12 Months

My Big Boy,

It is true what everyone says. Cherish every moment with your children because it all goes by so fast.  I cannot believe that you are a year old.  I think I have said that statement about 200 times in the past three days.  When I took you home from the hospital, I thought you would stay that way forever, all bundled, pink, and new.  Beyond all reason, time seems to stand still.   The first few months go by so slowly in a blur of feedings, naps, and diapers.  Then the months start slipping away with milestones, the beginnings of interaction, and what amazing thing you might do next.  You have grown up, miraculously, before my eyes into this amazingly inquisitive explorer who takes my breath away everyday.  It doesn't feel possible that you have only been in my life for a year.  

You have changed so much from the day that they laid you on my chest, struggling to look at me under the harsh hospital lights.  But yet you are still the same little person that scrunches up his brow and looks at me with questioning eyes.  I watch you sleep every night, watch as you feel the satin edges of your blanket.  You look so perfect and peaceful.  I go into our room just to feel your life hanging in the air, your breath filling the room with promise.  When we were in the hospital, they would wheel you away so I could sleep.  But I couldn't sleep because I always felt like a piece of me was missing.  I am drawn to you.

The night before you were born we all sat around, Gammy and Grandpa, Grams and Poppa T, Auntie B, dreaming about who you would be.  Wondering who you would take after or what your first words would be.  What would make you happy or how your mouth would curve when you smiled.  What your eyes would look like or what you would feel like in our arms.  Wondering how you would look when you walked or the sound of your laughter.  And now we know.  We know that you pick up your legs extra high when you walk so you kinda look like a galloping horse.  We know that you don't smile with your mouth but with your whole face.  We know that when you really laugh sometimes you can't breathe. We know that you stamp your feet and huff when you get excited.  We know that you have 8 teeth, red(ish) hair, and blue eyes like the sea.  We know that you like to cuddle in the morning and eat with the family at night.  There is nothing too small or trivial, every detail is amazing.

Wyatt, I never dreamed that I could hold so much love in my heart for one person.  I would walk on glass for miles just to watch you play in the distance.  You have colored my world in with vibrant reds, greens, blues, and purples that come alive before my eyes where there once where pale muted shades.  I can't even begin to explain how much I love you.  You have changed my world, changed my heart, changed my life.  Basically, what I am trying to say is that I will never get tired of watching you grow, and love, and laugh, and discover.  You are my hope, my strength, my joy.  You are a whole year old.  

I love you everyday,

The Proudest Mom in the World