83 Months

Wyatt,

Ahhhh, Christmas.  Where do I even begin?!  Since it was our first real Christmas, as a family, living in the same house, John and I got a little bit excited.  Definitely more then you kids.  You are always excited about Christmas, John and I were down right giddy.  We wanted it to be special.  We wanted to respect the traditions that had already been set in motion with a 5, 6, 6, and 8 year old.  We wanted to spoil the shit out of you.  We wanted to shock and awe.  And we wanted to do all of this in two hours.  Because that is all we had.  John was picking up his kids at 8am and they had to leave for the airport around 10 to go to Texas.  You and I were meeting them in TX a few days later.

John and I were meticulous on making sure you all had the same amount; of gifts to open as well as money spent.  It was hard.  There was always one of you coming up short and then we would buy more and the process would continue.  I had a stash of gifts in my office that I would wrap in brown paper when I was on lunch. Gwynnie was very curious about the three present tradition.  She questioned you several times and of course you had the response that I have engrained in you readily prepared.  "Jesus gets three, and so do we.  Its his birthday."  I eventually had to intervene because she didn't understand that she once got a million presents from Santa and now only three. I told her on the first child's first Christmas, the parents write a letter to Santa explaining the rules of the house.  Because every home is different and every family celebrates in different ways.  So, Santa brought 3 presents in our house, but they would also get things from John and I.  (Hey.  I still think that's pretty good.)  She hesitated, but then ran with it.  At least for this first year, I think we got away with it.

Santa Pa paid us a visit!

You tore through your presents Christmas morning, as per usual really.  I felt bad that John missed so much of it because he was busy packing the kids up.  You all were thrilled.  I think favorites were Dylan's skateboard, Byron's vintage GI Joe Guys, Gwyn's tickets to see Taylor Swift and your new Skylanders video game. Mine was my tickets to see Book of Mormon and John's was the Walking Dead set (against my better judgement) but he would say it was his new work pants (boring).  However, I thought the pickle present was by far the best.  I wrapped up all these tiny boxes with clues in them, that sent you all on a scavenger hunt around the house and outside.  You were all running around in your pj's and having Gwyn read the clues along the way.  You were so freaking adorable. I had a TV in the basement for our famiy pickle present.  There was lots of screaming all around.  Actually, even though John was in on it, I think he was the most excited.  Since Dylan found the actual ornament, he claimed that it was his only and it would go in the boy's room.  Yeah, that idea got squashed pretty hard. 

I guess, traditionally, John's kids stockings were less the full.  Santa only brought some candy.  John failed to mention this.  So I packed the crap out of all the stockings.  With candy, sea monkeys, light saber lipgloss, jellybean pooping grumpy lambs, socks, pencils, camo bandaids, hair clips, toothbrushes, etc, etc, etc.  For you this was normal.  For the kids, this was extraordinary.  I got to sit and watch as Byron carefully unwrapped each item with awe and surprise, putting mostly all of them in his backpack for the trip.  It was a great Christmas.  One that I hope you will remember.

And then John and the kids left for the airport.  And you went with your Dad for a little.  And I was left, in my Christmas PJ's, in an empty house, surrounded by wrapping paper.  It was ..... weird but not entirely unpleasant.  Dadda and I decided to switch things up a little this year.  We both wanted you to be able to do everything with all the families.  So you did some bouncing around.  As part of this, you came to my church on Christmas Eve and got to participate in the Christingle Pagaent.  You have been coming to Sunday School fairly regular with me and quite simply the Pagaent is just a rite of passage.  You happily played a very adorable shephard.  And Lizzy and I quite made you laugh with our ridiculous faces and miming playing "Trumpets" by Jason Deruo from the choir loft balacony. I look am looking forward to making you laugh from afar for years to come.

I have always wanted you to have a sibling.  At least one.  I always felt that more keenly around Christmas time.  Some of my best memories are from Christmas with my sisters.  They were always my partners in crime and witnessing their joy was contagious happiness and excitement. You went from none to three in less then a year.  I loved watching you this Christmas, opening your presents and excitedly sharing them with each other.  And you helping Dlyan open his. And Gwyn reading all of you the clues.  And your hands a mile a minute watching Byron open the GI Joes. And Gwyn screaming at her Taylor Swift tickets and you all screaming with her without understanding why.  And watching you all seamlessly, overnight it seems, becoming siblings.  I know from the outside looking in, it must be choas.  But being on the inside, it is watching love take root in our living room.

I love you everyday,
Momma

Things I Learned in 2014

I learned, once again, that moving is beyond stressful. Clearly, I block it from my memory.
Power tools are awesome.  Having some one that appreciates my love of power tools and buys me them is even more awesome.
Mom's stories get longer and longer with each telling.
Making the jump from a family of 2, to a family of 6 has had its challenges but nothing that I wouldn't want to do over and over again.
I take a lot of pride in how far our home has come and relish in my new projects to make it even better.
I learned that I am very Type A with our finances.  I am so grateful that John trust me with his money so I can handle everything.  It would drive me nuts not knowing.

I don't think it mattered how we got engaged, all that mattered was that it was John.  He was the one that made it perfect. Even down to his excitement over continental breakfast.
I am still a little disappointed that Lizzy chickened out for our sister tattoos and I am way proud of Rebecca.  I would have bet money that it would have been the other way around.
Shooting sheet is harder then it looks but also way funner.
I will be forever grateful that all of our children get along as well as they do.  Our mini-miracle.
I am a perfectionist.  If I am going to complete a project myself, I will watch YouTube videos until I can get it absolutely perfect.
Work has been stressful this year. It is amazing how that stress can hang with me even after I have left the building.

The Audi is still amazing. I would buy it 12 times over if I could.  I am so cheap on so many things but this is one thing I am so glad I didn't cheap out on.
John is terrible at picking out movies, I have just grown to ignore his recommendations.
Its the little things, like coming home to a clean house and the lawn mowed, that makes a world of difference to me.
The flu sucks but I still refuse to get a flu shot even though I have gotten sick 2 years in a row.  Stubborn much.
I learned that I actually enjoy gardening.  Who knew?!  I guess the apple didn't fall very far.
Watching your child struggle - with anything - is one of the hardest parts of parenting.

I love going out but family happy hour at Walls always seems to be my favorite.
The older Lizzy gets the stronger our relationship is.  Considering I hated her when she was first born we will most likely be inseparable in a few years.
Trying on a wedding dress for the first time was a terrifying and anxious experience.  It is not that I have doubts, its just that I don't really think I ever thought I would get married.
Every time I have my mother over she rearranges my pillows and throws.  I have learned to just let her do it.
I learned that the one time I have been compelled to curse at John was over snot filled towels.  It could have been worse, way worse.
The great generosity of others surprised and overwhelmed me this year (Really. Some one is letting us borrow their HOUSE).  I would like to focus on being more generous to people not in my family this year. 

I learned that it is monumentally important to make time for our date nights.  Reestablishing, grounding and relishing in 'just us' in our mostly chaotic life has given our relationship a tremendous amount of strength.
Passing on traditions and watching those traditions take root are the stuff memories are made of.
There's not much a bottle of wine, a warm house, a string cheese, a jigsaw puzzle, and some sisters can't fix.
I am a saver and I enjoy saving.  I like being able to pay things off in full right away.
Rebecca is already the most amazing bridesmaid ever, from dress shopping, to meticulous invitation overhaul, to surprise engagement parties, this girl is going to out do herself in 2015.
My heart is much bigger than I even realized.

I have begun to understand and emulate my parents unfaltering desire to give and support their children no matter how many speeding tickets they get.  (Ahem, Lizzy, ahem.)
My dad is still the best baseball coach out there.  Wyatt is so lucky to have him.
My Christmas Santa wrapping is over the top but seeing all of their faces makes it so worth the effort. (I do brown craft paper with tons of colorful bows.  Even on stockings.)
I am looking forward to being a stepmom. Even if it is just to rid the world of Disney stereotypes.
My favorite time of day is still putting Wyatt to bed.  The routine might be different now from several years ago, but he still reverts to that snuggly baby I miss.
2015 is looking to be one of the best years yet.