43 Months

Hey You,

You started school again on Monday.  You were beyond excited.  I hope and pray that this lasts well into your high school years. You have been coming to work with me for a few weeks.  First, I have to mention that you are amazing.  You sit, you play, you watch YouTube while I make phone calls, you help me move furniture, you are polite and kind to every person that comes into the church.  It has gone far better then I ever expected.  So, I told you that I was going to miss my special helper at work and maybe you shouldn't go to school.  You go "Mom! I have to go to school but I can be your helper after." 

We went to the children's museum one rainy day and I would have to consider it one of the best days of my life.  No joke, kid.  No joke. It was just you and I with a packed lunch and we spent about 5 hours there. They added this new outdoor water exhibit that you loved. I vowed to devote all my attention to you and left my crackberry in the car.  And you are amazing.  (Geez, I am getting annoyed reading this. I need a stronger adjective then amazing.)  At one point this little kid stole the wheel barrow you had been using.  You waited patiently to get it and then 5 minutes later it was gone.  I braced myself for a throw down.  You watched the kid wheel away, slowly turned and said "Its ok. I'll use this." and picked up a shovel.  Eh, Hello, the most polite 3 year old in the world.  We rode on the carosel and I grabbed brass rings for you to hold.  You thought it was the most intrigute invention. We went back to the museum and played some more.  You even left the gift shop without getting anything and without complaining.  For the week following you asked everyday if we could go back.  We finally did and you loved it all over again.

We also took that huge family trip to NC. (Trust me, a whole 2,000 words in itself.) You were kind of confused about the "renting a house" business.  "This is our new house!" you'd proclaim.  "Well, not really, babe. We are just borrowing it from someone for a week"  Then you would run to Pa and tell him he needed to drive more limos to make more money so we could BUY THIS HOUSE.  Its the BEST HOUSE EVER!  You cried when I told you we had to leave.  Then said when you get home you are selling your toys.  I wish I could buy that house for you.  I don't think it was the house that you loved so much.  Although, yes, the house was incredible.  I think it was more about having all of us, under one roof, for an entire week.  You bounced around between us.  Playing with Gammy and Pa on the beach, going in the water with me, trucks and cars with William and Auntie B, hot tub with Lizzy.  Non-stop entertainment.  Hell, I want to live there full time.  I was crying too when we left.

I have been a little distacted lately.  I completely forgot about your school orientation until my car got surrounded by teachers asking where you were as I pulled up to the church.  I had a bad mother moment and forgot to buckle you in your car set.  You reminded me.  Because you follow the rules.  And probably because once I told you that the car wouldn't start until you were buckled and you remember everything. I zone out while we are playing until you jump in my lap and get me to focus. My patience has been running on bare minimum. You walked into the bathroom while I was crying.  It was aweful.  I don't think you have ever seen me cry. You asked what was wrong.  I told you that someone hurt my feelings.  "Do you need a hug?" you responded.  And you hugged me on the bathroom floor for 5 minutes. I am sorry Wyatt. I am sorry that you felt like you needed to comfort me.  I never want  you to feel responsible for my well-being.  I am overwhelmed. With everything. I am sorry and I promise I will get better. School is starting. Its a new start. Let's make a fresh start.

I love you, always, forever and everyday.
Mom