Friends to Come Home To

Saturday marked Kari's bachlorette party. I am delighted to say that it was a real blast. I can't remember the last time that I felt so recklessly abandoned. I got to get dressed up in heels, drink out of penis straws in a limo, and watch lap dances. Granted, we were at Lucy Cheungs and the dancers were transvestites but fun is fun. Why do guys get to do crazy things at bachelor parties but girls watch men dressed like girls dance and sing or have spa days? Guys go crazy and women still feel the need to check in.

At one point I was getting ready to take a shot and my mind jumped back to Wyatt. I immediately reverted to mom mode: responsible, cautious, and reserved. Rebecca reminded me that it is OK to have fun. That no one can be supermom all the time. Rebecca is wise beyond her years. I do have trouble balancing my college year self and my more recent mom self. I love being a mom but sometimes I want to go out and leave all responsibility at home. I try but when I do go out I have constant mom thought swirling in the back of my head. I probably would need a lobotomy for me to entire stop thinking about Wyatt. Sometimes I feel like I am suffocating my more reckless self. She is being held underwater barely hanging on. Soon, I am afraid, I will loose her forever. I guess it is called growing up.

Kari, Bri and I have been friends since pre-school. Brianne mentioned that we have known each other for over 23 years. I did everything with those two. We were inseparable; fixtures at each others homes. During college, we lost touch. I was so excited to move out of our small high school that I did a pretty good job of severing ties with a lot of friends. I wanted to start fresh in college. Unfortunately, I think I took it a little too far. I failed to realize that you can reinvent yourself while still acknowledging where you came from.

Since I moved back home, Bri, Kari, and I have reinstated our friendship. It was extremely comforting when we got together for the first time in about 6 years and we all felt like no time had passed. I feel like they understand me in a subconscious way. They know how I am going to react in any situation before I seem to. I am thrilled that we have found each other again especially when our lives are changing so dramatically. Kari is getting married on Sept. 1st, Bri in Oct 2009, and I have a 6 month old son. We have so much to learn from one another. I consider them true friends, those that you can grow up, grow apart, come home, and always feel like you belong.