Registy!!!!

There is this infamous thing called a baby registry. I did not know much about said registry when I first got pregnant but in the next coming months I learn a lot about it. In a store you can make a wish list for all the things that you want for your baby and hopefully people will buy those things for you at your baby shower. It is quite lovely because then you get exactly what you want and not a ton of the same things.

However, I have been having a hard time. Because I simply do not know what I need, how much I need, what specific products are absolutely essential for a 2008 baby. Conveniently these stores give you a list of things they think you need, usually about 3 pages long. I never knew something so little would need so much. Anyway, there were a few things on the list that I thought were absolutely ridiculous that the baby experts deem essential for any new baby.

An example of these 'must have' items that didn't exist ten years ago....

The Wipe Warmer - wipes go in and then warmed to a nice temperature for your precious baby bottom. The purpose is if the babe is half asleep it might go back to sleep if you use a warm wipe on its ass instead of startling it with a cold one. I feel that wipes are a pretty good invention as it is. Besides I tend to think that the wipes might get brown or moldy in a warmer. Of course they probably invented something that doesn't allow them to get moldy for an additional $20.

The Floppy Seat - a fabric inlay for your shopping cart so little fingers stay safe. Generally, cool idea. But some of them are so freaking interactive that they gave me a migraine. They are cushioned, with toys, play music, light up, rattle, and make dinner all in a floppy seat. I totally want one cause I think they are totally unnecessary but a great way to prove to other moms that I have the coolest accessories.

The Wee Block, aka the Pee-Pee Tepee - your baby boys first jock cup, how cute. No really. These exist in all sizes and colors. This one in a fashionable "Wee Man" pattern. I saw another one that said "The Little Pisser". Specifically designed to prevent your lil'guy from peeing in your face. Put one of these over his little pecker during changing time and your safe. Seriously. Seriously, people.

Last but not least...The Hands Free Breast Pump - yes ladies, you can officially become a cow and get milked. I was horrified when I saw this. Horrified. Can you believe that things like this exist?!? Look at this picture. She is so happy being a cow, talking on the phone and getting work done!!! I am going to breast feed but that alone is scary enough. Making yourself into a milking machine is so degrading. I don't even have the words. I swear if anyone gets me this it better be a joke, cause there is no freaking way.