental cars, playing endless Legos and generally being the amazing Aunt that she is.  Seriously, I didn't want to leave.

Hayley had said that she needed to work on Friday, so Bec and I planned on taking Wyatt to LegoLand.  I wasn't sure how Wyatt was going to do with the time difference but I figured he could sleep on the 2 hour drive there and back, which he did.  Of course, Hayley couldn't stand to be left out of such a great adventure and decided to come.  I have to say, Wyatt was thrilled, however we weren't fooled as much. It is a great theme park just not quite up to par with Disney magic. We did have a really great time and the joy on Wyatt's face was well worth it.  We had a disappointing competition with 8 year olds on a fire truck mission.  We were fairly confident that we were going to beat the pants off of everyone considering it was 3 adults against children.  I still blame our last place loss on a truck malfunction.  The water park was fun and we got Wyatt to ride on the pirate log flume.  He said he didn't mind that it went fast but he didn't like all the water in his eyes.  Hayley lost her underwear and had to go commando for the rest of the trip.  Really Hay, in a kids theme park?  (Just kidding.)  The Lego mini-lands, which were models of well known cities made out of Lego's were pretty impressive and expansive.  We also caught this fire fighting show that (I am not sure how it tied into the Lego theme) had this incredibly annoying theme song "Put the wet stuff on the hot stuff" that Wyatt still sings.

We spent a good two days at the beach which was 2 blocks from Hayley's house.  Wyatt loves the ocean from all our beach days down at Jen's and we have become quite seasoned.  He could stay there all day. Our last day, he got sunburn on his butt crack (literally thee ONE place I didn't put SPF 70) because he was laying on his belly playing in the sand for most of the day.  His poor little butt.  I still can't quite describe what the ocean does to me.  Yes, we live on the water but there is something about the vastness, the crash of the waves, the smell of the salt spray, the feel of soft sand between your toes, that just makes me relax.  It feels like home.  I am glad that Wyatt loves it as much as I do.

It was also on our second day, when we got back to the house, that Wyatt proclaimed "It smells like old jipsac in here."Of course, none of us knew what he was talking about.  And he kept on saying it, determined to get us to understand.  Finally he showed a clip of one of his movies to Rebecca.  What he was trying to say was "It smells like old gym socks."  "See Auntie B.  They say gym socks but I like to say jipsac."  Yes Wyatt of course you do.  I don't know what it is about the word jipsac that makes me instantly crack up.  Maybe because it sounds a little dirtier then it should.  Or the way it just kind of rolls off the tongue.  Either way, it became the running joke and sure fire way to make anyone crack up.  We called each other jipsac's all week.  Even Wyatt got in on the action with a well timed "It smells like jipsac in here." during a quiet moment in the car.  There were silent texts to one another.  And "Oh he looks like a jipsac" when we were at the bars.  Or a "What is this jipsac?" at the gift shop. Really, it is just so all-purpose.  And I swear as soon as Hay and I had a beer in us, Rebecca was the FUNNIEST JIPSAC ON THE PLANET.  No joke.

Then the pinnacle of the trip, Disney!  Ohh the joy.  Ohh the wonder.  Ohh the instant happy.  How do they do it?  Carsland really was pretty magic.  They did an excellent job at recreating the Radiator Springs main drag which put you right in the movie.  There were only 3 rides but 3 very good rides so I guess its ok.  The Cars racers did a re-cap of the entire movie, complete with animated talking cars that were real as hell.  It was crazy good.  Then there was a little race at the end that wasn't roller coaster, but wasn't a carousal either.  Also, did I mention that this park sold beer?  When your at Disney for 12 hours straight beer makes it so much better.  Wyatt was impressed by Cars but he LOVED Tomorrowland Star Tours and all the Star Wars stuff.  He really believed we were in outer-space with 3CPO and he really thought that guy dressed up was Darth Vader.  10 minutes later, he really thought we were in a submarine swimming with Nemo.  Everything was so worth it to see his face all lit up.  Best. Trip. Ever.  Maybe until we go to the Dominican Republic in 2 weeks.  Yeah, 30 is starting off real good.

Earning His Name

In the Next 30 Years

So, I am turning 30 tomorrow.  I have to admit it is a daunting number.  Made harder because I am not where I thought I would be at 30.  I don't know many people who's lives are exactly the way they planned them or are exactly where they thought they would be.  Actually, I can't think of one.  And maybe it is better that way.  Maybe if you live your best life everyday, the planning just doesn't matter so much.  I like that thought.  Stop planning, stop searching, stop thinking.  Just live a happy life.  I think I am doing a pretty damn good job of that.

Wow. 30. Do I actually want to admit that I am a little excited to what the next 10 years will bring.  My 20's were so filled with anxiety.  Anxiety about leaving college, getting a real job, relationships, financial independence, who I was, my next move, then the joy and test that was Wyatt.  Its just SO much. I have this great hope that my 30's aren't going to be like that.  That its going to be about loving myself, loving others, being happy with who I am and where I am.  I am sure there will be hardships but I am content and hopefully to put some of those old anxieties to rest.  I am excited at what lies ahead for me and for Wyatt.

To start off my next thirty years, Wyatt, Rebecca and I are taking to the skies.  Yes, tomorrow, the day I turn 30, we are headed to California for a week.  Hayley is so graciously allowing us to crash and Delta so graciously offered cheap last minute tickets.  What's to think about really?  On the agenda: Legoland (like RIGHT NOW!!  Wyatt is BESIDE himself!!), Cars-Land in Disney, the beach, some booze, some friends, and hopefully some glorious sunshine.  Not a bad way to start a decade.

Catch ya on the flip side!

Let's Go Mets!

53 Months

Bud,

This was the month of summer camp!!  Oh my beloved past time!  I can't wait to ship you off to overnight summer camp.  Wait.  That came out wrong.  I meant that I have some of most fond memories of sleepover camps.  So much fun.  I want you to have all that fun.  Me?!  Oh, I'd just sit around twiddling my thumbs.  (Probably with some sangria! haha)  Anyway, yes, camp.  First was at St. Gerts but it was only 2 weeks.  You love this camp.  I wish they did it all summer long.  There was a Saturday in there that I think you were actually disappointed that you had to stay home with me.  I just loved how everything was so storybook at St. Gerts.  You would read a book about fishes.  Then make a craft about fishes.  Then play a fish water game outside.  It was definitely a learning program.  And, of course, all the teachers raved about you.  You walk in the first day and said "Hi, I'm Wyatt.  Renember me?" They were practically begging me to bring you there full time.

You are at camp now with the town.  Its a little lame, not going to lie.  But you seem to enjoy it.  Every time I have been there to peek, it just seems like you play Duck, Duck, Goose or Tag.  I guess you are socializing though.  On the first day, there were about 30 kids and you didn't know a single person.  I signed you in and we sat by a tree for a minute.  I started talking to this little girl and sent you to say hello to a little boy who was standing my himself.

"Hi"

"Hi"

"My name is Wyatt.  What's yours?"

"Liam"

"Wanna play?"  And then you turn and look a me, rubbing your hands with excitement.  "Mom, you can go now."  You actually had the audacity to look a little annoyed that I was still there.  My little social butterfly.

You also started swim lessons at the beach.  I have no-so-fond memories of swim lessons at low tide.  So I checked some tide charts and got you signed up for high tides.  You were so freaking excited for your first lesson.  You are generally not afraid of the water.  You will go right in anywhere.  However, you do know that Long Beach has big waves and you like to stay close by me.  And you are super confident at our home beach and pools with your life jacket on.  You do well swimming without but I have to be right near you.  You still need some help sometimes.  So after a few introductory games, the instructors asked if anyone could put their heads underwater.  Your hand shot up.  And full face, in you go.  I have NEVER seen you INTENTIONALLY go under water.  And there you go.  Like an old pro.  Then jump up like "WTF was that!!!"  But really.  You took it like a champ.  Wiped your eyes off and didn't even look up for me.  Kid, your amazing.  No doubt about it.

Gammy and Pa thought it would be a good idea to break out our trusty canoe the other evening at high tide.  We have had this this for a good 15 years and I don't think it has seen the water in the last 5.  I was convinced it wasn't sea-worthy but sure, lets do it!  You were really excited but somewhere down the line you got canoe mixed up with kayak.  So what you were telling everyone you were going out on sounded something like "ky-hugh".

"Hey Gianna!  I'm going on a kyhugh!"

"A what?"

"A kyhugh!!!"  Then you would get frustrated that no one could understand you but every time we corrected you, you would still stick to kyhugh.  You loved the ride and when you got home I asked you how you liked the canoe.  "Mom, it was better than Jesus."  That must have been a pretty amazing canoe ride!

You asked Pa the other day what happened to his dad.  Pa told you that he lived a very long happy life and then he died.  (Because thats what Pa does, just lays it out there.  He also told you that he got buried.  Great thing to tell a 4 year old, surely)  He then said that Pop-pops lives in our heads as memories of the times we had together.  Of course this conversation lead to days of questions.  But overall, I think you pulled something pretty amazing out of it.  You told me that people who we love but died live in our head.  But people who are alive but just not home live in our hearts so they are always with us.  Pretty damn insightful, if you ask me.  Yes Wyatt, you are always in my heart.  Whether you are 2 inches away from me or 2 miles.  You will always be my heart.

I love you everyday,

Mom

Summer Sunshine

Wyatt One Liners - the Miraculous Body

I walk in the den to find Wyatt watching YouTube on the computer.  When I look again I can see one hand on his hand and the other down his pants.  "Wyatt, what are you doing?"
"Mom, look!  I can pat my head, touch my penis and watch YouTube at the same time."
"Congratulations, kiddo."

Wyatt and I are laying in my bed watching TV with my arm around his little body.  He comes to snuggle closer and starts staring at my armpit.  "What's up bud?"
"What's that brown stuff?'
"Hair.  When you grow up, you grow hair in weird places.  Like your armpits and legs."
"Oh, cool." And goes back to his tv show.

Sometimes we play a game where I pretend he is not my Wyatt because my Wyatt is a baby.  We go over all the reasons why he can't possibly be my baby because he can walk or run or use the potty.  So the other night he is standing in front of me, naked, rattling off the entire families full names and then our address and phone number.  Finally he gets so frustrated he starts yelling "You know me!  This is my face.  These are my hands.  And my feet.  And my belly.  And this is my penis!"  Now that all the basic body parts are covered.  Yes, you're my Wyatt.

Wyatt is in the bath being very interested in his penis and I am trying not to notice.  I'm ok if he needs to explore a little.  "Mom, what are these hard, round things by my penis?"
"Well, they give your body what it needs to make you a boy."  (Am I just suppose to say, hey kid their your balls?!?)
"What does it need?"
"There is a thing called hormones.  Everyone has them and they live in their body.  Yours get made down there."
"Where do yours get made?"
"Ahh, in my neck."
"How do the hormones get in there?  (Maybe if I ignore him he will stop asking questions.) Can I get the hormones out?  Do the come out when I pee?  Why goes it get so veiny when I squeeze them?"
"Uhhh, I'll be right back."  He is just too smart.  So, I fled.  Sometimes there is just no end to his questions and I definitely was stumped on how to answer them.  I went and got a glass of water and when I came back he was onto something else. THANK GOD.

We are watching America's Funniest Home Videos (or Riduculiousness or Winter Wipeout or something in that vein.  I am a little bit obsessed with shows like that.  Embarrassingly.)  I am laughing so hard I am crying.  (Also totally normal.)  Wyatt is looking at me a little concerned.  Finally he asks "Mom, are you going to pee or throw up?"  Of course, this gets me laughing more.

Gamma-Lamma

Happy Birthday Gammy!  Hope you like the Kindle Wyatt told you about weeks ago!

Wex Wusther and Iron Man

52 Months

Bud,

You have been such a happy boy lately.  Yes, you are always a happy, go-lucky kind of kid but you've been totally amped up happy lately.  I can't really put my finger on why.  Gammy thinks it is because I have been so happy lately.  I can't put my finger on why I have been so happy lately.  Things are just looking up I guess.  I am checking things off our to-do-list and that's always a good feeling.  The weather's nice?  Point is: I found you dancing in the den the other day.  By yourself.  With no music on.  You were dancing to the music in your head.  And it was happy.  So, I decided to dance with you. We are no music dancing happy people.

You both look grumpy and its old.  But it is
Aunt Wizzie's 21st today.  Happy Birthday!!

So with all your happiness and your amazing imagination, the other night I wasn't very surprise when you came up with an imaginary friend Ambus.  Or his nickname Davis.  Its the same person.  He just has a nickname, you explained.  You held Ambus/Davis's hand going upstairs to bed.  Ambus/Davis picked out books that you would never have picked out.  Ambus/Davis talked all about his High's and Low's for the day, something that you are becoming short and impatient with.  Most nights when I ask you say "I'm already asleep" and then pretend to snore.  Ambus/Davis hasn't made another appearance since that night but I'm kinda hoping he will. Some days you are very talkative and others you insist that you "don't remember." But I'll get little details throughout the day. Ambus/Davis kept on talking and talking and not just about super hero stuff!

Ah, the super hero phase.  Yes we have definitely entered into it and I definitely don't know how I feel about it.  It started with Max at school liking Spiderman. You played Spiderman at the playground, shooting webs at each other but not understanding anymore then that.  Then you wanted a Lego Hero Factory guy. (If you don't know what they are, they are build-able hero robots from outer space that protect earth from bad army robots. Boys favorite things all rolled into one.  It makes NO sense. Lego are marketing geniuses.)  Gammy made the mistake of buying you one.  Then I made the mistake of letting you watch the Super Hero Squad Show.  Its been down hill ever since.  You are very articulate in your Hero imaginings and make up quite elaborate plots which is very adorable.  But I have been noticing a little more violence coming out.  Not directed at anybody.  But your Lego guys will blow up one another.  Or you need a bow and arrow for your pretend hero costume. I am torn between being concerned and letting you be a little boy. Karate chopping Hero Factory guys can get a little rough but thats what their for right?  As long as you're not karate chopping your friends, I think I'm ok with it.

We said goodbye to Dada this month.  He is off on another tour in Afghanistan.  We both were at a loss at how to prepare you for this.  You are too young to really understand the concept of time, a minute might as well be a month or vice versa.  And distance.  You think a long, long car ride is when we have to go on the highway, which could be anything over 20 minutes.  You have the right words to describe where Dada is but I'm not sure you understand what they mean or why he has left.  You say Dada is overseas or he lives in Afghanistan now.  When we pass his house you say hi to everyone, including Dada far, far away.  You say he is flying his helicopter.  But I'm just not sure.  We will all just have to ride out the storm.

You finished another year of pre-school.  Your teachers totally love you and you are so ready for a more concentrated program.  You are going to stay at St. John's in September but will be going 5 days a week.  You are so ready. You are so smart but definitely need some work with your numbers and letters.  They sent you home with a bunch of pictures throughout the year with your friends.  I didn't feel like you grew that much this year.  But looking at those pictures you can really see your transformation from toddler into boy. You are changing everyday.  It made me kind of teary eyed to think you will only be there for one more year.  What am I going to do when I can't peek at you on the playground while I am at work?  Because I do.  Everyday.  You have no idea.

I love you every day,
Momma

Best One Yet

mtn jam

I dropped Wyatt off at school at 9am on Friday.  He seemed barely phased that I was leaving.  Even told his teachers "Momma's going camping.  But its not for kids camping."  They both looked at me with raised eyebrows.  One of them told me to "Be good!  Have fun!" on my way out, like I was an 18 year old.  Wyatt gave me a hug and turned away.  I think I expected it to be more ceremonious. I wanted to linger. Give him another extra long hug but I forced myself to turn and walk away.  The bigger my fuss, the bigger his fuss.  I kept on thinking of going back but thought better of it.  My therapist was convinced I was going to cry but I didn't.  Go me.  As I pulled away, I took a deep breath and put him in the back of my mind.  He was in excellent hands.  They would call me if there was a problem.  "Just relax" I told myself.  "Have fun. You deserve a good break every 5 years."

By 3pm, we were unpacking our tent and gear with a cold beer in our hands.  By 6pm, we were listening to Gary Clark Jr, then the Roots and Gov't Mule.  It rained a lot but that's what rain gear is for.  What's the point of being a dirty hippie all weekend if there's no mud!?  And there definitely were some hippies.  Where do they live all the time?  Or are they bankers and lawyers that break out their mexican poncho's, Birkenstocks, joints and dreads on the weekends?  I can't remember the last time I saw that many dreads.  There were these bunch of (gorgeous) girls who were quite proficient in the hulu-hoop.  Where does one go to learn that?  Are there classes?  Do-it-yourself DVD's you can watch at home?  Seriously, they were REALLY good.

On Saturday, we woke up early and then I took a nap before we went down to the concerts.  Like a legit nap, people.  We were drinking with lunch and I decided to lay down for a while.  Because I could.  Because I didn't have to worry about anyone but myself.  I can't even describe how cool that feeling was. Poop when I want to.  Sleep when I want to.  Eat when I feel hungry.  It has been 5 years which I think why it was such a novel experience.  Don't get me wrong, I love Wyatt.  I love my life.  I wouldn't change anything but having this little respite, a little chance just to be myself for a while was liberating, enlightening, refreshing.

First up was Zach Deputy, then my lovely nap, then The Word, Givers, and Ben Folds Five.  I love Ben Folds Five. For years. I would have gone just to see them.  They were amazing.  Literally, I almost peed in my pants (like only a true mother can) when they started playing "Kate".  Best moment ever.  Jen said that normally I am 95% happy but when I was there I was 167% happy.  If I was like that all the time she wouldn't be my friend.  I told her I probably wouldn't be my friend either.  We drank a lot.  We danced a lot.  We ate a lot. My phone ran out of battery on Saturday night and I left it until Sunday afternoon. It might not seem like a big deal but for me its huge.  I am not attached to my phone but when I am away from Wyatt, I am.

We packed up Sunday morning, planning on cleaning up camp then catching some more concerts and heading home around 7ish.  We caught Trombone Shorty (hello first seat trombone in HS), the Carolina Chocolate Drops (who played cow bones and washboards), Tedeshi Trucks Band, Dawes and some of Michael Franti. I loved Dawes but I kept finding myself looking at my watch.  Was their set going to be over soon?  When are we starting our ride home?  It had nothing to do with the rain and everything to do with getting to see Wyatt before he went to sleep.

Wyatt was asleep when I got home.  But he was just the same as I had left him; safe, happy and loved. Mom said he had one brief moment where he was upset during a thunderstorm and was concerned that momma was camping but smooth sailing otherwise.  He smiled and hugged me in the morning.  I am so grateful and happy that I got that time but I was just as happy to come home.

Off We Go

I am leaving tomorrow for a weekend camping/music adventure in upstate NY.  Without Wyatt.  I will be gone from Friday morning until Sunday night.  It is the longest time I will have ever left Wyatt, to date.  Ever.  60 potential hours of freedom.  I am feeling apprehensive about it but also wildly excited.  Its a weird land to be in.  Total opposites.  I'll be excitedly hopping around packing, looking forward to being a dirty hippie one minute to squeezing Wyatt so hard he can barely breathe and wondering what cute things I am going to miss the next.

He'll be fine.  In the loving care of 4 grown adults with "no rules cause Momma's away."  With all the attention my family will throw at him, I doubt he will even know I am away.

Then again, he tried to convince me to bring him with me today.  We were shopping for supplies:
"Momma, where are you going camping?"
"Hunter, NY.  Its on a mountain."
"I love camping!"
"Yeah I know you do, bud.  But this time its not really for kids."
"Most kids can't go because they can't climb the mountain but I can!  I climb mountains when we go cut christmas trees."
"I know you do. But our tent is too little."
"We have another tent. We can bring 2 tents!"
"Maybe bud. Maybe"

When we got home he wanted ice cream for dinner because there are no rules.  "Not yet bud. Not yet."

More to come.  Hopefully, much, much more.