Momma's Retrospective

So I asked Kate if I might be a guest blogger and being the kind soul that my daughter is she granted me access.

Thinking back to about a year ago, Kate had arranged for me to join her and a group of Habitat volunteers going on a build in Ireland for two weeks. In hindsight, I can see now that it was a gift for the two of us to gather our strength for the months ahead. We had such an amazing time together, laughing like school girls, whispering in our bunks at night, throwing back the Harps and working side by side to give someone else a leg up in life. I witnessed my daughter's passion for the ideals of Habitat for Humanity and felt truly honored to be part of the team. We spent some of our free time shopping and that was focused on finding a gift for Terry as he was about to deploy for Afghanistan. We had many conversations about war and the cost people were willing to pay and the conversations always ended with her concerns for Terry and that he would hopefully return intact, physically and emotionally. She purchased an Irish Cross while we were out walking in Belfast and afterwards we ended up in a pub meeting up with Dave, our leader, and Paul who was a minister from Canada. Over our Harps we shared our days purchases and Kate showed the cross to Rev. Paul and asked if he might bless it. He said yes indeed but not in a pub and he wanted to put some thought into the blessing, they could set up a time back at the cottages for just the two of them to meet. Well to make a long story short they meet, he blessed, there were tears and I'll be damned if I don't think to this day that he put a fertility blessing on that damn Irish Cross because about a month later my Kate was having Terry's baby!

So that is the beginning of the journey that has led us all here. Looking back over this year I feel amazed at all that has transpired. I have seen the best in people and also the worst, (who am I kidding I have seen the best and worst in myself!). Felt surrounded by love and at times couldn't find my breath. I wish I could say that I knew everything would work out, I wish I could say it now, but real life is messy and doesnt always have fairy tale endings. I have always felt that Kate is an old soul as she can see things much more clearly than myself. She can focus on what is truly important and what is just fluff. I still mourn for the life my daughter had, I get sad that she had to give up building for Habitat when she so loved it. But I have seen a transformation take place in Kate and her passion for her precious little boy takes my my breath away. Sometimes I feel as if I am intruding on a private moment as I see the way they gaze at each other, a bond of such intense love it's visible even to the naked eye.

I have been amazed at how Kate has handled herself with such calm and grace. She knew without a doubt that the journey she chose was the right one, no matter how hard the road was. I guess its fair to say that blessings come in many different packages, sometimes they even come as an unplanned pregnancy! My heart has grown larger to hold all the love I feel for our little bean and I know the world is a better place because he is a part of it. And now without doubt I am reassured that my daughter is indeed an old soul with wisdom and insight and me well I'm just an old fart who has never been prouder of her girl.