Let's Go Mets!

53 Months

Bud,

This was the month of summer camp!!  Oh my beloved past time!  I can't wait to ship you off to overnight summer camp.  Wait.  That came out wrong.  I meant that I have some of most fond memories of sleepover camps.  So much fun.  I want you to have all that fun.  Me?!  Oh, I'd just sit around twiddling my thumbs.  (Probably with some sangria! haha)  Anyway, yes, camp.  First was at St. Gerts but it was only 2 weeks.  You love this camp.  I wish they did it all summer long.  There was a Saturday in there that I think you were actually disappointed that you had to stay home with me.  I just loved how everything was so storybook at St. Gerts.  You would read a book about fishes.  Then make a craft about fishes.  Then play a fish water game outside.  It was definitely a learning program.  And, of course, all the teachers raved about you.  You walk in the first day and said "Hi, I'm Wyatt.  Renember me?" They were practically begging me to bring you there full time.

You are at camp now with the town.  Its a little lame, not going to lie.  But you seem to enjoy it.  Every time I have been there to peek, it just seems like you play Duck, Duck, Goose or Tag.  I guess you are socializing though.  On the first day, there were about 30 kids and you didn't know a single person.  I signed you in and we sat by a tree for a minute.  I started talking to this little girl and sent you to say hello to a little boy who was standing my himself.

"Hi"

"Hi"

"My name is Wyatt.  What's yours?"

"Liam"

"Wanna play?"  And then you turn and look a me, rubbing your hands with excitement.  "Mom, you can go now."  You actually had the audacity to look a little annoyed that I was still there.  My little social butterfly.

You also started swim lessons at the beach.  I have no-so-fond memories of swim lessons at low tide.  So I checked some tide charts and got you signed up for high tides.  You were so freaking excited for your first lesson.  You are generally not afraid of the water.  You will go right in anywhere.  However, you do know that Long Beach has big waves and you like to stay close by me.  And you are super confident at our home beach and pools with your life jacket on.  You do well swimming without but I have to be right near you.  You still need some help sometimes.  So after a few introductory games, the instructors asked if anyone could put their heads underwater.  Your hand shot up.  And full face, in you go.  I have NEVER seen you INTENTIONALLY go under water.  And there you go.  Like an old pro.  Then jump up like "WTF was that!!!"  But really.  You took it like a champ.  Wiped your eyes off and didn't even look up for me.  Kid, your amazing.  No doubt about it.

Gammy and Pa thought it would be a good idea to break out our trusty canoe the other evening at high tide.  We have had this this for a good 15 years and I don't think it has seen the water in the last 5.  I was convinced it wasn't sea-worthy but sure, lets do it!  You were really excited but somewhere down the line you got canoe mixed up with kayak.  So what you were telling everyone you were going out on sounded something like "ky-hugh".

"Hey Gianna!  I'm going on a kyhugh!"

"A what?"

"A kyhugh!!!"  Then you would get frustrated that no one could understand you but every time we corrected you, you would still stick to kyhugh.  You loved the ride and when you got home I asked you how you liked the canoe.  "Mom, it was better than Jesus."  That must have been a pretty amazing canoe ride!

You asked Pa the other day what happened to his dad.  Pa told you that he lived a very long happy life and then he died.  (Because thats what Pa does, just lays it out there.  He also told you that he got buried.  Great thing to tell a 4 year old, surely)  He then said that Pop-pops lives in our heads as memories of the times we had together.  Of course this conversation lead to days of questions.  But overall, I think you pulled something pretty amazing out of it.  You told me that people who we love but died live in our head.  But people who are alive but just not home live in our hearts so they are always with us.  Pretty damn insightful, if you ask me.  Yes Wyatt, you are always in my heart.  Whether you are 2 inches away from me or 2 miles.  You will always be my heart.

I love you everyday,

Mom

Summer Sunshine

Wyatt One Liners - the Miraculous Body

I walk in the den to find Wyatt watching YouTube on the computer.  When I look again I can see one hand on his hand and the other down his pants.  "Wyatt, what are you doing?"
"Mom, look!  I can pat my head, touch my penis and watch YouTube at the same time."
"Congratulations, kiddo."

Wyatt and I are laying in my bed watching TV with my arm around his little body.  He comes to snuggle closer and starts staring at my armpit.  "What's up bud?"
"What's that brown stuff?'
"Hair.  When you grow up, you grow hair in weird places.  Like your armpits and legs."
"Oh, cool." And goes back to his tv show.

Sometimes we play a game where I pretend he is not my Wyatt because my Wyatt is a baby.  We go over all the reasons why he can't possibly be my baby because he can walk or run or use the potty.  So the other night he is standing in front of me, naked, rattling off the entire families full names and then our address and phone number.  Finally he gets so frustrated he starts yelling "You know me!  This is my face.  These are my hands.  And my feet.  And my belly.  And this is my penis!"  Now that all the basic body parts are covered.  Yes, you're my Wyatt.

Wyatt is in the bath being very interested in his penis and I am trying not to notice.  I'm ok if he needs to explore a little.  "Mom, what are these hard, round things by my penis?"
"Well, they give your body what it needs to make you a boy."  (Am I just suppose to say, hey kid their your balls?!?)
"What does it need?"
"There is a thing called hormones.  Everyone has them and they live in their body.  Yours get made down there."
"Where do yours get made?"
"Ahh, in my neck."
"How do the hormones get in there?  (Maybe if I ignore him he will stop asking questions.) Can I get the hormones out?  Do the come out when I pee?  Why goes it get so veiny when I squeeze them?"
"Uhhh, I'll be right back."  He is just too smart.  So, I fled.  Sometimes there is just no end to his questions and I definitely was stumped on how to answer them.  I went and got a glass of water and when I came back he was onto something else. THANK GOD.

We are watching America's Funniest Home Videos (or Riduculiousness or Winter Wipeout or something in that vein.  I am a little bit obsessed with shows like that.  Embarrassingly.)  I am laughing so hard I am crying.  (Also totally normal.)  Wyatt is looking at me a little concerned.  Finally he asks "Mom, are you going to pee or throw up?"  Of course, this gets me laughing more.

Gamma-Lamma

Happy Birthday Gammy!  Hope you like the Kindle Wyatt told you about weeks ago!

Wex Wusther and Iron Man

52 Months

Bud,

You have been such a happy boy lately.  Yes, you are always a happy, go-lucky kind of kid but you've been totally amped up happy lately.  I can't really put my finger on why.  Gammy thinks it is because I have been so happy lately.  I can't put my finger on why I have been so happy lately.  Things are just looking up I guess.  I am checking things off our to-do-list and that's always a good feeling.  The weather's nice?  Point is: I found you dancing in the den the other day.  By yourself.  With no music on.  You were dancing to the music in your head.  And it was happy.  So, I decided to dance with you. We are no music dancing happy people.

You both look grumpy and its old.  But it is
Aunt Wizzie's 21st today.  Happy Birthday!!

So with all your happiness and your amazing imagination, the other night I wasn't very surprise when you came up with an imaginary friend Ambus.  Or his nickname Davis.  Its the same person.  He just has a nickname, you explained.  You held Ambus/Davis's hand going upstairs to bed.  Ambus/Davis picked out books that you would never have picked out.  Ambus/Davis talked all about his High's and Low's for the day, something that you are becoming short and impatient with.  Most nights when I ask you say "I'm already asleep" and then pretend to snore.  Ambus/Davis hasn't made another appearance since that night but I'm kinda hoping he will. Some days you are very talkative and others you insist that you "don't remember." But I'll get little details throughout the day. Ambus/Davis kept on talking and talking and not just about super hero stuff!

Ah, the super hero phase.  Yes we have definitely entered into it and I definitely don't know how I feel about it.  It started with Max at school liking Spiderman. You played Spiderman at the playground, shooting webs at each other but not understanding anymore then that.  Then you wanted a Lego Hero Factory guy. (If you don't know what they are, they are build-able hero robots from outer space that protect earth from bad army robots. Boys favorite things all rolled into one.  It makes NO sense. Lego are marketing geniuses.)  Gammy made the mistake of buying you one.  Then I made the mistake of letting you watch the Super Hero Squad Show.  Its been down hill ever since.  You are very articulate in your Hero imaginings and make up quite elaborate plots which is very adorable.  But I have been noticing a little more violence coming out.  Not directed at anybody.  But your Lego guys will blow up one another.  Or you need a bow and arrow for your pretend hero costume. I am torn between being concerned and letting you be a little boy. Karate chopping Hero Factory guys can get a little rough but thats what their for right?  As long as you're not karate chopping your friends, I think I'm ok with it.

We said goodbye to Dada this month.  He is off on another tour in Afghanistan.  We both were at a loss at how to prepare you for this.  You are too young to really understand the concept of time, a minute might as well be a month or vice versa.  And distance.  You think a long, long car ride is when we have to go on the highway, which could be anything over 20 minutes.  You have the right words to describe where Dada is but I'm not sure you understand what they mean or why he has left.  You say Dada is overseas or he lives in Afghanistan now.  When we pass his house you say hi to everyone, including Dada far, far away.  You say he is flying his helicopter.  But I'm just not sure.  We will all just have to ride out the storm.

You finished another year of pre-school.  Your teachers totally love you and you are so ready for a more concentrated program.  You are going to stay at St. John's in September but will be going 5 days a week.  You are so ready. You are so smart but definitely need some work with your numbers and letters.  They sent you home with a bunch of pictures throughout the year with your friends.  I didn't feel like you grew that much this year.  But looking at those pictures you can really see your transformation from toddler into boy. You are changing everyday.  It made me kind of teary eyed to think you will only be there for one more year.  What am I going to do when I can't peek at you on the playground while I am at work?  Because I do.  Everyday.  You have no idea.

I love you every day,
Momma

Best One Yet

mtn jam

I dropped Wyatt off at school at 9am on Friday.  He seemed barely phased that I was leaving.  Even told his teachers "Momma's going camping.  But its not for kids camping."  They both looked at me with raised eyebrows.  One of them told me to "Be good!  Have fun!" on my way out, like I was an 18 year old.  Wyatt gave me a hug and turned away.  I think I expected it to be more ceremonious. I wanted to linger. Give him another extra long hug but I forced myself to turn and walk away.  The bigger my fuss, the bigger his fuss.  I kept on thinking of going back but thought better of it.  My therapist was convinced I was going to cry but I didn't.  Go me.  As I pulled away, I took a deep breath and put him in the back of my mind.  He was in excellent hands.  They would call me if there was a problem.  "Just relax" I told myself.  "Have fun. You deserve a good break every 5 years."

By 3pm, we were unpacking our tent and gear with a cold beer in our hands.  By 6pm, we were listening to Gary Clark Jr, then the Roots and Gov't Mule.  It rained a lot but that's what rain gear is for.  What's the point of being a dirty hippie all weekend if there's no mud!?  And there definitely were some hippies.  Where do they live all the time?  Or are they bankers and lawyers that break out their mexican poncho's, Birkenstocks, joints and dreads on the weekends?  I can't remember the last time I saw that many dreads.  There were these bunch of (gorgeous) girls who were quite proficient in the hulu-hoop.  Where does one go to learn that?  Are there classes?  Do-it-yourself DVD's you can watch at home?  Seriously, they were REALLY good.

On Saturday, we woke up early and then I took a nap before we went down to the concerts.  Like a legit nap, people.  We were drinking with lunch and I decided to lay down for a while.  Because I could.  Because I didn't have to worry about anyone but myself.  I can't even describe how cool that feeling was. Poop when I want to.  Sleep when I want to.  Eat when I feel hungry.  It has been 5 years which I think why it was such a novel experience.  Don't get me wrong, I love Wyatt.  I love my life.  I wouldn't change anything but having this little respite, a little chance just to be myself for a while was liberating, enlightening, refreshing.

First up was Zach Deputy, then my lovely nap, then The Word, Givers, and Ben Folds Five.  I love Ben Folds Five. For years. I would have gone just to see them.  They were amazing.  Literally, I almost peed in my pants (like only a true mother can) when they started playing "Kate".  Best moment ever.  Jen said that normally I am 95% happy but when I was there I was 167% happy.  If I was like that all the time she wouldn't be my friend.  I told her I probably wouldn't be my friend either.  We drank a lot.  We danced a lot.  We ate a lot. My phone ran out of battery on Saturday night and I left it until Sunday afternoon. It might not seem like a big deal but for me its huge.  I am not attached to my phone but when I am away from Wyatt, I am.

We packed up Sunday morning, planning on cleaning up camp then catching some more concerts and heading home around 7ish.  We caught Trombone Shorty (hello first seat trombone in HS), the Carolina Chocolate Drops (who played cow bones and washboards), Tedeshi Trucks Band, Dawes and some of Michael Franti. I loved Dawes but I kept finding myself looking at my watch.  Was their set going to be over soon?  When are we starting our ride home?  It had nothing to do with the rain and everything to do with getting to see Wyatt before he went to sleep.

Wyatt was asleep when I got home.  But he was just the same as I had left him; safe, happy and loved. Mom said he had one brief moment where he was upset during a thunderstorm and was concerned that momma was camping but smooth sailing otherwise.  He smiled and hugged me in the morning.  I am so grateful and happy that I got that time but I was just as happy to come home.

Off We Go

I am leaving tomorrow for a weekend camping/music adventure in upstate NY.  Without Wyatt.  I will be gone from Friday morning until Sunday night.  It is the longest time I will have ever left Wyatt, to date.  Ever.  60 potential hours of freedom.  I am feeling apprehensive about it but also wildly excited.  Its a weird land to be in.  Total opposites.  I'll be excitedly hopping around packing, looking forward to being a dirty hippie one minute to squeezing Wyatt so hard he can barely breathe and wondering what cute things I am going to miss the next.

He'll be fine.  In the loving care of 4 grown adults with "no rules cause Momma's away."  With all the attention my family will throw at him, I doubt he will even know I am away.

Then again, he tried to convince me to bring him with me today.  We were shopping for supplies:
"Momma, where are you going camping?"
"Hunter, NY.  Its on a mountain."
"I love camping!"
"Yeah I know you do, bud.  But this time its not really for kids."
"Most kids can't go because they can't climb the mountain but I can!  I climb mountains when we go cut christmas trees."
"I know you do. But our tent is too little."
"We have another tent. We can bring 2 tents!"
"Maybe bud. Maybe"

When we got home he wanted ice cream for dinner because there are no rules.  "Not yet bud. Not yet."

More to come.  Hopefully, much, much more.

Nowhere I'd Rather Be

Who Will You Be Today?

Wyatt has moved onto a new phase of imagination that must include dressing up.  Seriously, one must LOOK like a fireman while driving a fire truck.  Am I right or am I right?

And every dinner table needs a superhero.  Wyatt likes to be Aqua Boy.  I am Glitter Girl.  Pa is Lex Luther.  Gammy is Captain Flower Power.  Etc, etc, etc for everyone he comes in contact with and frequently will change at any moment.

He actually walked around the Greenwich Village all day in this.  Frequently wondering why no one was saying hi to him.  Honey, they dress like this all the time in the village.

Of course, the flight suit.  Much harder to get into then it looks.

51 Months

Boo,

So, I just spent the last 2 hours of our life trying to get you to bed.  It truly takes becoming a parent to understand that it is impossible to MAKE someone else fall asleep.  You cannot make anyone (including yourself) fall asleep.  In fact, I cannot make you do much of anything.  Usually it doesn't bother me to lay with you for those extra 90 minutes while you make up excuses on why you don't need to be in bed.  But tonight, I wanted to write this post.  Maybe clean up the millions of Legos that have exploded all over the house.  Play with the new iPhone I bought myself for Mother's Day.  Clearly, none of these things were happening.  The best part is just when I resigned myself to spending most of the night in your bed, you fell asleep.  It was 10:30.  I usually don't mind that you stay up late on the weekends because it means that you sleep in.  (And we are both NOT morning people!)  But tomorrow you have school and it is going to be a nightmare.  I can imagine it already:

You will leisurely roll out of bed around 8:15.  School starts at 9.  I will make you something, of your choice, for breakfast. As I am getting myself ready, you will push it around the plate to make it look like you ate it only to request something else once I come back into the room.  I will deny request because it is too late and then have to remind you to eat 10,000 times. I am so sick of the phrase "Wyatt eat your bagel."  It is, by far, my most used sentence.  I will have to dress you while you dance around collecting toys to bring in the car. Then there will be the begging to turn off the TV, to go to the bathroom, to get in the car.  Oh please get in the car, I don't care what door you want to get in.  Clearly, you know I am in a rush to get out the door so you will take as long as possible to do everything.  Undoubtedly, we will get there at least 10 minutes late.  But everything will be worth in when you give me that big hug (and kiss, and maybe a kissing hand or two, and then just one more hug) before bounding happily off to play with your friends.  Such is our life.  Moments of aggravation followed by immense happiness.  Check please, I'll take it.

Trent had a Star Wars "May the 4th be With You Party" on (wait for it) May the 4th.  The invitation came in the mail a good 2 weeks before the party and you asked about it every day.  "Its TODAY Trent's party?" Literally, the first words out of your mouth, every morning.  You don't know anything about Star Wars.  But it was the most exciting thing you have every heard of.  So we got out some books because I still think you are a little young for the movies.  Barring the fact that I couldn't pronounce most of the words, you now have a basic knowledge of Star Wars as told by Me (minus the war part and most of the killing. No sense, absolutely no sense.  Basically there are Jedi and JarJar and R2D2 and they are great friends that go on space junk-collecting-pod adventures)  Conveniently, May 4th was also "Dress Yourself" day at school.  You wore fire truck pajama pants (that were too small so they rode up like floods) with a truck t-shirt/dress, some spiderman sneakers and stripped socks.  And, of course, the Yoda hat I fished out of the attic.  You are one stylish dude.  All the other kids looked fairly normal.  Not you. You went all out and spoke about the Star Wars party the entire day, according to your teachers.  Truth be told, it was a pretty awesome party.  And you were very good with the light saber games which makes me think I need to sign you up for golf or baseball or some other sport I don't know of played with a stick.

Terribly crooked hair courtesy of Gammy

Speaking of, soccer is going really well.  We keep on missing practices for various reasons (hello, Tuesday at 5, why are you so difficult?!  And thank you, Siri, for now reminding me.)  Last week you got a free ice cream because you played so well.  I might be exaggerating a little.  I think it was more because you are VERY enthusiastic about playing.  Not that you actually play well.  I am not sure you have ever actually made contact with the ball.  But soccer is not about the ball.  Its really just about the running.  And you run very well.  Not like me at all.  So I am still very very proud of you.

So my iPhone.  Welcome, Kate to the 21st century!!  You are very excited about this.  Before we left the store, before my email or voicemail were set up, you demanded that they download Angry Birds.  I didn't know you knew what that was.  Evidently, you do.  Honestly, I think you know how to work my phone better then I do.  You have downloaded more Apps then I have.  You ask to talk to Siri and have her find you different YouTube videos.  When my phone goes off in your hands, you look up and say "Oh Mom, you can get it later." And then dismiss the call.  It is amazing what technology can do.  And it is totally bizarre that you will have lived in a time where this kind of technology is normal.  You will never know cassette tapes or 12 channel TV or VHS or morse code. You will always have whatever you need, whenever you need, whomever you want, right at your fingertips.  Kinda crazy, right?

Looking forward to next month.  I love you everyday,
Momma

And Scene....

Wyatt and I are at the playground.  There are other kids running around but he doesn't know anyone so he decides he would like to play with me for a little.
"Mom?"
"Yeah, Bud."
"We're going to play Secret Agents.  I am the agent in my flying machine and you need to steal the gold."
"Ok."

I run to the 'bank' and pretend to heist the gold bars.  Then run very dramatically over to my hiding spot.  I catch a glimpse of Wyatt pretending to fly patrolling the area.  I am, literally, on my hands and knees, chuckling at my clever hiding place and waiting for Wy to find me.

And I am waiting.

Yup, still waiting.

I peek over to see where he is.  A dad is smirking at me with a kind of pitying look.  I finally spot Wyatt in the corner with another little boy.  His arms are still out like he is in his flying machine.  I get up, mildly disappointed.

"Bud, I stole the gold and hid it in something green."
"Well, I don't want the gold anymore.  My submarine only runs on crystals." And off he runs.

I can't even keep up with my son's imagination.

Walkin' Man