Bean On the Brain

"The Weather is going to be Pretty Snowy"

2012-01-28T08:37:00.000-05:00

3 Going On 70

2012-01-21T08:11:00.003-05:00

Just Checkin Out My Rims, NBD.

2012-01-14T22:07:00.000-05:00

47 Months

2012-01-10T21:45:00.000-05:00

Lovey,

Another Christmas come and gone. Another year, you insist that Christmas is not over and that it will come again soon or tomorrow or in a few more days. (You also insist that if we take the decorations down that it will never snow and we will never get to go skiing. Because decorations and snow are directly correlated.) I realized that trying to explain the concept of time to a pre-schooler is utterly impossible. There is just no effective way to explain what the new year means when you have no concept of time. I have tried showing you a calendar. And explaining about how you are 3 now but going to be 4. Hell, I even went into the Earth turning around the sun. Yeah, you still don't get it. But you did ask me tonight, "If the Earth is turning all the time, how come we don't feel it and get dizzy?". Yes, this is the kind of almost 4 year old you are.

I tried to get you to understand the giving spirit of Christmas this year. I tried explaining that for every gift you want, you would have to think of a gift for someone else. This back fired a little. Because all of a sudden, you were feeling very generous. You wanted to give presents to every kid in your class. And lots of toys for me, Aunt Lizzy and Gammy. Pa always seemed to be on the naughty list (with Cash of course) but I am not really sure why. You didn't really grasp the concept of thinking of a gift that the specific person would like. Although you did pick out a sweater for Auntie B that she really liked and actually did look like something she would wear. So, kudos on your fashion sense. I got this idea from Parenting Magazine (like last year) for making gifts of mason jars filled with ingredients to make cookies. I thought it looked pretty easy and something that you could get behind. You had a lot of fun layering the ingredients, picking out the type of chocolate, and decorating the mason jars. We had a real blast making them. But the thing that I loved most of all was watching you give them to your teachers. You were so proud. You demanded that they unwrap them and show them what you did. (And was the ONLY kid to bring in something home-made. Pat myself on the back, thank you very much.) You were so happy to give. I am hoping that you learned a little bit about the Christmas spirit.

This Christmas was the first that we got to sleep in on Christmas morning. For as long as I can remember, we got up at 7 or 8 and had to be out of the house by 10:30. It was always organized chaos between opening gifts, cleaning mass amounts of wrapping paper, and getting ready. It was nice going to sleep, knowing that we didn't have to rush anywhere. However, I was still up at 7. Excited as I have ever been. Knowing Santa had visited our house. Waiting to watch the excitement on your face. Except you decided to sleep. The one morning that I can't wait to get out of bed and you slept in past 8:30. At one point, I was staring so intently on your face, simply willing you to wake up. Wake. Up. It was uncanny. It did allow me to just watch you for a while and take in the stillness of the morning before all hell broke loose. When you finally did open your eyes and found me watching you, the first thing you said was "Let's go! Come on Mom"

Waiting for midnight.

We got invited to a New Years party at a church friends house. She told me that a bunch of kids were going to be there and to bring you. I thought this sounded brilliant. Since you came into my life, New Years has become less about a raging party and more about spending time with the one I love most. Which is you. So, I got you dressed in your finest sweater vest and you insisted on your sparkle shoes. Because, you know, its a party. And a fire man hat for good luck. I was slightly nervous that you were going to be a little clingy. Yes, there were going to be kids but you didn't know any of them. You asked me on the drive over "Is there going to be any dancing at this party." "I'm not sure, Bud. Maybe." I am not quite sure what prompted that but evidently you were in the mood to dance. You found three other 3 year olds the minute we walked into the playroom and I barely saw you for the rest of the night. I would search around there house for you only to find you snacking on chips and playing. At one point, you had a dance party with all of the kids and was trying to do the worm to LMFAO's "I'm Sexy and I know It". Kids love that song. I also found you watching TV, with a girl on each side of you, holding hands. My friend asked me if she should be nervous about her daughter and step-daughter. Votes not in on that yet. Around 11, I tried to get you to go home. You told me that I could leave, but you were staying at the party. Just before midnight, you found me calling "Mom! Mom! Hurry, the new year is starting!" We went into the kitchen and got pots and pans. I watched the ball drop with you sitting at me feet, itching to go outside and make a lot of noise. But you were patient enough to give me a hug and kiss before you did.

Gammy and Pa rang in the New Year in Brooklyn so we had the house to ourselves. We decided to have a big sleep over in my bed. You hogged the bed, breathing on my neck until 10am. Pup and Cash took over below our feet. Snoring. Because those are our dogs. Spoiled rotten, snoring, beasts. All I kept thinking of, on my tiny portion of my big bed, kept awake by snores and body heat, was I love this life. Wyatt, I love our life. Every crazy moment. I wouldn't trade it for anything. It was a great New Years. I think 2012 is going to be a really good year.

I love you everyday,
Momma

"When is it Going to Be Christmas Again?"

2012-01-07T06:43:00.000-05:00

Things I Learned in 2011

2012-01-01T16:52:00.001-05:00

I learned that Wyatt is a phenomenal traveler. I could take that kid anywhere.
I actually shockingly enjoy cooking but it has to be my idea and in my time frame.
True friends, no matter how long the absence, will always feel like you saw them yesterday.
Funniest Home Videos always gets me laughing. And it seems to be genetic. Wyatt laughs every time too.
Getting your heart broken sucks. But watching Wyatt's heart get broken is devastating.
I will always feel more like myself when I am near the ocean.

I learned that stepping on Lego's barefoot is horribly painful.
South Carolina still feels like home, even after all these years.
My family is not normal. In a good way.
Cash is a great dog, he just hasn't reached his full potential yet.
I hate texting.
Despite my best efforts, Wyatt will pick up unsavory behavior that I will have no control over, ie: phumming, spiderman, ninjas, etc.

I have learned that what will be, will be and there is really not much I can do about it.
I am really going to miss Lizzy when she goes back to school.
We live in a really small town, sometimes I love this and other times I hate it.
I can't say no to a cuddly sleepy child.
Lazer hair removal was the most frivolous thing I have ever done. But I am SO happy with the results.
I love giving gifts but sometimes it is also nice to receive. I need to get better at receiving.

I have learned to let go. I cannot fix everything. I am only human. Sometimes you just have to let go.
I am not Shakespeare but writing helps me get through everything.
Wyatt can find joy in the littlest things. I am going to try and be more like him this year.
Everything is temporary, the good and the bad.
I am proud that I am happy 8 out of every 10 days. I would just rather be happy.
There are no rules in the game of love. I can't help what my heart wants no matter what my brain says.

I will never get tired of listening to Wyatt put Cash in time out.
Life moves so fast, don't blink or you might miss something.
Wyatt's imagination is forcing me to be more creative. I accept the challenge. Let's see what we can dream up in 2012.
I still need to learn to stop being so optimistic and a little more realistic.
I am a sucker for calloused hands and a pickup truck. Works every time.
Long Beach is an instant vacation. I love it there and could never thank Jen enough for introducing us.

I have learned to keep my family and sisters top priority; I will let nothing come in between our relationship again.
Wyatt says the most amazing and hilarious things. I vow to start carrying a notepad to get them all down.
You never know how quickly life can change.
I will never grow tired of being Wyatt's Mom.
My most favorite time of day is bedtime, reading books to Wyatt, and feeling him fall asleep in the crook of my arm. And I am lucky enough that I get to do it almost every night.
I am ready for my next big adventure.

This Has to be Good Luck, right?

2011-12-31T18:38:00.001-05:00

Christmas in Pictures

2011-12-27T16:37:00.000-05:00

The stockings were hung...

The amount of gifts under the tree seems to be growing exponential every year. I think it is because we have the 3 girls, plus Wyatt, buying gifts instead of just my parents. Each of us had at least 2 presents for each family member, sometimes more. It is a little ridiculous and I have to admit to being a little embarrassed about the quantity. One of Wyatt's favorite gifts was a kid's digital camera that Terry gave to him. He took a picture of every gift he got and the tree and almost everything else. He was being very patient waiting for the girls to get up and even took a picture of Santa's half eaten cookies.

I have been talking a lot about taking Wyatt skiing this winter (if we get any snow, none yet). I think it is best to start them off early. Most of my skiing stuff I have outgrown or lost through the years. It has been almost 5 years for me. I am proud to say that Wyatt and I are now set for the slopes. I got him a helmet and goggles, that he would try on periodically try on throughout the day. Becca got me goggles and Mom got me a new NorthFace and snow pants.

Wyatt's last present was a box with a note from Santa inside. It said "Dear Wyatt, I can't fit your last present under the tree. Go check on the back deck. Merry Christmas! Love, Santa" Lizzy read the note to Wyatt and he BOOKED it outside, ran right past the HUGE power wheels fire truck and looked up on the roof. Clearly, if Santa was going to leave him a gift it would be on the roof. When he finally saw the truck his entire face lit up. It was the best part of Christmas. We eventually moved it inside so he could really see it instead of sitting out in the cold. Lizzy gave him an entire fireman outfit that he insisted on wearing while riding in his truck. So worth every penny.

The maiden voyage. He took driving very seriously. He would be smiling from ear to ear then put his foot on the gas pedal and go very serious. I kept on telling him to stay by the curb and he kept telling me "I can't, Mom. I don't have my divers' license yet. And my sirens are on so the cars will move out of the way." Did I mention the very loud working sirens? Finally, Lizzy drew him up a fake divers' license. I am envisioning hours of fun this summer. Now, if only we had somewhere to store it for the winter. I told Dad that he might need to build a garage for it.

Traditionally, we have an epic board game the day after Christmas. This year, the board game was over shadowed be the HUGE amount of Lego's Wyatt received. At one point the 3 of us were building while Wyatt stood by and supervised. He has got us all whipped. Dad bought Wyatt and I this sorting system that I just spent an hour organizing. I am about 1/2 way done. As I am typing, Cash fell into the whole thing, knocking everything to the floor. I am listening to this happening right now. I refuse to look. That dog will be the end of me. My bedroom is coined the "Lego Room" that is how many new sets he got. His train table has been dismantled to carry the load. I wouldn't have it any other way.

This Christmas was awesome. As Wyatt gets older, experiencing the magic through his eyes is breath taking. The spirit, the love, the joy, the excitement of Christmas lives in his every move. Its contagious. My Christmas spirit was feed by his. It makes spending all this money so worth it. Out of all my Christmas's, all of the wonder of my childhood, this Christmas was by far the best because I got to make Christmas magical for my boy.

Is It Really Christmas Already?

2011-12-24T07:26:00.000-05:00

Diary of an Arrested Priest

2011-12-19T11:19:00.000-05:00

I am not sure if I am suppose to be posting this. But I will, because I think my cousin Michael is an amazing writer and the story of his run in with the law is moving. I hope you enjoy this story and much as I did. And, Michael, thank you for capturing everything so eloquently. We are all so proud of you.

“Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?”
-Matthew 25:37-40

"The church is the church only when it exists for others." - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

On Saturday, December 17th 2011, in the third week of Advent, I was arrested in a vacant lot owned by Trinity Church, New York.

Earlier that day, I had visited the flagship Apple Store to purchase a Macbook Air as a Christmas gift for my brother. My wife and I strolled down 5th Avenue looking at the Christmas decorations, soaking in the holiday spirit and window shopping. It was a refreshingly crisp winter day and New York was glittering and beautiful. After some lunch at a Vietnamese restaurant in SOHO, I went to join clergy colleagues at an Occupy Wall Street celebration and rally at 6th Avenue and Canal street.

I became involved in the OWS movement when a visit to Zuccotti Park in September motivated by simple curiosity turned out to be a convicting religious experience. The encampment in Zuccotti seemed to me a post-modern incarnation of the community depicted in the book of Acts. Sharing things in common, working for the common good, wrestling with the fundamental inequities in society. Since that visit, I have spent as much time as I could listening to the prophetic voices coming out of the movement. I have helped coordinate housing and food for occupiers. I have been part of ongoing discussions among faith leaders throughout the city, the country and the world regarding the urgent need for a dramatic shift in the economic and social realities which are crippling God’s people. I have preached about the movement, with the movement and to the movement. Over the past three months, I have come to view OWS as both a catalyst and a first fruit of the change I wish to see in the world as a person of faith. Not only do I support what the movement stands for and hopes to accomplish, I also support and love the human beings who make up this movement. They are sacraments of God’s love, God’s justice and God’s peace among us.

On the 17th, occupiers and various community leaders from New York (and beyond) gathered to celebrate the movement’s three month mark. Several civil rights heroes of mine were expected to speak and I wanted to meet them. I planned to visit the celebration and then return home and rest before Sunday. I thought, “Is it really only one week till Christmas? Where has the time gone? Has OWS only been a reality for three months? Wow...it seems a lot has happened in that time. What a gift to the world!”

The mood at the rally was celebratory. There was a general sense of enthusiasm, happiness and passionate commitment. The Church needs more of all three. As I came around the corner where folks were gathering, I spoke with some other clergy who passed on the word that folks were planning to go forward with an act of civil disobedience. They would be entering the vacant lot which had been proposed as a Winter encampment site for OWS. This made me a little uncomfortable. I had considered participating in civil disobedience on other occasions, but had evaluated each situation and decided that it was not right for me personally to participate. I felt the same way today. I did not think that entering the lot would move the good people of Trinity to change their minds regarding use of the space. I was also not sure how helpful the action would be to the movement and, truth be told, I had not planned to stick around for more than an hour. So, I decided not to participate if any act of civil disobedience did take place. I would be there as a non-violent witness, an OWS supporter and a representative of the Church. Good enough.

As the rally unfolded, I was standing near Bishop Packard (retired bishop to the Armed Services), his wife, other clergy and faith leaders. Suddenly, a large staircase emerged from the crowd and was placed against the fence on the north side of the lot. Was it Jacob’s ladder? People began to cheer. Banners were raised. I watched as Bishop Packard went up the stairs and over the fence in a purple cassock and cincture given to him by the Archbishop of Canterbury. His cassock ripped and he fell to the ground on his back. I lunged forward in fear and concern. At that same moment, the police began to push in hard on the crowd. I could feel the physical pressure through dozens of people whose bodies were pressing on mine. More people began to climb the staircase. Up and over they went into an empty gravel lot. And there was jubilation! Could standing in an empty lot really cause so much excitement, so much joy? They felt completely liberated. I could see it on their faces.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a large gathering of police wearing riot gear and carrying weapons. My stomach drops. When I was 16 years old, a police officer hit me hard on the arm with a Maglite on the beach my hometown. It left a painful bruise for weeks. That act of violence was minor compared to what I have seen happen to participants in the OWS movement for simply sitting still.

I look at the people inside the fence and have a feeling which I can only describe as overwhelming love and concern. I must decide, in an instant, where to place my body as a priest. It is no time for sitting on the fence. I climb the stairs and enter the lot. People are cheering and chanting, some are crying, some are silent. I see a sign which read, “Trinity Church- Hero of 9/11. Be a hero again!” I turn and flashed a peace sign to the crowd and to the cops. The same thing I do with parishioners whose hands I can’t reach from the aisle on Sunday. Where are the Trinity clergy? The work of non-violent peacemaking is not best left to the quasi-military NYPD. My iphone vibrates in my hand as I dash toward someone who has fallen over the fence. On the phone is a reporter from the Episcopal News Service. “Michael,”she says. “Are you there? What’s happening?” I tell her that occupiers have entered the lot and I have entered with them. My attention is with the fallen women. “Are you ok?” I ask. She nods and brushes herself off. I say into the phone, “As a priest, I have to be with my people and these are my people. I am here in solidarity with them.” Full stop. I have a deep and overwhelming sense of responsibility that cannot be overcome by reason or logic. It this what it feels like to be a parent? Is this what the incarnation really means? Damn it. What have I climbed into?

This may sound like overstatement, but the option of not going over that fence felt roughly equivalent to abandoning Christ on the cross. I kid you not. I felt the pain and the courage of the occupiers viscerally. I could not let them go alone. Not with the risk of violence which I saw mounting. Not after I had stood with them and they with me in so many other places. My conscience as a priest and as a human being took over and I knew which side of the fence I had to be on. It was obvious. As someone whose spirituality is deeply rooted in the liturgy, I heard the words spoken by my Bishop on the day of my ordination,“You are to love and serve the people among whom you work, caring alike for young and old, strong and weak, rich and poor...My brother, do you believe that you are truly called by God and his Church to this priesthood. Answer: I believe I am so called.”

Some clergy and I begin to sing, “Lo How a Rose E’er Blooming” as the police enter the lot in force. We’re attempting to calm the tension and embody a non-violent, peaceful presence. I realize that I still have the Episcopal News Service on the phone in my hand. “I have to go,” I say, and put the phone in my pocket. The police come in fast and hard. I raise my hands. Was I blessing them? Was I trying to slow them down? Was I showing them that I had nothing in my hands? I can’t say for sure. Maybe all three. An older male officer in a white shirt throws a young woman next to me to the ground and jams his knee into her back with his full weight. I lunge forward and shout, “This is not necessary! She’s not resisting you! Just calm down!” He looks up and I see him glance at my collar. “You calm down!” he shouts at me as he gets up, moves toward me and brings his pointer finger within an inch of my face. Then he turns to another officer and shouts angrily, “Start collaring people!” Are we having an ordination?

A younger male officer, as gently and kindly as a mother touches her child, takes hold of my arms and puts plastic cuffs on me. He does so, dare I say, lovingly.

The officer in the white shirt moves on to another young woman wearing a pink Tutu. He flings her around roughly and onto a makeshift bench face down. Her bag goes flying. He twists her arm dramatically behind her and shoves it upward toward her shoulder as he pushes her off the bench and onto the ground. Her stockings rip and her knees begin to bleed. I can see the pain on her face. Not just physical, but spiritual. “Stop it! You’re hurting her!” I shout. Is my voice audible? The officer man-handling her turns and looks at me again. His face is red with rage.

The gentle officer holding me appears to be upset. “Are you ok?” he asks me.“I’m fine,” I say. “But I am concerned about these other people. Can you stop him from being so rough?” The officer shrugs and raises his eyebrows dispassionately. I see sadness in his face. He sees the concern in my eyes.

I look around as action in the lot comes to a stop. Who is here? A humble bishop in ripped vestments, a group of ecumenical clergy, a Roman Catholic nun, students, hunger strikers, parents, grandparents, and others. What crime have they committed? Stepping onto church property as a statement of solidarity with the poor, the least and the lost. This motley crew has hurt no one and is hardly threatening. No personal property has been destroyed. In Advent, we celebrate the in-breaking of God and they call this trespassing. We better be careful with our theology.

I cannot make sense of this situation. I cannot get past the fact that I am an Episcopal priest standing in a vacant lot owned by an Episcopal parish, performing a priestly duty and I am under arrest. Wow. I think about my wife and how she is expecting me home right about now. I’m sorry. I did not plan to climb any fences, but here I am.

In John’s gospel it says, “The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.’ Nicodemus [asked], ‘How can these things be?’ Jesus answered him, ‘Are you a teacher of Israel, and yet you do not understand these things?” (John 3:8-10) There are so many things that I do not understand, and I am supposed to be a teacher of the faith. Lord, help me to understand.

As we are loaded onto the police bus, people sing, “We shall Occupy” to the tune of, “We shall Overcome.” I sit silently on the bus and stare out the window as people stop their cars in the middle of traffic, get out and cheer. People on the sidewalks down Canal street pump their fists in the air. Some on the bus feel encouraged. I am overcome with sadness as the brokenness of the world floods my soul. Where is the greatness of God in this season of Advent? Be still and know that I am God.

As I am having my mugshot taken, the flash of light reminds me of the Angel Gabriel appearing to Mary in the gospel I am not yet ready to preach tomorrow morning. “For nothing will be impossible with God.” (Luke 1:37) God grant me courage and wisdom in these troubled times. Grant me strength of heart and mind and soul and body to say alongside Mary, "Here am I, the servant of the Lord; Let it be with me according to your word."

One by one we are processed, separated male and female and locked into large holding cells. Inside, we talk about the movement and how desperately we want peace, justice and equality for all God’s people. Clergy speak one on one with occupiers. The bishop convenes a General Assembly. We talk about the experience of being arrested. We get to know one another and share our stories. Several occupiers remark about how much better they have been treated during the arrest. They reckon it is because clergy are present. I find that small bit of good news gratifying. A supervising officer brings us bread, cheese and milk. It reminds me of being in kindergarten and having snack delivered to the classroom. Someone asks, “Can I have two milks?” Response: “Don’t push it.” Fair enough.

A hunger-striker who had not eaten for 15 days as part of “the ask” for Trinity to grant use of this empty lot to the movement rises to his feet. He does so slowly and unsteadily from a bench in the corner of our cell. A tear runs down his face. "It is an honor and a privilege to break bread with you today, my friends." The hair on my arms stands up. I cry. Others do too. This is one of the clearest experiences of “church” in my life. Christ is palpably present in this cell as sure as you’re born. I could have reached out and touched the wounds if I wanted to. My middle name is Thomas, after all. We embrace the breaker of bread and each other.

As I recount this Eucharistic moment to my congregation on Sunday morning after my release, I weep in the pulpit. Sweet sacrament divine. As I end my sermon and walk to my stall, people stand and applaud. They are not applauding me. They are applauding the presence of Christ in the midst of brokenness. I can feel it. I cry all the way through the Nicene Creed. That’s got to be a new one. I look around through my tears and members of my choir are crying. As I distribute the Body of Christ to my parishioners as I do every week in almost exactly the same way, something is different. People grab my hands and hold them. Not one person, but many. One man who always keeps his eyes down looks me straight in the eyes. “The Body of Christ,” I say. “In the name of justice,” he says. I lose it and begin sobbing. I almost drop the patten. Another parishioner approaches with tears in her eyes. “The Body of Christ,” I say. “Thank you,” she manages while holding my shoulder and squeezing. Tears hit the Host. “The Body of Christ,” I say to one of my wardens. He says to me, “I want to shake your hand.”

At the end of the service, I raise my hands which were cuffed behind my back the night before. “Life is short, and there is not much time to gladden the hearts of those around us. So, be swift to love and make haste to be kind. And the blessing of God Almighty, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit be with you and remain with you always.”

Forgive us, Lord. We know not what we do. I did not mean to trespass on your holy vacant lot. But I did, and now you’ve broken into me. How can I keep from singing?

Lo, how a Rose e'er blooming from tender stem hath sprung!
Of Jesse's lineage coming, as men of old have sung.
It came, a floweret bright, amid the cold of winter,
When half spent was the night.

Isaiah 'twas foretold it, the Rose I have in mind;
Mary we behold it, the Virgin Mother kind.
To show God's love aright, she bore to us a Savior,
When half spent was the night.

The shepherds heard the story proclaimed by angels bright,
How Christ, the Lord of glory was born on earth this night.
To Bethlehem they sped and in the manger they found Him,
As angel heralds said.

This Flower, whose fragrance tender with sweetness fills the air,
Dispels with glorious splendor the darkness everywhere;
True man, yet very God, from sin and death He saves us,
And lightens every load.

The Kingdom of God is inside us and all around us. The world is a mess and yet the beauty of community is springing up in the most unexpected places. In an empty lot. In a prison cell. God is building staircases into our hearts this Advent. Sacrificial love is rushing up those stairs. It is the most powerful force on earth and it cannot be stopped. “We are unstoppable,” says God. “Another world is possible.”

What happened on the 17th of December will be forgotten pretty soon. The media cycle will move on. People and institutions will move on. I’m out of jail now, but I am still arrested. God’s Holy Spirit has placed me under arrest. It’s troubling and comforting and overwhelming. I feel completely alive and scared and hopeful. I believe, Lord. Help my unbelief. Help me climb your staircase one step at a time and meet me on the other side. For you promised,“I will never leave you or forsake you.” Be with us all in this season of brokenness and mending.

That's My Boy

2011-12-17T07:24:00.001-05:00

46 Months

2011-12-10T10:29:00.001-05:00

My Wyatt,

As always, you are pretty stoked for Christmas. Not quite getting the whole gift giving thing though. I told you that for every present you ask for you have to think of something to give someone else. You want to give a light up amblance to Aunt Lizzy, I am getting some Lego's so we can play together, you want to buy your friend Max a Power Wheels police car, and Emme almost every girl toy in every catlog. Its more about toys that you want and then you arbitrarily gift them to someone else. Aunt Lizzy, Auntie B, and I bought Gammy and Pa a new refridgerator for Christmas but had it delivered early to avoid confusion and craziness. Of course, you came with us and we all had to explain about surprises and secrets about a million times. You were doing so well and then you totally spilled the beans to Pa. Also casually asking Gammy "when is the refrigerator being dropped off?" I would tell you its a secret and you would whine, "But I wanna tell them." You picked out (INSISTED that I buy) a lovely sweater for Auntie B which you promptly told her about on the phone. Clearly, you can't keep a secret.

I have to touch on a few things. First on Thanksgiving, you helped me in the kitchen making these amazing baked mashed potatoes. You mashed them all by yourself then was convinced that everyone was going to hug you because you "are the campion masher." I told you that I was sure you were going to get hugs anyway. Second, you went Christmas tree cutting with the family, unfortunately I had to work and was unable to go. (I was very upset about this but redeemed my day by spending hours at Nana's assembling your Power Wheels. I was smiling the entire time, no joke. Just anticipating seeing you on Christmas morning is making me smile.) There is nothing more heartbreaking then hearing your sweet little voice on the phone telling me you miss me. It never gets old.

I got pulled over the other day. It was my first time since 2006. We talk alot about getting pulled over by the police, and getting tickets, and red light cameras. They are all very interesting to you. So, when I got pulled over, lights and everything, I thought your head was going to explode. At first, you were a little nervous just because you didn't understand what was happening and then it was all questions. By the time the cop got to me, I was hysterical laughing. He said that laughing at a ticket wasn't something he had experienced before. I told him that I didn't even care about the ticket but could he pretty please talk to you for a minute. The ticket would have been so worth your amazment. You chatted for a while and the cop said he was going to let me off but ONLY because you were so cute. Then demanded that I be very good to you for Christmas. Best part is now you are telling everyone "Momma almost got arrested but she didn't because I am so cute." Yes. That is exactly what happened.

You have been doing this thing lately where you come up to me and touch my face. Lightly brushing your finger tips across my cheek and forhead then always landing on my nose. I honestly can say I have no idea why you have been doing this. I thought maybe it is because I rub your head or run my fingers through your hair (its getting long and you don't want a haircut). Its endearing and totally random. You will be in the middle of playing, stop what you are doing, look up and jump on my lap. I give you a hug and a kiss and send you on your way. When I told Gammy about it, she said that you just love me. That you can see how much you adore me. Well, my love, the feeling is mutual. I can't stop myself from covering you in kisses. I hope Gammy is right.

I love you everyday,
Momma

W-Y-A-T-T

2011-12-03T08:22:00.000-05:00

The List of all Lists

2011-11-23T11:24:00.011-05:00

Wyatt has been writing his Christmas list for a long time. Mostly it consists of trucks, Lego's, and more trucks. He just rearranges the order of importance. When we were finalizing the list to send to Santa, he threw me a doozie:

Can you read that? That little bitty request at the bottom. Well, if you can't, it says A BROTHER. As in, another human. Oh shit you guys. Can I pee my pants now?

I can't say that this is ENTIRELY a surprise. He has been asking a decent amount about brothers. Just a lot of questions really. Which of his friends have siblings? How is Aunt Lizzy my sister? That kind of stuff. I think it started when Gammy was opening peanuts with Wy. (Do you see how easy that was to blame Gammy? Ha!) She would open them and ask if it had a brother or not. Wyatt started doing it. Then he started asking if he could have a brother. I told him maybe someday but definitely not any time soon. Then we were shopping in the mall and the "All I want for Christmas is a Brother" song came on. Yeah. I had never heard of it either. It was as if a lightbulb went off above Wyatt's head.

"Santa can bring me a brother?"
"Bud, I'm not really sure that Santa can bring you a human. Santa only deals with toys."
"But maybe I could ask him for one."
Ok, different tactic. "Are you sure you would want a brother? That means you would have to share your toys and your Momma."
"Well, maybe I want a big brother. So, he could have big toys."
That's when I let the conversation drop because I was pretty confident I was not going to win any arguments. I have a hard time out-smarting him sometimes, especially when he gets something in his head.

So, a few days later when we are writing his list, I am wondering if he is going to bring it up. We got so close to the end and then he throws out the brother card. And just to clarify, he goes "A REAL big brother. Not a toy." Then watches to see if I wrote that down.

What to do? What to do? Clearly, it is at the bottom of his list. I am sure once he finds the Power Wheels Fire Truck (that has already been purchased and fought for at ToysRUs! So Excited!) he will forget all about that pesky brother business. Can I adopt a big brother somewhere? Or maybe just borrow one for a day or two? I am sure that will curb his need for a sibling. Robot siblings, anyone?

God Bwess AmeriKa

2011-11-18T13:48:00.000-05:00

I have never sang this before to Wyatt. My dad used to sing it to Wyatt when he was a baby. See: Wyatt's Singing Debut. Then, one night at dinner, Wyatt busted out the entire song. He said he learned it at school. We make him sing it all the time now because it is too damn cute. Hey, at least I know they are teaching him something! Love, Love Love.

Lego's Farting

2011-11-12T08:39:00.000-05:00

45 Months

2011-11-09T17:20:00.000-05:00

Fireman Wyatt,

I took you to 3 Firehouse open houses. Yes, 3. Because you are obsessed. The GC one seemed to be your favorite. You got to ride on a truck then watched as they lit an old oven on fire. There was a police helicopter that took off and circled the building. When I put you inside the helicopter, you announced "My dada's helicopter is bigger then this one." and look around unimpressed. The pilot was a little put off and a little amused at the same time. Then a fireman repelled from the roof of the building. But by far your favorite, was when they staged an accident and had to use the jaws of life to rip a car apart. I expected to be there for a hour and we stayed for 3. You couldn't get enough. You have a collection of plastic fire helmets and went dressed in your finest firman coat and boots to each fire station. Whenever I call you a "Silly goose", you correct me saying "Mom, you can just call me Fireman Wyatt." Most of the firemen were so impressed with how much you knew and the one company said you could visit whenever you wanted.

If I ask you what you want to be when you grow up you always say a fireman, however more recently you want to be a fireman and a lego artist. Because you can do both. You could spend hours pouring your lego's out and designing cars or garages or firehouses. You are so patient and meticulous, knowing exactly which piece you are looking for. You have a ton of Duplo's but have expertly moved on the the little ones. Most of the time, I am buying 5-12 year old lego's. I use the "menus" as you call them, and put them together for you the first time. Then you play. But almost always, you can put them back together if they break.

We had a playdate adventure with Faetra in Brooklyn. We found the Prospect Park Zoo, which is an adorably cute zoo (maybe better then Central Park in my humble opinion). You smushed yourself in these fake egg shells and pronounce "Eggs marks the spot!" You out punned all of the adults around. You found this little pond with fixed plastic lilly pads for jumping, bull frog style. You loved it. We left that area and you kept stearing us back to them. You were jumping when it got crowed very quickly. Faetra and I were chatting just to look up and watch a young boy (around 6, I think) crowd you and then push you into the water. You got out rather quickly and looked around mildly confused. I wasn't sure if you were going to cry or push him in. It was a cold day and you got soaked to your knees. We went to the bathroom and put you under the hand dryer. You went shoeless around Brooklyn for the rest of the day. Then proceeded to the bar to dry you off. You have been talking about the boy who pushed you off the lilly pad for days now.

You have been spending a lot of time in my bed lately. Its regression at its finest. Sometimes you ask me in your sweetest voice if we can have a sleep over in your bed. Which I know I should say no but sometimes I give in. If I put my foot down you usually end up padding your way to my door around 1am or so. Or there was the one time when you went into Gammy's room and got her because I told you to stay in your bed. I know its bad. And I am fully aware, it is a problem with me and not with you. I am 100% positive that if I stuck to my guns and stood my ground, you would be in your bed from 8-8. I just can't resist your cuteness. Especially, that sleepy, warm and comfy snuggle fest that happens around 3am. You are so angelic when you are sleeping peacefully. I don't think I could ever kick you out of my bed. And definitely not when you walk in saying "Momma, I missed you."

I love you everyday.
Momma

J'Adore la Citrouille

2011-11-05T08:42:00.005-04:00

Halloweenie!!

2011-10-31T13:27:00.000-04:00

Wyatt asked, some time ago, to be a cherry picker for Halloween. I thought about it and decided that it might be to hard for me to pull off. I figured that I could plant an idea of something easier before it came time to start creating. Thankfully, he changed his mind. About a month ago, he decided he wanted to be a road. With fire trucks on it. And maybe something on fire. And it should probably be Mountain Ave. Easy! Done! I can do that! All I needed was a black sweatsuit, yellow duct tape, velcro, matchbox cars, and a street sign. And Mountain Ave was created:

And because I am super ambitious, I made street signs for the entire family so that we could all trick-or-treat as our town. And let me tell you, Wyatt OWNED that costume. He marched for the entire Halloween parade and explained (in detail) to every person who asked about his costume. He was the only "road" in his class of super hero's. I am so proud of him that he chose his costume. That he is already owning his decisions and being uniquely Wyatt. He is loving every minute.

Oh and did I mention that he WON first place original costume!! Oh, yes, he did! Two years in a row!! Jeez, there is going to be a lot of pressure for next year.

Wyatt also made a special request when carving pumpkins. Again, this year, he was less then enthused about the gutting. But he was very demanding about wanting to carve a fire truck into the pumpkin. Because there are haunted fire houses and sometimes fire trucks are spooky. After googling "fire truck pumpkin carving template" drew a big blank, I found a simple outline and we carved a fire truck.

We found this adorable Rice Krispie pumpkin mold at Hicks Nursery. Wyatt loved it and decided he wanted to make pumpkins for his class for show n' tell on friday. Basically, I made them while Wyatt ate marshmallows. He did decorate the box we brought them in with "spooky" stickers. His teachers said he handed one out to each kid and was very excited when the class thanked him. One parent even asked me where I bought them. Yeah, not so much. We're rock stars!

Are you Ready Halloween?

2011-10-29T08:37:00.001-04:00

Love Fest

2011-10-22T08:34:00.000-04:00

Wyatt One Liners - Yummy!

2011-10-19T14:01:00.000-04:00

We are driving home in the car around 1pm. I bought a pack of M&M's and I am trying to keep him awake until we get home. (He has a huge problem with falling asleep with in the car when we are 2 minutes away from home.) I explained that M&M's taste really good but they don't give him energy or make him bigger.
"But they're yummy."
"Yeah, Bud. But they're not good for you so just a few." He goes quiet and continues to eat them. A few minutes later I turn and he's got chocolate dripping down his face.
"Hey. Can Momma have a red one?"
"I found one." He passes a red one up.
"Can Momma have a yellow one?"
"Mom, there not really good for you. You will get a tummy ache."
I laughed; my own logic begin used against me. After a while I asked again for another one to no response. When I turned to look, he was sound asleep clutching his bag of M&M's and covered in chocolate.

We were at a restaurant and the waitress asked Wyatt's name. She mentioned that her nephew is also named Wyatt. Wyatt prompt yells out "Two Wyatt's? That's crazy!" I don't think he has ever met someone else named Wyatt or had heard of anyone else. It took me a long time to convince him that there was only one him but others with his name. He still thinks its crazy.

While in Colorado, we were having tiramisu for dessert that was artfully crafted into a pyramid. Also, it was absolutely delicious. The chef placed one in front of Wyatt, then asked what I would like. "I'll have the tiramisu too, please.".
"Mom! You're getting the pyramid too?"
"The tiramisu. Yes."
He turns to the boy sitting next to him and says, "She's having the pyramid too!!"

We are playing and Wyatt rips this huge fart. "Mom, get out your gas mask! I did a big toodles!" Another classic Wyatt-ism is when the dog farts and he implored us to "light a candle in here."

I was making dinner, a honey hosin chicken thing, that was smelling pretty good. Wyatt was upstairs playing with his trains. He comes barreling down and smashed into my legs by the stove. "Mom! What is the yummy smell?" I explained and he went back upstairs without a word. He didn't even try it. I had to make him fish sticks.

Brass Rings

2011-10-15T16:32:00.003-04:00

44 Months

2011-10-12T21:03:00.003-04:00

Bud,

You have been pretty obsessed with YouTube lately. At first you loved watching fire trucks in action. Tours of fire trucks, trucks rushing to fires, bizarre montages of companies trucks set to music. Then it was garbage trucks. Then it was adorably cute british cartoons like Peppa Pig, Postman Pat, and Fireman Sam. Then it was the crazy expensive, totally awesome toys from Rokenbok, that you want to put on your Christmas list. Unfortunately, I don't think even Santa can afford them. Just when I thought we couldn't find anymore bizarre things on YouTube, you out did yourself. Your latest fascination has been with Lego videos of police stations and fire trucks. These are mostly stop-motion videos of people building Legos. But you also found some silly videos of Lego mini-figures farting. Yes, farting. You are currently obsessed with farting Lego men. Even mentioning "Lego farts" in your presence sets you off in a fit of giggles. Clearly, you have turned into a 7 year old over night.

We took a mini-hiatus on Columbus weekend for a trip to visit Mia in Boston. We got stuck in traffic on the way there. It took us an hour to go 6 miles at one point, for a total of 7 hours in the car. It was my first time taking a trip like this by ourselves. I perfected the art of putting on your dvd player with one hand while driving and looking forward; memorizing the buttons on the blessed machine. We sang, did silly seat dances, ate snacks, and played I Spy. I asked you about 12 times to take a break and pull over and you insisted that we keep going. "We're almost, almost, almost there." Your voice raising octaves on each "almost". I am impressed at your ability to sit in the car happily for that long. Not many adults can do that besides three year olds.

Mia had a extravagant fall festivus with pumpkin soup and apple crisp. We attempted a corn maze at a local farm. It was my first time doing a corn maze and I was not sure what to expect. It was harder then I anticipated. I guess I thought we would always be able to see above the corn. You can't. I think we were in there for about a hour before cheating, cutting between the rows in the direction of the music and the smell of popcorn. At each fork, you and Brody (a fellow 3 year old) would stop to check your map and choose a direction. You wanted to pick up the corn off the ground to bring it home and eat it. Over the last 10 minutes you needed a piggy back. At that point, I think I could have used a piggy back. The funniest part is I guess another family actually called 911 because they got lost that weekend. I didn't think it was that bad.

We also made a trip into the city for a night with Hayley. We drove to Auntie B's and took the subway into the city. You were a classic country child, narrating everything the train was doing. "Look mom! People are getting on. Its stopping. We're going down. That man is reading his book. Hold on you might fall." I ask a MTA guy if I had to pay for you and he looked at me like I had 12 heads. I guess I was a classic suburban mom. At one point another boy sat down next to you and was baffled that you were so excited about doing something as mundane as riding the subway. I left your stroller at home and make you walk. Such a champ. I think we ended up walking a good 3 avenues and 10 blocks. The city is just so interesting. The trucks, the crazy people, the buildings, and OH MY JESUS the Biggest Toys R Us you had ever seen. We rode the ferris wheel and spent way too much money on Legos. I told you you couldn't get anything and walked out with $80 less. However, the Legos provided a needed distraction at dinner to allow me to drink some wine and chat. Bonus. We took a cab back to Auntie B's and you were fascinated with the touch screen TV in the back. Its always the little things that hold your interest the longest.

You got sick this month. Classic change of seasons, back to school nonsense. Because you are not feeling well you have been extra cuddly. You told me I had to sit with you and help you eat your breakfast on the couch because we are "bestest buddies." Really, how can I possibly say no to that? Then when you had a bad fever and I asked you to take a sip of water and you responded with "It's OK mom. I'm a fireman." I am not quite sure what being a fireman has to do with drinking water but its still 100% cute. Then when I had finished reading you books and as you were falling asleep you say "Mom, you're the greatest." Can I have a collective 'awww'? Its a phrase that I usually reserve for you. Because you are the greatest. And we are best buddies. And I think we make a pretty good team.

I love you everyday,
Momma

Don't let the Sparkle Blind You

2011-09-24T21:36:00.004-04:00

Vacation Bliss

2011-09-21T21:20:00.003-04:00

So....vacation. It was 4 weeks ago and feels like a lifetime away. It was the most relaxed and carefree I have been in a long time. But of course as soon as I found myself back within 10 miles of home, all holy hell broke loose and it is back to the daily grind. Perhaps more stress then I left with actually. But I guess thats always the way.

OhMyGawd you guys. Our house was f-ing amazing. I want to live in this house for the rest of my life. The balconies. The ocean breeze. The hardwood floors and hot tub. The first night Wyatt and I got to enjoy an ocean view room (Just cause not everyone was there yet. Evidently, ocean view rooms where saved for the "adults", whatever that means.) It was blissful. Sounds of the ocean lulling us to sleep. The cool beach breeze blowing the curtains. The sunrise over the water. Totally an indication on how the rest of the week would pan out.

Wyatt was in his element. He would wander to the beach after his daily pancake breakfast. "Mom, I'm hungry. I want pancakes." was the daily request. When he was done with the beach he would move to the house. Then the hot tub which we lowered to a balmy 80 degrees. Then to one of the upper decks for some puzzles. He was so content to wander around from person to person. Wyatt and cousin William were amazing. They got along so well. They got on the top bunk of the bunk beds with Mike and were playing delivery trucks. Seeing Michael trying to keep up with 2 truck loving boys was hilarious. I have to admit I think Wyatt's most favorite day was at the hotel during the black out. He ran up and down the hallways with a flash light for HOURS. Ohh right. And there was that time in the lobby while we were playing scrabble that he asked "Did you spell Vagina? You spelled vagina, right?" in his loudest voice possible. Yes! That was memorable! I actually spelled Vampire, which I thought would be equally impressive. Evidently not as impressive as a 3 year old yelling vagina in a generator powered lobby filled with hurricane displaced people.

Lizzy tried to wake board. It was a huge failure. I have a thousand pictures of her laying in the sand. Most of the family watched and heckled. Because, seriously you guys, it looks like it should be so easy. In all fairness, I tried as well and I believe there might be a shot video of me EATING IT and then letting the wake board float out into sea. I think James was the only person that really got it. Trust me guys. It is WAY harding then it looks.

There was an EPIC game of drunken Jenga. Honestly, it was an impressive game regardless of the drinks consumed which I think makes it more impressive that the game lasted so long. I took a ton of pictures and most of them are hysterical for the faces of the people in the background. Take this one of Tim for instant. Brilliant. I think the best block was STFU which had everyone screaming "Shut the Fuck Up" at everyone else. Or maybe the accent block which had Michael imitating an Indian/English accent and mumbling about elephants. But I think them most memorable game moment was on our last night playing Catch Phrase. Tim was trying to get Dad to say Guerilla Warfare. Tim goes "Very sneaky fighting through the jungle. A huge monkey with a banana." Dad just sat there for 5 minutes looking blankly. We were trying to finish all the beer before we left, but still, thats no excuse.

This requires a little back story. About 3 months ago, Wyatt, Mom and I were in OshKosh and I just went up to pay when Wyatt ran up to me with these "sparkle shoes". They looked like Chucks but are silver and sparkly with pink stretchy laces. I didn't really care that he wanted the sparkle shoes. I would have bought them for him. But I'm cheap and they were $32. I don't think I would even spend that much on shoes for myself. He threw a fit. I had to carry him out of the store crying. I thought he would forget about it by the time we got home. He didn't. Because he has an amazing memory. Every time a package arrived at the door he asked if they were his sparkle shoes. While in NC, he tried to get into a locked closet, insisting that his sparkle shoes where in there. I tried to appease him with different sparkle shoes from Sears. He was not impressed and not fooled. "Those are not MY sparkle shoes." In a crazy turn of fate, while shopping, I found Wyatt's Sparkle Shoes on sale for $15 in NC. I was going to wait for Santa to bring them but I couldn't stand it. I gave them to him the moment I walked in the door. With the whole family there to witness the joy on his face and then a little annoyance when I couldn't get them on his feet fast enough. It was LOVE. He loves these shoes. He insisted on wearing them on the first day of school. Wyatt, my love, you ROCK those shoes.

43 Months

2011-09-12T21:02:00.001-04:00

Hey You,

You started school again on Monday. You were beyond excited. I hope and pray that this lasts well into your high school years. You have been coming to work with me for a few weeks. First, I have to mention that you are amazing. You sit, you play, you watch YouTube while I make phone calls, you help me move furniture, you are polite and kind to every person that comes into the church. It has gone far better then I ever expected. So, I told you that I was going to miss my special helper at work and maybe you shouldn't go to school. You go "Mom! I have to go to school but I can be your helper after."

We went to the children's museum one rainy day and I would have to consider it one of the best days of my life. No joke, kid. No joke. It was just you and I with a packed lunch and we spent about 5 hours there. They added this new outdoor water exhibit that you loved. I vowed to devote all my attention to you and left my crackberry in the car. And you are amazing. (Geez, I am getting annoyed reading this. I need a stronger adjective then amazing.) At one point this little kid stole the wheel barrow you had been using. You waited patiently to get it and then 5 minutes later it was gone. I braced myself for a throw down. You watched the kid wheel away, slowly turned and said "Its ok. I'll use this." and picked up a shovel. Eh, Hello, the most polite 3 year old in the world. We rode on the carosel and I grabbed brass rings for you to hold. You thought it was the most intrigute invention. We went back to the museum and played some more. You even left the gift shop without getting anything and without complaining. For the week following you asked everyday if we could go back. We finally did and you loved it all over again.

We also took that huge family trip to NC. (Trust me, a whole 2,000 words in itself.) You were kind of confused about the "renting a house" business. "This is our new house!" you'd proclaim. "Well, not really, babe. We are just borrowing it from someone for a week" Then you would run to Pa and tell him he needed to drive more limos to make more money so we could BUY THIS HOUSE. Its the BEST HOUSE EVER! You cried when I told you we had to leave. Then said when you get home you are selling your toys. I wish I could buy that house for you. I don't think it was the house that you loved so much. Although, yes, the house was incredible. I think it was more about having all of us, under one roof, for an entire week. You bounced around between us. Playing with Gammy and Pa on the beach, going in the water with me, trucks and cars with William and Auntie B, hot tub with Lizzy. Non-stop entertainment. Hell, I want to live there full time. I was crying too when we left.

I have been a little distacted lately. I completely forgot about your school orientation until my car got surrounded by teachers asking where you were as I pulled up to the church. I had a bad mother moment and forgot to buckle you in your car set. You reminded me. Because you follow the rules. And probably because once I told you that the car wouldn't start until you were buckled and you remember everything. I zone out while we are playing until you jump in my lap and get me to focus. My patience has been running on bare minimum. You walked into the bathroom while I was crying. It was aweful. I don't think you have ever seen me cry. You asked what was wrong. I told you that someone hurt my feelings. "Do you need a hug?" you responded. And you hugged me on the bathroom floor for 5 minutes. I am sorry Wyatt. I am sorry that you felt like you needed to comfort me. I never want you to feel responsible for my well-being. I am overwhelmed. With everything. I am sorry and I promise I will get better. School is starting. Its a new start. Let's make a fresh start.

I love you, always, forever and everyday.
Mom

Splish Splash

2011-08-30T09:39:00.000-04:00

The family rented a house in NC for the week. After getting orders to evacuate for Hurricane Irene in NY, we decided to start driving. We drove through the storm. Stopped in Richmond, VA. Lost power in our hotel and arrived in sunny NC the next day as Irene pounded NY. The house is awesome. Our fence got knocked down in NY. It seems like the Northeast got it way worse then North Carolina did. Be back soon. Tons of pictures to follow. Hope everyone is safe and dry.

42 Months

2011-08-11T12:05:00.001-04:00

Hey You,

Your fire truck picture.

That's what you say to me all the time. "Hey you. Hey you, can I have a glass of water? Hey you, can we go ride bikes with the kids? Hey you, look at my garbage truck that dumped his garbage all over the road. Smash! And then the police are coming to give him a ticket for 40 dollars. Here comes the dump truck to help clean it up. That's a good idea?" I think it is easier for you to say the generalized Hey You and have it apply to every person in the house rather then fill your brain with trivial name calling details. You have too many other things going on to remember everyone's names and apply them accordingly. There are endless combinations of Legos and trucks to play with. Duh.

I am not quite sure how this happened but for the past few months you have been obsessed with "the olden days". I am pretty sure it had something to do with Gammy. You are constantly asking "Did they have TV's in the olden days? They had to use leaves for toilet paper in the olden days, did you know that? Look, There's an olden day car!" You are a million and one questions. So, finally, Gammy and I decided to bring you to this Restoration Village. We used to take class field trips there when I was a kid. I remember it being really cool. You could watch the blacksmith make chain links, buy penny candy at the general store, take in a lesson at the one room school house. Maybe we went on an off day, maybe they have cut a lot of funding, maybe I only remembered the best parts. Anyway, it was kind of boring. It was pretty much lots of old houses that Gammy and I had to make up stories about to keep you interested. I think your favorite part was the out-house. You can just not possibly fathom people doing pee-pees in a hole in the ground. Needless to say, you only really ask about the olden days now when it pertains to toilets.

Two things happened at a party at Drew's brothers house. I am not sure which is of more importance. Drew has 2 nephews and a niece so I knew you were going to have a blast. You usually play with PJ, the 2 year-old, but this time you gravitated more towards Katie, the 5 year old. You and her were inseparable. Katie went to find a toy in her room and you followed. I stayed outside enjoying the company. About 5 minutes past, 10 tops, and you still hadn't returned. When I went inside, I found Katie's bedroom door closed. Hum. On opening the door, I found Katie on the bed and you standing on the floor, both of you with NO pants on (underwear on, Thank God!). "What are you doing?" I asked. "Playing doctor." You answered, quite matter of factly. "Ok, pants and shoes on. Lets go outside." I am positive that it was innocent but isn't 3 and 5 a little early for Dr. games?!? I watched you a little more closely for the rest of the evening. Drew found it amusing (Thank God!). And I found it even more amusing when Drew found your hat on Katie's bed post. You are learning fast, my son. The second thing, was you took your first solo ride on a dirt bike. Drew's brother has this little one the he messed with so it only goes 4mph plus its actually has training wheels on it. I'm less concerned that you rode one. You loved it; Drew never let go, you wore a helmet, and only on the grass. Its more about it is it the gateway drug of you getting on bigger and faster things. They also had this Power Wheels Motorcycle thing that you LOVED. You rode that bike for hours (some of the time with Katie on the back.) I just wish we had a garage to put it in!

You also had your first official sleep over at Dad's. I don't really have much to say about this, other then it happened and I had a panic attack. It went well. You stayed there the entire night which I was not sure that was going to happen since you still wake up and call for me about once a night. When you got home you ran into my arms and gave me a "ginormous" hug. You are just growing up so fast. How you got to be this little boy is beyond all comprehension.

I love you everyday,
Mom-Mom

And then This Happened

2011-08-06T11:02:00.000-04:00

Welcome to the newest member of 105. Fresh from North Shore Animal League, a charming little beast of a dog named Cash. As in: Johnny Cash. As in: finally a dog with a real name.

Likes are: ripping up anything within a 10 mile radius, taking large dumps, and dragging Pup around by his tail.

Dislikes: taking his food away in fear that his stomach might explode (he is RAVENOUS), being locked in his crate, and being scolding for peeing on the carpet for the 12th time.

I am sure you will make life more eventful!

Hazy, Hot, Humid

2011-07-23T11:12:00.000-04:00

Uncharted Territory

2011-07-19T21:53:00.001-04:00

So, I think it is about time to introduce a new character to the blog. I have been hesitant to write anything about Drew because it seems as soon as I write about someone I am dating, we end up broken up. Its the blog curse, I guess. But I have a gut feeling that this one might be around for a while. And I think I have put his name out there a few times already....so here goes.

I guess we have, what you'd call, a hot and heavy relationship. We have only been dating for 6 months and it moved into serious material sooner then I would have hoped. But it just kind of happened. We just clicked. And I just kinda let it. He is a good man with kind heart and I find it easy to trust him. So, when Drew proposed to meet Wyatt and I at a diner about a month into our relationship, I said yes. He knew about Wyatt before I met him (it was a set up via mutual friends) which made it SO MUCH EASIER to navigate the "I have a son" scenario. It just felt right. We went. I was nervous. This was the first man that I dated that I introduced Wyatt to. Of course, Wyatt took to Drew right from the beginning. Then without knowing much about Wyatt, Drew asks if he would like to see some fire trucks. Drew is a volunteer fireman. Wyatt's eyes lit up like Drew had just produced Christmas morning in a dirty diner booth. I was so impressed how patient Drew was, how thoughtful, and at ease he seemed with the entire situation. Then a few days later, Drew asked if we would like to visit him at work so Wyatt could see all the trucks (he works for the town). We spent about 3 hours there; visiting every truck on site. Wyatt rode on diggers, worked a dump truck, helped drive a pay-loader. Kid talked about it for DAYS.

Then, I freaked out. Cause that's what I do. And proceeded to Google child molesters and convicted felons. Because Wyatt is my son. And even though I had NO VIABLE reason for assuming anything. Hell, we met through mutual friends that know both of us very well. I would never be able to forgive myself if something happened to him on my watch. Especially something preventable.

And then I calmed down a bit. Mostly because Wyatt just adores him. But as our relationship progresses, it brings more issues to light. I have brought this man into Wyatt's life. Wyatt doesn't know that there is a possibility that he might leave. That maybe he should be a little guarded. Wyatt is in this with his whole self. He talks about Drew. He makes Drew pictures at school. He brings in Drew's dirt bike magazines for show-n-tell. If you ask Wyatt what he wants to do when he grows up he says "I want to be a dump truck man and a fire truck man like Drew." He loves this man with his whole heart. Is it foolish of me to let them get close? Am I setting him up for disappointment? Do I want this to last because they are close, because they get along so well?

I love Drew. We have a great time together. He keeps me focused when my life feels blurry around the edges. When I spoke about him to my friends, my best analogy was I felt like I have been holding my breath for a long time and when I met Drew I finally exhaled. He's not perfect but neither am I. But having Wyatt makes dating more complicated. It is not just about if I love Drew. Its also about if he's a good influence for Wyatt (which I think he is). If Wyatt feels safe with Drew. If Drew understands the parenting lines, which often get blurred when there are a lot of adults around. Its about Drew accepting that I will always put Wyatt first. That my future is based on Wyatt's needs and not my own wants. Its about Wyatt and I as a package deal.

We are both very blessed to have Drew in our lives. And I am everyday grateful to have Wyatt and Drew get along as well as they do. To have someone love me and my son. Most of all, I am excited to have someone change the oil in my car. I hate to be pessimistic and generally I try not to start a relationship predicting how it will end. I hope it won't end but at 6 months in I think it is ok to not be 100% sure. Sometimes I feel like I need to be 100% sure for Wyatt. Because Wyatt is %110 sure. I'm at a lost for how this works. Completely uncharted territory.

July Gloriousness

2011-07-16T08:37:00.000-04:00

41 Months

2011-07-12T16:19:00.002-04:00

My Wyatt,

This summer is passing in a blur of hot and hazy play-dates. Michael and Gianna from next door knock almost every morning at 10am to see if you are ready to play. Most of the time, I let them in and the day begins. Sometimes I sequester you to the backyard, others give you the full run of the house. (Really it depends on how much I feel like cleaning.) You share all your toys so well and you have never been over their house so they never have to share theirs. Every once and a while you have a meltdown over something new but they are over EVERYDAY so I think your doing pretty well. You really enjoy having playmates. Sometimes when I finally make them go home you start crying. You have asked me several times to have a sleep over with Gianna. Personally, I'm not against it. Just am not positive how to orchestrate it. Does she sleep in your bed? On the floor? Do we pitch a tent in the living room and call it camping? Do I have to chaperone all night? What's the protocol for a 3 and 4 year old sleep over?

The other night Gianna was over for dinner. (Not entirely unusual. I'm sure she would eat here every night if I let her.) Gammy had grilled some shrimp. I asked Gianna if she had shrimp before (yes) and let her go to town. About 10 minutes later she says she's itchy. Of course, classic tale of neighbors kid lies and eats something new, has an allergic reaction. I walked her back to her house and her mom swears to me its fine and she has definitely had shrimp before. I was mortified. I guess I should have called over there first. I felt a little better when she thanked me for telling her but didn't thank me for feeding her kid dinner. They will buy you ice pops every once and a while so I guess it evens out. (By the way, she was back over the house the next day at 9am. Maybe it was just mosquito bites)

You attended a short, 2 week, summer camp at a local church. I was mildly nervous because: 1, you had never been there before, 2, you were the only new kid in a group of 20, and 3, you didn't know anyone. On the first day we arrived early so you could scope out the huge gym with tricycles. Camp started at 9:30 and I was out the door by 9:35. It was incredible. You are just so confident and enthusiastic. And you LOVED this camp. The staff adored you and told me so all of the 10 days you were there. I really liked their program. I loved that there was a playground and a gym in case of bad weather. St. Johns only has the playground. I got me thinking that I should move you. But if I did, I would shave 5 hours off my work week with the commute and late start time alone. Then, I feel so guilty putting my needs in front of your own. You love St. Johns but you loved St. Gerts too. And the friends you make at St. Gerts would most likely be the kids you start kindergarden with. I think maybe in the 4's program, I'll switch you over. I sometimes wish you could just tell me what you wanted.

I had the great pleasure of attending Mia's wedding this month. As luck would have it, it was a Christmas in July wedding and the Big Man paid a visit. I am not one to ever miss out on a teaching moment. When I got home I mentioned this to you which at first you didn't believe. I showed you a picture. I told you that I told Santa what an amazing boy you are. But Santa was a little upset that you still used a binky. Santa said maybe he could only bring you baby toys since you still used a baby binky. You haven't touched your binky since. When you asked for it last night, I told you I didn't know where it was. You didn't ask again. I am not proud of lying to you. But hell, if it stops you from using that damn binky, it will be my most ingenious parenting idea yet. And trust me, I am sure you will do the same with your kids. (Mia - thank you so much for this amazing opportunity to bribe my child with a mid-year visit from Santa. I owe you one!)

I know that I have a tendency to be a somewhat lax parent that is desperately trying to pull in the reigns. I'll make you something different for dinner if you ask. I'll buy you that matchbox if it gets you through the grocery store. I still get you dressed and sit with you in the bathroom reading you books while you poop. You rarely get time outs because you rarely misbehave and I like to pick my battles. I think that you are finally understanding that you have it pretty sweet. When we were grocery shopping, you asked me if you could open the bag of pretzels to eat in the store. Of course, open them up. Your whole face lit up, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!!" Honestly like I just gave you $100. Sometimes if I am sitting on the floor, you will jump in my lap and give me a hug. Or come up with elaborate adventures for us to go on asking "That's a good idea?" You say I'm beautiful when I am trying on dresses at the store. You ask to hold my hand while you are falling asleep. I know we have our fighting moments. Times when you're not so sweet and I might consider offering you in the free Craigslist section. But for the most part; after you're asleep and I reflect on the day, I remember the happy moments. And most of the time, I come to the conclusion that I am genuinely over-the-moon happy. I hope you are too.

I love you everyday,
Mom

Balls....

2011-07-09T12:36:00.000-04:00

Cousin William turned 2 at the end of June.

There was a huge party. Much fun was had. Much drinking was done.

Why, oh, why do our kids have to grow up? I am wishing for a few more baby years. And maybe a pool. And perhaps palm trees and pina coladas. Girl can dream, right?

My Water Rat

2011-07-02T16:15:00.000-04:00

OMG Cupcakes (aka Finally a New Camera!)

2011-06-25T21:14:00.000-04:00

Happy Fathers Day!

2011-06-19T09:54:00.002-04:00

40 Months

2011-06-12T21:29:00.003-04:00

Bud,

I still keep on calling you my baby. "He's coming to see the baby." "How's the baby?" "I have to take the baby to the doctor." Its a habit that I just can't seem to give up. You are absolutely not a baby anymore. You are riding your bike, correcting me "Actually, Momma...", having and identifying complex emotions, showing empathy for others, having huge daily adgendas, reading books to me, giving me directions while I am driving. It is just incredible. You are definitely NOT a baby. In some respect, I am sure you will always be my baby. You have begun correcting me. "Mom, I am not a baby! I'm a big boy!" And you are already so much smarter then me. Its terrifing. You out-logic me. How am I going to survive through your teenage years?

Jen has made a big move down to Long Beach. I was sad to see her move father away from us but it has turned out really awesome. We make day trips down to "Jen's beach" and you are in love with the ocean there. You are so not afraid of the sand. Its weird. You slid down the lifeguard stand on your butt, rolled down the sand hill, at the end of the day you have sand in place I have only imagined. You are so content to run around, playing with your trucks, setting up your chair and having cocktail hour with us. (For the record, I did not teach you about cocktail hour. That was a Nana and Grandpa 2's revelation while we were in FL. But you have remembered it. You take your juice box put it in the cup holder and chat. Clearly, imitating Nana. Its hysterical if not a little terrifing. All the other moms think I am an alcoholic.) You make friends and dig for sand crabs. I have such fond memories of Jones Beach trips as a child and now you will have yours. You love walking in the water, holding my hand of course. You are still a little timid of the big waves. But I would rather have you be a little timid then run into the undertow. After about 5 hours at the beach, we head to Jen's apartment, shower, change then go out to dinner. We hit up this BBQ place with extra spicy peanuts. I told you that you probably wouldn't like them but sure enough you LOVED them. Ate like it was going out of style. I could barely eat two without having a sip of water. I couldn't open them fast enough for you. My adventurous eater. The one that lives off of baked clams.

We've gone to a few more Met games. You were so excited for them that I got you a hat so you could match Pa. You told Auntie B that the actual game is "kinda boring." But you absolutely love walking up and down the stadium stairs to get various things to eat. Hot dogs, french fries, popcorn, peanuts, cotton candy. As soon as we sit down, you think of something else that you would like to eat. Of course, I usually wouldn't indulge you that much but you actually eat all of it. You also get a real kick over doing the wave and all the cheers. You have got "Let's go Mets" down. Over all, I think you and I have a similar interest in baseball. All of the social eating none of the baseball.

A tidbit of our life:
"Bud, so, I'm going to take you to this special ice cream place. When you were in my tummy I used to get ice cream here all the time"
"What did you get?"
"Peanut butter ice cream with chocolate chips."
"And did I come out of your mouth to eat it?"

"I get so mad!"
"Get so mad about what, Wy?"
"That Momma has to pick up garbage at the beach."
"Yeah, its is important to pick up any garbage that you see and throw it out. Litter isn't good."
"We have to take care of Mother Errffh."

You finished your first year of pre-school this month. I really don't even think I prepared you for it. I was definitely not prepared for it. I think it snuck up on both of us. Literally. I remembered teacher gifts 2 hours before I was picking you up on the last day. You were very concerned about not seeing your friends for a while which I assured you would not happen. As I picked you up and you were hugging your teachers goodbye, I got teary eyed. I got out of there as quickly as I could because I knew I was going to loose it. I don't know how an entire year has past so quickly. How you have grown from a somewhat timid boy to one that bounds into the classroom with an unscheduled show-n-tell. You and Chase make independent plans during school and let us know our game plan during pick up. I know that a 2 year-old program is kind of unnecessary. But to say that you Thrived is an understatement. You have grown so much. Have learned so much. Have made friends so well. And I will never, ever get tired of hearing your teachers tell me how wonderful you are because it echos what I see everyday.

I love you everyday,
Momma

Slip Slidin'

2011-05-28T12:29:00.000-04:00

Wyatt hates the slide. Its just a thing. He will go down little ones but runs to the top of large slides and then goes back down the way he came. There is no cajoling, no bribing, no riding down together. Kid just won't do it. So, I stopped trying. Figured it was a phase and he'll slide when he's ready. Then we were at the park (we go almost every other day), he went down on his belly. No Big Deal. Just did it. He still will only go on his belly. But its a start, right?

Side note: I was so excited I almost peed myself. Literally, I was running, jumping around taking pictures, cheering. I don't think I could have been happier if he solved world hunger. That's my boy. On the big slide.

Time-Out

2011-05-24T19:31:00.000-04:00

Wyatt and I have been having some problems. I have mentioned this before. About his refusal to listen. His sometimes dreadful sharing skills. His willingness to push my last button. His talking back. And of course his repeated use of that God Awful word: no. In response, I have added the time-out chair. Which worked for about 2 minutes. He simply doesn't care. It's not incentive enough for him to quit his bad behaviour. He will give himself time-outs when he is being extra crabby. On my next attempt, I decided to take away toys. I would give him 2 warnings and on the 3 he gets something taken away and put on the top of the fridge. He can get them back if he has an extra good day. I still do that sometimes but it is only really effective when I can take something away immediately. It doesn't work if we are out. By the time we make it home, he is usually better behaved and has forgotten all about the incident.

Then we hit an impasse. Drew, Wyatt and I were out to dinner. For whatever reason, Wyatt was not having it. He is always amazing so I guess he is allowed a bad day occasionally. He asked to go to the bathroom about 3 times simply because he was bored. Then he was running up and down the handicap ramp. He refused to listen when our food came out. Didn't eat one bite. I tried all my tricks. Nothing worked. Finally, I asked him to sit down or we were going to leave. He smirked at me and started walking backwards. I looked at Drew, told him I was sorry but I had to grab Wyatt and run. That Wyatt was testing me and I needed to act. Could he please grab the check and meet us in the car? As soon as I reached Wyatt he started screaming. He was upset, I was upset. As I was struggling to put him in his car seat and my face was inches from his, he reared back and slapped me. Right. Across. My. Face. I lost it. It was the last straw. Hitting is absolutely unacceptable. Where did he even learn something like that? I was screaming. Wyatt was hysterical. By the time Drew got into the car, no one was talking. I couldn't even breathe, I was so upset.

After calling Jen, Kari, and chatting with Mom, I came up with another plan. Obviously the time-out chair did not work, neither was taking away toys. What about trying something I haven't done? Why not reward positive behaviour instead of punishing bad? (Totally Jen's idea. Give credit where credit's due. She doesn't even have kids yet...brilliant) Of course, Wyatt will always respond better to the things he is doing right. So, I came up with this system. If he has a good day (see: sharing well, listening to his momma, cleaning up, etc) he gets a gold star for the day. When he reaches 10 gold stars he gets a gift or an adventure, pretty much whatever he chooses. Its his day. Gammy bought this school bus chart and I put it by his bed. Every night we go over why it was a gold star day or why it wasn't. If he starts acting up all I have to say is "I'm not sure its going to be a gold star day, or, that's not really gold star behavior." And he usually stops.

This has been for about 3 months now. I am not terribly consistant, which is a problem. There are nights when we get home late or he's really tired that we don't put stars on. But for the first month, it was religion. And his behaviour changed. He has been amazing. There was one day that he was really upset and he turned to me with hand raised ready to hit me. I grabed his wrist, got down on my knees, and said "Think about what you are doing right now. Are you sure you want to do that?" And he stopped. That was the last time he tried to hit me.

For his first 10 stars, he asked to go to Toys R Us. He tried riding every training wheeled bike in the store. I was convinced that he was going to ask for another bike. I said he had $50. He ended up picking out this tow truck for $20. That's what he wanted. His second 10 stars, we went to Chuck E Cheese. Mom told him that when he gets to 100 stars, we'll go to LegoLand. At the rate he is going we will be there by Christmas.

Holy Hiatus, Batman!

2011-05-18T19:00:00.001-04:00

Hello. Anyone out there. Have I lost all interest since I have taken a big ole' sabbatical. I really wish I could say it was for some really good, fabulous reason. But it's really not. I've just gotten lazy.

Anyway, first topic of business:

Saturday pictures are going to be postponed for a while. Because I went and got my camera (well, Rebecca's really but I was using it...see: worst sister EVER) Stolen. Yes, thats right. The beautiful digital SLR that I love and cherish has been stolen. So, I am stuck with a little point and shoot that is not much fun to use or my camera on my blackberry that takes pretty awful pictures. I really haven't been taking that many pictures as a result of this disaster.

When we were coming home from Colorado I was faced with a dilemma. I had a decent sized pack that I was carrying (with my laptop, toys, books, snacks, markers, essentials) plus our coats and Wyatt and his small backpack with cars to look after while navigating 2 airports. I really wanted to add my camera to that list but with its extra weight and size I thought it would break the camels back and surely I would lose something; probably Wyatt, as I was juggling all our things. I sat in our room, packing, staring at my laptop in one hand and the camera in my other. I decided to keep the laptop with us and stow the camera in our checked bag. I put it into the case, wrapped it in Wyatt's winter jacket, tied the sleeves around the case and buried it in the middle of our suitcase. I also threw my point in shoot camera in the bag as well.

We get to the airport, check our bag, get on our flight. Our bag goes to Newark. We go to JFK. Great. By the time we land in NY, we have been traveling for 8+ hours. Its 11pm. Wyatt has reached his toddler patience level after being AMAZING on the flights. I am ready to be home and fed...cause, did I mention, we almost missed our connection because we were late landing. And missed getting lunch and US Airways evidently doesn't sell dinner. Great. I didn't even really care that our bag didn't show up. I was just happy to be in the home stretch with a potential Diner in our future. When I go to report our missing bag there are about 15 people on line. There was NO WAY it was going to be ok. So, we left. I decided I would deal with the bag tomorrow.

I had to pick the bag up at JFK 2 days later. Since I didn't file a claim immediately they couldn't send it to me. Wyatt was ok with the extra trip cause we made a pit stop at Auntie B's. When I got my bag with the little lock still in place, I just grabbed it and left. It wasn't until I got home that I realized the SLR camera was missing. Everything else in tact. Everything else accounted for. I was livid. I AM Livid. When a lady from US Airways baggage told me that she was sorry for my lost items, I lost it. I was screaming 'You stole my camera. It wasn't lost. It was stolen!' Clearly, they have not owned up to the incident. But believe me. I will get them to give me something. Damn it. I paid $25 in baggage fees for them to steal my camera.

When I told Bec, I asked if she wanted the good news or bad news. The bad news: I lost her camera. The good news: it gives me a damn good excuse to buy a new fancy one with my tax return!

38/39 Months

2011-05-01T19:15:00.002-04:00

Bud,

I think Colorado is a pretty good reason for combining two months of letters. Although, I'll admit I am feeling rather guilty about it. I have been so diligent and things have seemed to fall a little apart lately. This whole no nap thing is working out really well. However, by the time I get you to bed at 8, I usually just want to sit, watch TV, and be lazy. And funny enough, it is hard to remember all that we have done in two months. My memory is going. I am seeing the genius of post-it notes all over again.

In addition to the Colorado adventure, we spent several other days running around the city on other photo shoots. First was a Toys R Us packaging shoot in Jersey. You had to sit and play with this little fire truck. Easy Cheesy. They took about 22 pictures and the photographer said 8 were tagged as good. I was impressed. But hell, I'm always impressed with you. Then we trekked into the city to play on playgrounds and have dinner with Auntie B. The second shoot was for this fancy Italian clothing company called Il Gufo. That one went less then fabulous. We had an 8am call in the city but they weren't really ready for you until 11. It was a lot of waiting around. Although you did have a great time hanging out on the street with some of the other kids. Sharing all your trucks very nicely. They opened the garage doors to the studio that led out to a cobblestone street in the meatpacking district. You played tag, lost a library book, and had some snacks. Then promptly fell asleep on Drew's lap when they were ready for you. I think they got one or two good pictures with A LOT of toy bribing. We left and went directly to Toys R Us for your just reward. I think we might take a break with the clothing shoots for a while now. You really could care less about changing clothes 12 times and taking pictures.

Can you see the film crew?

We finally got around to having your 3-year-old well visit. I kept on making appointments and you would be sick. And (who knew) you can't combine well visits and sick visits. You are 35lbs and 3'4" tall. Still clocking in the 95th percentile for height. 75th for weight. I had been worried about your eating habits which are picky, at best. I can't remember the last time you willingly ate a vegetable. You are living off of cream cheese and baked clams lately (not together, Thank God.). I'll give you breadsticks with cream cheese and find you digging your finger in the cream cheese like its frosting. But it seems like you are doing just fine. What I am really worried about is that damn binky. I have been trying to get you to loose it for months now. When you made your room switch, I laid off for a while. (Which is still going FABULOUSLY!!!) My new rule is your binky belongs in your bed. But then sometimes you'll get mad and storm off upstairs and get it. I'll find you playing contently, on the floor of your room, with the damn binky. I even tried the binky fairy. But you told me that she is not going to take your binky's away because thats not nice because their yours. Clearly. I know you will stop eventually and I have to be patient but a 3 year old with a binky habit is just not ok with me.

I had a huge scare with you the other day. I was on our street chatting with another mom while you ran around with all the kids. Typically nice weather behavior. You have run up and down without my assistance a million times. The kids range from 2 to 10 years old and kind of take care of each other. Anyway, I watched you walk down the side street with Gianna and turn out of my sightline. I assumed that you were headed into their backyard. 5 minutes later, Gianna returns. Without You. "Where's Wyatt?" I asked. Gianna shrugged. I start running down the street with Liam, 5, and Athena, 7, calling your name. We head down the side street all the way to its end at the beach. No you. Visions of you running on the road, floating on the water are rushing through my head. Athena went one way, Liam and I the other. We found you around the corner, playing in the sand. "I wanted to go to the beach." you told me as I reprimanded you for leaving without me. I was hyperventilating and dragging you back home. Once I sat down and assessed the situation, I realized I had probably never told you Not to go down the beach by yourself. I have always been by your side. You are becoming more independent, which is good. But it has happened again, which is not. I found you on the front porch. "Getting something." Mini-Houdini. I am considering investing in a leash.

Dad and I took you to the park to try out your new bike. Sadly, I think you might have inherited my abysmal coordination skills. You really love riding but can't seem to steer and pedal at the same time. Either you are focused on steering and your feet don't move or your feet are going a mile a minute and the bike is in a bush. You will get it with more practice. You also have a tendency to jump off the bike while it is moving claiming that it has "run out of gas" and you need to fill it up. No matter how many times I have tried to explain that YOU are the GAS, you are convinced that your big two wheeler (plus training wheels) needs gas. I really want you to get it because we have been riding in my bike a lot lately and I am not sure you are going to last much longer in that little seat. It will be tons of fun to ride together. Remember, Fancy Nancy, says 'Less then a mile, bike in style.'

We have been having some hard times lately, which might be another post all together. I think we are testing each other. You are seeing how definitive my boundaries lie and I am testing the limits of my patience. I just feel like we are on opposite sides of the spectrum. Going to the same place but taking two very different directions. You have seen a lot of the time-out chair. Sometimes you even give yourself time-outs. Despite our arguments, I try to remind you after every fight and at every night how much I love you. I try to hug you a little more, kiss you when you will let me. Be as attentive to you as I possibly can. Try to show you I love you in between bargaining to leave the store without a toy, or begging you to go to the bathroom, or creatively distracting while wrangling you into your clothes. We were in the car and out of the blue, utterly unprovoked, you said "I love you Momma." Maybe it is sinking in that no matter the rough times, I will always love you. That the love part is permeant and everything else is just a phase.

I love you everyday,

Your Momma

Fast Forward 20 Years

2011-04-23T13:25:00.000-04:00

Ah, Wilderness!

2011-04-18T14:09:00.000-04:00

Our fabulous adventure has come to an end and my God, it was an amazing opportunity. We had such a blast with a little mild drama mixed in, just a typical family vacation!

So, Dunton is very hard to get to. We flew into Denver then waited for a flight to Durango, which was delayed, then had a 2 hour drive to Dunton. We got in around 2 am with the 2 hour time difference. It was a little concerning when the driver turned onto a red dirt road and told us it was another 10 miles of switchback turns with no guardrails. However, when we woke up the next morning and had a look around, it was worth it. This place is gorgeous. Way up in the mountains with log cabins dotted around. The views are incredible and the food is to die for.

The first day of shooting were these fake saw horses that the kids got to sit on. All the boys wore boots and spurs, the girls in cowboy hats. Wyatt ran up with a carrot trying to feed this fake horse with a lampshade head. Considering he got about 5 hours of sleep the night before, he did great. But he most definitely had more fun running around with the kids then shooting pictures. The next day was robots. I told him to go fix the robot. He grabbed a tool out of the spare parts bucket and got to work. However, every time the photographer gave him direction he insisted that he was fixing the robot and refused to move from his spot. He is 3 going on 80. A little old man stuck in his ways. And he is just so stubborn. (Which is probably genetic. I am not sure who is more stubborn, Terry or I.) I was slightly embarrassed about his lack of cooperation but at the same time, I wasn't going to make him do something that he didn't want to. This is suppose to be fun, for myself and him, and I will always strive for that no matter who I am upsetting. So, I didn't force it which I think got the photographer (and company) a little upset with me.

The natural hot springs very relaxing despite some coaxing and hesitation. Wyatt just couldn't seem to get past the red water and stone siding. Plus the 106 degree heat. I thought it was really exotic. At the outdoor spring there was, what seemed to me, a run off/over flow stream. So, while I soaked in the hot spring, Wyatt played contented in the hot stream. We took a small hike to the frozen waterfall through the snow listening for wildlife. Our cabin was a little hike from the Saloon area. We hoofed it several times. The first time, Wyatt insisted on piggybacking and when we got to the cabin I literally thought I was going to die. I could barely catch my breath. It was only later that I found out we were at 9,000 ft and it does funny things to your body. And here I thought I was entirely out of shape.

A stock photo of our room. The coyote was right there.

While Wyatt was napping one day and I was reading in bed, I caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of my eye. A coyote came down from the hills crossed the small frozen trout pond and started digging right outside our french doors. I jumped up, took a ton of pictures, then ran around our cabin trying to find someone to tell. Of course, almost everyone was napping or with doors closed. The coyote stayed for about 30 minutes. When we got home Wyatt told the story over and over. Funny cause he was sleeping. A total indication that I talk way to much.

I have to admit, I was a little nervous. This was the first time I have done anything like this, to this extend, with Wyatt by myself. He has reached a somewhat challenging age. He is amazing 90% of the time. But there are times when he throws fits, or repeatedly tells me 'No', or refuses to listen, or it feels like I have said his name 12 times in the past 10 minutes. Its totally normal toddler behavior but my patience levels are less then stellar. 6 days, no breaks, 4 planes, long car rides, altitude sickness, new food, best behavior. Its a little intimidating. I wasn't sure if I was going to make it without a fight. Well, of course, we were going to Make it. I just thought that maybe with one of Wyatt's meltdowns, I might have my own. Just for good measure. Stamp my feet a little. But I didn't. He didn't. We didn't. We survived and had a great time. I am giving myself a well deserved pat on the back.

Don't Get Too Comfortable, Bud

2011-04-16T14:19:00.001-04:00

Hiatus

2011-04-10T12:21:00.000-04:00

Hi All,

So I have some quite exciting news and a completely viable reason for Wyatt's monthly letter being postponed. Wyatt, with his adorably cute face and personality, booked a photo shoot in....
.....wait for it....

COLORADO!!!!!!

I am struggling to pack at the moment with about a 24 hour notice and heading out for a flight at 5pm until the 16th. It is like a mini-vacation and I am totally stoked! We are staying at a little place called Dunton Hot Springs that looks incredible. Mountains, snow, campfires, bears....here we come!!!

Wish us luck! Lots of pictures and stories surely to come.

All my love,
Kate and Wyatt

Big Boy Bed

2011-04-04T16:27:00.008-04:00

Drum roll please..... Wyatt has been officially moved into his big boy bed in his big boy room for a solid two weeks already!! Most of you know that I have been trying to make this transition for a while but honestly didn't really know how to do it. My room (our room until recently) is on the first floor. Wyatt's new room (formerly Rebecca's room) is on the second floor. It is kind of weird having him on a different floor. He's so far away. What if I don't hear him and he sleep stumbles down the stairs? What if he keeps Mom and Dad up all night? What if the entire thing is a nightmare and just delays the process even further?

So, I didn't push it. We talked about him moving to the room upstairs. We picked out a comforter together and I got it for him for Christmas. We talked about painting the room. We bought curtains. I am painting these cute canvases for him that he picks out the colors for. I bought these adorable truck wall stickers that we decorated his room with. Then one night he grabbed his blanket and binky and headed upstairs to sleep in his "big boy room". I rolled with it, even though the room wasn't entirely ready. I wasn't entirely ready. He has been up there ever since. And has even had several nights, from 9pm to 8am completely by himself. No calling for me. No leaving his bed. Only the rustling of sheets as he rolls over.

There have been minor setbacks. Very, very minor. First, he does call for me. Usually around 3am. At which point, I am exhausted and usually end up falling back asleep in his bed. I don't really think this is a big deal because at least he is STAYING in his room. He does not wander around in the middle of the night. And when I don't fall asleep and go back downstairs, he's fine. Just needs to get tucked back in, a few kisses, and he's back sleeping. Second, he doesn't really nap anymore except if he's not feeling well or if he is really wiped out. On the few occasions that he does nap, he's asked to sleep in my bed. Again, not really a huge problem because I don't foresee him napping for much longer. Third, there has been lots of bed hopping. Sometimes I sleep in the third bedroom upstairs to be closer to Wy, most of the time I'm downstairs. When Rebecca comes home there are less beds. I am thinking about getting a futon in Wyatt's room just for some added bed space and maybe some added cool couch factor for his friends. God knows he loves showing off his new room.

It has been amazing. He has been amazing. I am shocked. I expected it to be so hard. After reading all these child sleep books, I expected to be sleeping on the floor for months while he got adjusted. I guess he was just ready. He loves it up there. He has so easily made the switch. I, however, am not doing as well. I wake up a lot wondering where I am or where Wyatt is. I have had a really hard time adjusting to sleeping by myself. I can't seem to get comfortable. And I definitely cannot sleep through the night. In fact, a lot of times, it takes all my will power not to run up the stairs and go cuddle with the boy. Ah, how the tables have turned!

Worker Man

2011-04-02T07:22:00.003-04:00

Compromising Positions

2011-03-26T08:18:00.002-04:00

Just a typical day at 105. Playing with toys, on the toilet, for hours. The best seat in the house.

Yes, this is what happens to my clean laundry. Dog has problems. For real.

Ham, Big Fat Ham.

2011-03-19T08:16:00.003-04:00

37 Months

2011-03-14T22:19:00.000-04:00

Bud,

That month FLEW by! I seriously don't know what happened. I'm all amped up on spring coming. Every spare second I have been trying to get us outside. You got this fabulous new scooter for your birthday from William, Em, and Chris. You are in love but not very skilled. It took us about 45 minutes to get to the bench, a usually 2 minute walk. But you insisted on bringing the scooter. You are not very confidant, refusing to but both feet on, and refusing to allow me to pull you. Maybe mastering the scooter will prepare you for bike riding. (OMG.....I am so excited!!!)

Your birthday party was a great success. However, the prolonged partying (you had your actual birthday, then a party at Dads, then at school, then a party at home 2 weeks later) got you thinking that everyday was your birthday. Every morning, for a few weeks, you would insist that today was your birthday. There was no talking you out of it. You started demanding a different cake each day. Meanwhile, planning on a fireman theme party for weeks, I had bought a tons of fire truck themed plates, decorations, etc, etc. So then you wanted a dump truck cake, then a cherry picker cake, then back to a fire truck cake, then a tow truck. It gave me anxiety. Finally, I convinced you that a fire truck cake was the best and you even helped place the gum drop lights. I was (Hell, I still am) seriously proud of this cake. (What you can't see is after being out of the fridge for a few hours, it started melting. Literally half of the cab fell off right before blowing out candles. Oi) You are already asking for a cherry picker party for next year. I think I might need a practice round for that cake.

I hate to say it but you have been exercising your terrible two's on me lately. I thought we were out of this phase but it turns out you are still testing your limits. I have to admit. I am a sucker. I am a sucker for your "big tears." And for your "please, please" in ascending octaves. And you have learned to capitalize on my inability to say no. I was so proud that we made it though the twos without having to drag you out of a store, kicking and screaming. Then, twice in the past month, I've had to haul you, over my shoulder, having a tantrum to the car. However, I'm not sure if it was because I was ACTUALLY saying no which I haven't done with regularity before or if you were having an Honest to God Tantrum. I'm just worried that if I can't get you to respect my "no" now what happens at 6 or 13. And, my love, honestly, we do not need another toy in this house. Enough is enough. We are drowning in toys.

You have these two great friends at school, Chase and Peter. You talk about them constantly. When we get home you ask if I can call Chase's mom to go play at his house. Or you will walk into the den with your coat and declare that you are going to Peter's house. It really is the cutest thing. The other day we got the 3 of you together (plus momma's), got pizza and went to the playground. You loved every minute. Running after your friends, exploring together, laughing and being silly. The best part is, I really like the other mom's. They're cool and really on my parenting level. I wasn't sure I was going to meet people like me at St. John's. And I am hoping that these are friends you might spend a lifetime with.

Wyatt, I absolutely adore you. Even when you're having a tantrum. Even when you are saying no repeatedly. Even when you are running in the opposite direction. Even when I am not feeling very patient and you are pushing my last button. You still manage to amaze me everyday. Still manage to take my breath away with your clever sayings. And beyond all expectation still manage to be the most wonderful and fulfilling part of my life.

I love you everyday,
Mom

The Hulk as Seen by Wyatt

2011-03-12T07:47:00.000-05:00

"Wyatt, what do you want to dress up as?"

"A construction man super hero"

And so it shall be, my son.

Birthday Cupcakes

2011-02-26T09:03:00.000-05:00

Pining for Summer

2011-02-19T16:27:00.000-05:00

Just Too Damn Smart

2011-02-12T07:01:00.002-05:00

In lieu of a picture this week, I would like to post a video that I took a while ago... like in September hence the limited clothing. It is such a great example of how grown up he is now. Of how he is a sponge for information. I will translate below, in case you don't speak toddler. Although he's pretty clear...

Wyatt: Garbage trucks....no! No! (He hates being taped sometimes)
Me: Can you try to say that again?
Wyatt: No doubt about it.
Me: No doubt about it.
Wyatt: (on the Fire Truck page) Someone needs me! Someone needs me! Get a helicopter. (the Car Transporter page) We can carry all your cars, red, blue, red, blue. (Moving Van) I'll carry all your furniture away. (Delivery Truck) I'm a delivery van. I deliver all your stuff and leave a box for you at home. (turning pages) I get cement made, cement made.
Gammy: Here's a little strawberry shortcake surprise! (God, I love Gammy and her mid-afternoon deserts!).
Wyatt: All trucks, trucks. That was silly. Strawberry Shortcake! (seeing the camera again...) No!

36 Months - 3 Years!!

2011-02-09T16:27:00.001-05:00

Goose,

This morning I asked what you wanted for breakfast and you say "Let's celebrate first." And so we celebrated with a game called whatever Wyatt says goes. Its your favorite game. But I kept on getting distracted by just staring at you wondering how you got to be this grown-up boy in front of me. It is totally beyond my comprehension that you are 3 years old. For some reason, when I was pregnant and had these elaborate daydreams about you, you were either a baby or about 7. I really never had interaction with children in those in-between ages. (Well, I guess Lizzy counts but I seem to have blocked those years from my memory.) So, I guess I haven't be able to envision what you would be like at 3 or 4 or 5. And here you are. An age which I really adore. Your intelligent, imaginative, and funny while still allowing me to have time with the incredibly loving baby you were. It feels like this breaking age between you being a baby and becoming a child. I think as I am preparing you for your growing childhood, you are also preparing me for your growing independence. It is a time that is the best of both worlds.

When you were sick this month (all month between the flu and double ear infections), all you wanted to do was lay on my lap and cuddle. You reverted to this child who needed me so badly. I was reminded all over again of your first few months on this earth and how far we have come. How much you have grown and how much you have learned. How independent you now are, that the small baby you once were is barely recognizable. Sometimes I feel like you have learned more in your three years then I have in the last 10. You have taken over my life so completely and I have so willingly given you control, something I have never done before. I had thought that by now, I would have wanted to regain some of my independence. But I find you so unequivocally interesting and amazing that I haven't really thought about it. My life revolves around you. I make no apologies for it. In fact, I am a more confident, grounded person because it revolves around you.

I got you your first big boy bike for your birthday. It took me about a hour at Toy R Us to find this bright yellow Schwin that reminded me of summer sunshine. I actually tried out a few of them until some lady caught me and made me feel ridiculous. Maybe in older years, you can pick your own bike out but I wanted to surprise you this time. I can't wait to chase after you on the side streets. To take on the next phase of your mobility. As I pulled out the bike, and you smiled, then jumped on. It took my breath away. How did you get so big? How did this time go by so fast? It feels like you have been in my life forever and suddenly 3 years all at the same time. And now when the weather changes, you will be riding up and down the street on your new bike just as I did decades ago. Wow. Just wow.

Sometimes, when you are scared, we hold hands because I have told you that together we can be braver then if we were by ourselves. "Momma, I am making you brave." you say. You don't just make me brave, love. You make me proud. I am proud of you. In everything that you do. Proud of the amazing boy you have become. How compassionate you are. How well-adjusted and adventurous. How self-assured and adaptable. Hell, I am proud of me. Proud that I have surpassed my wildest expectations of the kind of mother I thought I would be. Proud that I have had some part in making you as amazing as you are. You are and always will be my greatest accomplishment and my greatest source of joy and pride. I hope you always remember, that you always know, how brave and proud and happy and loved you make me feel. And I hope you always know how incredibly loved you are.

I love you everyday,
Your Momma

Exercising our Green Thumbs

2011-02-05T07:11:00.000-05:00

A Place Between Sheer Glee and Sheer Panic

2011-02-02T16:27:00.008-05:00

One of my best friends from 3.

The Playgroup at St. John's is a weird enigma of a place for me. Wyatt LOVES it there but sometimes I think that he would love school anywhere. He is a very social person. A kid that wants to play all the time and has an elaborate imagination that only other kids can follow. But for me, I can't really shake the assumption that I am the hired help. I work there. So, while the other parents are caught up talking and making connections with each other, I am talking to the teachers about whichever new problem has arose. It has made it hard for me to make connections and establish some kind of social circle for Wyatt. I know he's only 3 (!!) but some of my best friends were made at 3. After making my bold New Years resolution, I decided to just go for it.

Wyatt has several boys that he speaks of fairly often from school (and one girl, Davis. It might be love. Or it might be because she has got that devilish twinkle in her eye and gets scolded a lot). So, I sought out Chases' mom and asked to get the boys together. When she said yes and to come over to their house after class, I had two distinct reactions. Sheer glee and sheer panic. I was so excited for Wyatt and just mildly terrified that I was going to muck up some play-date protocol that I am utterly unfamiliar with. Do I just drop him off? Do I stay? Do I pack snacks? Of course, Wyatt has had friends over but these are friends that I am also friends with, no panic involved. Actually, it is a lot of fun because I get girl catch-up time while Wy plays. But I don't know Chases' mom.

Wyatt's other friend William

So, we go over to Chases' house and I am asked to take off our shoes. So I decided we were staying. Within 3 minutes Wyatt and Chase are upstairs playing and Valerie, her 8 month old daughter, and I are chatting happily in the kitchen. At one point Chase ran downstairs without pants on and she explained that they were potty training. Nothing breaks the ice more then a naked 3 year old. I think I might have had just as much fun as Wyatt. The boys got along great and after 3 hours Wyatt still didn't want to leave. And dare I say, that I got a new friend as well?! Wyatt loved the play-date so much that he asks to go over Chases' house and eat french fries for lunch all the time. Whenever he doesn't want to do something, he says he is going over Chases' house. Unfortunately, the next time we planned on getting together (with Peter and Peters' mom at the library... a triple date!!) Wyatt got sick and we couldn't go. I have to admit, I am looking forward to our next play-date. I think Wyatt is too!

3 Years Happy

2011-01-29T08:25:00.000-05:00

35 Months

2011-01-18T15:36:00.027-05:00

Bud,

I am terribly late with your letter this month. I have no good excuse really. You have been phasing out naps. You would think that this would open up a whole new world of late night possibilities. However, it has kind of blown up in my face because you still don't really go to bed early. If you take a nap, its from 1:45-3:45 and then bedtime ranges from 9-10:30. You really have thought of something manically brilliant to keep your bedtime inching further and further into mom's play time. Right after we get all cozy, our 4 books finished and have begun talking about the day you suddenly declare that you have to go poo-poos! So, yes, of course lets go poo-poos. I can't deny you that, no matter what the time. So, we truck to the bathroom and then we read more books. And you MILK IT. "But mom!?! I'm taking my time." Of COURSE YOU ARE!!! It's only midnight, NO BIGGIE! If I ask you before we go to bed you conveniently don't have to go. The clincher is you ALWAYS poop. You're an opportunistic pooper. So, then I think, 'HA I will take away nap time and then surely you will pass out around 8!' Think again, Mom! You usually hit a really rough patch around 5:30 but then get a second wind and are up until 8:30-9. So, now I have no free time to do anything. Ohhh plus I got the flu. Thats a good excuse, right? The FLU. Who gets the flu? People who are too busy to be inconvenienced by the shot. So, I got the flu and then freaked out that you were going to get the flu and got both of us on tamaflu. Which, cross my fingers, you don't seem to be sick at all. I'm still struggling. I know after writing this everyone is going to tell me to just put you to bed at 6 when you get tired but, you know what, I do not function before 7. Literally, it WILL NOT go well for anyone if I have to get up that early. There will be a light at the end of this tunnel, I'm just not sure when...

Christmas was brought to a whole new level this year. I wasn't prepared for how awesome it would be. Don't get me wrong, last year was great and it was so exciting for both of us. But this year.... blew last year out. of. the. water. You were so excited at everything you got, so attentive, and just so wonderful. Honestly, I was a little worried for a while. Because you asked for a snowmobile. And considering you can't ride a tricycle I wasn't sure if Santa could deliver on a WHOLE snowmobile. It's kind of a lot. I was a worried that there would be a mini-meltdown. Fortunately, you were pretty distracted with all the amazing Legos that you got you haven't asked for a snowmobile yet. There's still your birthday. The Legos are a HUGE distraction. Whoever invented Legos is a genius. We play with them everyday and you have enough to wallpaper the house with them. There are just endless possibilities. You love creating huge "Lego Cities" and then something catastrophic happens. Like an explosion or a tornado and then there are Legos all over the den in 5 minutes flat.

On a slight down turn, you had your first ear infection this month which was a bummer. No matter how many antibiotics I put you on we just couldn't kick it. For someone who never gets sick, you really stuck it out. Of course, the second medicine they put you on tasted AWEFUL so you banned all medicine entering your mouth. And since you are very very clever it was hard to trick you. I swear I could put two yogurts in front of you and you would shun the medicine concealed yogurt EVERY TIME. You're just that smart. Or if I begged and/or bribed you enough you would let me put it in your mouth and then let it slowly dribble down your clean shirt. That was a fantastic time. Thankfully, the third medicine tasted better and got you better too. Just in time for Mom to get the flu! I think you forgot about the medicine horror already because you have been taking your tamaflu fine or maybe its because it comes with this shooter thing that you think is fabulous. Either way, I'll take it.

Sometimes when Gammy comes home from work and I spent the majority of the day playing with you, catering to every fire in the house, I like to have some adult time. I enjoy talking with Gammy when she gets home. You could care less about my need for adult interaction. If I am talking and you really want me to be listening to you, you come within an inch of me and grab my face in your two hands. Look me straight in the eyes and tell me about some truck that dumped its garbage on the street. Honestly, like it is the most important story of the year. Determined to capture all of my attention. If I'm in the other room and you need me you call, "Hey You! Hey you. MOM!!" You sing made up songs in the car and ask for just "one more chocolatey kisses." When you get excited you jump and hop. If I'm holding you, I can feel you vibrating with energy getting ready to jump as soon as I put you down. You have a million and one of these funny gestures that I am so afraid I am going to forget. I just have to write them down to immortalize them.

I always get a little sentimental around this time of year. I blame it on all the down time after the crazy holiday rush. I have decided that this year is going to be the year of before. Let me explain. Right before I found out about you, I spent a year in South Carolina. Pretty much, by myself, meeting a ton of new people. However, if I had known it was my last year of my ridiculous parting, or whimsically accepting party invitations, or causally sipping on tea by the water, and being completely untethered to anything (home, career, relationships, etc) I probably would have done more. If I had known that my life was about to change as drastically as it did, I would have enjoyed it all more. Relished in my laziness. Checked off some of my long standing organization tasks. Maybe have gone out a little more by myself rather then sit and watch TV. Taken some of my homeowners out to dinner. Just lived my life a little fuller knowing that everything might be changing soon. So, I have decided to start living my life, our life, as if this time might be fleeting. Maybe in the next year I'll get a new job and I won't get to spend as much time with you. Or a new love that will make us a threesome. Or a new home that will make life a little more stressful. This is going to be the year of no regrets. I am going to plan day trips into Brooklyn, sign up for your swim lessons, take that trip to LA, just live better, a little fuller. Live our life like maybe some big change is right around the corner, because maybe it is. And maybe I will look back on this time as the time before and wish I had a little more of it.

I love you every minute of every day,
Mom

Snow Day

2011-01-15T07:15:00.002-05:00

Most of our 8-15" snow day was spent outside playing. Wyatt was bundled so much he could hardly move and I had to change his freezing wet gloves twice. We tried to make a pretty awesome Igloo with one of the neighbors but didn't get so far. And Wyatt basically just wanted to dig with his digger which is not very helping when you have to dig out an entire Igloo.

Lizzy eventually abandoned the Igloo and decided to build a snow sphinx. Surely, the first in snow day history.

My snow bunny.

NYBG Trains Rock!

2011-01-08T15:06:00.030-05:00

Things I Learned in 2010

2011-01-02T15:13:00.006-05:00

I learned that I can be happy everyday. Being happy is a choice.
Netflix is amazing - minus that 28 day rule.
I somehow forgot that training a puppy is endlessly annoying.
Wyatt remembers everything except no throwing things in the house.
I learned to endorse co-sleeping. My son sleeps with me. This will not always be the case. Deal with it.
Lizzy will always get what she wants. (see: iPad for xmas, extra 5G's off tuition for No apparent reason, the bigger bedroom, Dr's notes to get out of finals, a boyfriend, a job she goes to when she feels like it, a handicap parking space, etc, etc.)

I am still learning to taking a deep breath and do things that aren't the popular choice but the right choice for me.
The older Wyatt gets the more assured I become that his name is absolutely perfect for him.
Smart phones are a blessing and a curse, I now understand the term crackberry.
Cute dogs can still be stupid.
I spend more time worrying then events actually warrant.
Wyatt is perfectly adaptable in every situation.

I learned that living with a toddler is ENDLESSLY amusing.
I really enjoy camping and would like to start a yearly tradition.
Potty training was wicked easy. (Yes, I am rubbing it in.)
I have perfected the art of completely blocking/ignoring people.
I love my adventure dates with Wyatt, we are the perfect explorers.
I cannot squirt shaving cream one-handed. I will shoot myself in the face.

First days of school are nerve-wracking, no matter who is going.
I learned that 10 years is a long time to harbor silly insecurities. Let. It. Go. Already.
The Magic Kingdom castle is magical at any age.
Having a best friend that works in the medical field is AMAZING. I can never feel stupid about calling Jen at 2am to talk about Wyatt's runny nose.
I can get totally lost and engrossed in a book.
Wyatt will entertain, astound, and enlighten me everyday of my life.

The best moment of my day is picking up Wyatt and having him run into my arms.
I learned how to recognize what I want and to believe that I am worth it.
I am a sucker for new technology.
Traveling by yourself is kind of lonely and kind of liberating.
I learned that Lizzy's idea of babysitting is watching Wyatt and the Jersey Shore at the same time.
Some of my best nights are spent with my girls.

After years of spending New Years Eve in Times Square, I would never imagine myself so content to spend it in bed at 9pm with a super cuddly 2 year old. The perfect way to bring in the new year!
I have learned more life lessons from Wyatt then I ever thought possible.
I am a social person and when I don't interact with people I just get weird.
Lock up your Damn underwear already!
I am a really good mom and am really proud of that.
I have so much more to learn.

The Christmas Photo to Ring in the New Year

2011-01-01T07:24:00.007-05:00

Christmas in Pictures

2010-12-28T14:27:00.003-05:00

The tree after Santa came. Quite impressive if I do say so myself. On the chair are the milk and cookies that Wyatt left out for Santa. He also left carrots for the reindeer. With hummus on the carrots because "the reindeer love hummus too!"

The six stockings on the banister our stockings. The stockings lining the stairs are for my mom's extended family that come over on Christmas Day. The family is growing so fast we are running out of stairs!

We always get Christmas Eve pajamas in our house. Since Wyatt was born, I have been buying them for my parents too. This year when we went shopping, Wyatt picked out these lovely Grinch pajamas for Pa and then insisted that Gammy have them as well.

Getting his first look at the tree. I woke him up (a little) asking "Let's go see if Santa came" because I was so congested Wyatt responded with "Cave?! Why would he bring a cave?" He walked right over to the tree, picked up the first gift and asked if he could open it. I told him we had to wake up Aunt Lizzy and Auntie B. He threw the present back under the tree and ran upstairs to wake up the girls.

The first present Wyatt opened. He got a ton of Lego's which he hasn't stopped playing with. I think the Lego's are his favorite toy. However, when we were opening stockings, the absolute last of the gifts, Wyatt opened a tiny matchbox car and exclaimed "this is just what I always wanted!"

The running joke is Lizzy, at 19, gets a Nancy Drew computer game every year. And she always plays it on winter break usually cheating, might I add. This year I got her an accompanying WWNDD (What Would Nancy Drew Do!) shirt. Hysterical.

Wyatt had to play with each toy he opened before moving on the the next toy. I don't think he understood the extent of the presents because when we were onto the second party of the day he looked at me and asked "Are we going to get more presents?!?" Like he couldn't understand that there could be more to open.

Lizzy being her ridiculous self. Wyatt picked out those socks especially for Aunt Lizzy. It was very important to him that she got them. He thought she would "Love these beautiful dogs!"

Just a typical cousin pile up at my Aunt Carolyn's Christmas brunch.

The morning after customary Clue game. I got Rebecca (although she picked it out herself) The Office Clue. Naturally, I won.

The next morning Wyatt touched my nose with his index finger saying "Hey you. Hey you. Look at the windows! Its morning. Its Christmas!" I had to explain that I thought Christmas was over and Wy was adamant that it wasn't. Yes, I love Christmas too. But I also love the following days of laying around and playing with toys. Of course the snow totally helped us being land locked, playing with Legos and trains, in our pajamas all day.

Lizzy got Dad Decision Points. He began to read it and then fell right asleep. Wyatt and Auntie B thought a silent Silly String attack was in order. Dad never woke up. He stayed like that for a good 2 hours. Thats what shoveling 2 feet of snow and GWB will do to you.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T07:57:00.001-05:00

The Grinch

2010-12-22T16:39:00.012-05:00

I first have to preface this post by saying: I love Christmas. It is, by far, my favorite holiday. I love going to church on Christmas Eve, opening Christmas pajamas, the family camaraderie, the sibling rivalry, the eggnog, sending Christmas cards, and most of all giving gifts to others. I even really enjoy Christmas shopping. It gives me a good reason to spend money, something I normally do very seldom. However, this Christmas has been something of a Grinch trifecta that has left me entirely unprepared, totally behind the 8 ball, and a little on the Grinchy side.

My first issue has been work. This is the busiest time of year for the church. Michael's last day at St. Johns was on the first Sunday of Advent. Normally, I am doing my Sexton things and more recently my Clergy PA things which keeps me busy full time. With Michael gone, I am now picking up some Sunday School stuff which was NEVER in my job description. Now, I don't blame Michael for this at all. In fact, I am very happy for him. It was only a matter of time before he found an amazing church of his own in Brooklyn but just because Michael is gone doesn't mean the work has stopped. So, on top of it being Christmas, I am also adding a good 10 hours of extra work into my normal work week. The thing that kills me is the extra work is stuff I can really sink my teeth into, like planning a youth Habitat retreat. I would LOVE to do that!! It is just a matter of trying to fit it in with everything else. Its been a little crazy and a great stressor. I have had several evenings this month lying awake wondering if I could complete all the things that I have to finish the next day.

Then of course on Monday before Christmas Wyatt started getting sick. Runny nose, coughing, generally ickiness. On Tuesday night, he coughed so much he puked, only once and I think it was because I had just given him a glass of water. Today, I brought him to the doctor to find out he has his first ear infection. Of course, the doctor was impressed that it was his first one and he is almost 3 but I am just panicked. It is going to be Christmas!! My baby can't be sick!! I want him to enjoy every second instead of feeling gross and wishy-washy. And on top of all that, when Wyatt is sick all he wants is me to sit on the couch and snuggle. Which is not so bad normally but during the holidays its hard. I HAVE to go to work. I end up bringing him with me. And he has been good but he's not 100% good. Now that Wyatt is on antibiotics I am guaranteed to be sick for Christmas. He will be feeling better and I will be getting worse. It always happens like that.

You know that post I wrote about my dog being out of control. Well, since its the holidays, he has gone into overdrive. For the most part he has been pretty good and I haven't had to crate him when we leave the house. Then all of a sudden on December 1st, he Freaked the F out. Literally, I am not making up these numbers: he ate 5 plastic cans of cat food one day. Then it was 6 packages of dog food. The next day it was a package of Chips a Ahoy, some Saltines, and a failed attempt at Wyatt's juice boxes. He figured out how to open our pantry, even through my various blockades. Then he ate all our Christmas stocking chocolate. And then puked all night. 5 pairs of my underwear. These chocolate liquor bottles, he was particular to the Grand Marnier and Jack Daniels. Then he was really puking. Finally I dragged the crate back up. This was all in a week. It was Pup's 6 days of Christmas gorging. Its always a nice feeling when you are already stressed and then have to come home to a house that is trashed. Out. Of. Control.

My Christmas shopping started off really well. Before Thanksgiving, I had already bought a bunch of stuff, mostly online. Then Terry had Wyatt on Black Friday and I got a lot more done and then I stalled. Like didn't think about it at all. I had piles of gifts in the basement and had totally forgot what they were. I get to go shopping tomorrow. Then Terry is taking Wy on Christmas Eve and I have 3 hours to wrap before I have to go to work from 1pm-8pm then 12-1:30am. I am stressing out already. I am pretty sure I am going to have to enlist my sisters to help me wrap, which I am sure they are going to be thrilled about. It just makes me kind of sad because that is one of my favorite parts. I LOVE listening to Christmas music, drinking eggnog, decorate presents to the 9's, and being a bonafied elf. I guess theres always next year.

And I know that all of this craziness is going to be totally worth it. I got some damn good gifts this year. I love giving gifts that I know my friends and family are going to enjoy. Wyatt is going to LOVE this Christmas. I cannot wait to see his reaction to everything. I just have to get there.

Christmas in Brooklyn

2010-12-20T16:26:00.000-05:00

For all you readers in Brooklyn:

My cousin Michael (and Wyatt's Godfather) had moved churches and is now the Priest-in-Charge at The Church of St. Luke and St. Matthew in Brooklyn. He is doing a kids Christmas service and asked me to post about it.

If interested, its on Christmas Eve at 5pm. More details here.

Christmas Elf

2010-12-18T07:48:00.002-05:00

34 Months

2010-12-09T14:48:00.001-05:00

Goose,

After the abysmal attempt at making a Gingerbread house last year, I decided that we were going to give it our all. (If you don't remember, you were impatient to decorate and we ended up rushing the process a bit. The whole house collapsed about 5 minutes after we were finished.) This year we waited for it to dry before decorating. We made a trip to the store and bought all kinds of fabulous candy. Gummy worms, jelly beans, Reeses Pieces (which I ate), Peanut Butter Cups, Peppermints. The works. I have to admit, you are very talented and very creative. And this year our house sits proudly on your dresser. You ask, almost, every morning when will it be time to eat it. I don't think you can quite fathom that we wasted all that fabulous candy on a house that you don't eat.

When I found out I was pregnant, Gammy made a blanket statement that she didn't want any stuffed animals in the house. This was due to years and years of trauma having 3 stuffed animal loving hoarders. Then once we got Pup, all the lone stuffed animals became chew toys and eventually disappeared. On your last day of school, your teachers gave you a lovely stuffed penguin as a gift. You unwrapped it with such glee. But once you got it out of the package you burst into tears. "Its a Pup toy!!! Where's MY toy??" I finally got you to calm down after I explained that your teachers didn't know we have a stuffed toy destroyer and I am sure you will get a ton of more presents for Christmas. And maybe some cars. Or legos. Or trucks. Or puzzles. I have left it in the car because I am sure it will start another round of hysterics when Pup starts ripping out the stuffing.

I have been pretty busy lately organizing this advent series at church based on Harry Potter. Its called Wizards and Wonders and the kids have really been getting a kick out of it. St. John's is so like Hogwarts already, we didn't have to do much. I have been bringing you with me while I set up, then Gammy picks you up on her way home. I was getting you ready to leave on Wednesday while explaining the game plan (you like to be informed).
"No thanks. I want to come with you."
"But sweetie, I think it might be a little boring for you. You will have more fun staying home with Gammy."
"No thanks. I want to be your big helper."
This went on for 5 minutes until I caved. I wasn't too sure about your sparkling behavior. Earlier in the day, I brought you with me to our staff lunch. You did really great, falling asleep on my lap after finishing your mac and cheese, and I was positive my luck was going to run out. But I figured that it was a children's program and that maybe the other kids would distract you enough to give me some room to work. I am so glad I brought you. Yes, you had a mild meltdown around 8:30 but that is to be expected so late. You loved running around with the kids. You even told me that I needed to sit at another table because, obviously, I was cramping your style during dinner when you were sitting next to this beautiful 6 year old girl, Leigh. You were the youngest kid but kept pace with all the others. Even holding hands around the tree, trying to sing Christmas carols. When talking about our fears, you said you didn't have any because you were brave and that when we hold hands, you make me brave too. (Tear....) The next day when I was giving you a snack you said "God is great, God is good. I-am." I asked you to repeat that, which you did. I tried to correct you on the "I-am" is Amen part but you are quite convinced its "I-am". You said you learned it at the church. Thats really "cool dude". (As you would say.)

I love you everyday,
Mom

PS.....Its almost Christmas. I CANNOT WAIT to see your face on Christmas morning. I am so excited, I can hardly stand it. All this crazy running around is so worth it.

O Christmas Tree

2010-12-04T07:29:00.000-05:00

The Accident Incident

2010-12-02T20:30:00.000-05:00

Wyatt has been trained since April. Over the summer I tossed his overnight pull-ups. He rarely has accidents. I can probably count the times on one hand and usually they happen at night. He'll wake up saying "Momma, I have to go potty" and he'll have already gone. You really can't blame him for trying. Sometimes there will be a small wet spot in his underwear because he waits till the very last second before rushing to the bathroom. He holds it forever. Kid's a camel. But even that won't happen if you prompt him when he starts doing "the dance".

During the first month in school, on a Wednesday when I went to pick him up, he was soaked. Drenched in pee down to his socks. You could smell him 5 feet away. I didn't think it was Wyatt at first, maybe some kid with a dirty diaper. Most of the kids in his class aren't potty trained. I told his teachers he is really good about telling you but sometimes you have to prompt him. I wondered if it just happen. That he got too busy and couldn't be bothered to stop playing. I gathered him up in my arms and rushed him out. I didn't say anything to his teachers. I didn't want to embarrass Wyatt. I didn't want him to think he did anything wrong. I took him to my office to get him cleaned up. (I still keep an extra set of clothes in his backpack. If its not pee, its chocolate or dirt or water. Better to be prepared.) It wasn't until I got him undressed that I realized he was freezing. He had peed a long time ago.

I was livid. He had been sitting in his own pee for God knows how long. Why didn't they change him? If they didn't want to change him, why didn't they call me? I am in the building, working, while Wyatt is at school. Literally, 30 seconds away. Hell, if they let him out of the classroom he would know where to find me unassisted. The only answer I could give myself is there are too many kids in his class; 17 kids to 3 teachers. They missed him. He's not a crier so he doesn't get noticed. I was so upset. I called Terry, Mom, Jen, Becca to find out if I was over reacting or the conclusion I had draw seemed accurate. They all agreed I would have to talk with his teachers.

I went early on Friday; to catch them before all the other kids and parents arrived. I explained that I was unhappy with something that happened. I told them that I wasn't upset that Wyatt had an accident. I almost expected a few with the transition but that he sat wet for some time. They said I shouldn't be upset, that accidents happen. No matter how hard I tried to explain myself, they just didn't seem to understand. I left the room bewildered. I didn't know how to explain it any clearer. I went to work. I thought all day about making a second attempt on how to spell it out. Its hard to tell someone you don't think they are doing their job. I ran into the director of the program in the basement. I wasn't going to mention anything to her. She said she had heard I was unhappy. I explained again. She confirmed that was a valid concern and didn't think his teachers understood.

When I went to pick him up, all of his teachers came over to apologized. They said that he is such a great kid and always asks for anything he needs and that they were sorry they didn't notice. I asked that they remind him to go once a day until we're confident that he'll remember on his own. In the following days, they said they asked but he never needed to go. They thought maybe he had some kind of fear of the potty at school. Which I thought was weird. I had taken him there before and he pretty much goes anywhere, no problem. I talked to Wyatt about it and he responded with "I'll remember. Don't worry Momma." No joke.

He hasn't had another accident since. And I think they have stopped prompting him. One of his teachers ran over to me on pick up a few weeks later, so excited that he came and asked to go potty. I told Wyatt I was proud of him for remembering. When I asked him for his daily highlights, he didn't mention it. Colored play-doh and cherry pickers were much more interesting. It was a non-issue for him. He forgot that one time. The whole incident taught me that it was clearly something that bothered me much more then it bothered Wyatt.

On the Road Less Traveled

2010-11-27T07:48:00.000-05:00

Wy's First School Photo

2010-11-20T07:31:00.001-05:00

The Great Destructor

2010-11-18T15:08:00.003-05:00

I haven't mentioned our four legged family member in a while and I am sure you are dying for an update. He is settling in quite nicely although we are noticing a lot of neurotic tendencies. This dog is OUT OF HIS MIND. I have my theories about why he is such a neurotic dog. Maybe he was separated too early from his mother. Maybe the puppy place didn't treat him so well. Maybe he ate some poisoned dog food. Maybe he just lost too many brain cells. I'm not sure but whatever the reason, something is not all there. Here's the proof:

1. He will eat anything. I when I say anything, I mean everything. Steak, mac and cheese, lasagna, and then not so normal stuff like carrots, cardboard, stale bread thrown in the backyard for the birds, blankets, underwear, sticks and Wyatt's toys. I actually took a video of Pup jumping on the arm of a chair to take a carrot out of a bowl. I got a box of chocolates for Dad's birthday and left them on the kitchen table. We passed each other on the road, less then 1 minute way from the house. Pup ate the entire box then puked for the rest of the night.

2. Along with the eating comes the begging. He is CONSTANTLY begging. Inching closer and closer to the food source until he is literally on top of you watching you eat like a tennis match. He chases Wyatt around the house jumping after whatever Wyatt is holding in his hand. He attacks Wyatt when he gets down from the table, licking his pants, hands, shirt, and wherever else food has landed. Mom decided that he just needed to be fed more and he is not only still begging but now he's fat.

3. Thats all fairly normal I guess but in addition to his food fetishes, he needs to be very close to you all the time. Like living on Mom's lap and when sleeping on the bed he inches closer and closer until he is on a pillow breathing into your face. When I am playing on the floor with Wyatt, he has to sit on the legos or puzzle pieces. When he's sleeping on the couch while I am watching TV and he will get up to come to the bathroom with me. He waits outside the bathroom door while mom or I are showering. I can't quite do this justice because it is really something you have to see to believe.

4. He is abysmal at walking on his leash. Just the sight of Wyatt putting on his shoes or jacket sends the dog into hysterics. He runs and barks and barks and barks. Oh God the barking. And after the barking its the running around everything he can find; tangling his leash and himself around trees, lamp posts, or parking signs. Its a nightmare. You would think he would get better the more walks he went on (we tried this theory; a walk everyday and running around with the neighborhood kids in the afternoon) but no, he got worse. And he pulls, like ripping your arm out of its socket pulls. The worst is when he runs around Wyatt and tangles his legs. They don't make a leash short enough for this dog. If they did, I would buy it.

Wy and Pup in my laundry.

5. He has an insatiable need to lay in the clean, hot laundry. Need I say more.

6. He has a sick fascination with our cat, Delilah. He chases the poor thing all over the house. But she has learned, the coy little cat. She taunts him. She will sit perfectly still as he charges for her. Then he chickens out and stops, as he is usually met with her sharp claws, absolutely dumbfounded on why she isn't moving. Then she usually starts rubbing all over him while purring. It drives him crazy and sets him barking and running in circles sliding on the kitchen floor. Their love/hate relationship is hysterical to watch. Delilah likes to hang out on the porch roof. One early morning, while Delilah was casually sunning herself, Pup caught a glimpse and decided to jump through the slightly open window. 6 in the morning Pup and Delilah running circles on our roof, Mom yelling for Pup to come inside, for all the casual dog walkers to see. I would have paid good money to see that.

Pup Garbage Destruction

7. I bought this dress for my 10 year reunion. I LOVE this dress. I gingerly took it out of the box and spread it out on the floor to admire it. Pup ran over, sat on it, then started to drag his butt on it. Really!?! Do I have to say more?

Most of the time its endearing. I guess you could say he fits right in with the family. Bear was a neurotic dog as well but she was also a REALLY good dog. Pup (I am praying) is still in his mischievous puppy years and will eventually grow into a really good neurotic dog. When I was in college I bought a fighting fish that looked like he was the loser in about 1400 fights. No one could understand why I would buy a fighting fish that had all its fins bitten off. But I did. Just because I didn't think anyone else would. Maybe I saw some of that in Pup too. That we needed to save him. And besides aren't we all just a little neurotic. When he's not eating the garbage or my underwear he really is very sweet.

The Sheriff

2010-11-13T07:42:00.004-05:00

33 Months

2010-11-11T02:13:00.008-05:00

My Love,

You are the big man at pre-school and it is the cutest thing on the planet. Your teachers call you and three other boys "The Inseparables." Hugh, Charlie, Chase, and Wyatt. You play together on the playground boat everyday. When we walked in the other day Charlie was sitting on Mrs. Schwalb's lap, when he saw you he called "There's Wyatt!" Then jumped down and ran over to you. Mrs. Schwalb said that Charlie was upset when he walked in and you weren't there yet. It is so comforting to know that you have surrounded yourself with friends and love going to school so much. I am 100% positive that you have fun every time you go. I know that not everyone sticks with their pre-school friends but I have and I hope the same for you.

We received this lovely Target toy catalog which has become your new favorite book. You love reading it on the toilet for hours. No, thats an exaggeration. More like 30-45 minutes. You sit there on your throne (after usually going in the first 5 minutes), going over each page. You want Santa to bring you EVERY SINGLE toy in that catalog. And for some reason you actually think thats going to happen. I told you that Santa only brings a few toys if you are really good then Gammy, Auntie B, Dada, and the rest of the family will get you something. But you are adamant that he will bring you everything. We chatted for a while about how Christmas is not about getting gifts, it is about giving gifts and showing people you love them. You said you would buy me a beautiful shirt, just what I always wanted.

I was putting you to bed the other night (you were in a million question mood which happens quite often and is absolutely my most favorite time of day) and asked me "Gammy is going to sleep with Pa?" A pretty intuitive question for a 2 year old and one that I was mildly stumped by. I went with the first answer I could think of which I knew was going to lead to more questions.
"Well, Gammy and Pa are married."
"What is married?"
"When two people love each other sometimes they get married. They live together and make a home. Sometimes they have children and they have dinner together and care for each other. They're a family."
"Are we married?"
"No Bud. We're not married. But we are a family and I do love you very very much."
OK, so you have to agree that you are the sweetest little boy on the planet. And I am sure you can see how it would be confusing.

You are started showing interest in having your own bed. You picked out a quilt set that is actually really cute and that you will be getting for Christmas. I think I am going to re-do the whole bedroom upstairs for you. I am not sure it is going to work but if you are interested I feel like I have to give it a try. It is bittersweet for me. When you first joined my bed, I knew it was going to be hard to get you out but I also knew it was a temporary situation. A 7 year old is not going to want to sleep in his mothers bed. Selfishly, I enjoy having you with me at night. I still wake up and listen to you breathe and talk in your sleep. Last night you woke up from a bad dream and yelled for me that there were snakes in the bed. And I was right there so you just snuggled back into me and were back asleep in a heartbeat. It is nice to be able to provide that kind of comfort for you. Its something that I will not always be able to do. I know it is not right for all families but having you in my bed was wonderful. I wouldn't have given it up for the world and I will be sad to see you go. But you must know you will always have a warm spot right next to me no matter where you go or when you get there.

I love you everyday,
Momma

The Winter White is Coming!

2010-11-06T07:30:00.001-04:00

Wyatt had to try on every hat to make sure it fit for the winter. We got this electric fire place thing at the St. John's fair. It looks comically fake but some how makes the living room feel warmer. It was an excellent find.

The Dump Truck

2010-11-01T11:28:00.012-04:00

In September, I bought this incredibly well made, hand crafted, cowboy costume from the St. John's Fair. It had real suede chaps and a little vest. I had planned for Wyatt to go as Woody and I would be Jessie (probably trying to get Pup to be Bullseye) from Toy Story. I showed Wyatt the costume and he seemed OK with the whole idea. I patted myself on the back and crossed Halloween costume off my list. Then about 3 weeks ago, while explaining the logistics of Halloween, I asked him if he was excited to be cowboy Woody. He looked at me kind of puzzled then responded with "I want to be a dump truck." "A dump tuck?!?" "A dump truck." And it was settled. He wanted to be a dump truck and I could throw the Woody costume out the window.

Looking at pumpkin guts.

I tried not the think about it, hoping he would change his mind. But he didn't. Everytime someone asked him, he was being a dump truck, which got rather funny looks from other parents. Then I asked him what color dump truck he want to be. "Pink." A Pink Dump Truck. OK, I though, this is going to be interesting. Honestly, he could be a tye-dyed dump truck for all I cared. I guess I was just waiting for him to change his mind on the costume. Toddlers change their minds so often I didn't want to dive into making it just for him to change his mind 10 seconds later. So, I waited some more. It was a pink dump truck for about a week. Then it was a purple one for a few days. Then he settled on yellow and I was running out of time. But he was unwaivering. He wanted to be a dump truck. I brainstormed with Gammy for a bit, established a game plan, and decided to give it a go.

We thought a box with suspenders would be the easiest. Then he could be a construction worker driving a dump truck. Once the box and lots of yellow poster board was purchased, Gammy and I got to work. Of course, once our creative juices started flowing we had to out-do each other. Gammy found this aluminum roasting pan to create a bumper. I decided I needed to photoshop a NY license plate that Gammy brilliantly thought should read DUMP4U. Then Gammy took a pink (!!) toy sand sifter to bolt to the box as a working steering wheel. Then I picked up some tap lights for some working headlights. It really took on a life of its own. Lizzy thought we were a little obsessed with it. Wyatt was extremely excited once it was finished enough for him to run around the house in.

Wyatt winning his trophy!

On Friday, there was a costume contest at a local church. Wyatt was so excited to show off his costume. And honestly, I was going to be pretty disappointed if he didn't win something. But the thing was, Wyatt was SELLING this costume. He thought it was awesome, driving this truck around, turning the headlights on and off. There was another little boy as a matchbox car, whose costume was much better constructed, and while up on the judging stage they were driving around together. When he didn't want to wear it anymore he parked it in the corner. All the other kids quietly whispered what they were into the microphone and Wyatt proclaimed his dump truck costume loud and proud. He won first place amongst the preschool kids. Both of us were thrilled. Wyatt proudly displayed his trophy on the coffee table and is still talked about it. I have no idea how we are going to outdo ourselves next year or what Wyatt will dream up next.

Dump4U - Details to follow...

2010-10-30T09:35:00.002-04:00

Halloween Prep

2010-10-23T07:44:00.001-04:00

The Happy Couple

2010-10-18T20:30:00.001-04:00

Michael and Joanna got married last week. It was a small ceremony, and by small I mean parents and witnesses. After dinner they invited some family and a few friends to celebrate at a bar in NYC. Since Michael is a Priest they plan to doing a blessing ceremony with the Bishop sometime in the spring. I was really proud of them for making their wedding about them. I feel like weddings and sweet 16's and parties in general are becoming more about the pressure to have a big party rather then the gut feeling of who is throwing it. It was really nice to see Michael and Jo do exact what they wanted without making excuses or apologies.

Of course, at the bar, I was watching them. They were so happy, like radiating happy, (and forsaking all things sappy) radiating love. Joanna wore this black strapless dress with trophies and blue ribbons all over it because she was a "Trophy Wife". I have no idea where she got it but it was quite hysterical. And Michael had a pocket square to match his suit and her shoes. It was like they were magnetically attached. Even if they were back to back, Jo's hand would reach out to find Michael's. Michael was staring at her all night. When they weren't attached Michael would sit and watch Jo move. It is rare to see Michael so engrossed in thought, so contemplative, and so utterly at peace. It made the gesture all the more astounding. It makes me well up thinking of someone loving you so much they just want to watch the way you move.

I hate to make this all egotistical. I am so happy for them but I am just a little sad and mopey for me. Not that their married, no. It was seeing a couple so happy just made this hollow pit in my stomach ache as I realized I might never have that. (It is so obnoxious that I am making this about me. I have never mentioned these feeling to anyone and now I am touting them on my blog. Eh) I can feel myself becoming that bitter, lonely, desperate, love-less person and I hate it. It is getting harder and harder for me to believe in a happy ending. Maybe I will never find a person that I want to marry. Sometimes I am ok with that and other times it just makes me sad and lonely thinking I might never find someone to share my life with. I told someone the other day that I was saving up for a down payment on a house because I can't wait for a mythical fairy prince to sweep me off my feet and make a home with me. How hopelessly realistic and bitter is that? It makes me cringe but that is the honest to God place I am at right now.

I am not fishing for compliments or searching for a date. I just needed to vent a little. My situation seems a little bleak at the moment. I don't really have time or motivation to invest in dating. And it is super unrealistic to think that the man of my dreams is going to knock on my door or drive by on a tractor. And it would take a pretty selfless man to willingly accept position number 2 on my priority list when Wyatt is so clearly NUMBER ONE (in caps because this is where he will remain and reign). I keep on reminding myself to be patient and positive but it is just so damn hard sometimes. Someone recommended that I read Meeting Your Half-Orange. But the thought of reading a dating/self-help book is making me more depressed instead of optimistic. Maybe I will give it a try. If anything it might help to learn how to keep the jaded bitterness out of voice.

The Colors of the Wind

2010-10-16T07:24:00.004-04:00

I was in the kitchen making lunch. Then I realized I was talking to myself and the entire house was quiet. I found Wyatt sitting on the stairs experimenting with my eyeshadow. The pictures don't really do it justice. He was COVED. Then we laughed and laughed and laughed.

Summer Re-cap

2010-10-09T07:15:00.002-04:00

Just one of the guys.

Trying to stay cool. I love Pup's strategic pose.

Playing pretend doggies with our Aussie cousin Isabel.

Running through the fields of Calicoon.

Summer....we'll miss you. Come back soon.

32 Months

2010-10-08T22:29:00.014-04:00

Big Guy,

You are loving school so, so, so much just like I knew you would. You bound in the door every day and barely have enough time to kiss me goodbye. It was Sunday and I was heading off to work. Gammy came down to watch you and asked you if you were excited to stay home with her for the day. You told her you were going to school. When we told you that it wasn't a school day, you demanded that it WAS a school day and that the kids were waiting for you. I think maybe its time to start taking you to Sunday school. I just hope that you are still so involved and in love when you get to high school.

So, I have a confession to make. I've watched you at school. Three times already. I know. I'm kind of stalking you. But I swear I just do it because you are so damn cute. The first time I was working in the kitchen at St. John's. The sink has a lovely window over it looking directly out onto the school playground. (This kitchen is my DREAM kitchen so I actually enjoy spending time in there. Oh the cabinet space....don't get me started.) I was mindlessly washing dishes and watching the kids on the play ground. It was 5 minutes or so before the kids' faces clicked and I knew I was watching your class. Then I found you bounding joyfully, running with these two other blond/blue boys then resting your belly on a swing. Mrs. Schwab picked you up and she pushed you on the swing for a while before you were off and running again. I watched you darting around as I jumped between the kitchen, the door, and the hallway trying to keep you in my line of vision. When the teacher asked the class to line up you were one of the first by the gate. Then you made your way up the stairs holding on to the rail just like I asked you to. I was (am!) so proud of you! Now that I know you are on the playground from 10:45 to 11:30 everyday I just might happen to peek out the window a bit. Don't be mad. You just so cute and independent and swinging all by yourself.

I also signed you up for a story time at the Big Library (as you call it, in the town over). I feel like I am cheating on our smaller hometown library but one of the boys you like to play with at school does story time and I thought you would enjoy it. Turns out you really do. And you are a superb listener. The Librarian was distributing name tags usually finding the child in the crowd. When she called your name, you jumped straight up raising you hand up to the sky excitedly saying "That's me!! That's me! I'm Wyatt." The Librarian was so surprise and excited to see such enthusiasm at story time. It is so lovely to watch you in this school environment. I get a glimpse of what you must be like at school. You follow directions so well. Even if you don't know the song their singing, you try to mimic the hand gestures and sing the words you catch onto. Eager, I think is the best word. Eager to learn and to please and to experience absolutely everything that surrounds you.

As a testament to my reading a lot post, I was reading while you were waking up and watching TV. You saw me take out the book. Took the book out of my hands and threw it behind the couch. I had told myself that seeing me read would instill a love of reading in you. But in that one decisive action, I realized if my reading was taking away from your MomMom time, you might not ever read again. I have been making a conscience effort to only read on my time now. Cause you, my love, are a far better story then any book. As we were getting up one morning, you stopped getting off the bed to look me right in the eyes, "I like you." you said to me. "You like me? Well, I like you too bud." "I like you cause you put my pants on evereyday." How amazing to be liked for such a mundane task?! Not because I love you or because I play with you or even because I let you eat ice cream and M&M's. But because I get you dressed everyday. How amazing that you are able to express a because statement younger then 3? I just can't get enough of you.

I love you everyday,
Mom-mom

The S'more Encounter

2010-10-02T07:13:00.003-04:00

My Latest Haunts

2010-09-30T22:45:00.004-04:00

I have been reading A LOT lately. Like A LOT, a lot. Like reading when Wyatt asks to watch YouTube videos which is like reading the same sentence four times. And waking up at odd hours of the night to read until my eyes go blurry. I even attempted to read in traffic the other day. Bad idea. I got beeped at twice before I decided it was probably the stupidest idea I've ever had. I have always been an avid reader. But lately my reading choice (and obsession) has got me a little concerned.

The first series I got stuck on was the Hunger Games. Yes, its a youth novel. Yes, so is the Twilight series which I also read and enjoyed. Yes, so is Harry Potter which I LOVED. So when I heard buzz about this series when the last novel was being released, I checked it out at the library. I read this book in 2 days. It is captivating. The writing is not brilliant but the story is intriguing and the characters lovable. It is more violent then I ever expected a youth novel to be and Graphic (queasy faced graphic). I went back to the library to get book 2 and there was a waiting list. I promptly ordered the other 2 books, Catching Fire and Mockingjay on Amazon. Then I dreamt about these characters, about their world, their war, their poverty, their cruelty, their sobering reality. I would find myself laying awake, staring at the ceiling, wondering about how I would react in their situations. When the books arrived, it was Wyatt's first week of school and the St. John's Fair that occupies most of the month of September for me. And I still could not let the books sit on the shelf for a better time. I stayed awake from 1am until 6am reading Catching Fire. I just couldn't put it down. I was just as bad with Mockingjay. I really hope they make them into movies and I totally understand what all the buzz was about. This series was totally worth my late nights.

More recently, I started the Sookie Stackhouse Series which the HBO show TrueBlood is based on. I love TrueBlood. Just call me a vampire lover. I think the show is so brilliantly awful yet oddly addicting. I wanted to know where it originated from. I have to admit, they are not my favorite books but the sex scenes do live up to HBO standards. In the first novel, I found typos and sometimes there are so many characters that I can't keep them straight. And predictably a new character is always the villain and most often dies at the end. Perhaps the only reason that I am interested in these novels are for this man:

Oh my LORD. I am drooling already. Sometimes I find myself skimming pages simply to find his name. This actor, Alex Skarsgard: (I have to picture him again because he is just so delicious...)

Plays the character Eric Northman on the TrueBlood series. And I simply can't help but imagine him when I am reading the novels. Literally my life right now is built on elaborate fantasies about this man. It just shows the state of my social life when I would rather read and dream about fictional characters then motivate myself to meet new people that most assuredly will not live up to my fantasies. I know I should invest more time in actual relationships but sometimes it is just easier to dream. I don't recommend the novels but I do recommend Alex Skarsgard. Yum. My next series is the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Thoughts? Is it as good as everyone says it is?

Goodbye Summer. We'll Miss You.

2010-09-25T07:14:00.011-04:00

Wyatt One Liners

2010-09-22T01:20:00.008-04:00

I was trying to wrangle Wyatt into his chair for dinner and he was just not cooperating. Finally, I gave him his ultimatum. He had until I counted to 3 before I would pick him up and put him in his chair. His response "I'm gonna get mad at you real quick" put me in hysterics.

I brought Wyatt to work with me. I told him that he needed to be my big helper and work really hard with me. Wyatt was fabulously well-behaved, even for him. When we were leaving for the day I kept on reminding him how fabulous he had been. Without missing a beat, "I was really good at Momma's work. Can we go to the toy store next?"

Rebecca is notorious for asking Wyatt for kisses whenever she is home. When he exhausts one answer he moves on to the next. "Sorry closed for business." Or "its too early for kisses and hugs, Auntie B"

We are down at the beach. Wyatt has been throwing toys out into the water then wading out to get them. He gave one truck a pretty forceful throw. He stopped when the water reached his waist knowing that was his limit unassisted. He called to me. I went out to fetch the truck. As I am chasing the truck caught in the current I hear Wyatt shouting, "I'm freaking out! I'm freaking out!" I wonder where he learned that from?

Wyatt and I are looking in the freezer for a evening snack.
"I want a chocolate brownie."
"We don't have chocolate brownies"
"Chocolate Brownie!!"
"Bud, I don't know what you're talking about. We don't have chocolate brownies."
"Lemme see. Lemme see. Chocolate brownies. Yes, siree."
Once I convinced him we didn't have any chocolate brownies, he settled for a creamsickle.

Pa has been trying to teach Wyatt "1,2 Buckle my Shoe." I have to admit, it is helping with his counting but rhyming is not his strong suit.
Pa goes "1, 2 buckle my...."
"Truck."
"3, 4 shut the..."
"Potty"
"5, 6 pick up..."
"Toys."

Every night after we turn off the light we play this I Love You game. I say something like "I love you more then the stars love the sky."
And he usually responds with "I love you like a wee-oh wee-oh truck."
"I love you more then a shark loves his teeth."
"I love you like an ambull-ance."
"I love you more then a backhoe loves his tires."
"I love you like a gookah." A gookah is Wyatt's favorite made up word. A gookah can be just about anything and I think he uses it when he forgets a more appropriate word. Last night he told me he love me like a Mom-mom. I told him I think that is a lot. And he told me "So many people love me."
Yes, Wy, so many people do love you. Very much.

Up in the Country

2010-09-18T14:06:00.002-04:00

The Greatest Adventure

2010-09-16T18:32:00.036-04:00

Wyatt's first day of school went brilliantly! Once he woke up (which only took one TV show, 30 cuddle minutes, and 2 pop tarts. He is a very slow riser. A new record!) he was so excited. He spoke about the toys he wanted to play with and the friends he was going to make. Surprisingly we made in out of the house early which gave me time to document the moment on our front porch. Can't you just feel his happiness?!? On the ride, I couldn't stop from smiling. I was just so excited for him. I battered him with questions and fun things he was going to do at school.

"Do you remember your teacher's names? Your teachers are going to be so excited to see you again."

"They're sad."

"They're sad?! Why are they sad?"

"Because there is no Wyatt yet."

When we got to the church, I told him it was going to be a few more minutes and we should go into the office first. He grabbed my hand and tried to drag me down the path going to his school. I couldn't even get him to use the bathroom because he wanted to use the potty in his "new school." He ran right in the room and went directly to the toys. I reminded him that he needed to ask his teachers if he needed to go to potty. I swear if he had learned to roll his eyes at me, he would have. He sounded almost exasperated when he replied "Yes, Mom." I asked him to give me a hug and kiss (which is standard leaving protocol).

"Where are you going?"
"Mom's going to work. But I'm going to come and get you in a little while. You get to stay and play with your friends."
"OK"
And that was about it. He turned away from me to go play. I had my camera to document his first day but since he seemed so ready I felt like I should just get out of there. I didn't want to linger. So, I walked out and he didn't even notice. For the next hour, I vacuumed. Convinced it was probably the only way I would survive. I needed something mindless, repetitive, so I didn't run over and spy in the windows.

When I walked in to get him, his back was to me and he was doing a puzzle with another little boy. Mrs. Marino came over to me and said that he got a little upset when other mom's started to show up and I didn't. She also said he was very smart and went to the potty. She said when they asked him to do a project he said "No thanks" at first. Yes, that is my son. I called to him and he ran over to give me a hug.

"I was sad. I didn't know where you were"

"Oh sweetie. I was at work. I will always come back and get you. How was your first day? What did you do?"

And he turned to show me the apple he made and hung on the wall. The toys he played with. The playdoh shape he made. On our way out, I asked him to say thank you to his teachers. He ran straight for Mrs. Schwab and gave her a hug.

On our way to the car, I told Wyatt "Sweetie, I am just so proud of you!" He reached out and grabbed my hand saying "I'm so pround of you too." I didn't cry. I am pretty pround of myself too.

On day two, I tried to get him to pose for a picture outside his classroom. He wanted no part of it. He just wanted me to open the door. He ran in. On Thursday (a no school day), Gammy asked if he wanted to say home with her for the day. He said he wanted to go to school. My little boy is all grown up. I am so happy he loves it. Its so exciting. I am so proud of my Wyatt.

The Mischief Makers

2010-09-11T12:51:00.001-04:00

And a special Happy Birthday to my favorite Auntie B.

"I love you like a backhoe!"

31 Months

2010-09-09T17:15:00.024-04:00

Bud,

You are starting school tomorrow. I know you are going to do fabulous but I just can't seem to get over the fact that you are going to school. MY BABY. TO SCHOOL. FOR REALS. Welcome to the next 16 years of your life. When you woke up from your nap today your hand reached for mine and held my index finger. It reminded me so much of when you were a little baby and held onto my hand in that same way. But surely this big hand and smiling little boy can't be my baby. This boy who tells stories, can count to 10, reads me books, plays in the dirt, knows colors and shapes, and wants to do everything by himself. It doesn't seem possible. You are my little boy. It seems to have all gone so fast. And as much as I am sad for myself, I am so excited for you. I just know you are going to have the time of your life and I can't wait to hear every detail. I know you are ready for your first real adventure without me. But I am certainly not. And I am definitely going to be that parent sneaking around in the woods and spying through the windows.

Daddy and I took you upstate to his families house in Callicoon with Grandma and Grandpa. We had such a blast. The house with all the recent upgrades from Grandpa was gorgeous, the weather outstanding, and the rays of sun through the trees were breath taking. (I was kicking myself all weekend for forgetting my camera.) You loved every minute running wild with Pup and Dad and breaking in the new swing that Grandpa built. You had your first tractor ride, which was really a ride-on lawn mower, but you seemed pretty content with that. You liked it better when it was off because then you could jump around in the seat and play "peetend" instead of sitting patiently and driving. We trekked to the farm down the road to see the horses, goats, and real live tractors, which you were a little hesitant by the sheer size of them. But in about 5 minutes, you were begging Dad to put you in the seat. The farmer gave me zucchini's the size of my thigh and called you the "sidewalk cowboy". A nickname that I find quite fitting. I called in sick to work just so we could enjoy a few more hours in the fresh country air. It was totally worth it.

Brianne's little sister, Gracie, at 10 years old has started her own business; Gracie's Cupcakery and Wyatt is IN LOVE. Seriously. Gracie sets up a stand at the Farmers Market every Saturday and sells them for $2. She makes flowers out of marshmallows, fish out of circus peanuts, and aliens out of lollipops. And she makes this chocolate heath bar cupcake pop that is to DIE for. She has home made business cards that say "We'll bake you happy." You were hooked the first Saturday we went. Its funny now because almost every Saturday you ask to go find "Gracie's cupcakes." I don't even know how you knows its Saturday! Last Saturday, I knew Gracie wasn't going to be out. So when you asked I told you Gracie's was closed. Major freak out. You demanded it was open and pretty much dragged me to the car. We drove all around the Ville until you were satisfied. Once I told Bri the story, she hand delivered some for you. And when we went this Saturday, you walked right up to the cooler of cupcakes and helped yourself to about 8 then sat in your wagon surround by your cupcakes. Truly, its love.

I feel like I say the same thing in every letter. That you are getting so big and I have no idea how you have grown up so fast. And its true, I can't help but be shocked every month. But, in general, I don't see your progress everyday. Its not until I sit and reflect on the month that I am shocked. I have taken to cuddling you more, kissing you every chance I can get, helping you as much as you will let me. Because I don't know how long it is going to last. I have this sickening feeling that one morning I am going to wake up and you are going to be 6 and not want to give me hugs or hold my hand. And I am going to be upset that I didn't take advantage of the innocent time when I could. Maybe its just because your going to school. I don't know. But whatever it is I try to let you know everyday that you amaze me. That I am so proud of you. That I adore you. And when I say "I love you" you say "I love you too."

I love you everyday.
MomMom (thats your new name for me and I kind of love it.)

The Three Amigos

2010-09-04T07:28:00.000-04:00

Staring: Wyatt

Cousin William

And the baby Lars Christian

The Naked Truth

2010-09-02T20:13:00.008-04:00

When I was 10, I was at a friends house. We were in the basement playroom and I had to use the bathroom. She told me it was upstairs and gave me directions past the kitchen. As I entered the kitchen, her dad was standing, butt naked, in front of the sink. He looked up, made eye contact with me then continued washing the dishes. I was mortified. Shocked, really. I had no idea that people (or parents, I should say) stood around naked like that. It was not something that happened in my family. For a while, I thought all parents wandered around naked and it was just my parents that didn't. He seemed so comfortable. Stark naked knowing that there was a bunch of 10 year-old neighbor girls in the basement. Like it was just a totally normal family activity similar to dinner around the kitchen table. It took a while for me to realize that it was her family, not mine, that was out of the norm. That not everyone was so comfortable being naked, mid-day, doing chores, while your children played in the basement.

Wyatt loves being naked. He has naked time for at least an hour after every bath. I think this is entirely acceptable. I want him to be comfortable with himself. I want him to know that his body is a work of art and nothing to be ashamed about or feel obligated to cover up. Obviously, there is a time and place to his nakedness but I am sure he will learn this with age. We were naked a lot as kids and I don't think it did us much harm. The best part is when he was at the doctor today and while the doctor was examining his neither regions Wyatt proclaimed "The doctor is checking out my penis!" Because that is what he calls it. Because he is naked a lot and potty trained and when he's playing with it, I tell it like it is.

I have always been very comfortable with my body. I am not a nudist or anything but I enjoy my naked time just as the next girl. I don't wander around the house naked while other members of my family are home. But I also think it is a safe assumption to say that my entire family has seen my butt and while breast feeding, I would have to say my boobs as well. I try my best not to be naked in front of Wyatt but its inevitable. Every once and a while he will see me getting dressed or getting into the shower or going to get something out of the laundry. But he doesn't even blink an eye. Doesn't seem to even notice. I guess he accepts my nakedness just as his own.

So, while we were camping, I had to take Wyatt into the shower with me. This has happened a few times before but I try not to make it a habit. I don't really think its a big deal. He was doing great and then mid-shower he politely asks "Momma, where is your penis?" I diverted the question which I don't normally do. He caught me off guard and tried not to be utterly shocked. It got me thinking how old is too old for him to see me naked? I thought around 5 but now I am second guessing myself. I don't want to be like the family I mentioned above but I also don't want to rule out nudity all together. I think that nudity at home, when handled in a respectful, matter of fact way, is perfectly normal. I want him to be comfortable being naked and knowing that I am comfortable being naked will enforce that. But when do the uncomfortable questions start? Or do I just tell it like it is? How long can I ignore his questions?

Blondies at the Barbie

2010-08-28T07:35:00.002-04:00

Zzzzzz

2010-08-25T03:02:00.014-04:00

I can't sleep. No, stratch that. I don't think I will ever sleep again. Ever. I don't have trouble falling asleep, its the staying asleep that gets me. Its 3am. We had a busy day. I should be asleep, but alas, I'm not. I fell asleep putting Wyatt to bed (which how could I not? He's so cuddly and soothing and sleepy...drool) only to wake up for NO APPARENT reason. Then not being able to fall back asleep, I give in and head into the artificial light of the night. I think it is safe to say that I haven't had a full 8 hours of sleep since I was pregnant. Thats about 3 years ago. I have always been a light sleeper but this is ridiculous.

All I can think of is that it is just so flipping ironic. Wyatt is FINALLY sleeping through the night. From 9:30pm till 8am. And I am STILL getting up. Is there no justice in the world?!?! Sometimes I lay awake watching him sleep. He's so angelic and peaceful. Then I slowly get jealous. Sometimes I contemplate waking him up just so I won't be lonley. That idea is quickly stratched. I really don't think there is anything worse then being awake when all you want to do is be asleep.

Medication has been suggested. But how could I possible take sleeping pills? Yes, I guess that would work for me but is that really the best choice for Wyatt. What if he needs me during the night and I can't wake up? I can't be drowsy during the day. Plus, I am pretty hesitant to take medication anyway. So, no. Pills are not my solution.

I know my naysayers are saying "Move that child into another bed." Wyatt is not the problem. Yes, he rolls around a little but nothing dramatic. I have been (mildly) trying to get him in his own bed. I thought that Rebecca could put him to sleep upstairs in his potential new room under the guise of a fun sleepover with his aunt. It lasted 30 minutes before he told Auntie B that the sleepover was over and he wanted to go back downstairs. So much for my well laid plans. I'm not really motivated to move him. He is starting school soon. I am hesitant to throw too many new things at him at once. And (am I allowed to admit this) I am going to be sad to see him go. I will never have this time with him again. And I am not sure, if I have another child, that co-sleeping will be an option under different circumstances. I enjoy having him close to me. He is a cuddlier and I am more than happy to oblige. He is my baby and I will always be there if he needs me.

I guess I am just going to have to tough it out and pray for some relief soon. Catch up on my DVR and Netflix. Maybe join Wyatt for his hour long naps. Invest in some delicious, irresistible coffee. Relish in the quiet at 4am. Moonlight as a phone sex operator. Who knows?

New Haircut, aka, My First Mohawk

2010-08-21T07:38:00.002-04:00

Wyatt One Liners - The Bathroom Edition

2010-08-18T08:42:00.001-04:00

We are at a Mets game with Gammy, Pa, Auntie B, Wyatt and I. Gammy had attempted to get us a round of beers and came back empty hands to a chorus of groans and sighs.
"I didn't know everyone got carded?!?" She said exasperated.
"What?!" Wyatt chimes in. "Everyone gets farted? I didn't know everyone gets farted!"
He had the people sitting around us laughing with that one.

Pa and Wyatt are sitting in the bathroom together. After about 10 minutes, I decide to check to make sure everything is ok. Before I can get over the threshold Wyatt looks up saying, "Mom, you better get out of here. Its going to get stinky."

Gammy asks if Wyatt needs to go pee or poop. "I'm doing a little pee-pees, a little tootles, and a little farts."

After a unusually long bathroom session with Wyatt, I go to flush the toilet and see the largest man-sized poop I have ever seen. "Woah! Wyatt those are some big poo-poos"
"Don't flush it!!! I want Gammy and Pa to see."
As he runs out of the room to get them he's yelling "It's a whopper. Gammy! Pa! I did a whopper!"

On our way home from camping we have to make a pit stop because Wyatt announced he had to go poo-poos. We stopped at a pizza joint and I took him to the bathroom. After about 30 minutes in the bathroom, I asked him what was the matter. "The poo-poos are too big for my butt." We ended up staying at the pizza place for close to 2 hours before giving in to performance anxiety in a new place. When we got home, he ran straight to the bathroom and pooped.

Wyatt was giving a shot at peeing standing up. It wasn't going as well as planned. He hit the toilet, and then the seat, and then the floor, and then my leg, and finally himself before I picked him up and put him in the bathtub. I tend to think he did it on purpose because he was getting a huge reaction out of me. Once in the tub and he was watching me clean up he says "Don't worry. Don't panic. It's going to be OK."