17 Months

Bud -

Despite my greatest efforts, I have come to calling you Bud. I HATE this nickname. No, LOATHE. But I can't seem to help myself. I say it at least 12 times a day, every time wincing at myself and trying to backtrack. I don't know where it came from or how it started but it has to stop. Seriously, anything is better then Bud. Codfish is better. Butt cheek is better. Schookums is better. My face is hurting from being so serious.

We were cleaning up the other day, a rare feat. I was picking things off the den floor and instructing you where to put them. Put this in your bookcase. This goes by your trains. The blocks go back in the box. I retrieve a dirty plate and tell you to bring it to Gammy to put in the dishwasher. You took the plate and I followed you into the kitchen. You open the dishwasher, shove the plate haphazardly in, and close it. Then turn to me pondering 'What's next?' while I stare dumbly, shocked at your brilliance. How did you learn to be so smart?

You love playing with the buckets of water at Gammy's shop. Since it has been raining we go there a lot, for a change of scenery. It is a smorgasbord of fun things to get into up there. You were running around and stopped to play with the water tubes in the buckets. You poured the water out of one of the tubes then moved onto another bucket and mimicked the same motion, pouring the "water" out of the tube even thought it was empty. You continued to do this several times then accompanied the gesture with this "whoosh" sound. There you were pretending. This seemed like THE MOST AMAZING THING EVER to me. Making believe is a huge concept to grasp. You're so young!! All those episodes of Sesame Street are surely paying off. You have moved on from Sesame Street a little, only really watching half an episode a day. You are much more in love with Thomas the Train now. You grab the remote, find me, and say "Tom, tom" over and over until I'll put it on for you. This show is GOD AWFUL!!! The writing is terrible, their train faces horrifying, even the accent of the voice over is completely muddled, and ohh how boring! And yet, I will watch this show happily, singing along with the chorus of prepubescent children during the intro. This is how much I love you.

Sometimes I can't let you play with the things you want to. Like when you want to touch the lit candle, or when you want to drink my ice coffee, or slam on my laptop, or hit the TV with your wooden hammer. Then you stomp away, crying these huge crocodile tears, and fling your little self on the floor until I can distract you with something else. It doesn't surprise me, with the way you've been advancing, that you would hit the terrible two's early. You make me feel like the meanest person on the planet. But you have to know, I love you. With everything that I have, with everything that I am, every single minute of every single day. You are the light at the end of my tunnel. I'll adore you even when your cranky and having a minor hissy fit.

You were born into this world with two parents, four grandparents, and four great grandparents. You made four generations on both sides of your family. You might not realize how amazingly rare this is; how blessed you are to have so many people doting and loving you. With much sadness, your Great-Grandpa on your Dad's side passed away this month. I didn't have the opportunity to get to know him well but what I do know is that he was a kind, quiet man that adored you. His face lighting up when you walked in the room. You dad was very close with your Great Grandpa, always making an effort to see him when he was around. When you read this, go give Dad a hug and ask about your Great Grandpa.

I love you everyday.

Mom