Fridays at the Y

Wyatt and I have class at the Y every Friday at 9:30 in the morning. I always used to be a stickler for time. Being on-time was late in my book. Then I had a child and now I will never be on-time again. This is a brief reenactment of every Friday morning before class. It usually doesn't bother me; taking 2 hours to get out the door but my anal internal clock gets mildly twitchy when I know I am going to be late for an event. God help me when I need to get him to school at 9 every morning.

7:45 am - Come on, Wyatt, time to wake up. I really would like to get there on time like all the other parents.

8:03 - That's my hibernating bear! Up and at 'em, engineer! Sun's up, morning's here!

8:04 - All right, Mom's a little too excited. Can we both just take it down a few decimals? I'll get your bottle.

8:26 - That diapy is so full with pee-pee's, can I take it off?

8:26.14 - Please! Lets pick a toy out for your diapy change!

8:26.38 - Diaper Change, NOW, Bud!

8:27 - Would you like to wear big boy underwear today? No? What if you pick them out? Well, all right then, maybe tomorrow.

8:29 - Spend several minutes in the bathroom, washing my face, brushing my teeth, trying to look mildly acceptable while Wyatt runs around pantless and/or watches the Backyardigans pantless.

8:37 - Would you like some breakfast? A blueberry muffin? Clementine? Waffle with a lot of syrup? Eggie weggies? Pa's juice? Cherrios? Blueberries? Yogurt? Apple? OK, so, pretzels it is!

8:40 - Momma just needs to sit for a minute and drink some tea. Would you like some of my cherrios? No? I thought so.

8:45 - Pack diaper bag: toys, juice cup, binky, blanket, diapers, wipes, a book, snack, my wallet, phone. Check!

8:47 - Hey Bud! I've got this great shirt with a bulldozer on it. Isn't it the coolest? Big boys love wearing shirts with trucks on them. And maybe some pants.

8:53 - Ok, sure, let's put on the red socks.

8:53.27 - Ok, the blue socks.

8:53.36 - Red socks? Right.

8:53.42 - Are you sure you want to put on the Lightening McQueen socks? Are you sure?!

8:55 - Why don't you pick out the hat you would like to wear?

8:56 - Where the hell did I put your jacket? And my shoes?

8:59 - Yes, PUP, we are leaving and you are not coming. Please, stop barking before I ripe out your vocal cords.

9:01 - PUP!!! Sweet Jesus! You tripped Wyatt! Stop running and get in your cage. YOU ARE NOT COMING!!!

9:10 - Come on, Wyatt. We're going to play with the kids. Would you like to bring that toy with us? Yup, in Momma's car. Come on, lets go show that toy to the birds outside.

9:13 - KATE, GET OUT THE FRONT DOOR, OH MY GOD

9:14 - All right! Can you hold Momma's hand? Its slippy out to the car.

9:16 - Yes, Yes!! Its a truck. How exciting! Lets watch!

9:30 - Bud, are you ready to get in the car now?

9:45 - Arrive with hair amiss and utterly disheveled, Wyatt looking like I picked out his clothing blind folded, and, unsurprisingly, late.