Saturday, January 21, 2012

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

47 Months

Lovey,

Another Christmas come and gone.  Another year, you insist that Christmas is not over and that it will come again soon or tomorrow or in a few more days. (You also insist that if we take the decorations down that it will never snow and we will never get to go skiing.  Because decorations and snow are directly correlated.) I realized that trying to explain the concept of time to a pre-schooler is utterly impossible.  There is just no effective way to explain what the new year means when you have no concept of time.  I have tried showing you a calendar.  And explaining about how you are 3 now but going to be 4.  Hell, I even went into the Earth turning around the sun.  Yeah, you still don't get it.  But you did ask me tonight, "If the Earth is turning all the time, how come we don't feel it and get dizzy?".  Yes, this is the kind of almost 4 year old you are.

I tried to get you to understand the giving spirit of Christmas this year.  I tried explaining that for every gift you want, you would have to think of a gift for someone else.  This back fired a little.  Because all of a sudden, you were feeling very generous. You wanted to give presents to every kid in your class. And lots of toys for me, Aunt Lizzy and Gammy. Pa always seemed to be on the naughty list (with Cash of course) but I am not really sure why. You didn't really grasp the concept of thinking of a gift that the specific person would like.  Although you did pick out a sweater for Auntie B that she really liked and actually did look like something she would wear.  So, kudos on your fashion sense. I got this idea from Parenting Magazine (like last year) for making gifts of mason jars filled with ingredients to make cookies.  I thought it looked pretty easy and something that you could get behind.  You had a lot of fun layering the ingredients, picking out the type of chocolate, and decorating the mason jars. We had a real blast making them.  But the thing that I loved most of all was watching you give them to your teachers.  You were so proud.  You demanded that they unwrap them and show them what you did. (And was the ONLY kid to bring in something home-made. Pat myself on the back, thank you very much.) You were so happy to give. I am hoping that you learned a little bit about the Christmas spirit.

This Christmas was the first that we got to sleep in on Christmas morning.  For as long as I can remember, we got up at 7 or 8 and had to be out of the house by 10:30.  It was always organized chaos between opening gifts, cleaning mass amounts of wrapping paper, and getting ready.  It was nice going to sleep, knowing that we didn't have to rush anywhere.  However, I was still up at 7.  Excited as I have ever been.  Knowing Santa had visited our house.  Waiting to watch the excitement on your face.  Except you decided to sleep.  The one morning that I can't wait to get out of bed and you slept in past 8:30.  At one point, I was staring so intently on your face, simply willing you to wake up.  Wake. Up.  It was uncanny. It did allow me to just watch you for a while and take in the stillness of the morning before all hell broke loose.  When you finally did open your eyes and found me watching you, the first thing you said was "Let's go! Come on Mom"

Waiting for midnight.
We got invited to a New Years party at a church friends house.  She told me that a bunch of kids were going to be there and to bring you.  I thought this sounded brilliant.  Since you came into my life, New Years has become less about a raging party and more about spending time with the one I love most.  Which is you.  So, I got you dressed in your finest sweater vest and you insisted on your sparkle shoes.  Because, you know, its a party.  And a fire man hat for good luck.  I was slightly nervous that you were going to be a little clingy.  Yes, there were going to be kids but you didn't know any of them.  You asked me on the drive over "Is there going to be any dancing at this party." "I'm not sure, Bud.  Maybe."  I am not quite sure what prompted that but evidently you were in the mood to dance.  You found three other 3 year olds the minute we walked into the playroom and I barely saw you for the rest of the night.  I would search around there house for you only to find you snacking on chips and playing.  At one point, you had a dance party with all of the kids and was trying to do the worm to LMFAO's "I'm Sexy and I know It". Kids love that song.  I also found you watching TV, with a girl on each side of you, holding hands.  My friend asked me if she should be nervous about her daughter and step-daughter. Votes not in on that yet.  Around 11, I tried to get you to go home.  You told me that I could leave, but you were staying at the party.  Just before midnight, you found me calling "Mom!  Mom!  Hurry, the new year is starting!"  We went into the kitchen and got pots and pans. I watched the ball drop with you sitting at me feet, itching to go outside and make a lot of noise.  But you were patient enough to give me a hug and kiss before you did.

Gammy and Pa rang in the New Year in Brooklyn so we had the house to ourselves.  We decided to have a big sleep over in my bed.  You hogged the bed, breathing on my neck until 10am.  Pup and Cash took over below our feet.  Snoring.  Because those are our dogs.  Spoiled rotten, snoring, beasts.  All I kept thinking of, on my tiny portion of my big bed, kept awake by snores and body heat, was I love this life.  Wyatt, I love our life.  Every crazy moment.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.  It was a great New Years.  I think 2012 is going to be a really good year.

I love you everyday,
Momma

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Things I Learned in 2011

I learned that Wyatt is a phenomenal traveler.  I could take that kid anywhere.
I actually shockingly enjoy cooking but it has to be my idea and in my time frame.
True friends, no matter how long the absence, will always feel like you saw them yesterday.
Funniest Home Videos always gets me laughing. And it seems to be genetic. Wyatt laughs every time too.
Getting your heart broken sucks. But watching Wyatt's heart get broken is devastating.
I will always feel more like myself when I am near the ocean.

I learned that stepping on Lego's barefoot is horribly painful.
South Carolina still feels like home, even after all these years.
My family is not normal. In a good way.
Cash is a great dog, he just hasn't reached his full potential yet.
I hate texting.
Despite my best efforts, Wyatt will pick up unsavory behavior that I will have no control over, ie: phumming, spiderman, ninjas, etc.

I have learned that what will be, will be and there is really not much I can do about it.
I am really going to miss Lizzy when she goes back to school.
We live in a really small town, sometimes I love this and other times I hate it.
I can't say no to a cuddly sleepy child.
Lazer hair removal was the most frivolous thing I have ever done. But I am SO happy with the results.
I love giving gifts but sometimes it is also nice to receive. I need to get better at receiving.

I have learned to let go. I cannot fix everything. I am only human. Sometimes you just have to let go.
I am not Shakespeare but writing helps me get through everything.
Wyatt can find joy in the littlest things. I am going to try and be more like him this year.
Everything is temporary, the good and the bad.
I am proud that I am happy 8 out of every 10 days. I would just rather be happy.
There are no rules in the game of love. I can't help what my heart wants no matter what my brain says.

I will never get tired of listening to Wyatt put Cash in time out.
Life moves so fast, don't blink or you might miss something.
Wyatt's imagination is forcing me to be more creative. I accept the challenge. Let's see what we can dream up in 2012.
I still need to learn to stop being so optimistic and a little more realistic.
I am a sucker for calloused hands and a pickup truck. Works every time.
Long Beach is an instant vacation. I love it there and could never thank Jen enough for introducing us.

I have learned to keep my family and sisters top priority; I will let nothing come in between our relationship again.
Wyatt says the most amazing and hilarious things. I vow to start carrying a notepad to get them all down.
You never know how quickly life can change.
I will never grow tired of being Wyatt's Mom.
My most favorite time of day is bedtime, reading books to Wyatt, and feeling him fall asleep in the crook of my arm. And I am lucky enough that I get to do it almost every night.
I am ready for my next big adventure.