Expectations

This is the second rainbow I saw in 2012.  Caught just two weeks after seeing the first one.  I was driving home from a night in Long Beach and this was arched across the sky. Dipping into the water at either end. I don't think I have ever seen a rainbow in its entirety before.  I called home, told Mom to put Wyatt's shoes on and grab the camera.  We raced back to the beach. You couldn't see the whole thing anymore but still both ends, with some clouds in the middle.

I have had this crazy hunch that 2012 is going to be a really good year.  Every year I start with good intentions and hope but, for some reason, this year feels different.  I have this nagging feeling that something amazing is coming down the road but I am not really sure how to get there or even what it is.  However cheesy it sounds, these dual rainbows appearing at the very beginning of the year, seem to be some kind of sign.  A confirmation that this gut feeling is going to manifest itself.

I am hesitant to even talk about it.  As if somehow speaking of having lofty expectations for 2012 will make them disappear.  I don't even know what I am expecting.  Maybe just more good then bad?  Maybe it is just a better attitude?  Maybe the hope of a good year will be enough to make it so? 

Fingers crossed.

The Woodsman

The Par-Tay!

I rented out the YMCA for Wyatt's big party.  He was so excited about it.  He pretty much invited every kid he came in contact with. Someone at the library, another boy at Home Depot.  At one point he said that no girls were allowed to come but, thankfully, changed his mind.  He wanted a Lego Party. However, I was confidant that not all his friends were as proficient as he is.  So I betted on something everyone could enjoy - the gym a the Y then really hammed it up in the party room and favor boxes.  I think pictures will tell it better.

Wyatt's Lego cake.  I probably could have make it better working with fondant.  But fondant terrifies me.  And since I didn't start on the cake until Friday night, 2 beers in, I decided not to mess with anything new. When Wyatt saw it he exclaimed "Mom!  You're amazing!"  Best. Reaction. Ever.

 The table for the kids in the party room.  Complete with Happy Birthday spelled with Lego Duplo bricks on the mantle.  Not sure if you can really see it, but Wyatt and I wrapped the juice boxes to look like bricks too.  Mom made this Ah-Maze-Ing Lego Minifigure cut out box.  She attempted to take all the kids pictures in the box for the thank you cards.  Some kids were into it, other could care less.  

Wyatt, obviously, thought it was awesome.  So worth it.

This was the cake table.  I also made these chocolate covered marshmallow Lego head pops.  They were super easy and I had a ton of fun making the faces.  There are a lot with varying degrees of facial hair, Harry Potter, handle bar mustaches, and of course one with a Mike Tyson facial tattoo.  We made them for his class on Wednesday too.  Everyone was duly impressed. The boxes in the background are the favor boxes that Wyatt decorated with his Lego stickers. 

Wyatt was really into this.  We spent a good amount of time taking old broken crayons and melting them then pouring them into a Minifigure ice cube tray.  We made a ton of colors and each kid got a set of 5 in their favor boxes. Plus, it was a good activity for Wy and I.  We had some really good chats while unwrapping crayons. I also made a mini coloring book to go with them.  I was mildly nervous that some kid was going to think they were chocolate. 

The staff at the Y were totally amazing.  They kept the kids active and engaged for the whole hour, pulling out new stuff, organizing races, twisting Wyatt up in the parachute.  It was all really cute and was so worth it being able to watch him enjoying his day rather then trying to organize everything. Becca dressed Wy in this totally adorable outfit.  Once Wyatt got running, it was all over.  He kept running up to me saying "I'm sweaty." Then taking off another layer of clothing.  I finally had to tell him there was nothing left to take off.

 Everyone had a great time.  Especially Wyatt.  When it was time for cake, he ran into the other room then immediately asked to go back into the gym.  Kid loves his cake so that is definitely saying something.

I love this picture for 800 reasons.  First, the girl (Sophia) on the left!  Oh my God she is astonished.  Because it took Wyatt astonishingly long to blow out those 5 little candles.  And he got astonishingly close to burning off all his eyebrows.  Don't you want to go there?  Just live your entire life in this photo?

I am so happy that I had the opportunity to make him this happy. Happy Birthday, my love.

4 Years - 48 Months

My love,

When you woke up yesterday, you sat straight up in bed and starting yelling. "I'm 3! I'm 3! I'm 3? Mom, am I still 3?" I kept having to remind you that, yes, indeed you were still 3 but tomorrow you would be 4.  Then Auntie B was joking with you, asking you how old you were going to be, you kept answering 6. I partial think your number confusion is because you always forget 4.  You can count to 15 but will consistently skip 4.  1-2-3-5-6.  Like it doesn't exist.  I have worked on it with you for days, weeks, months even.  Still no 4.  I am hoping now that you ARE 4 it will magically come into existence.  I guess now we have a whole year to work on it.

We took a trip into the city the other day. It was an early birthday lunch and lego's date.  I usually drive in with you but this time I decided to take the train.  At every stop you would ask "Where are we now? Can we drive here?  Have I been to this town before?" The rest of the train was getting quite a kick out of you. You were just so curious. You were a little confused about how some trains we took were double deckers and others were "single deckers" and others were subways.  I was trying to explain the difference but, truth be told, I have no idea what makes them different.  We spent an indecent amount of time in the Lego store in Rockefeller Centre. Then walked to a restaurant and spent hours assembling some of the Lego's we bought. You actually want to complete them yourself now but don't really know how to read the "menu's" yet. So, I pick the pieces out for you, tell you where to put them, then have to watch patiently while you assemble.  I have to admit, it's hard not to jump in a take over.  You never get frustrated with pieces you can't quite put right and you rarely ask for help.  Most of the time, you have more patience then me.  After lunch, we took a nice 10 block walk to which you said "There is a lot of walking in this big city." You did great.  It was a first time I went in with just you and my bag.  It was liberating.

So much of our days are clouded with other things that need to get done.  Even when I am trying to just focus on sitting and playing with you, I am still petting the dogs.  Or anxious to get some laundry in.  Or figure out what's for dinner.  Or dragging you on errands.  Or jumping to answer the phone. You have story-time on Mondays.  So, we usually have pizza after school to get to the library on time.  I love that time with you but even then I am rushing you to eat so we won't be late.  There is always something else that needs to happen.  On our day in the city, I let all my errands, to-do-lists, and responsibilities fade.  Solely focused on you.  Your Legos.  And holding your hand when walking down the street. It was a good day. A really good day.

Now that you are older and definitely more independent, I have been finding myself daydreaming about what my life would have been like without you.  Where would I be living?  What state?  What country?  What would I be doing?  Who would I be living with?  What would I be like?  They seem to float in the back of my brain, haunting me at lonely moments.  I feel tremendous guilt about finding these questions in my head.  However, after allowing myself to dream for a little, I always come back to; no matter where I would be, whom I was with, or what I was doing I don't think I would have ever been as happy or fulfilled or grounded or passionate as I am right now.  Yes, I am sure my life would be exciting and happy as it always was.  But when I think of my life before you, in hindsight, it seems like I was lost.  Like there was something (or someone) missing.  Like I was waiting for my real life to begin.  My conclusion is I think it is ok to daydream every once and a while.  But Wyatt you have to understand, no matter what I missed out on, I would pick you every time.  I choose you.  I will always choose you.  I don't regret one minute I have gotten to spend with you. There is not one thing I would change.

I am sure at some point in your life, you will also begin to question: what have I done with my life?  Or where could it have gone if I made different choices?  Or what am I doing now?  Or what does my life really mean?  It might not seem like a great feat to be a good son.  But to me.  To me, you have been a miracle. You have given me the greatest gift and I am forever yours for it. You are the arrow that shoots right to the heart of me.  I love you with every fiber of who I am and with everything I have.  I am so blessed and grateful and joyous that you are in my life.  You are the best thing about me.  The other day you told me, "Mom, you make me feel like me."  Well, my love, you make me feel more like me too.

I love you Birthday Boy. Now and forever.
Momma

Protect and Serve

Wyatt One Liners

I was finishing up Wyatt's bath and mentioned that I was going out.
"You're going out to dinner?"
"Yes. I am late. So, lets hurry up."
"Am I coming?"
"Not this time bud."  I was expecting for him to be a little upset, instead he starts smiling.
"Thank you! Thank you!"
"Thank you?"
"There are no rules with Gammy and Pa!"
"No rules, huh." I asked Gammy about this once we got out and she promptly shushed Wyatt and told him that he was getting her in trouble.

Gammy was trying to get Wyatt ready in the morning.  (He is a BEAR in the morning.  It is a constant battle trying to get ready by 8:45).
"Wyatt, what do you think you want to wear today?"
"My sexy green shirt." And runs out of the room to get get it.  Gammy and I just look at each other. Where that came from, I still don't know.

I was cleaning with some music on.  Wyatt runs into me asking "Mom? What's this windy song?  It sounds like Dada." I promptly text Terry and ask him if he listened to the song with Wyatt in the car.  Terry had never heard of it before. It was Winter Winds by Mumford & Sons.  Weird, right?

Wyatt had an audition/interview in the city.  The last one he went on didn't go so well. They asked him to go in by himself and he didn't want to.  Of course, I didn't push him.  Well, this time I had told him what was going on and he thought it would be "ok".  He was great. Walks right in and when I got to him, he was Mr. Chatty schmoozing all the lady assistants.  After we left I asked him what happened and told him how proud I was of him. He goes "I brought my manners this time. Last time I left them at home."

We were crossing the parking lot at the grocery store and he didn't want to hold my hand.  I kept grabbing down at him; telling him he needed to be careful and that I didn't want him to get hurt.
"Wyatt, I would be very upset if something happened to you."
"If I got rund over, you can grow a new Wyatt."
"Bud, I could never grow another you! You are the only person that is exactly you."
"But you can grow me a brother."
"Not right this second. But eventually. Hopefully someday."

Wyatt just finished using the toliet.  "Hey, bud. Maybe it is time to learn how to wipe your own butt. Let me teach you.  You're a big boy now." After the tutoring was finished, (which was really weird.  Like really weird.) Wyatt goes "Now I know!  I can wipe your butt next time!"  Ummmm, no.

Wyatt and I are always striking deals.  If you eat one more bite you, can play for another 3 minutes.  Brush your teeth, then you can watch a little show.  Eat lunch, then you can have some chocolate.  I guess I always preface the ultimatum with "So here's the deal."  Wyatt eventually caught on.  Now, when I tell him a deal that he doesn't like so much he responds with "Well, that's not MY deal."