Now that Food has Replaced my Sex Life, I Can't even Get into my Own Pants

We're going full disclosure on this post people. This blog has replaced therapy and I have got a ton of scary things running through my mind. So, from here on out I am going to sacrifice dignity and tell it like it is. Just a warning.

I had a doctors appointment on Monday. Everything is absolutely fine and the bean is doing fabulous. I actually don't mind Drs appointments because I get to hear his little heartbeat and it makes everything I am doing worthwhile, a nice confirmation. What I don't like about Drs visits is the scale. They weigh me every time. It totally sucks. Don't get me wrong, I know that I am suppose to gain weight. Pregnancy means gaining weight, eating for two, second and third helpings, and all that good stuff. Normal weight gain is anywhere from 25-35 lbs but Dr. Diaz says she has seen women gain up to 75 lbs.

I honestly haven't been limiting myself at all. I have always loved food and nothing has changed. If I want ice cream, I have it. Chocolate milkshakes, bring it on. Cookies and milk, almost nightly. Dairy products have been my weakness. I finally bought maternity jeans and not a moment too late. I was determined never to wear maternity but once I discovered the comfort of elastic panelled pants I don't think I will ever wear jeans with a fly again. However, at this weigh-in I almost cried. I gained a total of 15 lbs so far. Yes, I know, I'm 6 months. I should have gained that much. But holy shit, 15lbs. That's a lot by pre-pregnant standards! The numbers are daunting. Granted most of the weight is baby and the rest is in my bra but, hey, that's still a lot.

With this new found weight, I have been feeling more and more unattractive. I know I look good for pregnant, not to be conceited, but I am the only one that gets to see me naked and its pretty scary. I am all belly. From the back, I still look like me but then I turn and there's this solid bump (small hill might be more accurate at the moment). To be honestly, I am glad that I don't have anyone to have sex with because I think I would feel too uncomfortable. Although, I do want to have sex. My sex drive has finally returned y'all!!! Praise Jesus!! I thought it had disappeared forever. During the first trimester, I turned back into a virgin. The second trimester was better but no one to do it with. With the third trimester just starting, it might be too soon to tell. But so far, I feel the rumblings that make me want to prowl but just feel too damn fat to get off the couch.

I don't know how women with husbands handled all this. I feel like it would be too much responsibility and effort to keep myself comfortable and him satisfied. Maybe if I had a husband I wouldn't give a hoot about his satisfaction. I consider myself lucky that I can stay on the couch. Although, a back rub would be nice by someone who was legally bound to be at my every whim. I guess I am going to have to settle for food cravings and sex dreams. Cause those dreams are *almost* as satisfying and I don't have to get out of bed. The best of both worlds!!!