Ode to Flatulence

Anyone who knows me well understands my immaturity when it comes to farting. I think that farting is perhaps the funniest thing that the human body can do. No matter how serious I am trying to be, please fart, and you will have me cracking up huge belly laughs. I can't help it. I clearly never grew out of the potty humor phase. I find it hysterical. There was a time in college when I thought I was growing out of it. When I would bite my tongue and fain disgust. I was definitely wrong.

One of the many joys of pregnancy is that I can blame pretty much anything on it. I don't feel well - pregnancy. I physically cannot move from this couch - pregnancy. I most definitely need seconds and thirds of that ice cream - pregnancy. Farting is no exception. I really try not to use the pregnancy excuse much because people already treat me like I have turned helpless and fragile overnight and I don't want to encourage that. However, whatever self respect I had on the issue of farting before pregnancy is long gone. I love it. I love feeling like I can rip one when ever and where ever I want. Sometimes, I honestly can't control it. Seriously. But most of the time, I can and don't want to because I find farting way too amusing. Its like old people and babies when they just fart, without warning, without explanation, and continue on with life as if nothing happened.

My family and poor Lizzy have taken the brunt of this. I have fallen into a routine when I get home from work. I find Lizzy and fart on her. Or I wait for a quiet moment around the dinner table and let 'em fly. Yes, its immature and I probably should know better but I am getting fat and uncomfortable and the little joys that keep me laughing are worth humiliating myself over. At first when I would uncontrollably fart at work, I would get embarrassed and couldn't believe it. But more recently, I have embraced it and find it quite amusing. I am not saying that I fart all the time but if one just happens to squeak by my radar, no big deal. What is getting more embarrassing is that I crack up, like milk coming out of my nose laughing. Who over the age of 12 does that?!?

Honestly, it is beginning to be my favorite pastime. Clearly, I don't get out much. I want to give everyone fair warning. If you happen to come across me in a pretty fowl mood, please fart. I will laugh. I can't help myself. Hell, I am chuckling even thinking about it.