I am Woman, Roar!

Recently, I am finding myself thinking a lot about single mom stereotypes. Nothing specifically happened to make my mind wander there and usually I could give two hoots about stereotypes. My head has been clouded with thoughts of the perception of single moms and I feel like I need to put some of these judgements to rest.

I am single. Brand me with my scarlet S. I welcome it. I am so sick of everyone asking where my husband is. Go back to health class, you don't need a husband to get pregnant. In our modern times, with the divorce rate hovering around 50%, with in-vitro and sperm donors, you would think people would stop asking about husbands and partners. Or would stop automatically thinking about two parent, one male and one female, households. My son doesn't have my last name and I am not a Mrs. There are a lot of reasons for that. None of which I want to discuss at the check out line in the grocery store. Wait and see if I bring it up then you won't have to ask me about my marital status.

I have a kid on my hip, no ring on my finger, and I am not ready for a relationship. That's right world, I am not actively looking for a husband. I am defying convention and running with my single parent household. I have enough trouble fitting in quality time for my relationship with my friends and family. I am not emotionally stable enough to add another person into my already hectic life. When I have the proper amount of time to commit to a romatic relatioship then I will start dating. But not yet, its too much, too overwhelming. Wyatt is the most important man to me and he will remain at the top for the rest of my life any other man will have to come in second. I am also going to throw in there: I will not steal your husband. Young married women sometimes look at me like a heathen that can pilfer away their husbands at any moment. I am certainly not going to abscond with your hubby. Chances are you might not even want him.

I did not get pregnant on purpose. I feel the need to write that again. I did not get pregnant on purpose. It was not my fault or Terry's fault for that matter. There is no one to place blame on. Things happen. This, above all, is my worst pet peeve. The assumption is single moms are responsible for the situation they are in. When I got pregnant, I was unemployed and uninsured. Two of the worst situations when introducing a dependant into your life. Wyatt is the product of a birth control malfunction, one of many in the world. I did not choose to get pregnant, abortion was not an option for me, and adoption was out of the question. What other choice did I have?

I don't mean to come off sounding jaded or trail of in a huge gripe session. I get annoyed when my life is disrupted by stereotypes and assumptions of others. Most of all, I am proud to be a single mom. I am proud that I found the courage to march into this solitary journey. Proud that I am doing it, successfully. I wish that when I say I am a single mom I wouldn't get the look of pity that comes next.