Let the Parenting Begin

I have written about Wyatt's eating habits several times just to delete everything. I know every toddler on the planet has eating issues. And I also know that there is nothing more boring then reading about a toddler's eating habits. But I just can't help myself. After almost every meal, I run to my laptop to bang the keys in anger and frustration because my kid WON'T EAT ANYTHING!! Over the course of the day I can make him 12 different meals to get one bite of each actually in his mouth (digested is a whole other story). And then I think, Ok, 12 bites and a multi-vitamin. Thats not so bad. I can calm myself down, convince myself that he is a well rounded eater, until the next meal when my kid STILL won't eat anything and the cycle starts all over again.

I have started getting anxious around meal times. 8am, 11am, 5pm, I start sweating wondering if this time it will be any better. Should I even bother with a vegetable to just jump right to pizza? I feel like everything I prepare is going to end up in the dogs bowl. Even staples that I always could count on like yogurt aren't cutting it anymore. The other night I made home-cooked Mac and Cheese (not even the blue box kind!) and Wyatt didn't take one bite. I decided to stand my ground and told him he was going to sit there until he ate something. We stared at each other for a while. Then he asked for a carrot. And he ate it. So I let him down. I'll take a few bites of a carrot for dinner. And a carrot is MUCH better then nothing, or ice cream, or cookies, or gumminbears (as Wyatt says it. I won't mention who's responsible for that. Cough, cough, Auntie B, cough) Every single meal is a frustrating game of trying to convince him to eat.

I have made it a Thing. He has always been in the 90 percentile for weight and last doctor's visit he dropped to the 60th. And he can sense its a Thing and acts out accordingly. How do I not make it a Thing? Most of the time I can get creative and play some kind of a game to get him to eat. I break out the toothpicks or his fake toolset for him to plier pinch his food. Or I'll give him a bunch of toys while I feed him, spoon by spoon. Or put Cheerios in his cement mixer. Most of the time I can muster up Miss Perfectly Patient despite the knot in my stomach. I will make him a million different things, trying everything in the cabinet.

And then there are the times I loose it. I have bad days just like the rest of the world where I can't be anyone but Grumpy McGrumpster. I resort to bribing which I don't think he understands. The eat one more bite and you can get down (or get an ice pop, or get a toy, or get a sticker, or kick Momma just one more time when she's down) days. Its those days where I throw up my hands and let him eat whatever he wants. Fine, eat popcorn all day. See if I care. Which works for maybe a minute before I do care because I'm his mother and I will always care. And then on top of not getting him to eat now I feel like a failure of a mother because I can't be Miss Perfectly Patient Parent of the MOTHER FUCKING YEAR!! (ARRRR - lays head down on laptop sdkj fhas;tgai hensk djf).

I just honestly have no idea what to do. He is growing up and wants to be independent. He is testing his limits and seeing what he can get away with. He RARLY misbehaves and I have never had to "discipline" him. If I start "forcing" him to eat at the dinner table he will be less willing to sit there all together. It will make it even more of a Thing. But I also feel I need to set a precedent that I am the boss, damn it. He should do what I ask him to. It's just HARD and confusing!! And he is so good, all the time. He is allowed to be a little finicky every now and then. I just need a new game plan, some new tricks up my sleeve, maybe some new recipes. Or I just need to accept that its a phase. Grin and bear it.